er and then to contrast this you've got like the feminist view er well it's a just reconstruct a lot of these ideas instead of saying that women's talk was diffident they said it was more considerate, and so the idea that quite often a lot of the features that are in this conversation aren't because women want to be deferential to the men they're talking to, it's that they actually want to show some consideration to to the turn-taking or the conversational style that's going on.