Chapter: Before TIMON'S house

Enter FLAVIUS, TIMON'S Steward, with many bills in his hand

  FLAVIUS. No care, no stop! So senseless of expense
    That he will neither know how to maintain it
    Nor cease his flow of riot; takes no account
    How things go from him, nor resumes no care
    Of what is to continue. Never mind
    Was to be so unwise to be so kind.
    What shall be done? He will not hear till feel.
    I must be round with him. Now he comes from hunting.
    Fie, fie, fie, fie!

       Enter CAPHIS, and the SERVANTS Of ISIDORE and VARRO

  CAPHIS. Good even, Varro. What, you come for money?
  VARRO'S SERVANT. Is't not your business too?
  CAPHIS. It is. And yours too, Isidore?
  ISIDORE'S SERVANT. It is so.
  CAPHIS. Would we were all discharg'd!
  VARRO'S SERVANT. I fear it.
  CAPHIS. Here comes the lord.

            Enter TIMON and his train, with ALCIBIADES

  TIMON. So soon as dinner's done we'll forth again,
    My Alcibiades.- With me? What is your will?
  CAPHIS. My lord, here is a note of certain dues.
  TIMON. Dues! Whence are you?
  CAPHIS. Of Athens here, my lord.
  TIMON. Go to my steward.
  CAPHIS. Please it your lordship, he hath put me off
    To the succession of new days this month.
    My master is awak'd by great occasion
    To call upon his own, and humbly prays you
    That with your other noble parts you'll suit
    In giving him his right.
  TIMON. Mine honest friend,
    I prithee but repair to me next morning.
  CAPHIS. Nay, good my lord-
  TIMON. Contain thyself, good friend.
  VARRO'S SERVANT. One Varro's servant, my good lord-
  ISIDORE'S SERVANT. From Isidore: he humbly prays your speedy
    payment-
  CAPHIS. If you did know, my lord, my master's wants-
  VARRO'S SERVANT. 'Twas due on forfeiture, my lord, six weeks
and
    past.
  ISIDORE'S SERVANT. Your steward puts me off, my lord; and
    I am sent expressly to your lordship.
  TIMON. Give me breath.
    I do beseech you, good my lords, keep on;
    I'll wait upon you instantly.
                                     Exeunt ALCIBIADES and LORDS
    [To FLAVIUS] Come hither. Pray you,
    How goes the world that I am thus encount'red
    With clamorous demands of date-broke bonds
    And the detention of long-since-due debts,
    Against my honour?
  FLAVIUS. Please you, gentlemen,
    The time is unagreeable to this business.
    Your importunacy cease till after dinner,
    That I may make his lordship understand
    Wherefore you are not paid.
  TIMON. Do so, my friends.
    See them well entertain'd.                              Exit
  FLAVIUS. Pray draw near.                                  Exit

                      Enter APEMANTUS and FOOL

  CAPHIS. Stay, stay, here comes the fool with Apemantus.
    Let's ha' some sport with 'em.
  VARRO'S SERVANT. Hang him, he'll abuse us!
  ISIDORE'S SERVANT. A plague upon him, dog!
  VARRO'S SERVANT. How dost, fool?
  APEMANTUS. Dost dialogue with thy shadow?
  VARRO'S SERVANT. I speak not to thee.
  APEMANTUS. No, 'tis to thyself. [To the FOOL] Come away.
  ISIDORE'S SERVANT. [To VARRO'S SERVANT] There's the fool hangs
on
    your back already.
  APEMANTUS. No, thou stand'st single; th'art not on him yet.
  CAPHIS. Where's the fool now?
  APEMANTUS. He last ask'd the question. Poor rogues and usurers'
    men! Bawds between gold and want!
  ALL SERVANTS. What are we, Apemantus?
  APEMANTUS. Asses.
  ALL SERVANTS. Why?
  APEMANTUS. That you ask me what you are, and do not know
    yourselves. Speak to 'em, fool.
  FOOL. How do you, gentlemen?
  ALL SERVANTS. Gramercies, good fool. How does your mistress?
  FOOL. She's e'en setting on water to scald such chickens as you
    are. Would we could see you at Corinth!
  APEMANTUS. Good! gramercy.

