&amp;#x200B;

I just got out something bad, and the best thing for me I found was to take a step back, realise how your life is with them and without them. For me, I was always consistently worried if the relationship would end or not. You need to learn yourself and how your brain works before you can really understand what you want from him (if that makes sense)...   
In terms of the relationship, if the relationship is now toxic, you need to leave. I know you're scared to leave and be alone. But honestly becoming independent is the best thing you can do for yourself and try to not build your life around him or future relationships.    
I would cater my life around my ex but in realised once everything ended, I was being taken for granted. You need to find your self-worth. I know it's hard to understand and figure out a way to do so, but it's now time for reflection. 

&amp;#x200B;

Best thing is - Find things you depended on him, and slowly see how you can replace his role in that task and do it yourself i.e. \*random example\* If he cooked for you, you then learn how to cook for yourself now. Small steps and you'll get used to it. Feeling alone is normal... We're humans, social beings. We need companionship but it doesn't mean we can't learn to become independent.

&amp;#x200B;

hopefully, this helped (been up for 26 hours).