Chapter: ACT I. SCENE I.

Verona. An open place

Enter VALENTINE and PROTEUS

  VALENTINE. Cease to persuade, my loving Proteus:
    Home-keeping youth have ever homely wits.
    Were't not affection chains thy tender days
    To the sweet glances of thy honour'd love,
    I rather would entreat thy company
    To see the wonders of the world abroad,
    Than, living dully sluggardiz'd at home,
    Wear out thy youth with shapeless idleness.
    But since thou lov'st, love still, and thrive therein,
    Even as I would, when I to love begin.
  PROTEUS. Wilt thou be gone? Sweet Valentine, adieu!
    Think on thy Proteus, when thou haply seest
    Some rare noteworthy object in thy travel.
    Wish me partaker in thy happiness
    When thou dost meet good hap; and in thy danger,
    If ever danger do environ thee,
    Commend thy grievance to my holy prayers,
    For I will be thy headsman, Valentine.
  VALENTINE. And on a love-book pray for my success?
  PROTEUS. Upon some book I love I'll pray for thee.
  VALENTINE. That's on some shallow story of deep love:
    How young Leander cross'd the Hellespont.
  PROTEUS. That's a deep story of a deeper love;
    For he was more than over shoes in love.
  VALENTINE. 'Tis true; for you are over boots in love,
    And yet you never swum the Hellespont.
  PROTEUS. Over the boots! Nay, give me not the boots.
  VALENTINE. No, I will not, for it boots thee not.
  PROTEUS. What?
  VALENTINE. To be in love- where scorn is bought with groans,
    Coy looks with heart-sore sighs, one fading moment's mirth
    With twenty watchful, weary, tedious nights;
    If haply won, perhaps a hapless gain;
    If lost, why then a grievous labour won;
    However, but a folly bought with wit,
    Or else a wit by folly vanquished.
  PROTEUS. So, by your circumstance, you call me fool.
  VALENTINE. So, by your circumstance, I fear you'll prove.
  PROTEUS. 'Tis love you cavil at; I am not Love.
  VALENTINE. Love is your master, for he masters you;
    And he that is so yoked by a fool,
    Methinks, should not be chronicled for wise.
  PROTEUS. Yet writers say, as in the sweetest bud
    The eating canker dwells, so eating love
    Inhabits in the finest wits of all.
  VALENTINE. And writers say, as the most forward bud
    Is eaten by the canker ere it blow,
    Even so by love the young and tender wit
    Is turn'd to folly, blasting in the bud,
    Losing his verdure even in the prime,
    And all the fair effects of future hopes.
    But wherefore waste I time to counsel the
    That art a votary to fond desire?
    Once more adieu. My father at the road
    Expects my coming, there to see me shipp'd.
  PROTEUS. And thither will I bring thee, Valentine.
  VALENTINE. Sweet Proteus, no; now let us take our leave.
    To Milan let me hear from thee by letters
    Of thy success in love, and what news else
    Betideth here in absence of thy friend;
    And I likewise will visit thee with mine.
  PROTEUS. All happiness bechance to thee in Milan!
  VALENTINE. As much to you at home; and so farewell!
                                                  Exit VALENTINE
  PROTEUS. He after honour hunts, I after love;
    He leaves his friends to dignify them more:
    I leave myself, my friends, and all for love.
    Thou, Julia, thou hast metamorphis'd me,
    Made me neglect my studies, lose my time,
    War with good counsel, set the world at nought;
    Made wit with musing weak, heart sick with thought.

