i've lost my son, i've lost my sister, my brother and so on and friends you grow up with you reach my age you start to find a lot more people around you are passing away and so on people you have shared very closely with them you feel the pain of that and also sometimes with things going on inside this body you go to the doctor and you know any moment they could be telling you, like you got this prostate cancer or something you are like...something is ready for that and then... and then you begin to see it's all momentary all of this you put so much energy but you cannot keep it because even the body that you need to enjoy you cannot keep and it's a time when you reach a certain level of seeing inside yourself that everything is passing by and you grow up very quickly, you know you grow up very very quickly to the point where you know