when hicks penned "excuse me, are you a model?", her intent was to write a first book to which people would "react". whether those reactions were positive or negative was not her young mind's first concern. only public "indifference", the antithesis of public "reaction", would impede her achievement of fame and popularity, she believed—a message pat chan had surely instilled in hicks from the start. hicks described her own early motivations: