Chapter: SCENE VI    ORGON, DAMIS, TARTUFFE


  ORGON
  Just Heaven! Can what I hear be credited?

  TARTUFFE
  Yes, brother, I am wicked, I am guilty,
  A miserable sinner, steeped in evil,
  The greatest criminal that ever lived.
  Each moment of my life is stained with soilures;
  And all is but a mass of crime and filth;
  Heaven, for my punishment, I see it plainly,
  Would mortify me now. Whatever wrong
  They find to charge me with, I'll not deny it
  But guard against the pride of self-defence.
  Believe their stories, arm your wrath against me,
  And drive me like a villain from your house;
  I cannot have so great a share of shame
  But what I have deserved a greater still.

  ORGON (to his son)
  You miscreant, can you dare, with such a falsehood,
  To try to stain the whiteness of his virtue?

  DAMIS
  What! The feigned meekness of this hypocrite
  Makes you discredit ...

  ORGON
  Silence, cursed plague!

  TARTUFFE
  Ah! Let him speak; you chide him wrongfully;
  You'd do far better to believe his tales.
  Why favour me so much in such a matter?
  How can you know of what I'm capable?
  And should you trust my outward semblance, brother,
  Or judge therefrom that I'm the better man?
  No, no; you let appearances deceive you;
  I'm anything but what I'm thought to be,
  Alas! and though all men believe me godly,
  The simple truth is, I'm a worthless creature.

  (To Damis)
  Yes, my dear son, say on, and call me traitor,
  Abandoned scoundrel, thief, and murderer;
  Heap on me names yet more detestable,
  And I shall not gainsay you; I've deserved them;
  I'll bear this ignominy on my knees,
  To expiate in shame the crimes I've done.

  ORGON (to Tartuffe)
  Ah, brother, 'tis too much!

  (To his son)
  You'll not relent,
  You blackguard?

  DAMIS
  What! His talk can so deceive you ...

  ORGON
  Silence, you scoundrel!

  (To Tartuffe)
  Brother, rise, I beg you.

  (To his son)
  Infamous villain!

  DAMIS
  Can he ...

  ORGON
  Silence!

  DAMIS
  What ...

  ORGON
  Another word, I'll break your every bone.

  TARTUFFE
  Brother, in God's name, don't be angry with him!
  I'd rather bear myself the bitterest torture
  Than have him get a scratch on my account.

  ORGON (to his son)
  Ungrateful monster!

  TARTUFFE
  Stop. Upon my knees
  I beg you pardon him ...

  ORGON (throwing himself on his knees too, and embracing Tartuffe)
  Alas! How can you?

  (To his son)
  Villain! Behold his goodness!

  DAMIS
  So ...

  ORGON
  Be still.

  DAMIS
  What! I ...

  ORGON
  Be still, I say. I know your motives
  For this attack. You hate him, all of you;
  Wife, children, servants, all let loose upon him,
  You have recourse to every shameful trick
  To drive this godly man out of my house;
  The more you strive to rid yourselves of him,
  The more I'll strive to make him stay with me;
  I'll have him straightway married to my daughter,
  Just to confound the pride of all of you.

  DAMIS
  What! Will you force her to accept his hand?

  ORGON
  Yes, and this very evening, to enrage you,
  Young rascal! Ah! I'll brave you all, and show you
  That I'm the master, and must be obeyed.
  Now, down upon your knees this instant, rogue,
  And take back what you said, and ask his pardon.

  DAMIS
  Who? I? Ask pardon of that cheating scoundrel ... ?

  ORGON
  Do you resist, you beggar, and insult him?
  A cudgel, here! a cudgel!

  (To Tartuffe)
  Don't restrain me.

  (To his son)
  Off with you! Leave my house this instant, sirrah,
  And never dare set foot in it again.

  DAMIS
  Yes, I will leave your house, but ...

  ORGON
  Leave it quickly.
  You reprobate, I disinherit you,
  And give you, too, my curse into the bargain.

 Orgon immediately asks Tartuffe if what Damis is saying is true. . Tartuffe tells Orgon that he is, in fact a bad guy, that he's awful, sinful, terrible, the worst person this side of Judas. He tells Orgon to believe what he has just been told, and to kick him to the curb, please. No, really. Orgon doesn't seem to hear what Tartuffe has said. He screams at Damis and calls him a liar. Damis can't believe it; he can't believe Tartuffe's little reverse psychology trick has worked. When he goes to reason with Orgon he's cut off. Tartuffe steps in to defend Damis. He reiterates that he, Tartuffe, is full of it, a liar, a hypocrite, an awful human being. He turns to Damis, kneels before him, and asks him to accuse him some more; he says that he deserves every last bit of punishment. Orgon comforts Tartuffe then turns and insults Damis. Damis tries to talk some sense into him. Orgon insults his son, asks Tartuffe to stand up, then insults him again. This cycle repeats itself a few times until Tartuffe finally falls to his knees again and asks Orgon to pardon Damis. Orgon is, of course, blown away by Tartuffe's kindness. He insults Damis some more, then declares that he'll have Mariane marry Tartuffe this night. He then asks Damis to kneel down and beg Tartuffe for forgiveness. When Damis refuses to do this, Orgon threatens to beat him, then tells him to scram, for good, and never come back. Oh, and he disinherits him too.

