The low self esteem really comes through in this post. Yes, you should absolutely get a therapist, but in addition to getting "us" a therapist, I would tell you to get *you* a therapist, just for yourself. You describe how you've been handling the bulk of the housework and building his business with him, and yet you consistently devalue your contributions.

Consider getting a different therapist than the person you went to before. The whole 'pursuer-distancer' sex problem doesn't get solved until the pursuer *stops asking completely*, so that the distancer doesn't have to fear "I can't hold hands with him because then he'll expect sex". The whole build back up slowly thing doesn't work unless he's willing to completely drop the expectation of sex, and you'll need a therapist who's willing to call him on it when he doesn't.