Chapter: ACT II. SCENE I.

_A hall in ANGELO'S house._




  _Enter ANGELO, ESCALUS, and a _Justice, Provost, Officers_,
    and other _Attendants_, behind._

_Ang._ We must not make a scarecrow of the law,
Setting it up to fear the birds of prey,
And let it keep one shape, till custom make it
Their perch, and not their terror.

_Escal._                         Ay, but yet
Let us be keen, and rather cut a little,                             5
Than fall, and bruise to death. Alas, this gentleman,
Whom I would save, had a most noble father!
Let but your honour know,
Whom I believe to be most strait in virtue,
That, in the working of your own affections,                        10
Had time cohered with place or place with wishing,
Or that the resolute acting of your blood
Could have attain'd the effect of your own purpose,
Whether you had not sometime in your life
Err'd in this point which now you censure him,                      15
And pull'd the law upon you.

_Ang._ 'Tis one thing to be tempted, Escalus,
Another thing to fall. I not deny,
The jury, passing on the prisoner's life,
May in the sworn twelve have a thief or two                         20
Guiltier than him they try. What's open made to justice,
That justice seizes: what know the laws
That theives do pass on thieves? 'Tis very pregnant,
The jewel that we find, we stoop and take't,
Because we see it; but what we do not see                           25
We tread upon, and never think of it.
You may not so extenuate his offence
For I have had such faults; but rather tell me,
When I, that censure him, do so offend,
Let mine own judgement pattern out my death,                        30
And nothing come in partial. Sir, he must die.

_Escal._ Be it as your wisdom will.

_Ang._                            Where is the provost?

_Prov._ Here, if it like your honour.

_Ang._                              See that Claudio
Be executed by nine to-morrow morning:
Bring him his confessor, let him be prepared;                       35
For that's the utmost of his pilgrimage.    [_Exit Provost._

_Escal._ [_Aside_] Well, heaven forgive him! and forgive us all!
Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall:
Some run from brakes of ice, and answer none;
And some condemned for a fault alone.                               40

  _Enter ELBOW, and _Officers_ with FROTH and POMPEY._

_Elb._ Come, bring them away: if these be good people
in a commonweal that do nothing but use their abuses in
common houses, I know no law: bring them away.

_Ang._ How now, sir! What's your name? and what's
the matter?                                                         45

_Elb._ If it please your honour, I am the poor Duke's
constable, and my name is Elbow: I do lean upon justice,
sir, and do bring in here before your good honour two notorious
benefactors.

_Ang._ Benefactors? Well; what benefactors are they?                50
are they not malefactors?

_Elb._ If it please your honour, I know not well what
they are: but precise villains they are, that I am sure of;
and void of all profanation in the world that good Christians
ought to have.                                                      55

_Escal._ This comes off well; here's a wise officer.

_Ang._ Go to: what quality are they of? Elbow is
your name? why dost thou not speak, Elbow?

_Pom._ He cannot, sir; he's out at elbow.

_Ang._ What are you, sir?                                           60

_Elb._ He, sir! a tapster, sir; parcel-bawd; one that
serves a bad woman; whose house, sir, was, as they say,
plucked down in the suburbs; and now she professes a hot-house,
which, I think, is a very ill house too.

_Escal._ How know you that?                                         65

_Elb._ My wife, sir, whom I detest before heaven and
your honour,--

_Escal._ How? thy wife?

_Elb._ Ay, sir;--whom, I thank heaven, is an honest
woman,--                                                            70

_Escal._ Dost thou detest her therefore?

_Elb._ I say, sir, I will detest myself also, as well as she,
that this house, if it be not a bawd's house, it is pity of her
life, for it is a naughty house.

_Escal._ How dost thou know that, constable?                        75

_Elb._ Marry, sir, by my wife; who, if she had been a
woman cardinally given, might have been accused in fornication,
adultery, and all uncleanliness there.

_Escal._ By the woman's means?

_Elb._ Ay, sir, by Mistress Overdone's means: but as she            80
spit in his face, so she defied him.

_Pom._ Sir, if it please your honour, this is not so.

_Elb._ Prove it before these varlets here, thou honourable
man; prove it.

_Escal._ Do you hear how he misplaces?                              85

_Pom._ Sir, she came in great with child; and longing,
saving your honour's reverence, for stewed prunes; sir, we
had but two in the house, which at that very distant time
stood, as it were, in a fruit-dish, a dish of some three-pence;
your honours have seen such dishes; they are not China              90
dishes, but very good dishes,--

_Escal._ Go to, go to: no matter for the dish, sir.

