let me know what you mean by okay it's okay to say no me cat we go back and forth that's already more specific when you say no i predict that by saying no more often than you would like the other person is going to react to you in a way doesn't mean you're well it in your best interest but if you think they may be home video that's less likely that if i understand what you're saying trade deadliest is to communicate in a way that university communicate back to use of its in my best interest and saying the purpose of this process is to get everybody's needs met and interviews and that by people giving willingly not out of any congressman motivation and i think that when you say no it gets in the way of the likelihood that everybody's needs a good usse really keeps you from saying yes i predict there's more likelihood that everybody's leaves london so it's just a quick reflexes resected expressed your needs without offended me dijo clear many different clearer expression of what you're trying to straighten out you get cleared more connected to life when you say that need to keep you from saying yes agency and it's less likely to be interpreted as the rejection as you being defensive uh... but but did say that no by itself i predict is more likely to get you interpretations that are here based in sometimes when i don't hear no i'd look at it as being surpasses aggressive response to something someone you know it's a few so if i make an appointment with somebody and instead of saying no they just don't show up yes and they give me a reason why did it yes up i'm not suggesting that and that's exactly that response and suggesting that i would have liked that person to have told you obviously at the time with their neighbors i think if they had done that's it they said he has that wasn't so people or outside free