like that uh... and indicates they are you feeling frustrated because he really needs and other ways to express tanker that's when i ask you to do to right here the financing and universal at that time notice what it does even if it's wrong it demonstrates the value demonstrates that you value what's a lot of interest if you're taking the time to try to connect with what's allied when people trust that that's what's interesting omit already we consolidate what makes it hard to resolve things is when people feel the other person is only interested in winning i don't care about me and just out to show me that i shouldn't do this but my just stopping and trying to connect you've demonstrated a powerful value that you value what's alive now the yes uh... with might lead to placed on are you feeling distressed used because you would need help that's the idea and even if it's not accurate it gives you get it notice even if it's not accurate it brings the other persons attention to their needs gives them a chance to correct they're going to be guessing wrong what a person need is them to hearing what they think you'll be living in a different world when you're trying to connect with their needs in the world you'll be living in if you here with me and help expressing v insanity can't one of the things he said uh... before lunch which can be the most dangerous when somebody just let me make a request in some cases yes i'll do that helping any night i could gasoline like what i wrote down was are you feeling pain because you're needing recognition for the job you're doing uh... like but go ahead with it feels like there's a hugely from the response yes i'll do that a asking that question that's here trying to assess what's really behind it that's one of the children wins the other possibility would also be dresses disable singer postage don't and feeling uneasy with your ok i wish i could trust it but i don't have been like you to take a moment and really tell me whether it would be to needs to do is at so that's what i would guess that the ok isn't that's how i was simple you're also not nice much and i think the violence in the world is created by nice people don't mistake the word non-violence is denies are you feeling abandoned battlefield uh... project was the fact that are you feeling afraid networker because you're in the reassurance network i will not disappear your needs will be taken care leave yourself out of the other person's name they can live without all their needs convener without how could i satisfy your needs that subject of course yet the that kind of question that the other person is smart they'll take the fifth amendment yeah this was an answer to and my daughter said he's someone reading from a book you sound like you're reading from book sliced a are you feeling scared separate an alienated and you need to be responded to an end to anyone heartfelt but you're doing it again when you do the k so was such a gentle for awhile until you they cleared and what you're doing so they will have less distrust of it you would do just as you said but son silently sexy don't think we have to do this all out for it to be powerful it can be powerful if we don't say were as long as where our attention is is here unit so you might have heard just that but maybe not upset about love and that's all you can hear what did you have to use and you can hear that even if your silent you don't have to say out loud occurred but you'll still get your attention is here but there are because what we're hearing what is in a person's heart as a different then when we're hearing a criticism well when we're making the curtis