That's a good question. I think for both, but when he is caught he has to deal with it. It comes to the surface, all of his insecurities, the shame, etc. 

He did tell me once when we were having a really good, straightforward conversation about it that when I would calm down after a while it seemed easier to go back to status quo than try to fight it, but he was being very vulnerable and honest in that convo so IDK.