Chapter: ACT V. SCENE 1.

A room in the Garter Inn.

[Enter FALSTAFF and MISTRESS QUICKLY.]

FALSTAFF.
Prithee, no more prattling; go: I'll hold. This is the third time;
I hope good luck lies in odd numbers. Away! go. They say there is
divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death. Away!

QUICKLY.
I'll provide you a chain, and I'll do what I can to get you a pair
of horns.

FALSTAFF.
Away, I say; time wears; hold up your head, and mince. 

[Exit MRS. QUICKLY.]

[Enter FORD.]

How now, Master Brook! Master Brook, the matter will be known
tonight, or never. Be you in the Park about midnight, at Herne's
oak, and you shall see wonders.

FORD.
Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you told me you had appointed?

FALSTAFF.
I went to her, Master Brook, as you see, like a poor old man; but
I came from her, Master Brook, like a poor old woman. That same
knave Ford, her husband, hath  the finest mad devil of jealousy
in him, Master Brook, that ever governed frenzy. I will tell you:
he beat me grievously in the shape of a woman; for in the shape
of man, Master Brook, I fear not Goliath with a weaver's beam,
because I know also life is a shuttle. I am in haste; go along
with me; I'll tell you all, Master Brook. Since I plucked geese,
played truant, and whipped top, I knew not what 'twas to be beaten
till lately. Follow me: I'll tell you strange things of this knave
Ford, on whom to-night I will be revenged, and I will deliver his
wife into your hand. Follow. Strange things in hand, Master Brook!
Follow. 

[Exeunt.]

 At the Garter Inn, Falstaff chats with Mistress Quickly, who promises to help him put together his "Herne the Hunter" costume. Ford shows up in his "Brooke" disguise, and Falstaff tells him all about being beaten by that crazy guy Master Ford. Falstaff admits he's never been beaten so badly in his life, not even when he was a snot-nosed kid who went around causing mischief and playing hooky from school. So, that's saying something. Finally, Falstaff vows to get back at Ford by hooking up with his wife in the woods that night.

