Chapter: SCENE 3.

A room in the Garter Inn.

[Enter HOST and BARDOLPH.]

BARDOLPH.
Sir, the Germans desire to have three of your horses; the Duke
himself will be to-morrow at court, and they are going to meet him.

HOST.
What duke should that be comes so secretly? I hear not of him in
the court. Let me speak with the gentlemen; they speak English?

BARDOLPH.
Ay, sir; I'll call them to you.

HOST.
They shall have my horses, but I'll make them pay; I'll sauce them;
they have had my house a week at command; I have turned away my
other guests. They must come off; I'll sauce them. Come.

[Exeunt.]




SCENE 4.

A room in FORD'S house.

[Enter PAGE, FORD, MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS FORD, and SIR HUGH
EVANS.]

EVANS.
'Tis one of the best discretions of a 'oman as ever I did look upon.

PAGE.
And did he send you both these letters at an instant?

MRS. PAGE.
Within a quarter of an hour.

FORD.
Pardon me, wife. Henceforth, do what thou wilt;
I rather will suspect the sun with cold
Than thee with wantonness: now doth thy honour stand,
In him that was of late an heretic,
As firm as faith.

PAGE.
'Tis well, 'tis well; no more.
Be not as extreme in submission
As in offence;
But let our plot go forward: let our wives
Yet once again, to make us public sport,
Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,
Where we may take him and disgrace him for it.

FORD.
There is no better way than that they spoke of.

PAGE.
How? To send him word they'll meet him in the park at midnight?
Fie, fie! he'll never come!

EVANS.
You say he has been thrown in the rivers; and has been grievously
peaten as an old 'oman; methinks there should be terrors in him,
that he should not come; methinks his flesh is punished; he shall
have no desires.

PAGE.
So think I too.

MRS. FORD.
Devise but how you'll use him when he comes,
And let us two devise to bring him thither.

MRS. PAGE.
There is an old tale goes that Herne the hunter,
Sometime a keeper here in Windsor Forest,
Doth all the winter-time, at still midnight,
Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd horns;
And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle,
And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a chain
In a most hideous and dreadful manner:
You have heard of such a spirit, and well you know
The superstitious idle-headed eld
Received, and did deliver to our age,
This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth.

PAGE.
Why, yet there want not many that do fear
In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak.
But what of this?

MRS. FORD.
Marry, this is our device;
That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us,
Disguis'd, like Herne, with huge horns on his head.

PAGE.
Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come,
And in this shape. When you have brought him thither,
What shall be done with him? What is your plot?

MRS. PAGE.
That likewise have we thought upon, and thus:
Nan Page my daughter, and my little son,
And three or four more of their growth, we'll dress
Like urchins, ouphs, and fairies, green and white,
With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,
And rattles in their hands. Upon a sudden,
As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met,
Let them from forth a sawpit rush at once
With some diffused song; upon their sight
We two in great amazedness will fly:
Then let them all encircle him about,
And fairy-like, to pinch the unclean knight;
And ask him why, that hour of fairy revel,
In their so sacred paths he dares to tread
In shape profane.

MRS. FORD.
And till he tell the truth,
Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound,
And burn him with their tapers.

MRS. PAGE.
The truth being known,
We'll all present ourselves; dis-horn the spirit,
And mock him home to Windsor.

FORD.
The children must
Be practis'd well to this or they'll ne'er do 't.

EVANS.
I will teach the children their behaviours; and I will
be like a jack-an-apes also, to burn the knight with my
taber.

FORD.
That will be excellent. I'll go buy them vizards.

MRS. PAGE.
My Nan shall be the Queen of all the Fairies,
Finely attired in a robe of white.

PAGE.
That silk will I go buy. [Aside.] And in that time
Shall Master Slender steal my Nan away,
And marry her at Eton. Go, send to Falstaff straight.

FORD.
Nay, I'll to him again, in name of Brook;
He'll tell me all his purpose. Sure, he'll come.

MRS. PAGE.
Fear not you that. Go, get us properties
And tricking for our fairies.

EVANS.
Let us about it. It is admirable pleasures, and fery
honest knaveries.

[Exeunt PAGE, FORD, and EVANS.]

MRS. PAGE.
Go, Mistress Ford.
Send Quickly to Sir John to know his mind.

[Exit MRS. FORD.]

I'll to the Doctor; he hath my good will,
And none but he, to marry with Nan Page.
That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot;
And he my husband best of all affects:
The Doctor is well money'd, and his friends
Potent at court: he, none but he, shall have her,
Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her.

[Exit.]

 Scene 3-4 . In scene 3, Bardolph tells the Host that the Germans who have been staying at the Garter Inn need to have three of his horses, to meet the Duke at court. The Host agrees, but says he will make them pay for the horses. . In scene 4, Ford, who has been shown the letters Falstaff wrote and how the women responded to them, asks forgiveness of his wife. . Then Page, Ford, their wives, and Evans plan yet another trick on Falstaff. The women will ask him to meet them in the wood at night, disguised as Herne the Hunter, the spirit of a man who used to be a keeper in the forest. Herne is said to appear with great horns and cause mischief in the wood. When Falstaff comes and meets the women, Anne Page and a few more children will pretend to be fairies and rush at him. The women will run away, and the children will encircle him and pinch him and ask him why he dares to tread on their sacred paths. . Mrs. Ford suggests that the fairies will continue to pinch him and burn him with tapers until he admits the truth. Then everyone else will appear and mock Falstaff all the way back to Windsor. . Page plots to allow Slender to marry his daughter immediately after the joke in Windsor forest, while Mrs. Page lays plans to marry Anne off to Caius. She thinks Slender is an idiot, whereas Caius has money, as well as friends at the royal court. .

