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Many of us marvel at how some individuals lead lives untouched by the taste of alcohol. In contrast, others find themselves caught in the merry-go-round of evening drinks, often searching for that elusive balance between casual and overconsumption. The answer doesn’t lie in a rare gene or a mystical talent. The secret weapon is surprisingly simple: A Decision. Unmasking the Myth of Willpower and Genes One of the biggest misconceptions surrounding alcohol consumption is that […]
Changing your habits is no small feat. However, understanding a habit’s anatomy can make this daunting task more manageable. The quest to change bad habits while fostering good ones is essential for self-expansion—a daily commitment to small changes leads to a transformation of the self. The Anatomy of a Habit: Cues, Triggers, Response, and Reward Cue and Trigger A habit starts with a cue, a situational trigger that prompts you to act. This cue may be […]
In a world of incessant noise and constant external influence, it’s easy to get lost in the shuffle. We’re continually bombarded with information, advice, standards, and expectations from others. Often, without even realizing it, we allow these external forces to dictate our outcomes, shape our minds, and guide our decisions. But what happens when what we allow becomes our standard? And how does our standard define our life’s trajectory? The Power of Allowing Imagine your […]
For many business owners and leaders, success is a double-edged sword. On the surface, they have it all: a thriving business, financial security, and the material possessions they’ve always dreamed of. But look a little closer, and you’ll see that many are trapped in a gray area of life, a place where success feels empty. The Problem: Building Success at a Cost You’ve built an empire. You’ve hit those multi coveted 7-figures, maybe even more. […]
We’ve journeyed together through the intricate steps of the D.E.C.I.D.E. Model of Change™ for personal transformation, discussing a strong Desire to change, the Exploration of our WHY, having a strong Commitment to self, needing an Identity Shift, and the power of Daily Habits. Today, we arrive at the final step of the process – ‘E’ for Everyday Effort equals Expansion. Everyday Effort: The Catalyst for Expansion Success, as with any meaningful change, isn’t achieved overnight. […]
As we navigate our way through the D.E.C.I.D.E. Model™ for personal transformation, we’ve explored Desire, the importance of Exploring Your WHY, the unwavering Commitment required, and the pivotal Identity Shift. We now arrive at the second ‘D’ – Daily Habits, the quiet yet powerful engine of change. It’s important to note that our brains like efficiency and are hardwired to be just that. When we learn a new habit, and it’s repeated, our brain will […]
We’ve been walking through the D.E.C.I.D.E. Model of Change™ for personal transformation, having covered ‘D’ for Desire, ‘E’ for Exploring Your WHY, and ‘C’ for Commitment. Today, we turn to the fascinating I -Identity Shift. This crucial step in your transformation journey necessitates a change in your belief system and an embrace of a new identity. An Identity Shift is Redefining Yourself Our identities are intrinsically linked to our behaviors. The person we perceive ourselves […]
In our ongoing exploration of the D.E.C.I.D.E. Model™ for personal transformation, we’ve already covered ‘D’ for Desire and ‘E’ for Exploring Your WHY. Today, we delve into the third integral step of the process – ‘C’ for Commitment. Commitment: The Non-Negotiable Ingredient Commitment is arguably the most crucial aspect of the D.E.C.I.D.E. Model™. It’s about being 100% committed to your commitment, leaving no room for half-hearted efforts. While a 98% commitment might seem substantial, it […]
In the journey of life, change is inevitable. Whether it’s a shift in career, a transition in relationships, or an evolution in health habits, the pursuit of change can be challenging yet incredibly rewarding. However, knowing how to navigate this path to personal growth is crucial, and that’s where the D.E.C.I.D.E. Model of Change™ comes into play. The D.E.C.I.D.E. Model™ is a unique, holistic approach to facilitating transformative change in your life. Over the next […]
In the realm of habits and behaviors, we often oscillate between what is “okay” and what is extreme. For example, you may socially drink but fear sliding into excessive indulgence. Just like gray area drinking, there are numerous other habits where we can find ourselves stuck in these so-called ‘gray zones.’ This post aims to explore these spaces and provide insights on how to maintain balance in our behaviors. With our human brains wired to […]
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Have you been wondering why you should consider hiring a coach? Maybe you’ve been asking, “What can I expect from working with a coach?” I get it, you’re not broken or need to be fixed, but we all could use support from someone that has your best interest at heart.  You’ve likely heard of the big giants such as Tony Robbins, Brendan Burchard, Mel Robbins, John Maxwell, and more, right? Did you know that almost […]
I still remember that phone call in the summer of 2017 from my friend, Beth. She is a sweet Southern belle with a cute accent that occasionally drops the “all y’all” saying. Beth is what I would describe as the church-going, business owner with an MLM company, mother of 3, that is trying to juggle it all. From her peers and the outside world, she has everything most women would die for, including a supportive […]
If you’re one of the several million people ready to ditch the booze this January, you are in good company. Dry January, as it’s formally called, has become extremely popular over the past several years, and for good reason.  As the holidays start to wind down, you may be looking back on the past few months at your overindulgences and welcome a clean slate. This is the perfect time to start the  New year (and […]
There are some things you just should never say to a non-drinker.  The reason WHY someone is choosing not to drink is private to them and varies from recovery, diet choice, religious reasons, or just because they don’t like alcohol. If you don’t want to appear ignorant, inconsiderate, or embarrassing to yourself, consider refraining from the following: Come on, you can have just one! –  Having just one is like having 10 for the person. […]
Many adults that drink alcohol could easily fall into the gray area category. They experience similarities regarding their inner conflicts and struggles. Most are overworked, overstressed, and pulled in many directions. In other words, they lack having work/life balance and joy in their lives.  Some are searching for a life purpose. Some have very little to no self-love or respect or carry around unresolved childhood trauma.  Men and women that fall into the gray area […]
What do you do when life happens? Just when you think things are going well for you in life, it happens. Something doesn’t go your way. How do you respond? What is your response?  If you’re like most people, it’s anger, frustration, disappointment, sadness and a myriad of other emotions. But what if you knew it was supposed to be that way? What would you think then? Would you be accepting of this? What do […]
What I’ve found in working with clients, and in my own life, is that the behaviors we typically engage in to relieve stress can oftentimes become addictive and they can actually prevent us from enjoying vibrant health, fulfilling relationships, and career advancement that we deeply desire.  We find ourselves living in what I like to call a “gray area” of life. A place where we intuitively know we’re capable of so much more but just […]
When you are carrying the weight of worry, stress, fear and overwhelm, your life can be quite messy. How are you supposed to handle these times? If you are like most people, you were never taught the “how”. Our brains are wired to be reactive in a fearful situation. It’s our fight or flight response. This is a good thing as we need to be reactive when our life is in danger. But in everyday […]
There’s a new term emerging, sober shaming.  So what is sober shaming?  It’s when you decide not to drink and your friends & family give you a hard time about it. Say what? Let’s get this straight… You decide to do something healthy for yourself, get control of your habits, lose a little weight perhaps, save some money, and you’re getting harassed for it? How could this be?  Why is alcohol the only drug we […]
As a ‘hurry-up’ society, we have programmed ourselves to be BUSY.  We believe to be busy means successful or accomplished. We may even think it means to be productive. The truth is busy just means to be distracted.  If you’re honest, you have said multiple times, “I’m too busy.” We wrap ourselves with things to do to feel productive. The problem with this thinking is that you aren’t prioritizing your needs and desires; thus creating […]
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When I first heard the term ‘sober-curious,’ I didn’t know what it meant. It seemed obvious enough, but was it really that literal?  The answer is YES. It means to be curious about what it might be like to not drink alcohol. For those ready to take a break from drinking or just curious to know what life could be like without alcohol, this is the perfect place to start. It has a feeling of […]
Have you experienced an angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other, both giving you conflicting directions? Of course, you have. It’s the very essence of being human.  The internal conflict is real. When we experience two conflicting thoughts that are incongruent with one another, this is referred to as cognitive dissonance. The definition, according to Merriam Webster: psychological conflict resulting from incongruous beliefs and attitudes held simultaneously.  According to Word Hippo, their […]
Alcohol  – you either like it, love it or you choose to leave it. Wherever you find yourself, you can benefit from learning how it plays a part in your life.  Question the Drink is just that, question why you’re drinking. It is a conversation starter, a seed to be planted, and a little nugget of reality.  Why is this important? Because far too often, we find ourselves not paying attention to the “why” and […]
Let’s get real with one another, shall we?  Very few people that love to drink alcohol want to stop completely. If you are like most people, this means you. What you really want is to learn how to moderate your consumption. Maybe you are at the point of recognizing your overindulgence at times. Have you said quietly to yourself that you should cut back? Alternatively, you promised you would only have a few glasses but […]
Have you asked yourself, “Am I an Alcoholic?” Ah yes, the ultimate question. The granddaddy of questions that brings an overabundance of unwanted embarrassment and shame. Let’s be real! Nobody wants to learn they may be a problematic drinker. Not one person strives to earn that title. It’s natural to ask this question when you’re drinking an entire bottle of wine instead of just one glass. Or maybe you’re downing a six-pack of beer after […]
