Chapter: SCENE IV.


                _A Gallery in_ OLIVIA'S _House_.

        _Enter_ MARIA, _with a black Gown and Hood, and_ CLOWN.

    _Mar._ Nay, I pr'ythee, put on this gown and hood; make him believe,
thou art Sir Topas the curate; do it quickly: I'll call Sir Toby the
whilst.

                                                          [_Exit_ MARIA.

    _Clo._ Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in't; and I
would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown.

                                           _Enter_ SIR TOBY _and_ MARIA.

    _Sir To._ Jove bless thee, master parson.

    _Clo._ _Bonos dies_, Sir Toby: for as the old hermit of Prague, that
never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of King Gorboduc,
_That, that is, is_; so I, being master parson, am master parson: For
what is that, but that? and is, but is?

    _Sir To._ To him, Sir Topas.

    _Clo._ [_Opens the door of an inner Room_] What, hoa, I say,--Peace
in this prison!

    _Sir To._ The knave counterfeits well; a good knave.

    _Mal._ [_In the inner Room._] Who calls there?

    _Clo._ Sir Topas, the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio the
lunatic.

    _Mal._ Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, go to my lady.

    _Clo._ Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man? talkest
thou nothing but of ladies?

    _Sir To._ Well said, master parson.

    _Mal._ Sir Topas, never was man thus wrong'd; good Sir Topas, do not
think I am mad; they have bound me, hand and foot, and laid me here in
hideous darkness.

    _Clo._ Say'st thou, that house is dark?

    _Mal._ As hell, Sir Topas.

    _Clo._ Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness, but
ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled, than the Egyptians in their
fog.

    _Mal._ I say this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance
were as dark as hell; and I say, there was never man thus abused: I am
no more mad than you are; make the trial of it in any constant question.

    _Clo._ What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wild-fowl?

    _Mal._ That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird.

    _Clo._ What thinkest thou of his opinion?

    _Mal._ I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion.

    _Clo._ Fare thee well: Remain thou still in darkness: thou shalt
hold the opinion of Pythagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits; and fear
to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare
thee well.

    _Mal._ Sir Topas, Sir Topas,--

    _Sir To._ My most exquisite Sir Topas,--

    _Clo._ Nay, I am for all waters. [_Takes off the gown and hood, and
gives them to_ MARIA.]

    _Mar._ Thou might'st have done this without thy hood and gown; he
sees thee not.

    _Sir To._ To him in thine own voice, and bring us word how thou
find'st him: Come by and by to my chamber.
                                         [_Exeunt_ SIR TOBY _and_ MARIA.

    _Clo._ [_Sings._] _Hey Robin, jolly Robin,
                          Tell me how thy lady does._

    _Mal._ Fool,--fool,--good fool,--

    _Clo._ Who calls, ha?

    _Mal._ As ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a
candle, and pen, ink, and paper; as I am a gentleman, I will live to be
thankful to thee for't.

    _Clo._ Master Malvolio!

    _Mal_. Ay, good fool.

    _Clo._ Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits?

    _Mal._ Fool, there was never man so notoriously abused: I am as well
in my wits, fool, as thou art.

    _Clo._ But as well! then you are mad, indeed, if you be no better in
your wits than a fool.

    _Mal._ Good fool, some ink, paper, and light, and convey what I will
set down to my lady; it shall advantage thee more than ever the bearing
of letter did.

    _Clo._ I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you not mad,
indeed? or do you but counterfeit?

    _Mal._ Believe me, I am not: I tell thee true.

    _Clo._ Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman, till I see his brains. I
will fetch you light, and paper, and ink.

    _Mal._ Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree. I pr'ythee, be
gone.

    _Clo._ [_Shuts the door of the inner Room, and sings._]
            _I am gone, sir,
            And anon, sir,
        I'll be with you again, &c._                           [_Exit._

