You want good food? You'd be better off smuggling goat cheese in your boot and risking an anal cavity search for doing so than eating at this airport.

You want scenery? Try desert.


You want a comfortable seat to wait for your delayed flight?  Well you are in the desert so you'd probably better off finding a cactus and straddling it face first.

You want a relatively close connection for your flight? Well tough shit.  Oh yeah, they've got people movers but somehow they have this magical ability to disengage people's legs.  Yeah I know it sounds crazy but as soon as people step on to these things their legs stop moving and they plant their fat ass right in the middle of the walk way.  Whats wrong with your legs you mammoth!?