zolotow explained that although she is a feminist and appreciates feminist support of the book's message, her inspiration derives from personal observations about her husband's early attempts to bond with the couple's son, stephen. she cites a specific experience that later became the basis of the book. as a result of her husband's refusal to fulfill their son's request for a stuffed animal lion due to his association between stuffed animals and femininity, zolotow later purchases the item for stephen behind her husband's back. zolotow argues that denying young boys access to certain toys rejects fullfillment of genuine human instinct. observing similar interactions between fathers and sons at local parks, zolotow found inspiration in how men of the time period missed out on some of the pleasures of being closely involved with their children's early development. she observed, for example, that by always exiting the room during diaper changes, her husband missed their son's first smile. such absences of early interaction between father and child, zolotow believes, result in a breach in the foundation of the relationship.