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# Tips for co-parenting during COVID-19
Posted:
November
9,
2020
in
Family Law
The COVID-19 pandemic has challenged day-to-day life in many ways. For many divorced or separated mothers and fathers, this has been felt most acutely with co-parenting. , even exes with a strong, healthy relationship are not immune, as efforts to establish a “shared pandemic protocol, or not,” has resulted in many families feeling “exhausted, frustrated and — most of all — anxious.”
How can you get through this period of uncertainty relatively unscathed? Here are four suggestions.
## Consult the parenting plans
The pandemic has not done anything to change existing child custody or parenting time orders. In general, parents are expected . Sometimes this may not be realistic, particularly if there are pressing health concerns.
You can consider trying to obtain a new court order that would modify the parenting plan. With the status of courts in flux, it is a good idea to speak to your lawyer about this. However, another good option is to talk to your child’s other parent. Explain the situation and try to reach an amicable solution.
## Be flexible with unpredictable changes
It is important to remain flexible. Of course, you should not agree to anything that would put your child in harm’s way. However, there may be times where a certain arrangement will not work for your former partner due to unforeseen or difficult circumstances. Giving a little bit now may help your partner show similar flexibility when you need some slack later.
## Get predictable changes in writing
If you and a former partner want to make any longer-term changes, document it somewhere. While not a court order, this can be beneficial if there is a dispute later on. Changing the holiday schedule to reduce exposure or using virtual visitation on a regular basis if there are virus concerns, are examples of situations that may warrant documentation.
## Keep the lines of communication open
Above all, communicate. If you are feeling unsure about something, explain why. If you are not worried about an item and the other parent is very concerned, talk about it. , such as a health expert, to help you find middle ground.
Life has been upended. In many ways, comfort and predictability have gone with it. Refusing to discuss these changes will not help anything.
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# Can a divorced parent move with a child to a different state?
6,
One of the most difficult adjustments a parent must make following a divorce is with their children. The new situation, involving separate households potentially miles apart, means the time you spend together is half of what it once was.
So what happens when one parent wants to move? Are they allowed to do so without any hindrance?
## Moving within Michigan
First, consider a scenario where one parent wants to move but will remain within the state of Michigan. If the new domicile is within 100 miles of the child’s home at the time of the initial order, the law generally affords them the freedom to do so. This applies to both parents, regardless of the custody arrangement.
However, if a parent wants to move more than 100 miles away from where the child lived at the onset of the family law case, . The judge will weigh a variety of factors, and the non-moving parent can file an objection.
There are five potential factors that may negate this 100-mile rule, meaning the moving parent will not need permission from a judge:
* If the moving parent has sole legal custody, and can still follow the parenting time arrangement
* The non-moving parent permits the move
* The parents were residing more than 100 miles apart when the case began
* The moving parent’s new residence will be closer to the non-moving parent’s home
* There is a specific provision in the custody order
## Moving to a different state
This situation is, in some ways, more straightforward than a move within Michigan. If a parent that has custody of their child wants to move to a different state, . It does not matter if the move is less than 100 miles.
In addition, the custody arrangement – sole or joint – is irrelevant. And even if both parents agree to the move, the matter should be taken to a judge.
The judge will consider what is in the best interests of the child, and a parent has an opportunity to object to the out-of-state move.
A child custody arrangement is a delicate matter, requiring both parents to balance a variety of factors. A big move might upset this balance. While Michigan’s laws may seem strict, but they protect the parent-child relationship.
# Tips to protect your reputation in a divorce
5,
Divorce is hard in so many ways. It affects your present and your future. Going through a particularly contentious divorce increases both your emotional and financial hardships, often for months or years.
With that said, our family law attorneys want you to know that you can decrease your hardships by following the three simple guidelines in the section below. While this might not turn a bitter divorce into a completely amicable one, it can protect you from a devastating character attack on the part of your spouse.
**Beware of social media**: We all enjoy connecting with people through Facebook and other platforms. However, the things you reveal through  can work against you when divorcing. A good rule of thumb is to avoid social media until your divorce is complete. If you choose to make public posts anyway, avoid discussing your spouse, your kids and your divorce.
**Rein in your bitterness**: Emotions like anger and bitterness can cause you to say or do things that you would never do before your divorce. Avoid giving in to the urge to disparage your spouse in any way. Like social media use, the things you say and do can harm your side of the divorce.
**Let honesty be your guide**: Regardless of anything you might prefer to keep secret, it is wise to be completely forthcoming in a divorce, especially when speaking with an attorney. Remaining honest helps you and your lawyer prevent your spouse and their counsel from blindsiding you by revealing your deepest secrets.
If you have questions about how to navigate a divorce, contact an experienced divorce attorney.
# Virtual visitation may become standard in divorce settlements
June
Now more than ever, the technologies available for staying in contact with loved ones are indispensable. Not only can people stay connected during these strange times, but parents can stay in contact with their children.
In fact, the concept of virtual visitation could gain traction here in Michigan and across the country and become a standard part of divorce settlements.
Not all states have laws , but that does not mean parents cannot put it into their parenting plans on their own. Staying in contact with the children despite not being with them physically can be a vitally important part of the parent-child relationship. Having daily contact can help ease children through the transition that comes with a divorce. It can also help keep those relationships strong.
## Examples of virtual arrangements
Parents can agree to allow each other to have FaceTime or Skype calls with the children when they are in the physical custody of the other parent. They can agree to allow for this time at some point and to let the children have uninterrupted and unsupervised time with the other parent this way. Parents can help with homework, talk about their days and otherwise keep up with the children’s activities, feelings and more.
Even if a Michigan court cannot order virtual visitation during the  process, the parents can include it in any agreement they come to on their own. Through the use of negotiations and mediation, the parties have the opportunity to think outside the box and include provisions they believe will best benefit their families.
Working this into any viable parenting plan could help not only the children, but the parents who miss them as well.
# Sharing custody after a toxic divorce
8,
In today’s society, celebrities, the media and others herald the virtues of co-parenting. The problem is that not every divorce can support that type of parenting arrangement.
Some Michigan couples’ situations are so toxic that they need to find another way to parent that does not require them to be in constant communication or to share the same space with each other.
 can help accomplish that since it requires the parents to have as little in-person communication as possible. The parties choose a method of communication that is only used to share information about the children. Email is often a good choice since it allows each party to sit back and think about how to respond without emotions getting in the way.
A parallel parenting plan includes this information along with a detailed parenting time schedule, a way to resolve conflicts and more. Parents can tailor the plan to better fit their situation. They can even include some agreements regarding not interfering with each other’s parenting time, not speaking ill of each other in front of the children and even a basic household routine to provide the children with consistency.
The point is to make sure that the children see as little of the conflict between the parents as possible.
Another thing that parents need to remember is that they each have rights that deserve protecting. By working with a competent and compassionate family law attorney here in Michigan, this and the other aspects of the  may go more smoothly and each party could walk away feeling satisfied that he or she received a fair and equitable settlement.