"well, just listen, prince. i remained here last evening, partly because i have a great admiration for the french archbishop bourdaloue. i enjoyed a discussion over him till three o’clock in the morning, with lebedeff; and then... then i swear by all i hold sacred that i am telling you the truth then i wished to develop my soul in this frank and heartfelt confession to you. this was my thought as i was sobbing myself to sleep at dawn. just as i was losing consciousness, tears in my soul, tears on my face (i remember how i lay there sobbing), an idea from hell struck me. ‘why not, after confessing, borrow money from him?’