Chapter: Actus Quintus. Scene 1.

Enter Leonato and his brother.

  Brother. If you goe on thus, you will kill your selfe,
And 'tis not wisedome thus to second griefe,
Against your selfe

   Leon. I pray thee cease thy counsaile,
Which falls into mine eares as profitlesse,
As water in a siue: giue not me counsaile,
Nor let no comfort delight mine eare,
But such a one whose wrongs doth sute with mine.
Bring me a father that so lou'd his childe,
Whose ioy of her is ouer-whelmed like mine,
And bid him speake of patience,
Measure his woe the length and bredth of mine,
And let it answere euery straine for straine,
As thus for thus, and such a griefe for such,
In euery lineament, branch, shape, and forme:
If such a one will smile and stroke his beard,
And sorrow, wagge, crie hem, when he should grone,
Patch griefe with prouerbs, make misfortune drunke,
With candle-wasters: bring him yet to me,
And I of him will gather patience:
But there is no such man, for brother, men
Can counsaile, and speake comfort to that griefe,
Which they themselues not feele, but tasting it,
Their counsaile turnes to passion, which before,
Would giue preceptiall medicine to rage,
Fetter strong madnesse in a silken thred,
Charme ache with ayre, and agony with words,
No, no, 'tis all mens office, to speake patience
To those that wring vnder the load of sorrow:
But no mans vertue nor sufficiencie
To be so morall, when he shall endure
The like himselfe: therefore giue me no counsaile,
My griefs cry lowder then aduertisement

   Broth. Therein do men from children nothing differ

   Leonato. I pray thee peace, I will be flesh and bloud,
For there was neuer yet Philosopher,
That could endure the tooth-ake patiently,
How euer they haue writ the stile of gods,
And made a push at chance and sufferance

   Brother. Yet bend not all the harme vpon your selfe,
Make those that doe offend you, suffer too

   Leon. There thou speak'st reason, nay I will doe so,
My soule doth tell me, Hero is belied,
And that shall Claudio know, so shall the Prince,
And all of them that thus dishonour her.
Enter Prince and Claudio.

  Brot. Here comes the Prince and Claudio hastily

   Prin. Good den, good den

   Clau. Good day to both of you

   Leon. Heare you my Lords?
  Prin. We haue some haste Leonato

   Leo. Some haste my Lord! wel, fareyouwel my Lord,
Are you so hasty now? well, all is one

   Prin. Nay, do not quarrel with vs, good old man

   Brot. If he could rite himselfe with quarrelling,
Some of vs would lie low

   Claud. Who wrongs him?
  Leon. Marry y dost wrong me, thou dissembler, thou:
Nay, neuer lay thy hand vpon thy sword,
I feare thee not

   Claud. Marry beshrew my hand,
If it should giue your age such cause of feare,
Infaith my hand meant nothing to my sword

   Leonato. Tush, tush, man, neuer fleere and iest at me,
I speake not like a dotard, nor a foole,
As vnder priuiledge of age to bragge,
What I haue done being yong, or what would doe,
Were I not old, know Claudio to thy head,
Thou hast so wrong'd my innocent childe and me,
That I am forc'd to lay my reuerence by,
And with grey haires and bruise of many daies,
Doe challenge thee to triall of a man,
I say thou hast belied mine innocent childe.
Thy slander hath gone through and through her heart,
And she lies buried with her ancestors:
O in a tombe where neuer scandall slept,
Saue this of hers, fram'd by thy villanie

   Claud. My villany?
  Leonato. Thine Claudio, thine I say

   Prin. You say not right old man

   Leon. My Lord, my Lord,
Ile proue it on his body if he dare,
Despight his nice fence, and his actiue practise,
His Maie of youth, and bloome of lustihood

   Claud. Away, I will not haue to do with you

   Leo. Canst thou so daffe me? thou hast kild my child,
If thou kilst me, boy, thou shalt kill a man

   Bro. He shall kill two of vs, and men indeed,
But that's no matter, let him kill one first:
Win me and weare me, let him answere me,
Come follow me boy, come sir boy, come follow me
Sir boy, ile whip you from your foyning fence,
Nay, as I am a gentleman, I will