                         Enter SPEED

  SPEED. Sir Proteus, save you! Saw you my master?
  PROTEUS. But now he parted hence to embark for Milan.
  SPEED. Twenty to one then he is shipp'd already,
    And I have play'd the sheep in losing him.
  PROTEUS. Indeed a sheep doth very often stray,
    An if the shepherd be awhile away.
  SPEED. You conclude that my master is a shepherd then, and
    I a sheep?
  PROTEUS. I do.
  SPEED. Why then, my horns are his horns, whether I wake or
sleep.
  PROTEUS. A silly answer, and fitting well a sheep.
  SPEED. This proves me still a sheep.
  PROTEUS. True; and thy master a shepherd.
  SPEED. Nay, that I can deny by a circumstance.
  PROTEUS. It shall go hard but I'll prove it by another.
  SPEED. The shepherd seeks the sheep, and not the sheep the
    shepherd; but I seek my master, and my master seeks not me;
    therefore, I am no sheep.
  PROTEUS. The sheep for fodder follow the shepherd; the shepherd
for
    food follows not the sheep: thou for wages followest thy
master;
    thy master for wages follows not thee. Therefore, thou art a
    sheep.
  SPEED. Such another proof will make me cry 'baa.'
  PROTEUS. But dost thou hear? Gav'st thou my letter to Julia?
  SPEED. Ay, sir; I, a lost mutton, gave your letter to her, a
lac'd
    mutton; and she, a lac'd mutton, gave me, a lost mutton,
nothing
    for my labour.
  PROTEUS. Here's too small a pasture for such store of muttons.
  SPEED. If the ground be overcharg'd, you were best stick her.
  PROTEUS. Nay, in that you are astray: 'twere best pound you.
  SPEED. Nay, sir, less than a pound shall serve me for carrying
your
    letter.
  PROTEUS. You mistake; I mean the pound- a pinfold.
  SPEED. From a pound to a pin? Fold it over and over,
    'Tis threefold too little for carrying a letter to your
lover.
  PROTEUS. But what said she?
  SPEED.  [Nodding]  Ay.
  PROTEUS. Nod- ay. Why, that's 'noddy.'
  SPEED. You mistook, sir; I say she did nod; and you ask me if
she
    did nod; and I say 'Ay.'
  PROTEUS. And that set together is 'noddy.'
  SPEED. Now you have taken the pains to set it together, take it
for
    your pains.
  PROTEUS. No, no; you shall have it for bearing the letter.
  SPEED. Well, I perceive I must be fain to bear with you.
  PROTEUS. Why, sir, how do you bear with me?
  SPEED. Marry, sir, the letter, very orderly; having nothing but
the
    word 'noddy' for my pains.
  PROTEUS. Beshrew me, but you have a quick wit.
  SPEED. And yet it cannot overtake your slow purse.
  PROTEUS. Come, come, open the matter; in brief, what said she?
  SPEED. Open your purse, that the money and the matter may be
both
    at once delivered.
  PROTEUS. Well, sir, here is for your pains. What said she?
  SPEED. Truly, sir, I think you'll hardly win her.
  PROTEUS. Why, couldst thou perceive so much from her?
  SPEED. Sir, I could perceive nothing at all from her; no, not
so
    much as a ducat for delivering your letter; and being so hard
to
    me that brought your mind, I fear she'll prove as hard to you
in
    telling your mind. Give her no token but stones, for she's as
    hard as steel.
  PROTEUS. What said she? Nothing?
  SPEED. No, not so much as 'Take this for thy pains.' To testify

    your bounty, I thank you, you have testern'd me; in requital
    whereof, henceforth carry your letters yourself; and so, sir,
    I'll commend you to my master.
  PROTEUS. Go, go, be gone, to save your ship from wreck,
    Which cannot perish, having thee aboard,
    Being destin'd to a drier death on shore.         Exit SPEED
    I must go send some better messenger.
    I fear my Julia would not deign my lines,
    Receiving them from such a worthless post.              Exit

 Welcome to Verona...at least we think we're in Verona. The only indication Shakespeare gives us about the location is in the play's title. Two BFFs, Valentine and Proteus, are in the middle of a long and emotional goodbye. You see, Valentine is embarking on an adventure so he might learn a thing or two about "the wonders of the world abroad." Valentine wishes his dear friend would throw some jeans and sneakers into a backpack and join him , but since Proteus is in love with a girl in Verona, he understands why Proteus wants to stay behind. In between bouts of dramatic sighing, Proteus begs Valentine to think of him while he's on his adventure and promises to pray for Valentine while he's away. Then Valentine makes a snide remark and implies that Proteus's love for the yet-to-be-named mystery girl is "shallow." To emphasize his point that he doesn't like his buddy's romance, he compares Proteus to "Leander," a mythical/literary figure who drowned while swimming across the Hellespont to see his girlfriend, "Hero." Cynical Valentine continues to berate his pal for loving a woman and insists that love turns men into slaves and fools. Finally, Valentine says he's got to run or else he'll miss his boat to Milan. Valentine and Proteus finally say goodbye and promise to write. Proteus is left alone on stage. He whines that his love for Julia has caused him to neglect his homework assignments, causes him to argue with his friends, and causes him to generally waste his time moping around. Then "Speed" shows up. Speed wants to know if Proteus has seen his master. Proteus brings Speed up to speed on Valentine's recent departure and then the two engage in a silly conversation that involves one guy insulting the other guy by punning on the word "sheep." The dialogue's a little complicated, but it basically boils down to "You're a sheep." "No I'm not--you're a sheep." Proteus wants to know if Speed delivered his love letter to the luscious Julia and then Speed tells a dirty joke that involves, you guessed it, sheep. After an amusing and slightly exasperating comic routine, Speed shakes down Proteus for some money and finally says that, yes, he delivered Proteus's letter to Julia. Proteus is bummed to hear that Julia didn't get all excited when Speed delivered the letter and he reasons that she must have been put off by the annoying messenger . Proteus decides he'll find a new messenger to deliver his love notes to Julia.

