&gt;i had become so excited to be a mom and my boyfriend was excited and ready to step up and be the daddy that my child needed.
&gt;

OP, why would you think that a man you had just met and was 3 MONTHS out of rehab was capable of stepping up to be a father to a baby that wasn't his?

&gt;we had many conversations that week and came to the agreement to try again once i was ready. (we had only been dating about 3 months at this point. i know that is not long and it isn’t smart to try to have a child with someone you met 5 months ago,
&gt;

If you know it's not smart, WHY ARE YOU DOING IT? You are making a long list of poor, rash decisions. You got pregnant at 18, by intention is what I am gathering, broke up with the father, immediately got into a relationship with a recovering drug addict, and decided to start trying for a baby with said addict after a tragic miscarriage. You are 19 years old, working at Dunkin' Donuts. Your boyfriend has hardly been sober a year. That is nothing for a recovering addict. Recovery is just beginning for him.

Why on earth ate you so desperate to have a baby right now? Why would you WANT to have a baby at 19, with a minimum wage job, no college education. You don't have your life figured out. What kind of life can you provide for this child? Why would you subject a baby to this?

Everything happens for a reason. I will probably get downvoted for this, but it is a GOOD thing you haven't gotten pregnant.