My ex gf liked to watch videos of guys jerking off. I thought it was funny. She also liked to watch me jerk off sometimes. 

Was it actually a cam show with a live person? If so I can understand why that would be bothersome. If it was just a video of a woman masturbating then I’d say the only problem here are your insecurities. In that case I recommend you get therapy to work on these insecurities. You’re going to have a hard time dating straight guys if an innocent masturbation video bothers you this much.

Either way I think you’re really overreacting. Considering you watch porn yourself I would say this is even hypocritical. It wouldn’t be fair of him to dictate which kinds of porn you watch and the same applies to you. That kind of controlling behavior is toxic.

Now, if he is paying for live shows and interacting with these women, that’s a different story. Is that the case?