It ended up well, but definitely the exception instead of rule. 

My SO was brutally honest about dating many people at a time (all informed of each other), having a poor relationship with alcohol, and having poor impulse control. He was also brilliant, a great conversationalist, and made me genuinely feel listened to for the first time in my peer group. 

I was told by many people to stay away from him. Those people had some good intentions, I'm sure, but some of them were exes, or people who had made passes at me, or people who current me is genuinely shocked I counted as friends.

 What made me give him a chance was his honesty. He may have done some crap things before we met, but he never lied to me about them. And when I told him what behavior I was okay with having in my life, he said "Okay." He quit drinking cold turkey until we worked through some underlying issues, stayed monogamous and alerted me ahead of time of situations that might give me concerns, and we made a pact to help me relax and take some chances and help him think through consequences more.

This isn't to say that there weren't growing pains or arguments, but just that through everything, we have been (and remain, one year post marriage) a team. The key things I want to emphasize are:

- He never gaslit me, belittled me, or made me feel unimportant.
- He was truthful about his faults.
- While I helped him work through his issues, I DID NOT FIX HIM. Had I gone into things with that mindset, it would have been incredibly unhealthy. I gave him support and care, but he did the fixing.