Chapter: "You see," said Cacambo to Candide, as soon as they had reached the
frontiers of the Oreillons, "that this hemisphere is not better than the
others, take my word for it; let us go back to Europe by the shortest
way."

"How go back?" said Candide, "and where shall we go? to my own country?
The Bulgarians and the Abares are slaying all; to Portugal? there I
shall be burnt; and if we abide here we are every moment in danger of
being spitted. But how can I resolve to quit a part of the world where
my dear Cunegonde resides?"

"Let us turn towards Cayenne," said Cacambo, "there we shall find
Frenchmen, who wander all over the world; they may assist us; God will
perhaps have pity on us."

It was not easy to get to Cayenne; they knew vaguely in which direction
to go, but rivers, precipices, robbers, savages, obstructed them all the
way. Their horses died of fatigue. Their provisions were consumed; they
fed a whole month upon wild fruits, and found themselves at last near a
little river bordered with cocoa trees, which sustained their lives and
their hopes.

Cacambo, who was as good a counsellor as the old woman, said to Candide:

"We are able to hold out no longer; we have walked enough. I see an
empty canoe near the river-side; let us fill it with cocoanuts, throw
ourselves into it, and go with the current; a river always leads to some
inhabited spot. If we do not find pleasant things we shall at least find
new things."

"With all my heart," said Candide, "let us recommend ourselves to
Providence."

They rowed a few leagues, between banks, in some places flowery, in
others barren; in some parts smooth, in others rugged. The stream ever
widened, and at length lost itself under an arch of frightful rocks
which reached to the sky. The two travellers had the courage to commit
themselves to the current. The river, suddenly contracting at this
place, whirled them along with a dreadful noise and rapidity. At the end
of four-and-twenty hours they saw daylight again, but their canoe was
dashed to pieces against the rocks. For a league they had to creep from
rock to rock, until at length they discovered an extensive plain,
bounded by inaccessible mountains. The country was cultivated as much
for pleasure as for necessity. On all sides the useful was also the
beautiful. The roads were covered, or rather adorned, with carriages of
a glittering form and substance, in which were men and women of
surprising beauty, drawn by large red sheep which surpassed in fleetness
the finest coursers of Andalusia, Tetuan, and Mequinez.[18]

"Here, however, is a country," said Candide, "which is better than
Westphalia."

He stepped out with Cacambo towards the first village which he saw. Some
children dressed in tattered brocades played at quoits on the outskirts.
Our travellers from the other world amused themselves by looking on. The
quoits were large round pieces, yellow, red, and green, which cast a
singular lustre! The travellers picked a few of them off the ground;
this was of gold, that of emeralds, the other of rubies--the least of
them would have been the greatest ornament on the Mogul's throne.

"Without doubt," said Cacambo, "these children must be the king's sons
that are playing at quoits!"

The village schoolmaster appeared at this moment and called them to
school.

"There," said Candide, "is the preceptor of the royal family."

The little truants immediately quitted their game, leaving the quoits
on the ground with all their other playthings. Candide gathered them up,
ran to the master, and presented them to him in a most humble manner,
giving him to understand by signs that their royal highnesses had
forgotten their gold and jewels. The schoolmaster, smiling, flung them
upon the ground; then, looking at Candide with a good deal of surprise,
went about his business.

The travellers, however, took care to gather up the gold, the rubies,
and the emeralds.

"Where are we?" cried Candide. "The king's children in this country must
be well brought up, since they are taught to despise gold and precious
stones."

Cacambo was as much surprised as Candide. At length they drew near the
first house in the village. It was built like an European palace. A
crowd of people pressed about the door, and there were still more in the
house. They heard most agreeable music, and were aware of a delicious
odour of cooking. Cacambo went up to the door and heard they were
talking Peruvian; it was his mother tongue, for it is well known that
Cacambo was born in Tucuman, in a village where no other language was
spoken.

"I will be your interpreter here," said he to Candide; "let us go in, it
is a public-house."

Immediately two waiters and two girls, dressed in cloth of gold, and
their hair tied up with ribbons, invited them to sit down to table with
the landlord. They served four dishes of soup, each garnished with two
young parrots; a boiled condor[19] which weighed two hundred pounds; two
roasted monkeys, of excellent flavour; three hundred humming-birds in
one dish, and six hundred fly-birds in another; exquisite ragouts;
delicious pastries; the whole served up in dishes of a kind of
rock-crystal. The waiters and girls poured out several liqueurs drawn
from the sugar-cane.

