"if two months since i had been called upon to leave my room and the view of meyer’s wall opposite, i verily believe i should have been sorry. but now i have no such feeling, and yet i am leaving this room and meyer’s brick wall for ever. so that my conclusion, that it is not worth while indulging in grief, or any other emotion, for a fortnight, has proved stronger than my very nature, and has taken over the direction of my feelings. but is it so? is it the case that my nature is conquered entirely? if i were to be put on the rack now, i should certainly cry out. i should not say that it is not worth while to yell and feel pain because i have but a fortnight to live.