liberate ourselves from feeling responsible but the second is a hug to think we have to fix it to make the person field the more we think it's our job to make a person feel better the more we're going to make it works cogeco sixty the good news is you don't have to there is a very powerful healing energy always available if we don't block how do we blocked that energy by trying to fix things herself so how do we help that energy do the job by empathic empathy requires presence just to be present when we are just present when we remember in the mood is advice don't do something when we do that and that energy works through us there is a precious connection between that person than us that precious connection is what i mean i'm jim to enjoy that precious connection and whether this person's feelings your own or pain if we are presently there with them that's right we block grant beautiful energy whenever we step and i think we have to fix so leasing over there you'll feel better to get over we make it work when we start given by networks so what does that look like so your feeling really discouraged really would like to know that she is more in your life this moment yes this that every opportunity and look at me and he's never made use of anything so you're really discourage infrastructure would really like to made different views of some things that you have so just present not trying to fix and when that happens there's a very precious connection that's what i mean that and that precious connection does the healing mentioned by map here change clarified distinctions between empathizing and save them encouraging and supporting itself somebody's and sometimes by beena itself subpart spouse this little charisma but i think it got some comes about when this person is talking about what happened to them for the fiftieth time system if i'm really listening to them idon't hear what they talk about about the past cuz i know that the more they talk about the past the less healing will take place so i interrupt but i interrupted bring the conversation collide they're talking about the past and i are optimistic excuse me but sounds like right now you're still feeling her because you need respec wasn't there seekers just letting them talk about the past and asking him questions about whether about the past is just keep so-called so i interrupt when they talk about the past because we don't feel like talking about the past we heal by talking about what a lot of us right now stimulated rootsweb's here now and when i connect at that level they won't keep talking