                           Enter PAGE

  FOOL. Look you, here comes my mistress' page.
  PAGE. [To the FOOL] Why, how now, Captain? What do you in this
wise
    company? How dost thou, Apemantus?
  APEMANTUS. Would I had a rod in my mouth, that I might answer
thee
    profitably!
  PAGE. Prithee, Apemantus, read me the superscription of these
    letters; I know not which is which.
  APEMANTUS. Canst not read?
  PAGE. No.
  APEMANTUS. There will little learning die, then, that day thou
art
    hang'd. This is to Lord Timon; this to Alcibiades. Go; thou
wast
    born a bastard, and thou't die a bawd.
  PAGE. Thou wast whelp'd a dog, and thou shalt famish dog's
death.
    Answer not: I am gone.                             Exit PAGE
  APEMANTUS. E'en so thou outrun'st grace.
    Fool, I will go with you to Lord Timon's.
  FOOL. Will you leave me there?
  APEMANTUS. If Timon stay at home. You three serve three
usurers?
  ALL SERVANTS. Ay; would they serv'd us!
  APEMANTUS. So would I- as good a trick as ever hangman serv'd
    thief.
  FOOL. Are you three usurers' men?
  ALL SERVANTS. Ay, fool.
  FOOL. I think no usurer but has a fool to his servant. My
mistress
    is one, and I am her fool. When men come to borrow of your
    masters, they approach sadly and go away merry; but they
enter my
    mistress' house merrily and go away sadly. The reason of
this?
  VARRO'S SERVANT. I could render one.
  APEMANTUS. Do it then, that we may account thee a whoremaster
and a
    knave; which notwithstanding, thou shalt be no less esteemed.
  VARRO'S SERVANT. What is a whoremaster, fool?
  FOOL. A fool in good clothes, and something like thee. 'Tis a
    spirit. Sometime 't appears like a lord; sometime like a
lawyer;
    sometime like a philosopher, with two stones moe than's
    artificial one. He is very often like a knight; and,
generally,
    in all shapes that man goes up and down in from fourscore to
    thirteen, this spirit walks in.
  VARRO'S SERVANT. Thou art not altogether a fool.
  FOOL. Nor thou altogether a wise man.
    As much foolery as I have, so much wit thou lack'st.
  APEMANTUS. That answer might have become Apemantus.
  VARRO'S SERVANT. Aside, aside; here comes Lord Timon.

                    Re-enter TIMON and FLAVIUS

  APEMANTUS. Come with me, fool, come.
  FOOL. I do not always follow lover, elder brother, and woman;
    sometime the philosopher.
                                       Exeunt APEMANTUS and FOOL
  FLAVIUS. Pray you walk near; I'll speak with you anon.
                                                 Exeunt SERVANTS
  TIMON. You make me marvel wherefore ere this time
    Had you not fully laid my state before me,
    That I might so have rated my expense
    As I had leave of means.
  FLAVIUS. You would not hear me
    At many leisures I propos'd.
  TIMON. Go to;
    Perchance some single vantages you took
    When my indisposition put you back,
    And that unaptness made your minister
    Thus to excuse yourself.
  FLAVIUS. O my good lord,
    At many times I brought in my accounts,
    Laid them before you; you would throw them off
    And say you found them in mine honesty.
    When, for some trifling present, you have bid me
    Return so much, I have shook my head and wept;
    Yea, 'gainst th' authority of manners, pray'd you
    To hold your hand more close. I did endure
    Not seldom, nor no slight checks, when I have
    Prompted you in the ebb of your estate
    And your great flow of debts. My lov'd lord,
    Though you hear now- too late!- yet now's a time:
    The greatest of your having lacks a half
    To pay your present debts.
  TIMON. Let all my land be sold.
  FLAVIUS. 'Tis all engag'd, some forfeited and gone;
    And what remains will hardly stop the mouth
    Of present dues. The future comes apace;
    What shall defend the interim? And at length
    How goes our reck'ning?
  TIMON. To Lacedaemon did my land extend.
  FLAVIUS. O my good lord, the world is but a word;
    Were it all yours to give it in a breath,
    How quickly were it gone!
  TIMON. You tell me true.
  FLAVIUS. If you suspect my husbandry or falsehood,
    Call me before th' exactest auditors
    And set me on the proof. So the gods bless me,
    When all our offices have been oppress'd
    With riotous feeders, when our vaults have wept
    With drunken spilth of wine, when every room
    Hath blaz'd with lights and bray'd with minstrelsy,
    I have retir'd me to a wasteful cock
    And set mine eyes at flow.
  TIMON. Prithee no more.
  FLAVIUS. 'Heavens,' have I said 'the bounty of this lord!
    How many prodigal bits have slaves and peasants
    This night englutted! Who is not Lord Timon's?
    What heart, head, sword, force, means, but is Lord Timon's?
    Great Timon, noble, worthy, royal Timon!'
    Ah! when the means are gone that buy this praise,
    The breath is gone whereof this praise is made.
    Feast-won, fast-lost; one cloud of winter show'rs,
    These flies are couch'd.
  TIMON. Come, sermon me no further.
    No villainous bounty yet hath pass'd my heart;
    Unwisely, not ignobly, have I given.
    Why dost thou weep? Canst thou the conscience lack
    To think I shall lack friends? Secure thy heart:
    If I would broach the vessels of my love,
    And try the argument of hearts by borrowing,
    Men and men's fortunes could I frankly use
    As I can bid thee speak.
  FLAVIUS. Assurance bless your thoughts!
  TIMON. And, in some sort, these wants of mine are crown'd
    That I account them blessings; for by these
    Shall I try friends. You shall perceive how you
    Mistake my fortunes; I am wealthy in my friends.
    Within there! Flaminius! Servilius!