Most of the company were chapmen and waggoners, all extremely polite;
they asked Cacambo a few questions with the greatest circumspection, and
answered his in the most obliging manner.

As soon as dinner was over, Cacambo believed as well as Candide that
they might well pay their reckoning by laying down two of those large
gold pieces which they had picked up. The landlord and landlady shouted
with laughter and held their sides. When the fit was over:

"Gentlemen," said the landlord, "it is plain you are strangers, and such
guests we are not accustomed to see; pardon us therefore for laughing
when you offered us the pebbles from our highroads in payment of your
reckoning. You doubtless have not the money of the country; but it is
not necessary to have any money at all to dine in this house. All
hostelries established for the convenience of commerce are paid by the
government. You have fared but very indifferently because this is a poor
village; but everywhere else, you will be received as you deserve."

Cacambo explained this whole discourse with great astonishment to
Candide, who was as greatly astonished to hear it.

"What sort of a country then is this," said they to one another; "a
country unknown to all the rest of the world, and where nature is of a
kind so different from ours? It is probably the country where all is
well; for there absolutely must be one such place. And, whatever Master
Pangloss might say, I often found that things went very ill in
Westphalia."




Cacambo expressed his curiosity to the landlord, who made answer:

"I am very ignorant, but not the worse on that account. However, we have
in this neighbourhood an old man retired from Court who is the most
learned and most communicative person in the kingdom."

At once he took Cacambo to the old man. Candide acted now only a second
character, and accompanied his valet. They entered a very plain house,
for the door was only of silver, and the ceilings were only of gold, but
wrought in so elegant a taste as to vie with the richest. The
antechamber, indeed, was only encrusted with rubies and emeralds, but
the order in which everything was arranged made amends for this great
simplicity.

The old man received the strangers on his sofa, which was stuffed with
humming-birds' feathers, and ordered his servants to present them with
liqueurs in diamond goblets; after which he satisfied their curiosity
in the following terms:

"I am now one hundred and seventy-two years old, and I learnt of my late
father, Master of the Horse to the King, the amazing revolutions of
Peru, of which he had been an eyewitness. The kingdom we now inhabit is
the ancient country of the Incas, who quitted it very imprudently to
conquer another part of the world, and were at length destroyed by the
Spaniards.

"More wise by far were the princes of their family, who remained in
their native country; and they ordained, with the consent of the whole
nation, that none of the inhabitants should ever be permitted to quit
this little kingdom; and this has preserved our innocence and happiness.
The Spaniards have had a confused notion of this country, and have
called it _El Dorado_; and an Englishman, whose name was Sir Walter
Raleigh, came very near it about a hundred years ago; but being
surrounded by inaccessible rocks and precipices, we have hitherto been
sheltered from the rapaciousness of European nations, who have an
inconceivable passion for the pebbles and dirt of our land, for the sake
of which they would murder us to the last man."

The conversation was long: it turned chiefly on their form of
government, their manners, their women, their public entertainments,
and the arts. At length Candide, having always had a taste for
metaphysics, made Cacambo ask whether there was any religion in that
country.

The old man reddened a little.

"How then," said he, "can you doubt it? Do you take us for ungrateful
wretches?"

Cacambo humbly asked, "What was the religion in El Dorado?"

The old man reddened again.

"Can there be two religions?" said he. "We have, I believe, the religion
of all the world: we worship God night and morning."

"Do you worship but one God?" said Cacambo, who still acted as
interpreter in representing Candide's doubts.

"Surely," said the old man, "there are not two, nor three, nor four. I
must confess the people from your side of the world ask very
extraordinary questions."

Candide was not yet tired of interrogating the good old man; he wanted
to know in what manner they prayed to God in El Dorado.

"We do not pray to Him," said the worthy sage; "we have nothing to ask
of Him; He has given us all we need, and we return Him thanks without
ceasing."

Candide having a curiosity to see the priests asked where they were.
The good old man smiled.

"My friend," said he, "we are all priests. The King and all the heads of
families sing solemn canticles of thanksgiving every morning,
accompanied by five or six thousand musicians."

"What! have you no monks who teach, who dispute, who govern, who cabal,
and who burn people that are not of their opinion?"

