as you know, martyn, during those difficult times i was very low and very introspective and i didn't really have any self-worth but through volunteering, which was structured and had a purpose to it but didn't have the pressures and anxiety's that could be related to holding down a full-time job, something you know of yourself, i was able to rebuild my confidence and i am now in a position whereby i am relishing to looking forward and working out a pathway into paid work at some point in the future but with the proviso that i will undertake such a path when its right for me as an individual and i think that's one important thing that i want to state.