I would've gone 2 stars if I were more forgiving. I could reason that it was the end of the day, that a big crowd of wayward children had just come through, or that a hurricane had blown out the back of the restaurant. But then, I tasted it.

It looks as if Yogurtini is pretty well-loved around these parts, and I'm sorry to report otherwise. It's was like a bomb had gone off. The tables were filthy, the machine handles were all gunked up, there was assorted debris on the floor. The two teenagers working were too busy gossiping about who knows what to do their jobs. When we walked in there were a few customers sampling flavors among the ruins, with no employees in sight. We grabbed some sample cups from the register and dodged napkins and froyo puddles (and other customers) to try some different flavors. The levers are the type that if you pull just a bit too far you make a mess all over your hand, especially when trying to squirt a tiny bit in a sample cup. This mess is then added to the greater mess of everyone else attempting this same operation, and no-one attempting to clean it up.

The stuff was real overpowering, to where instead of tasting like what it was supposed to taste like, it was bordering on medicine or like a bad imitation of what it was supposed to be. Like, cheesecake doesn't taste like that, good cheesecake anyway... And neither does cake batter, or banana. Where did the yogurt part go? And how do you screw up cookies and cream, exactly? The two that were the best (and most edible) were the Irish mint and the red velvet, and that's what we mostly ended up with.

The decor didn't add to our experience. Everything is a mint green, but it doesn't come off as retro or even minty, but more like dated and hospital-like. Some people really like it but I found it unappetizing.

A surly teenager magically appeared as we approached the register, only to disappear again soon after we paid. We sat down at a dirty table and dealt with our choices while the two teens again made an appearance, half-mopping-half-attempting-to-clean while chattering back and forth about their dating woes. We finished our yogurt but both strongly considered abandoning the whole affair.

I very well could have walked into Yogurtini at the worst possible time on the worst possible day, with all the factors stacked against them, but I won't be returning to find out if this was the case.