What Schrödinger’s cat REALLY means

So my take on the double slit experiment is that the particles are not real, they are discrete quanta of energy caused by excitations in the EM quantum field.

The problem with the wave/particle thing as an analogy for what's happening at a quantum level (which we cannot directly observe) is we are only thinking about the particle moving from one place to another, and not the entire experiment as a system that is interacting with itself, and so we place a huge burden on the particle/wave to explain everything we observe.

When it is "detected" it at the far side, there is a discrete quanta of energy discharged, but the same discrete quanta is also absorbed, and in doing so, the detector is changed. But why one location, and not a smear? Well, electrons simply don't behave like that (Pauli exclusion principle). There has to be room in an available electron shell for one electron worth of energy.

The detector measures a discrete quanta of energy by reacting with and absorbing a particle worth of energy,, which falls to a lower energy state, which we know from the photoelectric effect, happens at discrete quanta. 

The quantum states of the receiving end, the randomized locations and temporary changes in distribution of electrons (like via London dispersion forces) around the atoms on the detector, determine who has room to absorb an electron's worth of energy.

So it isn't that spooky or weird right? At least, that's the understanding that I have come to on my own.