Chapter: SCENE II. 

_A street._

  _Enter LUCIO and two _Gentlemen_._

_Lucio._ If the duke, with the other dukes, come not to
composition with the King of Hungary, why then all the
dukes fall upon the king.

_First Gent._ Heaven grant us its peace, but not the
King of Hungary's!                                                   5

_Sec. Gent._ Amen.

_Lucio._ Thou concludest like the sanctimonious pirate,
that went to sea with the Ten Commandments, but scraped
one out of the table.

_Sec. Gent._ 'Thou shalt not steal'?                                10

_Lucio._ Ay, that he razed.

_First Gent._ Why, 'twas a commandment to command
the captain and all the rest from their functions: they put
forth to steal. There's not a soldier of us all, that, in the
thanksgiving before meat, do relish the petition well that          15
prays for peace.

_Sec. Gent._ I never heard any soldier dislike it.

_Lucio._ I believe thee; for I think thou never wast
where grace was said.

_Sec. Gent._ No? a dozen times at least.                            20

_First Gent._ What, in metre?

_Lucio._ In any proportion or in any language.

_First Gent._ I think, or in any religion.

_Lucio._ Ay, why not? Grace is grace, despite of all
controversy: as, for example, thou thyself art a wicked             25
villain, despite of all grace.

_First Gent._ Well, there went but a pair of shears between
us.

_Lucio._ I grant; as there may between the lists and the
velvet. Thou art the list.                                          30

_First Gent._ And thou the velvet: thou art good velvet;
thou'rt a three-piled piece, I warrant thee: I had as lief
be a list of an English kersey, as be piled, as thou art
piled, for a French velvet. Do I speak feelingly now?

_Lucio._ I think thou dost; and, indeed, with most painful          35
feeling of thy speech: I will, out of thine own confession,
learn to begin thy health; but, whilst I live, forget to
drink after thee.

_First Gent._ I think I have done myself wrong, have
I not?                                                              40

_Sec. Gent._ Yes, that thou hast, whether thou art tainted
or free.

_Lucio._ Behold, behold, where Madam Mitigation
comes! I have purchased as many diseases under her roof
as come to--                                                        45

_Sec. Gent._ To what, I pray?

_Lucio._ Judge.

_Sec. Gent._ To three thousand dolours a year.

_First Gent._ Ay, and more.

_Lucio._ A French crown more.                                       50

_First Gent._ Thou art always figuring diseases in me;
but thou art full of error; I am sound.

_Lucio._ Nay, not as one would say, healthy; but so
sound as things that are hollow: thy bones are hollow;
impiety has made a feast of thee.                                   55

  _Enter MISTRESS OVERDONE._

_First Gent._ How now! which of your hips has the
most profound sciatica?

_Mrs Ov._ Well, well; there's one yonder arrested and
carried to prison was worth five thousand of you all.

_Sec. Gent._ Who's that, I pray thee?                               60

_Mrs Ov._ Marry, sir, that's Claudio, Signior Claudio.

_First Gent._ Claudio to prison? 'tis not so.

_Mrs Ov._ Nay, but I know 'tis so: I saw him arrested;
saw him carried away; and, which is more, within these
three days his head to be chopped off.                              65

_Lucio._ But, after all this fooling, I would not have it
so. Art thou sure of this?

_Mrs Ov._ I am too sure of it: and it is for getting
Madam Julietta with child.

_Lucio._ Believe me, this may be: he promised to meet               70
me two hours since, and he was ever precise in promise-keeping.

_Sec. Gent._ Besides, you know, it draws something near
to the speech we had to such a purpose.

_First Gent._ But, most of all, agreeing with the proclamation.     75

_Lucio._ Away! let's go learn the truth of it.

    [_Exeunt Lucio and Gentlemen._

_Mrs Ov._ Thus, what with the war, what with the
sweat, what with the gallows, and what with poverty, I am
custom-shrunk.                                                      80

  _Enter POMPEY._

How now! what's the news with you?

_Pom._ Yonder man is carried to prison.

_Mrs Ov._ Well; what has he done?

_Pom._ A woman.

