in 1973, georgiana latimer schemes with her lover, josef sirola, to steal five million dollars in cash from her father's safe. as georgiana pretends to be a widow in mourning, she and josef hide the loot in a coffin and plan to transport it by train to new york. elsewhere, young michael rangeloff is on the run from the irate women's roller derby team he manages. michael escapes by disguising himself in a u.s. army uniform at the oakland, california, train station, where two military officials assume he is accompanying the coffin. meanwhile, georgiana and sirola have noticed michael and follow him. on board, michael becomes friendly with scatterbrained actress, standish logan, and soon discovers the coffin contains millions of dollars. during a stop in reno, nevada, michael telephones his friend, century milestone, an experienced conman, who later boards the train dressed as a minister. meanwhile, the conductor makes an unplanned stop in high river, nebraska, to deliver the deceased hero to his hometown. michael and century get off the train with the coffin, along with standish, who plays the role of biddlecoff's widow.