Chapter: ACT IV. SCENE 1.
Troy. A street

Enter, at one side, AENEAS, and servant with a torch; at another,
PARIS, DEIPHOBUS, ANTENOR, DIOMEDES the Grecian, and others, with
torches

  PARIS. See, ho! Who is that there?
  DEIPHOBUS. It is the Lord Aeneas.
  AENEAS. Is the Prince there in person?
    Had I so good occasion to lie long
    As you, Prince Paris, nothing but heavenly business
    Should rob my bed-mate of my company.
  DIOMEDES. That's my mind too. Good morrow, Lord Aeneas.
  PARIS. A valiant Greek, Aeneas -take his hand:
    Witness the process of your speech, wherein
    You told how Diomed, a whole week by days,
    Did haunt you in the field.
  AENEAS. Health to you, valiant sir,
    During all question of the gentle truce;
    But when I meet you arm'd, as black defiance
    As heart can think or courage execute.
  DIOMEDES. The one and other Diomed embraces.
    Our bloods are now in calm; and so long health!
    But when contention and occasion meet,
    By Jove, I'll play the hunter for thy life
    With all my force, pursuit, and policy.
  AENEAS. And thou shalt hunt a lion, that will fly
    With his face backward. In humane gentleness,
    Welcome to Troy! now, by Anchises' life,
    Welcome indeed! By Venus' hand I swear
    No man alive can love in such a sort
    The thing he means to kill, more excellently.
  DIOMEDES. We sympathise. Jove let Aeneas live,
    If to my sword his fate be not the glory,
    A thousand complete courses of the sun!
    But in mine emulous honour let him die
    With every joint a wound, and that to-morrow!
  AENEAS. We know each other well.
  DIOMEDES.We do; and long to know each other worse.
  PARIS. This is the most despiteful'st gentle greeting
    The noblest hateful love, that e'er I heard of.
    What business, lord, so early?
  AENEAS. I was sent for to the King; but why, I know not.
  PARIS. His purpose meets you: 'twas to bring this Greek
    To Calchas' house, and there to render him,
    For the enfreed Antenor, the fair Cressid.
    Let's have your company; or, if you please,
    Haste there before us. I constantly believe-
    Or rather call my thought a certain knowledge-
    My brother Troilus lodges there to-night.
    Rouse him and give him note of our approach,
    With the whole quality wherefore; I fear
    We shall be much unwelcome.
  AENEAS. That I assure you:
    Troilus had rather Troy were borne to Greece
    Than Cressid borne from Troy.
  PARIS. There is no help;
    The bitter disposition of the time
    Will have it so. On, lord; we'll follow you.
  AENEAS. Good morrow, all.              Exit with servant
  PARIS. And tell me, noble Diomed-faith, tell me true,
    Even in the soul of sound good-fellowship-
    Who in your thoughts deserves fair Helen best,
    Myself or Menelaus?
  DIOMEDES. Both alike:
    He merits well to have her that doth seek her,
    Not making any scruple of her soilure,
    With such a hell of pain and world of charge;
    And you as well to keep her that defend her,
    Not palating the taste of her dishonour,
    With such a costly loss of wealth and friends.
    He like a puling cuckold would drink up
    The lees and dregs of a flat tamed piece;
    You, like a lecher, out of whorish loins
    Are pleas'd to breed out your inheritors.
    Both merits pois'd, each weighs nor less nor more;
    But he as he, the heavier for a whore.
  PARIS. You are too bitter to your country-woman.
  DIOMEDES. She's bitter to her country. Hear me, Paris:
    For every false drop in her bawdy veins
    A Grecian's life hath sunk; for every scruple
    Of her contaminated carrion weight
    A Troyan hath been slain; since she could speak,
    She hath not given so many good words breath
    As for her Greeks and Troyans suff'red death.
  PARIS. Fair Diomed, you do as chapmen do,
    Dispraise the thing that you desire to buy;
    But we in silence hold this virtue well:
    We'll not commend what we intend to sell.
    Here lies our way.
Exeunt

 On a street in Troy, Aeneas meets up with Paris and his posse of Trojan leaders, along with Diomedes, a Greek leader. Aeneas greets Paris by saying something like "Hey, if I had a girl like Helen in my bed, I wouldn't be out here prowling the streets of Troy." Then Aeneas turns to the Greek Diomedes, and the two guys exchange some friendly banter about how funny it is that they're always trying to hunt down and kill each other on the battlefield. LOL! Paris declares that this little display is the "noblest hateful love" he's ever witnessed. Translation: they're totally frenemies. Aeneas finds out that the King wants him to escort Diomedes to Calchas' house to trade Cressida for the prisoner Antenor. But Paris is afraid that they'll find Cressida in bed with Troilus, so he asks Aeneas to run ahead and warn him. Aeneas notes that Troilus would rather see Troy lose the war to Greece than lose Cressida. Sure, Paris says, it's a bummer the lovebirds have to be broken up. But that's the way it goes when you're in the middle of a nasty war. Easy for Paris to say--he started the whole thing. Anyway, Aeneas trots off to warn Troilus. Then Paris turns to Diomedes and asks who he thinks deserves Helen more: him or Menelaus? Diomedes replies that both men deserve her because they're willing to fight over a "whore" who isn't worth the loss of money and soldiers. Paris thinks Diomedes is too bitter toward Helen, and we really have to agree. But Diomedes doesn't stop there. He refers to Helen as "contaminated carrion" and says she's not worth the lives that have been lost fighting over who should get to have her. Um, we really have to ask--how much of a choice did Helen really have? Paris agrees to disagree, and they head off to Calchas' house to collect Cressida.

