Maybe you can just be a friend to her right now. Your girlfriend sounds like she's dealing with a lot, you sound like you care a lot about her. Maybe she is relying on old ways because she is stuck in a loop.


The thing is you can be a friend to her and an advocate for her without getting stuck in that loop yourself. She may not realize what she really needs is a friend to teach her how to work on being a friend. Maybe if the way that you helped her best is by showing her that she can maintain a friendship. Then hopefully she can start implementing that in other parts of her life rather than repeating the same self sabotaging cycle (circumstances aside) as a way to cope with her chaos and trauma. 

I know that your initial intention was just to have a girlfriend but, do you think you could just be friends? It seems that you do love her but in the way that you have love for her and want her to be well. But it also seems like you yourself are trying to figure out how to make it on your own. And that's just as important. 

As far as housing, because that's just a basic human necessity, is there a way that you guys could sit down and help find her temporary to permanent safe housing? I know you said that your mom does not want her there, which is understandable, but it would be worth its weight and gold the time that could be spent finding her- her own place to stay. 

And lastly, I would say encourage your friend to seek counseling. It's more than likely that she is suffering from PTSD amongst other things. Even if she couldn't afford anything, they still have options (even online) available. 

You've done a really good job for your girlfriend with this far, but if you really feel this way, the best thing you could do is just be honest with her. Good luck!