You sound so fucking compassionate.

&gt;But do you really think that he’d go as far as to be attracted to his own daughter? 

Anybody who tells you they have an actual answer to this better have a PhD in psychology or neuroscience. Incest avoidance and age targets are two phenomena controlled by substances in the brain. I don't know how they interact. I'm just saying if I found out my girlfriend was into "shota" (childlike boys) I don't think I'd want her to have access to where a son sleeps and bathes, you know?

If I knew you IRL I'd buy you a bottle of wine and just let you get it out. This is incredibly stressful for both of you, and I admire you for not knee-jerk reacting and screaming that he is a child rapist. From the sound of it he has really kept his brain's impulses in check, which should be appreciated.

I hope y'all will find a good trusted therapist and that you can work through this.