Ok, long comment alert, but here's the thing: Whether you love someone and whether you want to be actually dating them are two different things. It is really hard to realize this when we're young; we tend to spend our pre-teen years imagining that if only our crushes just liked us back everything would be great forever. But that's not always the case...

To me it sounds like you enjoy and value and care about this person-- and you're right, that's what love is!-- BUT the "being in a Relationship" aspect of things is giving you some very heavy anxiety. You're majorly overthinking how you're "supposed" to feel, you're not identifying with all the poetic nonsense so you think something must be wrong with you, and you think that the fact that your stressed out must mean you're doing something wrong. That's a really tough thing to be going through, and it's SO hard to find any useful advice. I really feel for you, and I'm here to tell you what I really wish someone had told me when I was your age: there's absolutely nothing wrong with you, and it's going to be ok.

The whole "friend love vs romantic love" thing is not the binary everyone says it is. They talk about it like "you just Know" but in real life, even when you are truly "in love" with someone, you're not going to feel That Feeling about them 100% of the time. People don't want to acknowledge this, but it's true; sadly, because people don't acknowledge it, sometimes they do what Testaccount\_2 is advising, and think "it must not have been real then" and leave. The distinction between romantic love and "friend love" is actually a lot more complex, and varies for each person. For me, it's Admiration (I think they're a kind, fascinating, intelligent person!) + Chemistry (We're sexually attracted to each other!) + Compatibility (we get along, communicate well, and want the same kind of relationship at the same time!) If there's only two out of three, no matter which two, I won't date the person. But that's my definition, and it took me decades to come up with it. You have your whole life to come up with one for yourself, if you want to; but it is 100% totally normal that you don't have it figured out at 16. I didn't either. You are FINE.

So give yourself a break. Stop trying to figure out what you need to do in terms of "Is This Real Love", and start looking at the actual aspects of the relationship that are making you so anxious.

The big one is, maybe you're just not ready to date. That really might be true and it's really fine if it is. For one thing, you're only 16, for another thing-- and I can't stress this enough-- dating is OPTIONAL. It is not required. You do not have to date someone, even if you love them and they love you. "Dating is stressing me out and I need to not be doing it" is a totally valid reason to break up, even if the other person has done nothing wrong. They might not be happy to hear it, they might even cry, but you're also not doing them any favors by continuing a relationship that's not fun for you.

If you do want to continue trying to date M, maybe you need to re-evaluate how much time you spend together. Do you want more space? Ask for space! Do you need to back off from the whole "we must always text at X time" thing because it makes you feel pressured? Ease up on that! You are young enough that statistically, your relationship will probably not last forever, and that's ok. Your relationship with M is not an identity, it's an experience. If you want to have this experience, make sure it's a good experience. When you feel anxious, don't think "I'm broken." Think "Hmm, I'm feeling very anxious, what is stressing me out?" I can practically guarantee that the answer won't be "this isn't real love" but rather something that you or your partner (or just, you know, life) is actually doing that isn't sitting well with you.

This took me so long to learn as a logic-focused nerd kid, but telling yourself "I shouldn't be feeling this!!!" is absolutely useless and only harms you. You ARE feeling this way, and the ONLY way to help yourself is to acknowledge the feeling and try to figure out what's actually causing it and how to address that. If you judge the feeling and bottle it up, you WILL eventually do something about it, but you won't be making a conscious choice, you'll just be reacting and what you do may not be the best solution.

This is your life. It's okay to make mistakes, it's okay to be unsure, and it okay to ask for what you need.