Chapter: SCENE III

  ORGON, ELMIRE, MARIANE, CLEANTE, DORINE


  ORGON
  So ho! I'm glad to find you all together.

  (To Mariane)
  Here is the contract that shall make you happy,
  My dear. You know already what it means.

  MARIANE (on her knees before Orgon)
  Father, I beg you, in the name of Heaven
  That knows my grief, and by whate'er can move you,
  Relax a little your paternal rights,
  And free my love from this obedience!
  Oh, do not make me, by your harsh command,
  Complain to Heaven you ever were my father;
  Do not make wretched this poor life you gave me.
  If, crossing that fond hope which I had formed,
  You'll not permit me to belong to one
  Whom I have dared to love, at least, I beg you
  Upon my knees, oh, save me from the torment
  Of being possessed by one whom I abhor!
  And do not drive me to some desperate act
  By exercising all your rights upon me.

  ORGON (a little touched)
  Come, come, my heart, be firm! no human weakness!

  MARIANE
  I am not jealous of your love for him;
  Display it freely; give him your estate,
  And if that's not enough, add all of mine;
  I willingly agree, and give it up,
  If only you'll not give him me, your daughter;
  Oh, rather let a convent's rigid rule
  Wear out the wretched days that Heaven allots me.

  ORGON
  These girls are ninnies!--always turning nuns
  When fathers thwart their silly love-affairs.
  Get on your feet! The more you hate to have him,
  The more 'twill help you earn your soul's salvation.
  So, mortify your senses by this marriage,
  And don't vex me about it any more.

  DORINE
  But what ... ?

  ORGON
  You hold your tongue, before your betters.
  Don't dare to say a single word, I tell you.

  CLEANTE
  If you will let me answer, and advise ...

  ORGON
  Brother, I value your advice most highly;
  'Tis well thought out; no better can be had;
  But you'll allow me--not to follow it.

  ELMIRE (to her husband)
  I can't find words to cope with such a case;
  Your blindness makes me quite astounded at you.
  You are bewitched with him, to disbelieve
  The things we tell you happened here to-day.

  ORGON
  I am your humble servant, and can see
  Things, when they're plain as noses on folks' faces,
  I know you're partial to my rascal son,
  And didn't dare to disavow the trick
  He tried to play on this poor man; besides,
  You were too calm, to be believed; if that
  Had happened, you'd have been far more disturbed.

  ELMIRE
  And must our honour always rush to arms
  At the mere mention of illicit love?
  Or can we answer no attack upon it
  Except with blazing eyes and lips of scorn?
  For my part, I just laugh away such nonsense;
  I've no desire to make a loud to-do.
  Our virtue should, I think, be gentle-natured;
  Nor can I quite approve those savage prudes
  Whose honour arms itself with teeth and claws
  To tear men's eyes out at the slightest word.
  Heaven preserve me from that kind of honour!
  I like my virtue not to be a vixen,
  And I believe a quiet cold rebuff
  No less effective to repulse a lover.

  ORGON
  I know ... and you can't throw me off the scent.

  ELMIRE
  Once more, I am astounded at your weakness;
  I wonder what your unbelief would answer,
  If I should let you see we've told the truth?

  ORGON
  See it?

  ELMIRE
  Yes.

  ORGON
  Nonsense.

  ELMIRE
  Come! If I should find
  A way to make you see it clear as day?

  ORGON
  All rubbish.

  ELMIRE
  What a man! But answer me.
  I'm not proposing now that you believe us;
  But let's suppose that here, from proper hiding,
  You should be made to see and hear all plainly;
  What would you say then, to your man of virtue?

  ORGON
  Why, then, I'd say ... say nothing. It can't be.

  ELMIRE
  Your error has endured too long already,
  And quite too long you've branded me a liar.
  I must at once, for my own satisfaction,
  Make you a witness of the things we've told you.

  ORGON
  Amen! I take you at your word. We'll see
  What tricks you have, and how you'll keep your promise.

  ELMIRE (to Dorine)
  Send him to me.

  DORINE (to Elmire)
  The man's a crafty codger,
  Perhaps you'll find it difficult to catch him.

  ELMIRE (to Dorine)
  Oh no! A lover's never hard to cheat,
  And self-conceit leads straight to self-deceit.
  Bid him come down to me.

  (To Cleante and Mariane)
  And you, withdraw.

 Orgon comes in and interrupts their brainstorming session before it's even begun. He has the marriage contract in his hand and wants Mariane to sign it. Mariane pleads with her father, asking him not to force the marriage upon her. She tells him that she'll hate her life. The girl says, that if Orgon insists she not marry Valere, the least he could do is not force her to marry Tartuffe. She alludes that if the marriage is forced on her she may take some unspecified "desperate course" . Orgon is moved a bit by her appeal, but he stands firm. Mariane goes on, telling him that he can give Tartuffe his property and, if he wishes, her own inheritance, but that she would rather live in a convent than wed Tartuffe. Orgon acts as though Mariane is just being a silly little girl. Then he drops a real bomb on her: the more you hate your husband, he says, the more virtuous you'll be! Dorine attempts to get a word in, but she's denied. As is Cleante. Elmire steps into the fray and tells Orgon what a gullible dope he is. Orgon accuses her of being "partial" to Damis, implying that the whole thing was a ploy to discredit Tartuffe. If it were the real deal, he says, you should have been angrier. Elmire resents Orgon's claims, and tells him that she prefers to play it cool. She's not a catty prude, she tells him, but a classy broad. When Orgon still won't budge, Elmire tells him that she can show him that she, Damis, and everyone else is telling the truth. Though Orgon resists, Elmire convinces him to at least give her a chance. Elmire tells Dorine to fetch Tartuffe and gets everyone else, save Orgon, to leave the room.