"We must be mad, indeed, if that were the case," said the old man; "here
we are all of one opinion, and we know not what you mean by monks."

During this whole discourse Candide was in raptures, and he said to
himself:

"This is vastly different from Westphalia and the Baron's castle. Had
our friend Pangloss seen El Dorado he would no longer have said that the
castle of Thunder-ten-Tronckh was the finest upon earth. It is evident
that one must travel."

After this long conversation the old man ordered a coach and six sheep
to be got ready, and twelve of his domestics to conduct the travellers
to Court.

"Excuse me," said he, "if my age deprives me of the honour of
accompanying you. The King will receive you in a manner that cannot
displease you; and no doubt you will make an allowance for the customs
of the country, if some things should not be to your liking."

Candide and Cacambo got into the coach, the six sheep flew, and in less
than four hours they reached the King's palace situated at the extremity
of the capital. The portal was two hundred and twenty feet high, and one
hundred wide; but words are wanting to express the materials of which it
was built. It is plain such materials must have prodigious superiority
over those pebbles and sand which we call gold and precious stones.

Twenty beautiful damsels of the King's guard received Candide and
Cacambo as they alighted from the coach, conducted them to the bath, and
dressed them in robes woven of the down of humming-birds; after which
the great crown officers, of both sexes, led them to the King's
apartment, between two files of musicians, a thousand on each side. When
they drew near to the audience chamber Cacambo asked one of the great
officers in what way he should pay his obeisance to his Majesty; whether
they should throw themselves upon their knees or on their stomachs;
whether they should put their hands upon their heads or behind their
backs; whether they should lick the dust off the floor; in a word, what
was the ceremony?

"The custom," said the great officer, "is to embrace the King, and to
kiss him on each cheek."

Candide and Cacambo threw themselves round his Majesty's neck. He
received them with all the goodness imaginable, and politely invited
them to supper.

While waiting they were shown the city, and saw the public edifices
raised as high as the clouds, the market places ornamented with a
thousand columns, the fountains of spring water, those of rose water,
those of liqueurs drawn from sugar-cane, incessantly flowing into the
great squares, which were paved with a kind of precious stone, which
gave off a delicious fragrancy like that of cloves and cinnamon. Candide
asked to see the court of justice, the parliament. They told him they
had none, and that they were strangers to lawsuits. He asked if they had
any prisons, and they answered no. But what surprised him most and gave
him the greatest pleasure was the palace of sciences, where he saw a
gallery two thousand feet long, and filled with instruments employed in
mathematics and physics.

After rambling about the city the whole afternoon, and seeing but a
thousandth part of it, they were reconducted to the royal palace, where
Candide sat down to table with his Majesty, his valet Cacambo, and
several ladies. Never was there a better entertainment, and never was
more wit shown at a table than that which fell from his Majesty. Cacambo
explained the King's _bon-mots_ to Candide, and notwithstanding they
were translated they still appeared to be _bon-mots_. Of all the things
that surprised Candide this was not the least.

They spent a month in this hospitable place. Candide frequently said to
Cacambo:

"I own, my friend, once more that the castle where I was born is nothing
in comparison with this; but, after all, Miss Cunegonde is not here, and
you have, without doubt, some mistress in Europe. If we abide here we
shall only be upon a footing with the rest, whereas, if we return to our
old world, only with twelve sheep laden with the pebbles of El Dorado,
we shall be richer than all the kings in Europe. We shall have no more
Inquisitors to fear, and we may easily recover Miss Cunegonde."

This speech was agreeable to Cacambo; mankind are so fond of roving, of
making a figure in their own country, and of boasting of what they have
seen in their travels, that the two happy ones resolved to be no longer
so, but to ask his Majesty's leave to quit the country.

"You are foolish," said the King. "I am sensible that my kingdom is but
a small place, but when a person is comfortably settled in any part he
should abide there. I have not the right to detain strangers. It is a
tyranny which neither our manners nor our laws permit. All men are free.
Go when you wish, but the going will be very difficult. It is impossible
to ascend that rapid river on which you came as by a miracle, and which
runs under vaulted rocks. The mountains which surround my kingdom are
ten thousand feet high, and as steep as walls; they are each over ten
leagues in breadth, and there is no other way to descend them than by
precipices. However, since you absolutely wish to depart, I shall give
orders to my engineers to construct a machine that will convey you very
safely. When we have conducted you over the mountains no one can
accompany you further, for my subjects have made a vow never to quit the
kingdom, and they are too wise to break it. Ask me besides anything that
you please."

