There’s a middle ground here that you’re missing: accepting your bro for who he is, meeting him where he’s at now, and living your own life. 

You reach out when the thought comes to you, expecting nothing in return, because that’s where he is right now. You live your life and invite him to participate when you’d genuinely enjoy his company. But you don’t count on or need it. It’s a bonus to your life. 

Say you’re going to check out a new brewery. You’re doing it no matter what, so there’s no harm in texting him to say “hey ted, I’m gonna check out this brewery on Saturday, I’d love to see you.” Then if he comes, fucking awesome. If not, you’re still living your best life. 

You don’t need to abandon or confront or anything else. You just need to do your own thing, reach out when it comes naturally, and have a full life without him.