I wouldn't try to hold her like that when she tries to leave. She'll come back, Just give her a second. Especially if she freaks out. Respect her autonomy and boundaries. + I think this is a conversation you should be having with her (Assuming you guys are in a healthy relationship). Questions like: "Do you want to talk about what happened the other night?", "You didn't seem yourself the other night. Do you want to talk about what you were feeling to make you shout?"
Put extra emphasis on respecting her boundaries. If she doesn't want to talk about it, support her until she does. Don't try to force it out. Sympathy is key.

I'm also a little unsure about your relationship as the age gap is large and the way you talk about "pulling her back" etc seems a little weird. Have you considered the relationships dynamics and what effect it has on you individually?