"We desire nothing of your Majesty," says Candide, "but a few sheep
laden with provisions, pebbles, and the earth of this country."

The King laughed.

"I cannot conceive," said he, "what pleasure you Europeans find in our
yellow clay, but take as much as you like, and great good may it do
you."

At once he gave directions that his engineers should construct a machine
to hoist up these two extraordinary men out of the kingdom. Three
thousand good mathematicians went to work; it was ready in fifteen days,
and did not cost more than twenty million sterling in the specie of that
country. They placed Candide and Cacambo on the machine. There were two
great red sheep saddled and bridled to ride upon as soon as they were
beyond the mountains, twenty pack-sheep laden with provisions, thirty
with presents of the curiosities of the country, and fifty with gold,
diamonds, and precious stones. The King embraced the two wanderers very
tenderly.

Their departure, with the ingenious manner in which they and their sheep
were hoisted over the mountains, was a splendid spectacle. The
mathematicians took their leave after conveying them to a place of
safety, and Candide had no other desire, no other aim, than to present
his sheep to Miss Cunegonde.

"Now," said he, "we are able to pay the Governor of Buenos Ayres if Miss
Cunegonde can be ransomed. Let us journey towards Cayenne. Let us
embark, and we will afterwards see what kingdom we shall be able to
purchase."

