and my heart went some where else and i think erm, the, the marriage erm, the love in my marriage was definitely killed by an act which my partner did and i would fall into the crimes of passion i think because i mean to, to me he committed the deadly sin of all and that was adultery and i could never forgive him for that and i think that picks up on a lot, many issues which have been raised tonight about you have to have trust in a partnership, you have to give and take and people change and some people can accept all that but i was not willing to do so.