"i... you," he began joyfully. "you cannot tell how i... he always spoke so enthusiastically of you, colia here; i liked his enthusiasm. i was not corrupting him! but i must leave him, too i wanted to leave them all there was not one of them not one! i wanted to be a man of action i had a right to be. oh! what a lot of things i wanted! now i want nothing; i renounce all my wants; i swore to myself that i would want nothing; let them seek the truth without me! yes, nature is full of mockery! why" he continued with sudden warmth "does she create the choicest beings only to mock at them? the only human being who is recognized as perfect, when nature showed him to mankind, was given the mission to say things which have caused the shedding of so much blood that it would have drowned mankind if it had all been shed at once! oh!