Chapter: SCENE III

  MARIANE, DORINE


  DORINE
  Say, have you lost the tongue from out your head?
  And must I speak your role from A to Zed?
  You let them broach a project that's absurd,
  And don't oppose it with a single word!

  MARIANE
  What can I do? My father is the master.

  DORINE
  Do? Everything, to ward off such disaster.

  MARIANE
  But what?

  DORINE
  Tell him one doesn't love by proxy;
  Tell him you'll marry for yourself, not him;
  Since you're the one for whom the thing is done,
  You are the one, not he, the man must please;
  If his Tartuffe has charmed him so, why let him
  Just marry him himself--no one will hinder.

  MARIANE
  A father's rights are such, it seems to me,
  That I could never dare to say a word.

  DORINE
  Came, talk it out. Valere has asked your hand:
  Now do you love him, pray, or do you not?

  MARIANE
  Dorine! How can you wrong my love so much,
  And ask me such a question? Have I not
  A hundred times laid bare my heart to you?
  Do you know how ardently I love him?

  DORINE
  How do I know if heart and words agree,
  And if in honest truth you really love him?

  MARIANE
  Dorine, you wrong me greatly if you doubt it;
  I've shown my inmost feelings, all too plainly.

  DORINE
  So then, you love him?

  MARIANE
  Yes, devotedly.

  DORINE
  And he returns your love, apparently?

  MARIANE
  I think so.

  DORINE
  And you both alike are eager
  To be well married to each other?

  MARIANE
  Surely.

  DORINE
  Then what's your plan about this other match?

  MARIANE
  To kill myself, if it is forced upon me.

  DORINE
  Good! That's a remedy I hadn't thought of.
  Just die, and everything will be all right.
  This medicine is marvellous, indeed!
  It drives me mad to hear folk talk such nonsense.

  MARIANE
  Oh dear, Dorine you get in such a temper!
  You have no sympathy for people's troubles.

  DORINE
  I have no sympathy when folk talk nonsense,
  And flatten out as you do, at a pinch.

  MARIANE
  But what can you expect?--if one is timid?--

  DORINE
  But what is love worth, if it has no courage?

  MARIANE
  Am I not constant in my love for him?
  Is't not his place to win me from my father?

  DORINE
  But if your father is a crazy fool,
  And quite bewitched with his Tartuffe? And breaks
  His bounden word? Is that your lover's fault?

  MARIANE
  But shall I publicly refuse and scorn
  This match, and make it plain that I'm in love?
  Shall I cast off for him, whate'er he be,
  Womanly modesty and filial duty?
  You ask me to display my love in public ... ?

  DORINE
  No, no, I ask you nothing. You shall be
  Mister Tartuffe's; why, now I think of it,
  I should be wrong to turn you from this marriage.
  What cause can I have to oppose your wishes?
  So fine a match! An excellent good match!
  Mister Tartuffe! Oh ho! No mean proposal!
  Mister Tartuffe, sure, take it all in all,
  Is not a man to sneeze at--oh, by no means!
  'Tis no small luck to be his happy spouse.
  The whole world joins to sing his praise already;
  He's noble--in his parish; handsome too;
  Red ears and high complexion--oh, my lud!
  You'll be too happy, sure, with him for husband.

  MARIANE
  Oh dear! ...

  DORINE
  What joy and pride will fill your heart
  To be the bride of such a handsome fellow!

  MARIANE
  Oh, stop, I beg you; try to find some way
  To help break off the match. I quite give in,
  I'm ready to do anything you say.

  DORINE
  No, no, a daughter must obey her father,
  Though he should want to make her wed a monkey.
  Besides, your fate is fine. What could be better!
  You'll take the stage-coach to his little village,
  And find it full of uncles and of cousins,
  Whose conversation will delight you. Then
  You'll be presented in their best society.
  You'll even go to call, by way of welcome,
  On Mrs. Bailiff, Mrs. Tax-Collector,
  Who'll patronise you with a folding-stool.
  There, once a year, at carnival, you'll have
  Perhaps--a ball; with orchestra--two bag-pipes;
  And sometimes a trained ape, and Punch and Judy;
  Though if your husband ...

  MARIANE
  Oh, you'll kill me. Please
  Contrive to help me out with your advice.

  DORINE
  I thank you kindly.

  MARIANE
  Oh! Dorine, I beg you ...

  DORINE
  To serve you right, this marriage must go through.

  MARIANE
  Dear girl!

  DORINE
  No.

  MARIANE
  If I say I love Valere ...

  DORINE
  No, no. Tartuffe's your man, and you shall taste him.

  MARIANE
  You know I've always trusted you; now help me ...

  DORINE
  No, you shall be, my faith! Tartuffified.

  MARIANE
  Well, then, since you've no pity for my fate
  Let me take counsel only of despair;
  It will advise and help and give me courage;
  There's one sure cure, I know, for all my troubles.

  (She starts to go.)

  DORINE
  There, there! Come back. I can't be angry long.
  I must take pity on you, after all.

  MARIANE
  Oh, don't you see, Dorine, if I must bear
  This martyrdom, I certainly shall die.

  DORINE
  Now don't you fret. We'll surely find some way.
  To hinder this ... But here's Valere, your lover.

 Dorine criticizes Mariane for not taking a stand against her father. Mariane doesn't really have a good answer. She's just used to doing what she's told; she's done it for so long. Dorine puts her on the spot. Do you love Valere, she asks, or don't you? Mariane is insulted for a bit, but then she tells Dorine how much she loves, really loves Valere, She says she would rather kill herself than marry Tartuffe. Dorine thinks this is just about the stupidest solution to the problem she can think of. She has no sympathy for that kind hopelessness. She tells Mariane to buck up. When Mariane agonizes over disobeying her father, Dorine mocks her, telling her how great a husband Tartuffe will make for her, how much fun she'll have visiting her awful in-laws, etc. This is too much for Mariane to take; she falls into despair again. This time, Dorine takes pity on her, and the two set about making a plan.