   Leon. Brother

   Brot. Content your self, God knows I lou'd my neece,
And she is dead, slander'd to death by villaines,
That dare as well answer a man indeede,
As I dare take a serpent by the tongue.
Boyes, apes, braggarts, Iackes, milke-sops

   Leon. Brother Anthony

   Brot. Hold you content, what man? I know them, yea
And what they weigh, euen to the vtmost scruple,
Scambling, out-facing, fashion-monging boyes,
That lye, and cog, and flout, depraue, and slander,
Goe antiquely, and show outward hidiousnesse,
And speake of halfe a dozen dang'rous words,
How they might hurt their enemies, if they durst.
And this is all

   Leon. But brother Anthonie

   Ant. Come, 'tis no matter,
Do not you meddle, let me deale in this

   Pri. Gentlemen both, we will not wake your patience
My heart is sorry for your daughters death:
But on my honour she was charg'd with nothing
But what was true, and very full of proofe

   Leon. My Lord, my Lord

   Prin. I will not heare you.
Enter Benedicke.

  Leo. No come brother, away, I will be heard.

Exeunt. ambo.

  Bro. And shall, or some of vs will smart for it

   Prin. See, see, here comes the man we went to seeke

   Clau. Now signior, what newes?
  Ben. Good day my Lord

   Prin. Welcome signior, you are almost come to part
almost a fray

   Clau. Wee had likt to haue had our two noses snapt
off with two old men without teeth

   Prin. Leonato and his brother, what think'st thou? had
wee fought, I doubt we should haue beene too yong for
them

   Ben. In a false quarrell there is no true valour, I came
to seeke you both

   Clau. We haue beene vp and downe to seeke thee, for
we are high proofe melancholly, and would faine haue it
beaten away, wilt thou vse thy wit?
  Ben. It is in my scabberd, shall I draw it?
  Prin. Doest thou weare thy wit by thy side?
  Clau. Neuer any did so, though verie many haue been
beside their wit, I will bid thee drawe, as we do the minstrels,
draw to pleasure vs

   Prin. As I am an honest man he lookes pale, art thou
sicke, or angrie?
  Clau. What, courage man: what though care kil'd a
cat, thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill care

   Ben. Sir, I shall meete your wit in the careere, and
you charge it against me, I pray you chuse another subiect

   Clau. Nay then giue him another staffe, this last was
broke crosse

   Prin. By this light, he changes more and more, I thinke
he be angrie indeede

   Clau. If he be, he knowes how to turne his girdle

   Ben. Shall I speake a word in your eare?
  Clau. God blesse me from a challenge

   Ben. You are a villaine, I iest not, I will make it good
how you dare, with what you dare, and when you dare:
do me right, or I will protest your cowardise: you haue
kill'd a sweete Ladie, and her death shall fall heauie on
you, let me heare from you

   Clau. Well, I will meete you, so I may haue good
cheare

   Prin. What, a feast, a feast?
  Clau. I faith I thanke him, he hath bid me to a calues
head and a Capon, the which if I doe not carue most curiously,
say my knife's naught, shall I not finde a woodcocke
too?
  Ben. Sir, your wit ambles well, it goes easily

   Prin. Ile tell thee how Beatrice prais'd thy wit the other
day: I said thou hadst a fine wit: true saies she, a fine
little one: no said I, a great wit: right saies shee, a great
grosse one: nay said I, a good wit: iust said she, it hurts
no body: nay said I, the gentleman is wise: certaine said
she, a wise gentleman: nay said I, he hath the tongues:
that I beleeue said shee, for hee swore a thing to me on
munday night, which he forswore on tuesday morning:
there's a double tongue, there's two tongues: thus did
shee an howre together trans-shape thy particular vertues,
yet at last she concluded with a sigh, thou wast the
proprest man in Italie

   Claud. For the which she wept heartily, and said shee
car'd not

   Prin. Yea that she did, but yet for all that, and if shee
did not hate him deadlie, shee would loue him dearely,
the old mans daughter told vs all

