You are literally leaving the door open to cheat again no matter how much you said you won't.  You cheated on  your BF, felt guilty but not guilty enough to block him completely? 

&gt; Honestly, I dont know. I just dont have the strength to block and cut him off completely.  

You want a chance to see him again.  You want to hook up with him again.  Unless you are totally honest with yourself.  You have no chance in hell in saving your current relationship.