I bet you have heard a flight attendant give the spiel about the importance of using an oxygen mask on yourself before assisting a young child. Why is that? Because if you can’t help yourself first, you are of no use to anyone else. That is also true as you question the drink. It is essential to provide yourself with self-care and self-love. It is okay to be a little self-centered during the initial timeframe […]
Have you ever pulled out a piece of paper, drew a hard vertical line down the center and wrote PROS and CONS at the top to make a decision? When you are ready to question your relationship with alcohol, try this legendary exercise. Mark at the top, “Reasons to Keep Drinking and Reasons to Quit Drinking.” It is truly eye-opening to see what transpires on paper.   My own personal list was startling. It went […]
Gray Area Drinking has become a sobering reality that affects millions of people worldwide. For far too long, society has placed problematic drinking in a black or white box. One is either an alcoholic or they are not. That is simply not true. About 50% of people that consume alcohol may be in the gray area. What exactly does it mean to be in the gray area? Gray area drinking is comprised of a wide […]
So, you have made the choice to try an alcohol-free life for a few days, weeks, months, or longer.  Awesome! Now what? The reality of having a rewarding social life or having fun may seem next to impossible without drinking. I know this, I have been there. First and foremost, the key to success is knowing how to prepare, plan, execute and report your findings. It doesn’t have to be hard but will take some […]
THE POWER OF “I AM” If you’re familiar with the famous story of Moses and the burning bush, you know the power in these words. While we aren’t God, there is power in internally verbalizing, or outwardly expressing what we say. This becomes powerful and life-changing, or soul-destroying and potentially damaging. In most traditional types of recovery programs, it is encouraged that you use the “I am” statement. You know, the famous; “Hi, I’m \_\_\_\_\_\_ […]
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# What is Gray Area Drinking?
Gray Area Drinking has become a sobering reality that affects millions of people worldwide.
For far too long, society has placed problematic drinking in a black or white box. One is *either* an alcoholic or they are not. That is simply not true. About 50% of people that consume alcohol may be in the gray area.
What exactly does it mean to be in the gray area?
Gray area drinking is comprised of a wide spectrum of drinkers. It is someone that is between a social drinker and severely abusing alcohol.
Typically, a gray area drinker ***has not*** experienced a “rock bottom” or a major life-altering impact.
It is someone that appears to be living a very normal life from the outside, but internally, a gray area drinker might be experiencing shame, guilt, and embarrassment for their habits.
To give an example, a gray area drinker may have a few glasses of wine per day or perhaps binge drink on the weekends. Another example is someone that may be able to abstain several days in a row, or weeks to *prove* to themselves that they are “normal drinkers”, but it often doesn’t last.
A gray area drinker could also binge drink on occasion.
What is a binge drinker?
When we think of the typical binge drinker, we may automatically think of the college student that is in a fraternity or sorority. They drink themselves into oblivion while downing massive amounts of beer through the infamous beer bong.
Binge drinkers are not just college students, of course. They can also include professionals, stay-at-home parents, *or anyone* for that matter.
By definition, they consume more than 4 drinks in one sitting (women) and more than 5 drinks (men) in under two hours. \*
One in four adults binge drink on a regular basis. When binge drinking occurs in 5 or more days in a month’s time, this leads to heavy alcohol consumption. This is when the scale quickly turns to severe alcohol abuse disorder.
Let’s look at the typical four types of drinkers:
1. The Non-Drinker -an abstainer or teetotaler
3. The Social Drinker. This person could easily have one drink on occasion and has no desire to consume alcohol on a regular basis. They are content at “just a few” from time to time.
5. The Gray Area Drinker– This spectrum covers a wide range of drinkers and behaviors. They are in the space between socially drinking and severely abusing alcohol.\*
7. The Severe Abuser – someone that is physically and psychologically dependent on alcohol.
Most gray area drinkers realize that saying no to the 2nd or 3rd drink is hard to do. They also drink more often than they intend. This leads to more shame, negative self-talk, and embarrassment. It is a constant power struggle of energy to keep up the facade that they’re fine. They most likely feel like an imposter, or that they are pretending to have it all together.
If this sounds like you, you’re not alone. About 50% of drinkers may be in the gray area, and are beginning to ***question the drink.\****
For gray area drinkers, *drinking is a choice.*
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#### Hi! I’m Kari Schwear, Founder of GrayTonic, and the Question the Drink movement.
I’m a perpetual life-learner, a 7x career path conqueror, Executive Lifestyle Coach, Author, and Speaker. I’m also a former hot mess that was stuck in several gray areas of my life (drinking being the top one!) and wondering how I got there. This blog is a columniation of my methodology, teachings, beliefs, and personal struggles that I’ve endured over the years. I hope it blesses you.
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