the danger is when they're the ones that  if they're the ones that stop other people sorting out their own feelings and emotions erm and i think in the work that i've done in schools and in other situations following disasters one of the biggest problems has been that those expressing denial or saying that we should be able to cope with this, children are resilient, they don't have these problems, erm they've often stopped people getting the help that they need; often stopped other teachers getting the help that they need.