line expect myself yes you can do that nobody can stop you from expressing yourself i'm getting in you want to have a person to wait until you finish speaking yet before starting yeah okay that's this they were black so how do we know you can only tell whether it's a request their demand by how i treat you if you don't do it that's what those people whether we are making requests to connect what is their memory of how we act when we don't get what we want if people have in their memory any punishment on our part in the past when they don't you enabling it will now be hard for them to trust that we are making the request to not have been there it will take the joy out of giving tours so let's follow that example a little bit more for me to show you what i mean so i say to you i'm really uh... lonely this evening would have a need for some company would you be willing to spend the evening with me and you say marshall and the really preoccupied with some things at work and would really need some space to myself this evening could you find someone else to do with you this evening and here's my reaction