"lose you to love me" is a song performed by american singer-actress selena gomez. it was released on october 23, 2019, as the dual lead single (along with “look at her now”) from her third solo album, "rare". gomez wrote the song with justin tranter, julia michaels, and its producer, mattman &amp; robin. finneas, known for producing his sister billie eilish's songs, produced this song as well.