it's here's your wife in these here's your knees here's your knees without giving any criticism and it's and you'll hear her knees without any criticism and the man the solution will find you conflict will resolve itself does need to do is up what most of us do we skip that and go right to hear for example i sometimes do uh... workshops just with america or other people living together relationship and uh... what we go to begin the work we identify of the couple who uh... has had conflict the longest outstanding conflict that could not be result and i make a prediction and it's right my predictions been accurate and looked at the indian i'd sure the seventy five percent the case but my prediction is that that we will resolve the conflict within twenty minutes within twenty minutes from the point at which both parties can tell me what the other party is needed now one-time we found a couple married thirteen ninety thirty nine years in the conflict had not been able to resolve this conflict the wife said marshall i can tell you right now we're not going to be able to resolve this morning twenty minutes we have a good marriage we communicate well suggest one of those things that were different people and we just have a conflict i said let me correct one thing i didn't say that we're going to resolve it within twenty minutes i said within twenty minutes from the point at which you can both tell me what the other party is needed or she said marshall had been married thirty here's and you've talked about something almost everyday i can tell you we on the stand the problem isn't that weird just to different people in this issue