when they say to you ‘oh well, you know, surely you don't mind a little bit of flirtation and so on’ i think very often that's an entirely mendacious reply, that they know perfectly well what you're talking about when you talk about sexual harassment, and in the context of discussions in the scr or over dinner, they simply don't want to have to deal with it and so they will dismiss it by way of saying ‘well, you know, i'm only being chivalrous, or this is the way i was brought up’.