_Mrs Ov._ But what's his offence?                                   85

_Pom._ Groping for trouts in a peculiar river.

_Mrs Ov._ What, is there a maid with child by him?

_Pom._ No, but there's a woman with maid by him.
You have not heard of the proclamation, have you?

_Mrs Ov._ What proclamation, man?                                   90

_Pom._ All houses in the suburbs of Vienna must be
plucked down.

_Mrs Ov._ And what shall become of those in the city?

_Pom._ They shall stand for seed: they had gone down
too, but that a wise burgher put in for them.                       95

_Mrs Ov._ But shall all our houses of resort in the suburbs
be pulled down?

_Pom._ To the ground, mistress.

_Mrs Ov._ Why, here's a change indeed in the commonwealth!
What shall become of me?                                           100

_Pom._ Come; fear not you: good counsellors lack no
clients: though you change your place, you need not
change your trade; I'll be your tapster still. Courage!
there will be pity taken on you: you that have worn your
eyes almost out in the service, you will be considered.            105

_Mrs Ov._ What's to do here, Thomas tapster? let's
withdraw.

_Pom._ Here comes Signior Claudio, led by the provost
to prison; and there's Madam Juliet.    [_Exeunt._

  _Enter PROVOST, CLAUDIO, JULIET, and _Officers_._

_Claud._ Fellow, why dost thou show me thus to the world?          110
Bear me to prison, where I am committed.

_Prov._ I do it not in evil disposition,
But from Lord Angelo by special charge.

_Claud._ Thus can the demigod Authority
Make us pay down for our offence by weight                         115
The words of heaven;--on whom it will, it will;
On whom it will not, so; yet still 'tis just.

  _Re-enter LUCIO and two _Gentlemen_._

_Lucio._ Why, how now, Claudio! whence comes this restraint?

_Claud._ From too much liberty, my Lucio, liberty:
As surfeit is the father of much fast,                             120
So every scope by the immoderate use
Turns to restraint. Our natures do pursue,
Like rats that ravin down their proper bane,
A thirsty evil; and when we drink we die.

_Lucio._ If I could speak so wisely under an arrest, I             125
would send for certain of my creditors: and yet, to say the
truth, I had as lief have the foppery of freedom as the
morality of imprisonment. What's thy offence, Claudio?

_Claud._ What but to speak of would offend again.

_Lucio._ What, is't murder?                                        130

_Claud._ No.

_Lucio._ Lechery?

_Claud._ Call it so.

_Prov._ Away, sir! you must go.

_Claud._ One word, good friend. Lucio, a word with you.            135

_Lucio._ A hundred, if they'll do you any good.
Is lechery so look'd after?

_Claud._ Thus stands it with me:--upon a true contract
I got possession of Julietta's bed:
You know the lady; she is fast my wife,                            140
Save that we do the denunciation lack
Of outward order: this we came not to,
Only for propagation of a dower
Remaining in the coffer of her friends;
From whom we thought it meet to hide our love                      145
Till time had made them for us. But it chances
The stealth of our most mutual entertainment
With character too gross is writ on Juliet.

_Lucio._ With child, perhaps?

_Claud._                    Unhappily, even so.
And the new Deputy now for the Duke,--                             150
Whether it be the fault and glimpse of newness,
Or whether that the body public be
A horse whereon the governor doth ride,
Who, newly in the seat, that it may know
He can command, lets it straight feel the spur;                    155
Whether the tyranny be in his place,
Or in his eminence that fills it up.
I stagger in:--but this new governor
Awakes me all the enrolled penalties
Which have, like unscour'd armour, hung by the wall
So long, that nineteen zodiacs have gone round,
And none of them been worn; and, for a name,
Now puts the drowsy and neglected act
Freshly on me: 'tis surely for a name.

_Lucio._ I warrant it is: and thy head stands so tickle            165
on thy shoulders, that a milkmaid, if she be in love, may
sigh it off. Send after the duke, and appeal to him.

