I think it's fair to say this is a fairly unique situation and I can't even imagine the different emotions running through your mind.

From what you've said, it sounds like your husband is certainly bi-curious at the very least.


&gt;He’s always been very interested in sex with me and he is very attentive to me. I have never had sex with him that didn’t start out with oral sex.

I think you can safely say he's not 100% gay.. 

&gt;I found evidence from his auto texts that suggested “I’ve never been with a guy before but you are making me rock hard”. I then found multiple pics of him in different pairs of my panties with my sex toys in his ass. 

..But it is obviously not the actions of a heterosexual man either. 

I am sure your husband cares greatly about you and I would assume this is also a very difficult for him to process. Try not to jump to any conclusions. It is entirely possible he is just toying with the idea of being with men, without having ever actually acted on the notion. I'm sure you're familiar with how quickly a man can change the second he ejaculates.

Only you know your husband as well as you do. But ultimately you are going to have to confront him about this. Choose a safe space and try your best to remain calm, but tell him you've seen the pictures and that he needs to come clean about anything and everything that has happened if there's any chance of you working through this. 

Remember this will likely be incredibly difficult and potentially embarrassing for him too. I would expect initial denial before tears. 


&gt;sense of betrayal I feel is profound

I can't even fathom what is going through your head as I've said, but I wouldn't not assume this was out of malice. Sexual orientation can be highly confusing. I'm sure he knows how much this would hurt you after so long and perhaps he wants to know for sure before making such a huge admission.

I truly wish you the best of luck. I don't know if any of what I've said offers any consolation to your situation, but so is the complexity of life. Remember you've (hopefully) still got your health and loving friends and family who will be there to support you, you live in a prosperous country and probably have a steady job. As horrible as your situation is (and I don't mean to downplay it here), it could be a lot lot worse to try and offer some perspective.