   Clau. All, all, and moreouer, God saw him when he
was hid in the garden

   Prin. But when shall we set the sauage Bulls hornes
on the sensible Benedicks head?
  Clau. Yea and text vnderneath, heere dwells Benedicke
the married man

   Ben. Fare you well, Boy, you know my minde, I will
leaue you now to your gossep-like humor, you breake
iests as braggards do their blades, which God be thanked
hurt not: my Lord, for your manie courtesies I thank
you, I must discontinue your companie, your brother
the Bastard is fled from Messina: you haue among you,
kill'd a sweet and innocent Ladie: for my Lord Lackebeard
there, he and I shall meete, and till then peace be
with him

   Prin. He is in earnest

   Clau. In most profound earnest, and Ile warrant you,
for the loue of Beatrice

   Prin. And hath challeng'd thee

   Clau. Most sincerely

   Prin. What a prettie thing man is, when he goes in his
doublet and hose, and leaues off his wit.
Enter Constable, Conrade, and Borachio.

  Clau. He is then a Giant to an Ape, but then is an Ape
a Doctor to such a man

   Prin. But soft you, let me be, plucke vp my heart, and
be sad, did he not say my brother was fled?
  Const. Come you sir, if iustice cannot tame you, shee
shall nere weigh more reasons in her ballance, nay, and
you be a cursing hypocrite once, you must be lookt to

   Prin. How now, two of my brothers men bound? Borachio
one

   Clau. Harken after their offence my Lord

   Prin. Officers, what offence haue these men done?
  Const. Marrie sir, they haue committed false report,
moreouer they haue spoken vntruths, secondarily they
are slanders, sixt and lastly, they haue belyed a Ladie,
thirdly, they haue verified vniust things, and to conclude
they are lying knaues

   Prin. First I aske thee what they haue done, thirdlie
I aske thee what's their offence, sixt and lastlie why they
are committed, and to conclude, what you lay to their
charge

   Clau. Rightlie reasoned, and in his owne diuision, and
by my troth there's one meaning well suted

   Prin. Who haue you offended masters, that you are
thus bound to your answer? this learned Constable is too
cunning to be vnderstood, what's your offence?
  Bor. Sweete Prince, let me go no farther to mine answere:
do you heare me, and let this Count kill mee: I
haue deceiued euen your verie eies: what your wisedomes
could not discouer, these shallow fooles haue
brought to light, who in the night ouerheard me confessing
to this man, how Don Iohn your brother incensed
me to slander the Ladie Hero, how you were brought
into the Orchard, and saw me court Margaret in Heroes
garments, how you disgrac'd her when you should
marrie her: my villanie they haue vpon record, which
I had rather seale with my death, then repeate ouer to
my shame: the Ladie is dead vpon mine and my masters
false accusation: and briefelie, I desire nothing but the
reward of a villaine

   Prin. Runs not this speech like yron through your
bloud?
  Clau. I haue drunke poison whiles he vtter'd it

   Prin. But did my Brother set thee on to this?
  Bor. Yea, and paid me richly for the practise of it

   Prin. He is compos'd and fram'd of treacherie,
And fled he is vpon this villanie

   Clau. Sweet Hero, now thy image doth appeare
In the rare semblance that I lou'd it first

   Const. Come, bring away the plaintiffes, by this time
our Sexton hath reformed Signior Leonato of the matter:
and masters, do not forget to specifie when time & place
shall serue, that I am an Asse

   Con.2. Here, here comes master Signior Leonato, and
the Sexton too.
Enter Leonato.

