Chapter: SCENE IV

  ORGON, MADAME PERNELLE, ELMIRE, MARIANE, CLEANTE, DAMIS, DORINE,
  MR. LOYAL


  MR. LOYAL (to Dorine, at the back of the stage)
  Good day, good sister. Pray you, let me see
  The master of the house.

  DORINE
  He's occupied;
  I think he can see nobody at present.

  MR. LOYAL
  I'm not by way of being unwelcome here.
  My coming can, I think, nowise displease him;
  My errand will be found to his advantage.

  DORINE
  Your name, then?

  MR. LOYAL
  Tell him simply that his friend
  Mr. Tartuffe has sent me, for his goods ...

  DORINE (to Orgon)
  It is a man who comes, with civil manners,
  Sent by Tartuffe, he says, upon an errand
  That you'll be pleased with.

  CLEANTE (to Orgon)
  Surely you must see him,
  And find out who he is, and what he wants.

  ORGON (to Cleante)
  Perhaps he's come to make it up between us:
  How shall I treat him?

  CLEANTE
  You must not get angry;
  And if he talks of reconciliation
  Accept it.

  MR. LOYAL (to Orgon)
  Sir, good-day. And Heaven send
  Harm to your enemies, favour to you.

  ORGON (aside to Cleante)
  This mild beginning suits with my conjectures
  And promises some compromise already.

  MR. LOYAL
  All of your house has long been dear to me;
  I had the honour, sir, to serve your father.

  ORGON
  Sir, I am much ashamed, and ask your pardon
  For not recalling now your face or name.

  MR. LOYAL
  My name is Loyal. I'm from Normandy.
  My office is court-bailiff, in despite
  Of envy; and for forty years, thank Heaven,
  It's been my fortune to perform that office
  With honour. So I've come, sir, by your leave
  To render service of a certain writ ...

  ORGON
  What, you are here to ...

  MR. LOYAL
  Pray, sir, don't be angry.
  'Tis nothing, sir, but just a little summons:--
  Order to vacate, you and yours, this house,
  Move out your furniture, make room for others,
  And that without delay or putting off,
  As needs must be ...

  ORGON
  I? Leave this house?

  MR. LOYAL
  Yes, please, sir
  The house is now, as you well know, of course,
  Mr. Tartuffe's. And he, beyond dispute,
  Of all your goods is henceforth lord and master
  By virtue of a contract here attached,
  Drawn in due form, and unassailable.

  DAMIS (to Mr. Loyal)
  Your insolence is monstrous, and astounding!

  MR. LOYAL (to Damis)
  I have no business, sir, that touches you;

  (Pointing to Orgon)
  This is the gentleman. He's fair and courteous,
  And knows too well a gentleman's behaviour
  To wish in any wise to question justice.

  ORGON
  But ...

  MR. LOYAL
  Sir, I know you would not for a million
  Wish to rebel; like a good citizen
  You'll let me put in force the court's decree.

  DAMIS
  Your long black gown may well, before you know it,
  Mister Court-bailiff, get a thorough beating.

  MR. LOYAL (to Orgon)
  Sir, make your son be silent or withdraw.
  I should be loath to have to set things down,
  And see your names inscribed in my report.

  DORINE (aside)
  This Mr. Loyal's looks are most disloyal.

  MR. LOYAL
  I have much feeling for respectable
  And honest folk like you, sir, and consented
  To serve these papers, only to oblige you,
  And thus prevent the choice of any other
  Who, less possessed of zeal for you than I am
  Might order matters in less gentle fashion.

  ORGON
  And how could one do worse than order people
  Out of their house?

  MR. LOYAL
  Why, we allow you time;
  And even will suspend until to-morrow
  The execution of the order, sir.
  I'll merely, without scandal, quietly,
  Come here and spend the night, with half a score
  Of officers; and just for form's sake, please,
  You'll bring your keys to me, before retiring.
  I will take care not to disturb your rest,
  And see there's no unseemly conduct here.
  But by to-morrow, and at early morning,
  You must make haste to move your least belongings;
  My men will help you--I have chosen strong ones
  To serve you, sir, in clearing out the house.
  No one could act more generously, I fancy,
  And, since I'm treating you with great indulgence,
  I beg you'll do as well by me, and see
  I'm not disturbed in my discharge of duty.

  ORGON
  I'd give this very minute, and not grudge it,
  The hundred best gold louis I have left,
  If I could just indulge myself, and land
  My fist, for one good square one, on his snout.

  CLEANTE (aside to Orgon)
  Careful!--don't make things worse.

  DAMIS
  Such insolence!
  I hardly can restrain myself. My hands
  Are itching to be at him.

  DORINE
  By my faith,
  With such a fine broad back, good Mr. Loyal,
  A little beating would become you well.

  MR. LOYAL
  My girl, such infamous words are actionable.
  And warrants can be issued against women.

  CLEANTE (to Mr. Loyal)
  Enough of this discussion, sir; have done.
  Give us the paper, and then leave us, pray.

  MR. LOYAL
  Then _au revoir_. Heaven keep you from disaster!

  ORGON
  May Heaven confound you both, you and your master!

 Monsieur Loyal enters. He's looking for the master of the house. As it turns out, Loyal has been sent by Tartuffe. Before going to meet him, Orgon asks Cleante for some advice. Cleante tells him that he just needs to keep a cool head. When Loyal greets Orgon kindly, Orgon takes this as a sign of good will, and hopes Tartuffe is willing to compromise. Instead, Loyal serves him with a writ, a written court document, calling for the eviction of Orgon and Co. from their own home. Orgon can't believe it, so M. Loyal elaborates. The house, he tells Orgon, is now the property of Tartuffe. He produces a deed to prove it. Hotheaded Damis attempts to intervene, but he's talked down by Loyal. Loyal is sure that, with Orgon's compliance, everything will go off without a hitch. He tries to appeal to Orgon, to remind him that he is a wise and "temperate" man, and tells him that he loves "all men of upright character." Orgon appeals to Loyal. Out of the kindness of his heart, Loyal agrees to give Orgon a reprieve...until the next day. Loyal will, he tells Orgon, need to spend the night...and bring a bunch of men to move out stuff...and kick Orgon and everybody else out early in the morning, but he'll do it in the most pleasant way possible. At this point Orgon starts to lose his temper; he's ready to sock Loyal right in the nose. Cleante steps in and tells Orgon to chill. Damis, of course, wants to kick his butt. And Dorine tells Loyal to his face that she'd like to see him whacked with a stick. Loyal warns that he might have to take her in if she continues to act like that. Cleante tells Loyal to give him the paper and leave, which he does. Orgon curses him as he walks out the door.

