as a guy i would never say its your fault or if you where better i'd want it more. i think thats fucked up and completely uncalled for in any relationship. there were days my ex wouldn't be in the mood and i'd take a shower and jack it. she never had an issue with it and there were days were i'd be too tired and she'd go play with herself. if it's an issue in your relationship maybe you should figure out why it's such an issue? do you consider it cheating? jealousy?