  Leon. Which is the villaine? let me see his eies,
That when I note another man like him,
I may auoide him: which of these is he?
  Bor. If you would know your wronger, looke on me

   Leon. Art thou the slaue that with thy breath
hast kild mine innocent childe?
  Bor. Yea, euen I alone

   Leo. No, not so villaine, thou beliest thy selfe,
Here stand a paire of honourable men,
A third is fled that had a hand in it:
I thanke you Princes for my daughters death,
Record it with your high and worthie deedes,
'Twas brauely done, if you bethinke you of it

   Clau. I know not how to pray your patience,
Yet I must speake, choose your reuenge your selfe,
Impose me to what penance your inuention
Can lay vpon my sinne, yet sinn'd I not,
But in mistaking

   Prin. By my soule nor I,
And yet to satisfie this good old man,
I would bend vnder anie heauie waight,
That heele enioyne me to

   Leon. I cannot bid you bid my daughter liue,
That were impossible, but I praie you both,
Possesse the people in Messina here,
How innocent she died, and if your loue
Can labour aught in sad inuention,
Hang her an epitaph vpon her toomb,
And sing it to her bones, sing it to night:
To morrow morning come you to my house,
And since you could not be my sonne in law,
Be yet my Nephew: my brother hath a daughter,
Almost the copie of my childe that's dead,
And she alone is heire to both of vs,
Giue her the right you should haue giu'n her cosin,
And so dies my reuenge

   Clau. O noble sir!
Your ouerkindnesse doth wring teares from me,
I do embrace your offer, and dispose
For henceforth of poore Claudio

   Leon. To morrow then I will expect your comming,
To night I take my leaue, this naughtie man
Shall face to face be brought to Margaret,
Who I beleeue was packt in all this wrong,
Hired to it by your brother

   Bor. No, by my soule she was not,
Nor knew not what she did when she spoke to me,
But alwaies hath bin iust and vertuous,
In anie thing that I do know by her

   Const. Moreouer sir, which indeede is not vnder white
and black, this plaintiffe here, the offendour did call mee
asse, I beseech you let it be remembred in his punishment,
and also the watch heard them talke of one Deformed,
they say he weares a key in his eare and a lock hanging
by it, and borrowes monie in Gods name, the which
he hath vs'd so long, and neuer paied, that now men grow
hard-harted and will lend nothing for Gods sake: praie
you examine him vpon that point

   Leon. I thanke thee for thy care and honest paines

   Const. Your worship speakes like a most thankefull
and reuerend youth, and I praise God for you

   Leon. There's for thy paines

   Const. God saue the foundation

   Leon. Goe, I discharge thee of thy prisoner, and I
thanke thee

   Const. I leaue an arrant knaue with your worship,
which I beseech your worship to correct your selfe, for
the example of others: God keepe your worship, I
wish your worship well, God restore you to health,
I humblie giue you leaue to depart, and if a merrie
meeting may be wisht, God prohibite it: come
neighbour

   Leon. Vntill to morrow morning, Lords, farewell.

Exeunt.

  Brot. Farewell my Lords, we looke for you to morrow

   Prin. We will not faile

   Clau. To night ile mourne with Hero

   Leon. Bring you these fellowes on, weel talke with
Margaret, How her acquaintance grew with this lewd
fellow.

Exeunt.

 At Justice Shallow's country estate in Gloucestershire, Bardolph and Falstaff have dropped by to make a house call to Falstaff's old law school chum. When the scene opens, Justice Shallow is being a good host and insists that Falstaff spend the night instead of travelling on to London. Falstaff does the "aw shucks" routine and pretends he doesn't want to impose. When Shallow's servant, Davy, enters with some papers, Shallow does a little multitasking. He attends to some household issues, like giving orders for the preparation of dinner, while Davy pesters him about some local legal issues involving some of his friends. Davy asks Justice Shallow if he would please take it easy on his friend, William Visor, who has gotten into a bit of legal trouble. Shallow reassures his servant that his friend will be okay and sends him on his way. Shallow says that Falstaff, Bardolph, and the Page are all welcome in his home and leads the group inside. Justice Silence, who has been silent this whole time, tags along. Falstaff lingers alone on stage for a moment - just long enough to mock Justice Shallow for being a "foolish justice." Shallow is way too nice to his servants and acts just like them. Falstaff can't wait to tell Prince Hal all about the silly old goat - the stories will keep Hal rolling with laughter for a good long time. Falstaff runs inside when Shallow calls to him.