           Enter FLAMINIUS, SERVILIUS, and another SERVANT

  SERVANTS. My lord! my lord!
  TIMON. I will dispatch you severally- you to Lord Lucius; to
Lord
    Lucullus you; I hunted with his honour to-day. You to
Sempronius.
    Commend me to their loves; and I am proud, say, that my
occasions
    have found time to use 'em toward a supply of money. Let the
    request be fifty talents.
  FLAMINIUS. As you have said, my lord.          Exeunt SERVANTS
  FLAVIUS. [Aside] Lord Lucius and Lucullus? Humh!
  TIMON. Go you, sir, to the senators,
    Of whom, even to the state's best health, I have
    Deserv'd this hearing. Bid 'em send o' th' instant
    A thousand talents to me.
  FLAVIUS. I have been bold,
    For that I knew it the most general way,
    To them to use your signet and your name;
    But they do shake their heads, and I am here
    No richer in return.
  TIMON. Is't true? Can't be?
  FLAVIUS. They answer, in a joint and corporate voice,
    That now they are at fall, want treasure, cannot
    Do what they would, are sorry- you are honourable-
    But yet they could have wish'd- they know not-
    Something hath been amiss- a noble nature
    May catch a wrench- would all were well!- 'tis pity-
    And so, intending other serious matters,
    After distasteful looks, and these hard fractions,
    With certain half-caps and cold-moving nods,
    They froze me into silence.
  TIMON. You gods, reward them!
    Prithee, man, look cheerly. These old fellows
    Have their ingratitude in them hereditary.
    Their blood is cak'd, 'tis cold, it seldom flows;
    'Tis lack of kindly warmth they are not kind;
    And nature, as it grows again toward earth,
    Is fashion'd for the journey dull and heavy.
    Go to Ventidius. Prithee be not sad,
    Thou art true and honest; ingeniously I speak,
    No blame belongs to thee. Ventidius lately
    Buried his father, by whose death he's stepp'd
    Into a great estate. When he was poor,
    Imprison'd, and in scarcity of friends,
    I clear'd him with five talents. Greet him from me,
    Bid him suppose some good necessity
    Touches his friend, which craves to be rememb'red
    With those five talents. That had, give't these fellows
    To whom 'tis instant due. Nev'r speak or think
    That Timon's fortunes 'mong his friends can sink.
  FLAVIUS. I would I could not think it.
    That thought is bounty's foe;
    Being free itself, it thinks all others so.           Exeunt

 When Caphis shows up at Timon's house, he's not the only one ready to cash in. Isidore's and Varro's servants have also come to get Timon to pay his bills. Flavius is worried out of his mind. He knows his master doesn't have the dough to pay these men, but he doesn't want to embarrass him in front of everyone. He and Timon exit to have a little chat. Together, Apemantus and the Fool enter and discuss what's going down. We interrupt this programming for a history snack: a licensed fool is a guy who literally has a license to say whatever he wants without getting into trouble . Paid fools were pretty common in noble households in Shakespeare's day. The Fool is only at Timon's briefly, but he stays long enough to make some comparisons between creditors waiting for money and men waiting for prostitutes. He points out that these men might go away happy, and the men dealing with the "whoremaster" might go away sad, but both are doing the exact same thing: they're taking from people. Timon and Flavius come back on stage and shoo everyone else off so they can be alone. Timon and Flavius talk about what to do. Timon is ticked that Flavius didn't let him in on the situation sooner. Flavius says that's not fair because he really tried; Timon just wouldn't listen. So Timon is left with no option but to sell his lands and give away all his money. But Flavius has even more bad news: all of Timon's stuff is gone, because he's already given it all away to people. Yep, even his house and land has been promised away. Then Timon has a brilliant idea. He'll ask all of his friends to pitch in. After all, he's covered them loads of times. They'll step up for him this time, right? Timon sends servants to ask Lucius, Lucullus, and Sempronius for money, and then tells Flavius to go to the Senators. That's when Flavius drops the bombshell. He already asked everybody for cash. They all just shrugged and said, "Too bad, so sad." Timon can't believe it. No, he really can't believe it: he doesn't even think it's possible. Then he remembers that he just recently cleared his friend Ventidius's name of debt. Surely he will come to Timon's rescue, right? Timon delivers a super important message to Flavius. It goes a little something like: "Don't think that just because I seem poor now that I am. It'll all work out." After Timon exits, Flavius says he wishes he could not think that. Unfortunately, it seems pretty likely that Timon's wealth is a thing of the past.

