"do you know that i came here to see those trees?" pointing to the trees in the park. "it is not ridiculous, is it? say that it is not ridiculous!" he demanded urgently of lizabetha prokofievna. then he seemed to be plunged in thought. a moment later he raised his head, and his eyes sought for someone. he was looking for evgenie pavlovitch, who was close by on his right as before, but he had forgotten this, and his eyes ranged over the assembled company. "ah! you have not gone!" he said, when he caught sight of him at last. "you kept on laughing just now, because i thought of speaking to the people from the window for a quarter of an hour. but i am not eighteen, you know; lying on that bed, and looking out of that window, i have thought of all sorts of things for such a long time that... a dead man has no age, you know. i was saying that to myself only last week, when i was awake in the night. do you know what you fear most? you fear our sincerity more than anything, although you despise us! the idea crossed my mind that night... you thought i was making fun of you just now, lizabetha prokofievna? no, the idea of mockery was far from me; i only meant to praise you. colia told me the prince called you a child very well but let me see, i had something else to say..." he covered his face with his hands and tried to collect his thoughts.