_Pom._ No, indeed, sir, not of a pin; you are therein in
the right: but to the point. As I say, this Mistress Elbow,
being, as I say, with child, and being great-bellied, and           95
longing, as I said, for prunes; and having but two in the
dish, as I said, Master Froth here, this very man, having
eaten the rest, as I said, and, as I say, paying for them
very honestly; for, as you know, Master Froth, I could not
give you three-pence again.                                        100

_Froth._ No, indeed.

_Pom._ Very well;--you being then, if you be remembered,
cracking the stones of the foresaid prunes,--

_Froth._ Ay, so I did indeed.

_Pom._ Why, very well; I telling you then, if you be remembered,   105
that such a one and such a one were past cure
of the thing you wot of, unless they kept very good diet, as
I told you,--

_Froth._ All this is true.

_Pom._ Why, very well, then,--                                     110

_Escal._ Come, you are a tedious fool: to the purpose.
What was done to Elbow's wife, that he hath cause to complain
of? Come me to what was done to her.

_Pom._ Sir, your honour cannot come to that yet.

_Escal._ No, sir, nor I mean it not.                               115

_Pom._ Sir, but you shall come to it, by your honour's
leave. And, I beseech you, look into Master Froth here,
sir; a man of fourscore pound a year; whose father died at
Hallowmas:--was't not at Hallowmas, Master Froth?--

_Froth._ All-hallond eve.                                          120

_Pom._ Why, very well; I hope here be truths. He, sir,
sitting, as I say, in a lower chair, sir; 'twas in the Bunch of
Grapes, where, indeed, you have a delight to sit, have you
not?

_Froth._ I have so; because it is an open room, and                125
good for winter.

_Pom._ Why, very well, then; I hope here be truths.

_Ang._ This will last out a night in Russia,
When nights are longest there: I'll take my leave,
And leave you to the hearing of the cause;                         130
Hoping you'll find good cause to whip them all.

_Escal._ I think no less. Good morrow to your lordship.

    [_Exit Angelo._

Now, sir, come on: what was done to Elbow's wife, once
more?

_Pom._ Once, sir? there was nothing done to her once.              135

_Elb._ I beseech you, sir, ask him what this man did
to my wife.

_Pom._ I beseech your honour, ask me.

_Escal._ Well, sir; what did this gentleman to her?

_Pom._ I beseech you, sir, look in this gentleman's face.          140
Good Master Froth, look upon his honour; 'tis for a good
purpose. Doth your honour mark his face?

_Escal._ Ay, sir, very well.

_Pom._ Nay, I beseech you, mark it well.

_Escal._ Well, I do so.                                            145

_Pom._ Doth your honour see any harm in his face?

_Escal._ Why, no.

_Pom._ I'll be supposed upon a book, his face is the
worst thing about him. Good, then; if his face be the worst
thing about him, how could Master Froth do the constable's         150
wife any harm? I would know that of your honour.

_Escal._ He's in the right. Constable, what say you to it?

_Elb._ First, an it like you, the house is a respected
house; next, this is a respected fellow; and his mistress is
a respected woman.                                                 155

_Pom._ By this hand, sir, his wife is a more respected
person than any of us all.

_Elb._ Varlet, thou liest; thou liest, wicked varlet! the
time is yet to come that she was ever respected with
man, woman, or child.                                              160

_Pom._ Sir, she was respected with him before he married
with her.

_Escal._ Which is the wiser here? Justice or Iniquity?
Is this true?

_Elb._ O thou caitiff! O thou varlet! O thou wicked                165
Hannibal! I respected with her before I was married to
her! If ever I was respected with her, or she with me, let
not your worship think me the poor duke's officer. Prove
this, thou wicked Hannibal, or I'll have mine action of battery
on thee.                                                           170

_Escal._ If he took you a box o' th' ear, you might have
your action of slander too.

_Elb._ Marry, I thank your good worship for it. What
is't your worship's pleasure I shall do with this wicked
caitiff?                                                           175

_Escal._ Truly, officer, because he hath some offences in
him that thou wouldst discover if thou couldst, let him continue
in his courses till thou knowest what they are.

_Elb._ Marry, I thank your worship for it. Thou seest,
thou wicked varlet, now, what's come upon thee: thou art           180
to continue now, thou varlet; thou art to continue.

_Escal._ Where were you born, friend?

_Froth._ Here in Vienna, sir.

_Escal._ Are you of fourscore pounds a year?

_Froth._ Yes, an't please you, sir.                                185

_Escal._ So. What trade are you of, sir?

_Pom._ A tapster; a poor widow's tapster.

_Escal._ Your mistress' name?

_Pom._ Mistress Overdone.

_Escal._ Hath she had any more than one husband?                   190

_Pom._ Nine, sir; Overdone by the last.