 At the frontiers of the Oreillon country, Cacambo told Candide that this hemisphere was no better than the other and that they ought to go back to Europe. Candide, rudely awakened regarding the world he knew in Western Europe, had been sure that the New World would be that best of all possible ones. But he replied that return would be impossible: in Westphalia, the war continued; in Portugal, he would be burned at the stake. Yet if they remained in South America, he continued, they would risk being put on the spit and roasted. The one imponderable was that he could not leave this part of the world where Cunegonde lived. At the frontiers of the Oreillon country, Cacambo told Candide that this hemisphere was no better than the other and that they ought to go back to Europe. Candide, rudely awakened regarding the world he knew in Western Europe, had been sure that the New World would be that best of all possible ones. But he replied that return would be impossible: in Westphalia, the war continued; in Portugal, he would be burned at the stake. Yet if they remained in South America, he continued, they would risk being put on the spit and roasted. The one imponderable was that he could not leave this part of the world where Cunegonde lived. Cacambo proposed that they go to Cayenne, where they would find Frenchmen who might help them and take pity on them. They started out on the arduous journey, crossing mountains and rivers and meeting brigands and savages. Their horses died of fatigue, and for a month they lived on wild fruits. At last they came to a little river bordered with coconut trees, which provided them with food. Cacambo spotted an empty canoe on the beach and suggested that the two fill it with coconuts and then drift with the current. A river, he explained, always led to some inhabited spot. Candide agreed to this plan. The trip was not without its hazards, and at last their canoe was smashed on the reefs. With difficulty they continued afoot, finally coming to a vast open country bordered by inaccessible mountains. On the roads were splendidly ornate carriages in which were men and women of singular attractiveness and which were drawn rapidly by big red sheep. As he surveyed the scene, Candide concluded that this strange country was even better than Westphalia. Children dressed in gold brocade were playing quoits. And the quoits were made of gold, emeralds, and rubies that would have been an ornament to a mogul's throne. Cacambo was sure that the children were sons of the king. When the village schoolmaster called to the children, Candide was no less sure that he was the tutor of the royal family. The children went from their game to the school, leaving the priceless quoits lying on the ground, whereupon Candide picked them up and ran to the tutor with them. He made the tutor understand by means of signs that the quoits had been forgotten. But the tutor, smiling, merely threw them to the ground and walked away. Candide and Cacambo did not fail to pick them up. Both were surprised that these "King's children" should have been reared to despise gold and jewels. They next approached the first house in the village and found a crowd of people at the door, heard pleasant music, and enjoyed the odor of cooking. Cacambo discovered that the people spoke his native tongue, Peruvian. When the two entered what they now took to be an inn, he served as interpreter. Two boys and four girls dressed in cloth of gold invited them to sit down at the host's table, and they were served a sumptuous dinner of many strange and rare dishes. Most of the guests were merchants and coachmen. All were extremely polite and tactfully asked many questions. When the dinner was over, Cacambo and Candide thought that they should pay their bill for the dinner, so Cacambo threw on the host's table two of the golden quoits, at the sight of which the host and hostess laughed heartily. "We can readily see that you are foreigners," said the host, and he asked their pardon for having laughed. He referred to the golden quoits as the "pebbles of our highways" and explained that in this country payment was not required since the government paid for the upkeep of all hostelries. He concluded by apologizing for what he called a bad meal and assured the two that they would fare better elsewhere. Candide listened in amazement to Cacambo's translation of the host's remarks. Both he and his companion were sure that at last they had found the one country where indeed all was best. Candide now admitted that whatever Doctor Pangloss had said, things were really pretty bad in Westphalia. In order that Cacambo might satisfy his curiosity about the country, the friendly host took him to see an elderly retired courtier. This man lived in a modest home, one with only a silver door and gold paneling in the apartments, which were adorned only with rubies and emeralds. He received the two visitors on a sofa stuffed with humming bird feathers, served them drinks in diamond vases, and proceeded to tell them about himself and the kingdom. They learned that their host was one hundred and seventy-two years old and that his father had taught him the history of the country. That country had been the ancient kingdom of the Incas, who imprudently had left it to conquer part of the world and were finally destroyed by the Spaniards. But the wiser Incan prince remained in this country, and, with popular consent, ruled that no others should leave it, thus their innocence and happiness were preserved. The Spaniards had learned something about the country, which they call Eldorado. And an Englishman named Walter Raleigh nearly reached it a hundred years ago, but the inaccessible rocks and precipices protected the land so that the inhabitants were sheltered from the rapacity of Europeans. Candide and Cacambo learned a great deal about the form of government, women, public spectacles, and arts. Then the youth asked if the Eldoradoans had a religion. To be sure they had, and they worshipped the only God, not two or three. No, they did not pray to him because they did not have to; they had all they wanted, but they did sing hymns of thanksgiving. Nor was there a separate priesthood; all were priests. They would have been crazy to have monks "to teach, to dispute, to govern, to intrigue, and to have people burned for not being of their opinion." Candide was in ecstasy, for he had heard of nothing like this in Westphalia or elsewhere in Europe. Travel was indeed enlightening. At last the good old man ordered a carriage drawn by six sheep, gave the travelers twelve servants, and directed them to visit the king, who would welcome them. In only four hours Candide and his valet arrived at the palace, the most remarkable edifice imaginable. They were received by twenty beautiful girls and accorded every courtesy. As they were being conducted to the throne room, they learned that they were not expected to grovel or in other ways demean themselves before His Majesty. The custom was to embrace him and kiss him on both cheeks. They were most graciously received, invited to supper, and conducted about part of the town with its great squares paved with precious stones. To his surprise, Candide learned that neither law courts nor prisons were needed for these happy, law-abiding people. What most impressed him, however, was the Palace of Sciences with its many instruments for mathematics and physics. Later, the royal supper completed the wonderful experiences of the day. What amazed Candide was the king's witty conversation. For a month the two remained in Eldorado, but Candide pined for his lovely Cunegonde, and he was sure that Cacambo must have a lady love in Europe. Why, he asked, should they not take their twelve sheep laden with the "pebbles" of Eldorado and return? Wealthy as they would be, they would fear no one, and they could recover Madamoiselle Cunegonde easily. Cacambo agreed. But the king warned them that they were being foolish: when a person is reasonably well off, he should not grow restless. Yet he conceded that he had no right to detain foreigners; such an action would be tyrannical, for all men are free. To help them on the arduous journey out of Eldorado, he ordered the necessary supplies and equipment that would get them beyond the mountains. They would be accompanied to the borders of the country. When Cacambo asked that they be given "a few sheep loaded with victuals, pebbles, and some of the country's mud," the king, greatly amused, granted the request, although he declared that he could not understand the European's obsession for the yellow mud. So the travelers were able to leave this fabulous land, riding on two big red sheep and leading a pack of twenty others laden in the manner requested. Candide was content. Now he had enough wealth to ransom Cunegonde. First he and Cacambo would head for Cayenne and then see what kingdom they could buy.

