located and what did you say to yourself when you did meeting in a moment i feel in defense of my though i wanna concretely no for this exercise i need to know concretely what you say to yourself when you behave in a way you know this is very important to answer your question about giraffe morning very important to identify your inner what your inner educate or is saying to you seeing this all of us pavan inner educate was function it is to educate us when we are less than perfect now most of us made the mistake of sending our dinner educator off to a proof of that goal for inner educate and so it's important to be conscious of how our inner educator talks to us and that's what i'm asking you when you said would you didn't see it has been what did your enter educator how did your inner educator try to educate you said what to you about what you had been momentarily at the book the day one well diplomats tactical regression is later with your any point what did you say to yourself about your an adventurous and how that's that's about half here is a care tries to educate you through penitence for making you hate yourself for what you've done uses language that implies is such a thing as a bad person if you apologize out of that energy that's jack any apology that comes out of thinking you did something wrong is not going to be good for you or the other person you with me so far minor feels bad uh... huh and i really want you to feel better in this situation but i want you to feel this week that this week that that will help you learn from this without heating yourself when you have a file in your head that you're a bad person as i'll be back that's a punitive back and of course will make it hard to learn and even if you do it it's out of self-hatred so whatever changes you make a great cost so that children are educated that was your inner educator speaking you when it said you're a bad person now we've been learning to date uh... judgments are expressions of means right so you're indicator means well really means what it wants you to learn from this in a way that will survive it means well let's just get the language that sucks so we don't want to hear what the inner educator thinks about we want to hear that mean that is in getting mad but it's trying to call to our attention so what we need the jury rigid catered trying to bring to your attention that you didn't meet by having the anne ki phoenicians inflation and me and what kind of relationship mutual understanding respectful so it didn't meet your needs for respecting an understanding it and how do you feel when it needed then he's still got the bad person in the gym you still think you know that there's anything can still going on and guilt comes from the jesuit