 Olivia and Maria are in the garden, and Olivia is making plans to entertain Cesario; she sent him an invitation, and he has promised to come to visit her. She is very excited at the prospect and wonders how to treat him, how to "feast him." She is afraid that he will think that she is trying to "buy" him. Where is Malvolio, she wonders; he is usually grave and polite and can be counted on to calm her nerves. Smiling foolishly, Malvolio enters. His whole appearance has changed since we last saw him; his dark clothes are gone, as is his dour appearance. Maria's forged love note has changed him from being "sad and civil" into being a merrily smiling fabrication of a courtier; he complains a bit about the cross-gartering causing "some obstruction in the blood," but he suffers gladly -- if it will please Olivia. Smiling again and again, he kisses his hand and blows his kisses toward Olivia. She is dumbfounded by his unexplainable, incongruous dress and behavior, but Malvolio doesn't seem to notice. He prances before her, quoting various lines of the letter which he supposes that Olivia wrote to him, and in particular, he dwells on the "greatness" passage. Olivia tries to interrupt what he is saying, but to no avail; he rambles on and on until she is convinced that he must be suffering from "midsummer madness." A servant announces the arrival of Cesario, and Olivia places the "mad" Malvolio in Maria's charge; in fact, she suggests that the whole household staff should look after him. Meanwhile, Malvolio, remembering the orders which Maria inserted into the letter, spurns Maria, is hostile to Sir Toby, and is insulting to Fabian. He finally drives them all to exasperation and fury, and when he leaves, they make plans to lock him up in a dark room, a common solution for handling a lunatic in Elizabethan days. Olivia won't mind, says Sir Toby: "My niece is already in the belief that he's mad." Sir Andrew enters, and he carries a copy of his challenge to Cesario. He is exceedingly proud of the language, which, we discover as Sir Toby reads it aloud, is exceedingly stilted and obtuse and, in short, is exceedingly ridiculous. Sir Andrew's spirits are high, and Maria decides that the time is ripe for more fun: she tells him that Cesario is inside with Olivia. Sir Toby adds that now is the time to corner the lad and as soon as he sees him, he should draw his sword and "swear horrible." According to Sir Toby, "a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply twanged off, gives manhood." Offering his services, Sir Toby says that he will deliver Sir Andrew's challenge "by word of mouth." He is sure that Cesario, clever young man that he is, will instantly see the harmless humor in the absurdly worded challenge; it couldn't possibly "breed . . . terror in the youth." And thus the practical jokers exit -- just as Olivia and Cesario enter. This scene-within-a-scene is very much like ones we have already witnessed: Cesario pleads that his master, Duke Orsino, should be considered a serious suitor, and Olivia changes the subject to Cesario himself, as she gives him a diamond brooch containing a miniature portrait of herself. Cesario accepts it politely and courteously, and Olivia exits. Sir Toby and Fabian enter and stop Cesario before he can leave for Orsino's palace. Sir Toby tells Cesario that Sir Andrew, his "interceptor," is waiting for him and is ready to challenge him to a sword fight. Cesario panics . Sir Toby continues: Sir Andrew is a "devil in a private brawl," for he has killed three men already . Cesario, says Sir Toby, can do only one thing to defend himself against Sir Andrew: "strip your sword stark naked." Such advice is alarming. Cesario begs Sir Toby to seek out this knight and find out what offense he has committed, and so Sir Toby exits, ostensibly to go on his assigned errand, leaving Cesario in the company of Signior, a title Sir Toby impromptly bestowed on Fabian, all in the spirit of their practical joking. These two exit then, just as Sir Toby and Sir Andrew enter. Sir Toby describes in vivid, violent language Cesario's fierceness. Sir Andrew quakes: "I'll not meddle with him"; he is even willing to give Cesario his horse, "grey Capilet," to avoid the duel. Fabian and Cesario return, and Sir Toby taunts both Cesario and Sir Andrew into drawing their swords, all the while assuring them that no real harm will come to either of them. At this point, a true swordsman enters. It is Antonio, and mistaking young Cesario for Sebastian, he tells Sir Andrew to put up his sword unless he wants to fight Antonio. Sir Toby draws his sword and is ready to take on Antonio when a troop of officers enters. Antonio has been recognized on the streets, and Orsino has sent out his men to arrest him. Dejectedly, Antonio turns to Cesario . He asks him for his purse back, and when Cesario naturally denies having ever received it, the sea captain is both saddened and enraged by this apparent ingratitude. He denounces this youth, "this god," whom he "snatched . . . out of the jaws of death . . . sanctity of love." "Sebastian," he tells Cesario, "thou . . . virtue is beauty, but the beauteous-evil / Are empty trunks o'erflourished by the devil." As the officers lead Antonio away, Viola is almost ready to believe what may be possible: Sebastian may be alive! It is possible that this man saved her twin brother, Sebastian, and Antonio may have just now confused her with Sebastian because of her disguise. Breathlessly, she prays that "imagination prove true / That I, dear brother, be now ta'en for you." Viola exits, and unwilling to miss their fun, Sir Toby and Fabian easily convince old Sir Andrew that Cesario is a coward, and the three of them set out after Orsino's page.

