Chapter: SCENE IV

  ELMIRE, ORGON


  ELMIRE
  Bring up this table, and get under it.

  ORGON
  What?

  ELMIRE
  One essential is to hide you well.

  ORGON
  Why under there?

  ELMIRE
  Oh, dear! Do as I say;
  I know what I'm about, as you shall see.
  Get under, now, I tell you; and once there
  Be careful no one either sees or hears you.

  ORGON
  I'm going a long way to humour you,
  I must say; but I'll see you through your scheme.

  ELMIRE
  And then you'll have, I think, no more to say.

  (To her husband, who is now under the table.)
  But mind, I'm going to meddle with strange matters;
  Prepare yourself to be in no wise shocked.
  Whatever I may say must pass, because
  'Tis only to convince you, as I promised.
  By wheedling speeches, since I'm forced to do it,
  I'll make this hypocrite put off his mask,
  Flatter the longings of his shameless passion,
  And give free play to all his impudence.
  But, since 'tis for your sake, to prove to you
  His guilt, that I shall feign to share his love,
  I can leave off as soon as you're convinced,
  And things shall go no farther than you choose.
  So, when you think they've gone quite far enough,
  It is for you to stop his mad pursuit,
  To spare your wife, and not expose me farther
  Than you shall need, yourself, to undeceive you.
  It is your own affair, and you must end it
  When ... Here he comes. Keep still, don't show yourself.

 Elmire pulls up a table and tells Orgon to get underneath. He's a little confused by the whole thing, but he eventually consents. Elmire warns him that things are going to get a little bit weird, a bit shocking maybe, but that it's all an act. She's going to do her best to encourage Tartuffe, to fan the flames of his lust, as it were. You have the right to stop things whenever you've seen enough, she says, but before she can finish telling him...

