Not as a medical worker, but as a daughter, my father told me to get a handle on myself before dying. He was referencing my bossiness specifically, but the way he said it, it meant everything. He had never had a chance to address my suicide attempts or subsequent self-medicating alcoholism, so telling me to “get a handle on myself” still haunts me to this day. I kissed his forehead and told him that this may be who I am, but as he smiled his final toothy grin at me, I knew I would spend the rest of my life fighting to be better.