let's think about the clear about our request is we can test it out before a singer for money for surrender to god really be grateful if you would do clean up the scent the person does it and i'm still not sorry okay that helps to know that doesn't work state we never really know what we want until after we get if after we get it it makes life more what witness ruble that we know that isn't what we want if it makes life more wonderful then we know that is what you know a strategy that will be done that's what makes life fun we never know what what we want until after we get it that's why i thought that was the theologian says that christianity requires a willingness encourages you ask for what you want to meet your needs you get it makes life worth something living wouldn't it be boring know what is we do when i described i feel that expressed because i need respect an acknowledgement and i need to be able to feel safe in my job in time your needs too tag k he'll sites that's because i need to express might decide in need without it hurting me no no no no i haven't got a bunch of stuff though walk to avoid the only way i can offer you to do that it's become a nice did first because of other people have shackled is they can get her if you have heartburn so what i just cut out that second hand i need to express my design yes and that i and then what you want to say to yourself and i want to learn to enjoy your pain which is let's show you after about how to enjoy the other persons below extent for the most loving things you could as i will define obviously i don't need to know statistically that so i have a couple of working on one of the day because i have a need for predictability resonating respectability broke it and because i think for privacy might be useful comradeship and militant montgomery anita memorialize the life of your father endurance so honor the life of your her family we need to honor that's life yes the tensed communication with other people orphan in support of life major supporting of life openlist when you do there is very you're hurt because i have in the tv understood the important you understanding to be heard it because into empathy there's different ways of expressing but it's a critical me one that we have gained bottom line and happy u and to make you happy heavenly for love don't bring the other person tuesday ever need throughout luxury the into met them the needs help one week believe that our needs involved another person doing something we take the very abundant world to make its case very quickly so we don't want a mix up are needed to request we may have a request a strong request of a particular person need our need for a lot that's the strategy you may want this particular person but we don't have a need for that person two months that's mixing up the need at the request we have a need for a lot they have a strong preference this person take the actions to make we don't want to make that the media strategy okay let's uh... take one more and then we'll go we've gotta move on here used immediate steps or kidney him uh... well there's a very important word and need but now that word love is so important critics we gotta get real clear what we'd need about it when we use it as a giraffe watch what happens when a giraffe and a jack we'll get together and slow since watch this jack alaska very dangerous question but noticed that the giraffe is too smart ever to answer this question do you love them jackal before i can answer your question honestly i need to get some important things clear are you using the word love that there's a feeling well of course okay well i needed to get that clear so you mean and my feeling certain warm cuddly tender feelings toward okay i needed to get this critical seaweed u_s_ do not use the word love as a field and it's much too important to us to get a confused with the field it's a need for us but since you use it was a feeling okay i'm glad to know that so would you please there now that i know that would you ask the question again do you love them but well i want to be honest i can see how important this is to be how can i be honest with you about what i feel toward you without reference to a specific moment feelings change every few seconds