list where u what you say to yourself when you're less than perfect now for each judgment think of what might be in the stimulus for we've got to relate each of these to a specific context thirty years i must say the first thing is you have in your list mister barone when a dumb thing to do it what you might have done to stimulate then put out here at the news and here than ny stupid i'm saying that all judgments a tragic expressions of unmet need ask yourself if i when i say that to myself in that situation house too what we need m_i_a_ expressing through that judgment what we have mine isn't getting met and here's where you can use the list in my my book if you can't come up with it yourself first look through the list and your body will tell you when you didn't call ripken's uh... yeah yeah yeah that's what made need comes much closer to the truth than any judgment unit so do that for every item on the list what you tell yourself when you're angry at others again identified concretely what the other person might have done this stimulate then ask yourself this question when i judge people as idiot doing what you don't mind was not being met in that city again trying to get it without my list if you can't find it looked to my list the fine when it comes close the third with what others say to you to get your defense practice putting on the giraffe years imagine what you did the stimulated and in that situation guess what the other persons needs were that we're getting them so we feel it's just learning a new language learning for every time there are these jackal judgment through as quickly as possible to bring yourself back to life or more specifically connected in needs a lot requested and city i'd need another person you know expectations me yes well first of all never hear an expectation that's that's thoughts expectations are thoughts don't care don't even hear expectations here what that means what does that mean that the person is asking for you to me you know i don't live up to expectations but that is fun to meet me do you think every all of our ministry i don't think you have to do it this time will bill you know the people that could begin processing even if you could do it you may choose not to and that will be a problem the other person can hear at no it's the first few empathy for their feelings and that will lead them feeling at least at their feelings in these matters but then again that you have to know how to say no injuries kapiti