Chapter: When spring returned, and I took in the little patch of green the aperture
commanded, I asked myself how many more summers and winters I must be
condemned to spend thus. I longed to draw in a plentiful draught of fresh
air, to stretch my cramped limbs, to have room to stand erect, to feel the
earth under my feet again. My relatives were constantly on the lookout for
a chance of escape; but none offered that seemed practicable, and even
tolerably safe. The hot summer came again, and made the turpentine drop
from the thin roof over my head.

During the long nights I was restless for want of air, and I had no room to
toss and turn. There was but one compensation; the atmosphere was so
stifled that even mosquitos would not condescend to buzz in it. With all my
detestation of Dr. Flint, I could hardly wish him a worse punishment,
either in this world or that which is to come, than to suffer what I
suffered in one single summer. Yet the laws allowed _him_ to be out in the
free air, while I, guiltless of crime, was pent up here, as the only means
of avoiding the cruelties the laws allowed him to inflict upon me! I don't
know what kept life within me. Again and again, I thought I should die
before long; but I saw the leaves of another autumn whirl through the air,
and felt the touch of another winter. In summer the most terrible thunder
storms were acceptable, for the rain came through the roof, and I rolled up
my bed that it might cool the hot boards under it. Later in the season,
storms sometimes wet my clothes through and through, and that was not
comfortable when the air grew chilly. Moderate storms I could keep out by
filling the chinks with oakum.

But uncomfortable as my situation was, I had glimpses of things out of
doors, which made me thankful for my wretched hiding-place. One day I saw a
slave pass our gate, muttering, "It's his own, and he can kill it if he
will." My grandmother told me that woman's history. Her mistress had that
day seen her baby for the first time, and in the lineaments of its fair
face she saw a likeness to her husband. She turned the bondwoman and her
child out of doors, and forbade her ever to return. The slave went to her
master, and told him what had happened. He promised to talk with her
mistress, and make it all right. The next day she and her baby were sold to
a Georgia trader.

Another time I saw a woman rush wildly by, pursued by two men. She was a
slave, the wet nurse of her mistress's children. For some trifling offence
her mistress ordered her to be stripped and whipped. To escape the
degradation and the torture, she rushed to the river, jumped in, and ended
her wrongs in death.

Senator Brown, of Mississippi, could not be ignorant of many such facts as
these, for they are of frequent occurrence in every Southern State. Yet he
stood up in the Congress of the United States, and declared that slavery
was "a great moral, social, and political blessing; a blessing to the
master, and a blessing to the slave!"

I suffered much more during the second winter than I did during the first.
My limbs were benumbed by inaction, and the cold filled them with cramp. I
had a very painful sensation of coldness in my head; even my face and
tongue stiffened, and I lost the power of speech. Of course it was
impossible, under the circumstances, to summon any physician. My brother
William came and did all he could for me. Uncle Phillip also watched
tenderly over me; and poor grandmother crept up and down to inquire whether
there were any signs of returning life. I was restored to consciousness by
the dashing of cold water in my face, and found myself leaning against my
brother's arm, while he bent over me with streaming eyes. He afterwards
told me he thought I was dying, for I had been in an unconscious state
sixteen hours. I next became delirious, and was in great danger of
betraying myself and my friends. To prevent this, they stupefied me with
drugs. I remained in bed six weeks, weary in body and sick at heart. How to
get medical advice was the question. William finally went to a Thompsonian
doctor, and described himself as having all my pains and aches. He returned
with herbs, roots, and ointment. He was especially charged to rub on the
ointment by a fire; but how could a fire be made in my little den? Charcoal
in a furnace was tried, but there was no outlet for the gas, and it nearly
cost me my life. Afterwards coals, already kindled, were brought up in an
iron pan, and placed on bricks. I was so weak, and it was so long since I
had enjoyed the warmth of a fire, that those few coals actually made me
weep. I think the medicines did me some good; but my recovery was very
slow. Dark thoughts passed through my mind as I lay there day after day. I
tried to be thankful for my little cell, dismal as it was, and even to love
it, as part of the price I had paid for the redemption of my children.
Sometimes I thought God was a compassionate Father, who would forgive my
sins for the sake of my sufferings. At other times, it seemed to me there
was no justice or mercy in the divine government. I asked why the curse of
slavery was permitted to exist, and why I had been so persecuted and
wronged from youth upward. These things took the shape of mystery, which is
to this day not so clear to my soul as I trust it will be hereafter.

In the midst of my illness, grandmother broke down under the weight and
anxiety and toil. The idea of losing her, who had always been my best
friend and a mother to my children, was the sorest trial I had yet had. O,
how earnestly I prayed that she might recover! How hard it seemed, that I
could not tend upon her, who had so long and so tenderly watched over me!

One day the screams of a child nerved me with strength to crawl to my
peeping-hole, and I saw my son covered with blood. A fierce dog, usually
kept chained, had seized and bitten him. A doctor was sent for, and I heard
the groans and screams of my child while the wounds were being sewed up. O,
what torture to a mother's heart, to listen to this and be unable to go to
him!

But childhood is like a day in spring, alternately shower and sunshine.
Before night Benny was bright and lively, threatening the destruction of
the dog; and great was his delight when the doctor told him the next day
that the dog had bitten another boy and been shot. Benny recovered from his
wounds; but it was long before he could walk.

When my grandmother's illness became known, many ladies, who were her
customers, called to bring her some little comforts, and to inquire whether
she had every thing she wanted. Aunt Nancy one night asked permission to
watch with her sick mother, and Mrs. Flint replied, "I don't see any need
of your going. I can't spare you." But when she found other ladies in the
neighborhood were so attentive, not wishing to be outdone in Christian
charity, she also sallied forth, in magnificent condescension, and stood by
the bedside of her who had loved her in her infancy, and who had been
repaid by such grievous wrongs. She seemed surprised to find her so ill,
and scolded uncle Phillip for not sending for Dr. Flint. She herself sent
for him immediately, and he came. Secure as I was in my retreat, I should
have been terrified if I had known he was so near me. He pronounced my
grandmother in a very critical situation, and said if her attending
physician wished it, he would visit her. Nobody wished to have him coming
to the house at all hours, and we were not disposed to give him a chance to
make out a long bill.

As Mrs. Flint went out, Sally told her the reason Benny was lame was, that
a dog had bitten him. "I'm glad of it," replied she. "I wish he had killed
him. It would be good news to send to his mother. _Her_ day will come. The
dogs will grab _her_ yet." With these Christian words she and her husband
departed, and, to my great satisfaction, returned no more.

I learned from uncle Phillip, with feelings of unspeakable joy and
gratitude, that the crisis was passed and grandmother would live. I could
now say from my heart, "God is merciful. He has spared me the anguish of
feeling that I caused her death."

 Months pass. Linda freezes in the winter and soaks during the spring. During the second winter, a long illness almost kills her. Her brother William manages to get medicine from a doctor by pretending that her symptoms are his. She also sees her son covered in blood from a dog bite. He's fine, but it's a long time before he can walk. Mrs. Flint shows off her Christian charity by gloating and wishing that Benny had actually died. Meanwhile, Aunt Martha is very sick, too. She recovers, but it's close. This chapter is pretty grim.

