Fair is fair.

My wife and I split the household chores.  She works 40 hours, I work 45.  I have a longer commute.  We're both salaried and make about the same money, we have two kids.

Kid event planning &amp; appointments: Her

Neighbor issues &amp; contractors: Me

Accounting: Her

Driving: Me

Bathrooms: Her

Vacuuming: Me

Floor Washing: Her

Dishes: Me

Kids in the AM (Lunches, ready for school): Her

Kids in the PM (bedtime, teeth brushing): Me

See where it's going?  We each have different duties assigned to us based on what felt like a fair compromise. We overlap without griping as long as the other compensates in turn.  I give her time and support, she gives me time and support.  We've agreed that if she ever didn't have to work because I got a great job, she'd pick up all the slack at home - and vice-versa.

Your husband sounds like he wants someone to clean up after him more than he wants to be in a partnership with someone.  You need to have a serious talk about this before it develops into acidic resentment.