_Escal._ Nine! Come hither to me, Master Froth.
Master Froth, I would not have you acquainted with tapsters:
they will draw you, Master Froth, and you will hang
them. Get you gone, and let me hear no more of you.                195

_Froth._ I thank your worship. For mine own part, I
never come into any room in a taphouse, but I am drawn in.

_Escal._ Well, no more of it, Master Froth: farewell.
[_Exit Froth._] Come you hither to me, Master tapster.
What's your name, Master tapster?                                  200

_Pom._ Pompey.

_Escal._ What else?

_Pom._ Bum, sir.

_Escal._ Troth, and your bum is the greatest thing about
you; so that, in the beastliest sense, you are Pompey the          205
Great. Pompey, you are partly a bawd, Pompey, howsoever
you colour it in being a tapster, are you not? come,
tell me true: it shall be the better for you.

_Pom._ Truly, sir, I am a poor fellow that would live.

_Escal._ How would you live, Pompey? by being a                    210
bawd? What do you think of the trade, Pompey? is it a
lawful trade?

_Pom._ If the law would allow it, sir.

_Escal._ But the law will not allow it, Pompey; nor it
shall not be allowed in Vienna.                                    215

_Pom._ Does your worship mean to geld and splay all
the youth of the city?

_Escal._ No, Pompey.

_Pom._ Truly, sir, in my poor opinion, they will to't,
then. If your worship will take order for the drabs and            220
the knaves, you need not to fear the bawds.

_Escal._ There are pretty orders beginning, I can tell
you: it is but heading and hanging.

_Pom._ If you head and hang all that offend that way
but for ten year together,
        you'll be glad to give out a commission                    225
for more heads: if this law hold in Vienna ten year,
I'll rent the fairest house in it after three-pence a bay: if
you live to see this come to pass, say Pompey told you so.

_Escal._ Thank you, good Pompey; and, in requital of
your prophecy, hark you: I advise you, let me not find             230
you before me again upon any complaint whatsoever; no,
not for dwelling where you do: if I do, Pompey, I shall
beat you to your tent, and prove a shrewd Caesar to you;
in plain dealing, Pompey, I shall have you whipt: so, for
this time, Pompey, fare you well.                                  235

_Pom._ I thank your worship for your good counsel:
[_Aside_] but I shall follow it as the flesh and fortune shall
better determine.

Whip me? No, no; let carman whip his jade:
The valiant heart is not whipt out of his trade.    [_Exit._       240

_Escal._ Come hither to me, Master Elbow; come hither,
Master constable. How long have you been in this place
of constable?

_Elb._ Seven year and a half, sir.

_Escal._ I thought, by your readiness in the office, you had       245
continued in it some time. You say, seven years together?

_Elb._ And a half, sir.

_Escal._ Alas, it hath been great pains to you. They
do you wrong to put you so oft upon't: are there not men
in your ward sufficient to serve it?                               250

_Elb._ Faith, sir, few of any wit in such matters: as
they are chosen, they are glad to choose me for them; I
do it for some piece of money, and go through with all.

_Escal._ Look you bring me in the names of some six
or seven, the most sufficient of your parish.                      255

_Elb._ To your worship's house, sir?

_Escal._ To my house. Fare you well. [_Exit Elbow._
What's o'clock, think you?

_Just._ Eleven, sir.

_Escal._ I pray you home to dinner with me.                        260

_Just._ I humbly thank you.

_Escal._ It grieves me for the death of Claudio;
But there's no remedy.

_Just._ Lord Angelo is severe.

_Escal._                     It is but needful:
Mercy is not itself, that oft looks so;                            265
Pardon is still the nurse of second woe:
But yet,--poor Claudio! There is no remedy.
Come, sir.    [_Exeunt._


  NOTES: II, 1.

