Chapter: SCENE V.

_The same. A street._

  _Enter SPEED and LAUNCE severally._

_Speed._ Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Padua!

_Launce._ Forswear not thyself, sweet youth; for I am not
welcome. I reckon this always--that a man is never undone
till he be hanged; nor never welcome to a place till
some certain shot be paid, and the hostess say 'Welcome!'            5

_Speed._ Come on, you madcap, I'll to the alehouse with
you presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou shalt
have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how did thy
master part with Madam Julia?

_Launce._ Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted          10
very fairly in jest.

_Speed._ But shall she marry him?

_Launce._ No.

_Speed._ How, then? shall he marry her?

_Launce._ No, neither.                                              15

_Speed._ What, are they broken?

_Launce._ No, they are both as whole as a fish.

_Speed._ Why, then, how stands the matter with them?

_Launce._ Marry, thus; when it stands well with him, it
stands well with her.                                               20

_Speed._ What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.

_Launce._ What a block art thou, that thou canst not!
My staff understands me.

_Speed._ What thou sayest?

_Launce._ Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I'll but                25
lean, and my staff understands me.

_Speed._ It stands under thee, indeed.

_Launce._ Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.

_Speed._ But tell me true, will't be a match?

_Launce._ Ask my dog: if he say ay, it will; if he say,             30
no, it will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.

_Speed._ The conclusion is, then, that it will.

_Launce._ Thou shalt never get such a secret from me
but by a parable.

_Speed._ 'Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how               35
sayest thou, that my master is become a notable lover?

_Launce._ I never knew him otherwise.

_Speed._ Than how?

_Launce._ A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.

_Speed._ Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistakest me.                 40

_Launce._ Why fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy master.

_Speed._ I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.

_Launce._ Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn
himself in love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse;
if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name           45
of a Christian.

_Speed._ Why?

_Launce._ Because thou hast not so much charity in thee
as to go to the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?

_Speed._ At thy service.    [_Exeunt._                              50



  Notes: II, 5.

  SCENE V.] SCENA QUINTA F1. SCENA QUARTA F2 F3 F4. SCENE VIII. Pope.
  1: _Padua_] Ff. _Milan_ Pope. See note (VII).
  4: _be_] _is_ Rowe.
  21-28: Put in the margin as spurious by Pope.
  36: _that_] F2 F3 F4. _that that_ F1.
  44: _in love. If thou wilt, go_] Knight. _in love. If thou wilt go_
    Ff. _in love, if thou wilt go_ Collier (Malone conj.).
  _alehouse_] F1. _alehouse, so_ F2 F3 F4.
  49: _ale_] _ale-house_ Rowe.


SCENE VI.

_The same. The DUKE'S palace._

  _Enter PROTEUS._

_Pro._ To leave my Julia, shall I be forsworn;
To love fair Silvia, shall I be forsworn;
To wrong my friend, I shall be much forsworn;
And even that power, which gave me first my oath,
Provokes me to this threefold perjury;                               5
Love bade me swear, and Love bids me forswear.
O sweet-suggesting Love, if thou hast sinn'd,
Teach me, thy tempted subject, to excuse it!
At first I did adore a twinkling star,
But now I worship a celestial sun.                                  10
Unheedful vows may needfully be broken;
And he wants wit that wants resolved will
To learn his wit to exchange the bad for better.
Fie, fie, unreverend tongue! to call her bad,
Whose sovereignty so oft thou hast preferr'd                        15
With twenty thousand soul-confirming oaths.
I cannot leave to love, and yet I do;
But there I leave to love where I should love.
Julia I lose, and Valentine I lose:
If I keep them, I needs must lose myself;                           20
If I lose them, thus find I by their loss
For Valentine, myself, for Julia, Silvia.
I to myself am dearer than a friend,
For love is still most precious in itself;
And Silvia--witness Heaven, that made her fair!--                   25
Shows Julia but a swarthy Ethiope.
I will forget that Julia is alive,
Remembering that my love to her is dead;
And Valentine I'll hold an enemy,
Aiming at Silvia as a sweeter friend.                               30
I cannot now prove constant to myself,
Without some treachery used to Valentine.
This night he meaneth with a corded ladder
To climb celestial Silvia's chamber-window;
Myself in counsel, his competitor.                                  35
Now presently I'll give her father notice
Of their disguising and pretended flight;
Who, all enraged, will banish Valentine;
For Thurio, he intends, shall wed his daughter;
But, Valentine being gone, I'll quickly cross                       40
By some sly trick blunt Thurio's dull proceeding.
Love, lend me wings to make my purpose swift,
As thou hast lent me wit to plot this drift!    [_Exit._



  Notes: II, 6.

  SCENE VI.] SCENE IX. Pope.
  Enter PROTEUS.] Enter PROTHEUS solus. Ff.
  1, 2: _forsworn; ... forsworn;_] Theobald. _forsworn? ... forsworn?_
    Ff.
  7: _sweet-suggesting_] _sweet suggestion,_ Pope.
  _if thou hast_] _if I have_ Warburton.
  16: _soul-confirming_] _soul-confirmed_ Pope.
  21: _thus_] _this_ Theobald.
  _by_] F1. _but_ F2 F3 F4.
  24: _most_] _more_ Steevens.
  _in_] _to_ Collier MS.
  35: _counsel_] _counsaile_ F1 F2. _councel_ F3. _council_ F4.
  37: _pretended_] _intended_ Johnson conj.
  43: _this_] F1. _his_ F2 F3 F4.

 Speed welcomes Launce to Padua. Speed inquires "how did thy master part with Madam Julia?" The two then bandy the topic about in the customary lewd fashion for "low" characters: Launce: Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it stands well with her, But the gist of Launce's remarks affirms that Proteus and Julia are virtually married. Scene six consists of a forty-three-line monologue in which Proteus resolves to betray Julia and Valentine in pursuit of Silvia. To start, he will inform Silvia's father that the couple is planning to elope: "All enraged, he will banish Valentine." After that, outwitting Thurio should be no problem.