_Claud._ I have done so, but he's not to be found.
I prithee, Lucio, do me this kind service:
This day my sister should the cloister enter                       170
And there receive her approbation:
Acquaint her with the danger of my state;
Implore her, in my voice, that she make friends
To the strict deputy; bid herself assay him:
I have great hope in that; for in her youth                        175
There is a prone and speechless dialect,
Such as move men; beside, she hath prosperous art
When she will play with reason and discourse,
And well she can persuade.

_Lucio._ I pray she may; as well for the encouragement             180
of the like, which else would stand under grievous imposition,
as for the enjoying of thy life, who I would be sorry
should be thus foolishly lost at a game of tick-tack. I'll
to her.

_Claud._ I thank you, good friend Lucio.                           185

_Lucio._ Within two hours.

_Claud._                 Come, officer, away!

    [_Exeunt._


  NOTES: I, 2.

  SCENE II.] SCENE III. Pope.
  12: First Gent. _Why, 'twas_] 1. Gent. _Why? 'twas_ Ff.
    First Gent. _Why?_ Luc. _'Twas_ Singer.
  15: _before_] _after_ Hanmer. See note (II).
  _do_] _doth_ Hanmer. _does_ Warburton.
  22-26: Lucio. _In any proportion ... language._ First Gent. _I think
    ... religion._ Lucio. _Ay, why not?... all grace._] Lucio. _Not in
    any profession ... language, I ... religion._ 2. Gent. _And why
    not?... controversy._ Lucio. _As for ... all grace._ Hanmer.
    See note (III).
  29: _lists_] _list_ Anon. conj.
  42: Here Ff have _Enter Bawde_, transferred by Theobald to line 56.
  43: SCENE IV. Pope. Bawd coming at a distance. Hanmer.
  44: _I have_] 1. Gent. _I have_ Pope (ed. 2). _He has_ Halliwell.
  48: _dolours_] Rowe. _dollours_ Ff. _dollars_ Pope.
  56: SCENE IV. Johnson.
  65: _head_] _head is_ Rowe. _head's_ Capell.
  81: SCENE V. Pope.
  88: _with maid_] _with-made_ Seymour conj.
  91: _houses_] _bawdy houses_ Tyrwhitt conj.
  96: _all_] om. Pope.
  110: SCAENA TERTIA. Ff.
  Juliet] Ff. Gaoler. Halliwell. om. Collier MS. See note (IV).

    [Transcriber's Note:
    Pope's Scene I.VI is not mentioned, but presumably begins here.]

  113: _Lord_] om. F2 F3 F4.
  115: _offence_] _offence'_ (for _offences_) S. Walker conj.
  115, 116: _by weight The words_] Ff. _by weight; I' th' words_ Hanmer.
    _by weight. The words_ Warburton (after Davenant).
    _by weight--The sword_ Roberts conj. _by weight The word_ Halliwell.
    _by weight.--The word's_ Becket conj. _by weight--The works_
    Jackson conj. See note (V).
  117: _yet still 'tis just_] _yet 'tis just still_ S. Walker conj.
  121: _every scope_] _liberty_ Wheeler MS.
  124: _A thirsty evil_] _An evil thirst_ Davenant's version.
    _A thirsted evil_ Spedding conj.
  128: _morality_] Rowe (after Davenant). _mortality_ Ff.
  141: _denunciation_] _pronunciation_ Collier MS.
  143: _propagation_] F2 F3 F4. _propogation_ F1. _prorogation_
    Malone conj. _procuration_ Jackson conj. _preservation_ Grant White.
  147: _most_] om. Hanmer.
  148: _on_] F1. _in_ F2 F3 F4.
  151: _fault and_] _flash and_ Johnson conj. _foult or_ Id. conj.
    _foil and_ Anon. conj. _fault and_] _flash and_ Johnson conj.
    _fault or_ Id. conj. _foil and_ Anon. conj.
  _glimpse_] _guise_ Anon. conj.
  161: _nineteen_] _fourteen_ Whalley conj.
  165: _it is_] _so it is_ Hanmer (who prints line 165-167 as four
    verses ending _stands, milkmaid, off, him._
  166: _she be_] _she be but_ Hanmer.
  173: _voice_] _name_ Wheler MS.
  175: _youth_] _zenith_ Johnson conj.
  176: _prone_] _prompt_ Johnson conj. _pow'r_ Id. conj. _proue_
    Becket conj.
  177: _move_] Ff. _moves_ Rowe.
  _beside_] _besides_ Capell.
  181: _under_] F1. _upon_ F2 F3 F4. _on_ Hanmer, who prints 179-185
    as six verses ending _may, like, imposition, be, tick-tack, Lucio._
  _imposition_] _inquisition_ Johnson conj. (withdrawn).
  182: _the enjoying of_] om. Hanmer.
  _who I would_] _which I'd_ Hanmer.
  184: _her_] _her strait_ Hanmer.

