during these days of preparation, queequeg and i often visited the craft, and as often i asked about captain ahab, and how he was, and when he was going to come on board his ship. to these questions they would answer, that he was getting better and better, and was expected aboard every day; meantime, the two captains, peleg and bildad, could attend to everything necessary to fit the vessel for the voyage. if i had been downright honest with myself, i would have seen very plainly in my heart that i did but half fancy being committed this way to so long a voyage, without once laying my eyes on the man who was to be the absolute dictator of it, so soon as the ship sailed out upon the open sea. but when a man suspects any wrong, it sometimes happens that if he be already involved in the matter, he insensibly strives to cover up his suspicions even from himself. and much this way it was with me. i said nothing, and tried to think nothing.