What happened to my face

My physics rule of thumb - NEVER go on / in the ocean! 
I've nearly died THREE TIMES on the ocean. The last time, our Royal Caribbean Cruise captain thought he'd sail from Mexico, back to Miami THROUGH HURRICANE KATRINA in 2005!!
Did he "prove" it could be done? Well, yes. BUT, that "½-billion" pounds of ship weight listed over 45º port & starboard as he hit each wall. 
Thusly, if you never again surf, you will never be decapitated by a surfboard. 
You're welcome. 😉