 In a public place in Vienna, Lucio and two Gentlemen talk about world politics and religion while trading light hearted insults about which one of them may or may not have syphilis. Mistress Overdone, the local bawd enters and Lucio says something like "Speaking of STDs, I've certainly paid for my share of venereal diseases at Mistress Overdone's business establishment." As more STD jokes ensue, Mistress Overdone spots a prisoner being paraded through the streets. She recognizes Claudio and brags how she saw him get arrested and knows for a fact that he's going to be sentenced to death within three days. Overdone explains that Claudio's been busted for getting Juliet pregnant. Lucio and the Gentlemen run off to find out all the dirt. Mistress Overdone complains that business at the brothel is slow, what with "the war," the bubonic plague, the lousy economy, and the rate at which her clients are being thrown in jail and all. There just aren't enough customers anymore. Pompey enters and announces there's more bad news for Mistress Overdone: Angelo has ordered that all the brothels in the suburbs of Vienna be torn down. We interrupt this program for a brain snack: In Shakespeare's England, most of the brothels were located in the "suburbs" because it was harder for the authorities to regulate them outside the city limits. In April of 1604, King James I ordered all the tenements and houses in the suburbs be torn down to prevent the spread of the plague, which killed 36,000 people in 1603 . When Overdone gets upset, Pompey tells her to calm down - she can always hire an attorney and, plus, she can move her business somewhere else and her clients will follow. Pompey makes a dirty joke about Mistress Overdone's many years of devoted "service" in the sex industry and tells her to cheer up. Overdone and Pompey exit and the scene shifts to a conversation between Claudio and the Provost . Claudio whines about being taken to prison and publicly humiliated. The provost says he's just doing his job. If Claudio wants to blame someone, he should blame Angelo, who's in charge while the Duke's away. Lucio arrives and asks what's up. Claudio says he's been arrested because he's a kind of glutton. He then goes on to compare having sex to drinking rat poison. Both activities, says Claudio, lead to death. Once again, Lucio asks why Claudio has been arrested. Did Claudio murder someone, or what? Claudio says he went to bed with Juliet and explains why: "she is fast my wife, / Save that we do the denunciation lack / Of outward order" Brain Snack: What the heck does this mean? Well, some literary critics think that Claudio and Juliet have made a marriage contract but haven't had a religious ceremony to seal the deal. In seventeenth-century England, a marriage contract was considered legal under common law if the bride and groom got together in front of witnesses and said "I marry you." The circumstances of Claudio's Juliet are a little fuzzy here so we're not sure if it was actually legal. It also seems like Shakespeare made this issue unclear on purpose. Now, back to the play. Claudio adds that they haven't yet had made a public announcement because they were waiting for Juliet's relatives to cough up a dowry. History Snack: A dowry is the money, goods, and/or land that a woman brings to the marriage. It becomes her husband's property once the couple is married. Lucio correctly guesses that Juliet is pregnant. Claudio explains how it's illegal to fornicate in Vienna, but, for the past several years, the Duke has never enforced this law. Claudio suggests that Angelo is just flexing his muscles because he's the new guy in charge. Lucio suggests petitioning the Duke but Claudio explains that the guy is nowhere to be found. Claudio sends Lucio find his, Claudio's sister, at the nunnery. She's about to become a "novice" . Claudio wants her to plead with Angelo on his behalf. If anyone can make Angelo change his mind, it's Claudio's virginal sister.

