"i have looked at her, speculating thousands of times upon the unborn child from whom i had been rent. whether it was alive. whether it had been born alive, or the poor mother's shock had killed it. whether it was a son who would some day avenge his father. (there was a time in my imprisonment, when my desire for vengeance was unbearable.) whether it was a son who would never know his father's story; who might even live to weigh the possibility of his father's having disappeared of his own will and act. whether it was a daughter who would grow to be a woman."