  6: _fall_] _fell_ Warburton conj.
  8, 9, 10: _Let ... That, in the_] _Let ... whom I believe To ...
    whether in The_ Hanmer. _Let ... whom I believe To ... virtue,
    and consider This, in the_ Capell.
  12: _your_] Rowe (after Davenant) _our_ Ff.
  15: _which now you censure him_] _you censure now in him_ Hanmer.
    _which now you censure him for_ Capell.
    _where now you censure him_ Grant White.
  19: _the_] _a_ Collier MS.
  22: _justice seizes_] _justice ceizes_ Ff. _justice seizes on_ Pope.
    _it seizes on_ Hanmer.
  _know_] Pope. _knowes_ F1 F2. _knows_ F3 F4.
  23: _very_] om. Hanmer, ending lines 21, 22, 23 at _made--
    seizes on-- pregnant._
  31: _Sir_] om. Pope.
  31: After this line Ff have 'Enter Provost.'
  36: [Exit Provost] Rowe. om. Ff.
  37: [Aside] S. Walker conj.
  38: This line is printed by Ff in italics.
  39: _from brakes of ice, and_] _through brakes of vice and_ Rowe.
    _from brakes of vice, and_ Malone. _from brakes of justice,_ Capell.
    _from breaks of ice, and_ Collier.
    _from brakes, off ice and_ Knight conj.
  41: SCENE II. Pope.
  57: _they_] _you_ Rowe.
  78: _uncleanliness_] F1. _uncleanness_ F2 F3 F4.
  79: _the_] _that_ Hanmer.
  85: [To Ange. Capell.
  87: _sir_] om. F4.
  88: _distant_] F1. _instant_ F2 F3 F4.
  96: _but two_] F1. _no more_ F2 F3 F4.
  107: _very_] om. Pope.
  113: _me_] om. Pope. _we_ Grant White.
  115: _nor_] om. Pope.
  117: _into_] _unto_ Collier MS.
  120: _All-hallond_] _All-holland_ Pope.
  122: _chair, sir_] _chamber, sir_ Capell conj. _chamber_ Anon. conj.
  126: _winter_] _windows_ Collier MS.
  132: SCENE III. Pope.
  186: _you_] _ye_ F4.
  194: _hang_] _hang on_ Heath conj.
  198: SCENE IV. Pope.
  207: _in_] F1. om. F2 F3 F4.
  214: _nor_] _and_ Pope.
  216: _splay_] _spay_ Steevens.
  221: _the knaves_] F1. _knaves_ F2 F3 F4.
  222: _are_ F2 F3 F4. _is_ F1.
  225: _year_] Ff. _years_ Rowe.
  226: _year_] F1 _years_ F2 F3 F4.
  227: _bay_] _day_ Pope.
  234: _Pompey_] om. F4.
  237: [Aside] Staunton.
  241: SCENE V. Pope.
  245: _your_] Pope. _the_ Ff.
  260: _home_] F1. _go home_ F2 F3 F4.
  267: _There is_] _There's_ Pope.

 At the courthouse, Angelo and Escalus have gathered to discuss Claudio's case. Angelo insists that they not "make a scarecrow out of the law." Escalus agrees that Claudio should be punished, but he doesn't see any reason to put Claudio to death--that won't really solve anything. Plus, says Escalus, Claudio comes from a good family. Escalus wonders if Angelo has ever committed the same crime for which he is now punishing Claudius. In other words, has Angelo ever had sex outside of marriage? Angelo says "'Tis one thing to be tempted, Escalus, Another thing to fall." Angelo also admits that there's probably a criminal or two on Claudius's jury, but that's not really a good enough reason to let Claudius get off scot-free. Angelo also says "When I that censure him do so offend, / Let mine own judgment pattern out my death, / And nothing come in partial. Sir, he must die" Translation: The day I commit the same crime as the man I judge and punish is the day I should be punished in the exact same way." Escalus doesn't put up any more of a fight. When the Provost enters, Angelo gives him order to execute Claudius by 9 a.m. the following morning. Escalus says, "well, heaven forgive him, and forgive us all!" Since things are getting a little heavy in this play, Shakespeare trots out Elbow who has just arrested Froth and Pompey. Angelo asks Pompey "what are you sir?" and Elbow tells him that Pompey is a bar-tender and part-time pimp at Mistress Overdone's brothel, which was recently torn down. Since then, Mistress Overdone has opened a new brothel but is calling it a day spa. Escalus asks Elbow how he knows so much about this and Elbow says that his wife told him so. Apparently, Elbow's wife went there for a sauna and Pompey mistook her for a prostitute. Naturally, Elbow's wife spit in his face to prove otherwise. Pompey denies everything and says it was all a big misunderstanding. Pompey proceeds to tell a story about how Elbow's pregnant wife entered Mistress Overdone's establishment because she was craving some "stewed prunes." Midway through the story, Angelo gets bored and leaves Escalus to deal with Elbow's complaint. Elbow and Pompey bicker and Elbow slings a bunch of insults that don't carry much weight because he mixes up his words a lot. Froth fesses up that he works for Mistress Overdone and Escalus lets him off with a warning. Then Escalus lays into Pompey for earning a living as a pimp, which is against the law in Vienna. Pompey sarcastically asks if Escalus plans to "spay all the youth in the city." Escalus says "no" and Pompey replies that there's no other way for Escalus to regulate sex in Vienna--he'll have to hang or behead just about every man in town. Escalus sets Pompey free and warns that if he ever catches Pompey pimping again, he'll whoop up on him just like Julius Caesar throttled Pompey the Great in 48 BC. As he exits, Pompey mumbles that nobody can stop him. Escalus and the Justice stand around talking about poor Claudio. Escalus is pretty upset that Claudio is going to be put to death. It just doesn't seem right and he thinks Angelo is being way too harsh.

