Chapter: 'THE NEST', CLAPTON

When I began to write this book, I determined to set down all things
exactly as I saw or heard them. But, although somewhat hardened in
such matters by long experience of a very ugly world, I find that
there are limits to what can be told of such a place as 'The Nest' in
pages which are meant for perusal by the general public. The house
itself is charming, with a good garden adorned by beautiful trees. It
has every arrangement and comfort possible for the welfare of its
child inmates, including an open-air bedroom, cleverly contrived from
an old greenhouse for the use of those among them whose lungs are
weakly.

But these inmates, these sixty-two children whose ages varied from
about four to about sixteen! What can I say of their histories? Only
in general language, that more than one half of them have been subject
to outrages too terrible to repeat, often enough at the hands of their
own fathers! If the reader wishes to learn more, he can apply
confidentially to Commissioner Cox, or to Mrs. Bramwell Booth.

[Illustration: SOME OF THE CHILDREN AT 'THE NEST'.]

Here, however, is a case that I can mention, as although it is
dreadful enough, it belongs to a different class. Seeing a child of
ten, whose name was Betty, playing about quite happily with the
others, I spoke to her, and afterwards asked for the particulars of
her story. They were brief. It appears that this poor little thing had
actually seen her father murder her mother. I am glad to be able to
add that to all appearance she has recovered from the shock of this
awful experience.

Indeed, all these little girls, notwithstanding their hideous pasts,
seemed, so far as I could judge, to be extremely happy at their
childish games in the garden. Except that some were of stunted growth,
I noted nothing abnormal about any of them. I was told, however, by
the Officer in charge, that occasionally, when they grow older,
propensities originally induced in them through no fault of their own
will assert themselves.

To lessen this danger, as in the case of the women inebriates, all
these children are brought up as vegetarians. Before me, as I write,
is the bill of fare for the week, which I tore off a notice board in
the house. The breakfast on three days, to take examples, consists of
porridge, with boiling milk and sugar, cocoa, brown and white bread
and butter. On the other mornings either stewed figs, prunes, or
marmalade are added. A sample dinner consists of lentil savoury, baked
potatoes, brown gravy and bread; boiled rice with milk and sugar. For
tea, bananas, apples, oranges, nuts, jam, brown and white bread and
butter and cocoa are supplied, but tea itself as a beverage is only
given on Sundays. A footnote to the bill of fare states that all
children over twelve years of age who wish for it, can have bread and
butter before going to bed.

Certainly the inmates of 'The Nest,' if any judgment may be formed
from their personal appearance, afford a good argument to the
advocates of vegetarianism.

It costs L13 a year to endow a bed in this Institution. Amongst
others, I saw one which was labelled 'The Band of Helpers' Bed. This
is maintained by girls who have passed through the Institution, and
are now earning their livelihood in the world, as I thought, a
touching and significant testimony. I should add that the children in
this Home are educated under the direction of a certificated
governess.

My visit to this Refuge made a deep impression on my mind. No person
of sense and experience, remembering the nameless outrages to which
many of these poor children have been exposed, could witness their
present health and happiness without realizing the blessed nature of
this work.

 Prior attends his board hearing. The internal tension between his ambition to prove himself on the battlefield and his desire to live nearly paralyzes Prior, and Dr. Rivers empathizes with him. Outside the hearing, Sassoon and several other soldiers wait for their own hearings, increasingly nervous as their appointments are further and further delayed. Angry that he is being made to wait after preparing himself to die for his country yet again, Sassoon leaves abruptly. When Dr. Rivers comes to find Sassoon to bring him into his hearing, he is long gone. After learning that he will be excused from further service, Prior sobs because he wanted to return to the front. Dr. Rivers explains that it was not his mental condition but his asthma that rendered him unfit for battle. Prior is ashamed, claiming he'll never know how he would have performed and fearing that his failure will haunt him. Dr. Rivers admits that if he were in Prior's position he would feel similarly because they have both been socially conditioned to do so. The psychologist tries to convince his patient that everyone who survives a war experiences guilt, trying to help him see that his reaction is perfectly normal. Prior explains that his asthma always made him want to prove himself more, but his mother was always holding him back for his own safety. He remarks that Dr. Rivers reminds him of his mother. Billy says he will write to the psychologist and the two men say goodbye amicably. Dr. Rivers eats dinner and ruminates over Sassoon's disappearance. Nobody has seen the lieutenant since he skipped his board hearing and the psychologist worries that Sassoon might have gone to London to make another anti-war statement. Dr. Rivers speculates that with the mounting death tolls, the War Office will be particularly sensitive to criticism and would likely have Sassoon declared insane if he renews his protest. Meanwhile, another doctor at the table speaks insensitively about poor women and procreation. Sassoon finally returns to Craiglockhart, acting like a school boy who has skipped class. Dr. Rivers demands an explanation for his behavior, but Sassoon cannot produce a satisfying one. He claims that he was upset for being made to wait and was late for an appointment to have tea with a friend. Eventually, Sassoon admits that he wanted to get a second opinion from another esteemed psychologist in London so that if the War Office attempted to have him declared insane, he would have the opinions of two renowned doctors to support his sanity. Despite this, Sassoon made no effort to get a second opinion after he walked out, he simply went to have tea with his friend. Sassoon speaks about the possibility of reviving his protest against the war, but he also says that he intends to return to France regardless. Dr. Rivers does not understand Sassoon's contradictory position but is grateful that the lieutenant is going to return to the front after all

