You need to get to a lawyer now! She will rip you up in the upcoming divorce unless you plan properly. Don't forcast. Don't threaten. Give her the space she is asking for. Smile and nod. Then hit her with the largest (metaphorical) club you can. It's going to get ugly. When she realizes you aren't going to be her provider anymore she will go into survival mode. She has already killed the marriage. It's time to protect yourself and what is left of your family.