lesson i've been wrong before i could should be wrong this time but let's will find out within twenty minutes ago first tell me what his needs are in this situation he doesn't want me to spend any money he responsibly next week ticket thirty nine years of communication well first of all of those that want you to spend any money c needs and strategies need to be separate they had been talking about how much money as you can spend and that's been but the more important issue there was whether whether group takes care of the checkbook he unilaterally controlled the checkbook which was really the main issue between and saying i don't even want to couple cock about the strategy solution until the collection when the connections are conflicts usually resolved without so i put it out there are no that's not a medium even if it was notices saying that's not accurate to women and tell you what is needed you see he's just like his own father they both have a depression mentality when it comes to mind at all since dot uh... now i'm hearing psychoanalytic jackal here and i was going to take another thirty nine years if you give them back you know i'm not asking for an analysis of his personality and seeing what is needs she didn't know thirty-nine years she had no awareness consciousness abuse me so i said to him ok well she doesn't know how to tell ur muscle and tell you what her knees stations on level and whom wonderful mother wonderful wife but when it comes to money she's totally irresponsible here comes another thirty nine years and screaming that he gives me a diagnosis and of course she immediately says that's unfair arsenal so i can see they didn't have any letters so i had the long run might use with giraffe years of course i'm conscious that all judgment she's totally irresponsible is a tragic expression oven on that day so if you would have had these years they would have been able to resolve this in the first year that she did she was taking it could personally so i helped them understand when you say she's irresponsible are you feeling frightened and need to be sure the family's protected economically that's exactly what i mean well westwood incentive but he didn't know how to say is feeling so i've got his needs identify he was scared wanted to protect the family economic i turned to his wife is that could you tell me back to what you heard him say but because i didn't know what time i wanted you to check book will be revealed first married now we think that excuses knows what the first word she said was and she doesn't know the cardinals referal never put your butt in the face of an angry person