Nah when you’re married you make a vow to forsake all others. He’s a grown adult. Receiving little to no sex in your marriage is not an excuse to cheat. Especially if they haven’t previously discussed it first. And it certainly won’t earn you any sympathy just because you’re conflicted or feel guilty. He thinks he’s breaking a boundary, and it’s causing him to lie to his wife. So yes, I blame him. 100%. Get therapy. Talk to your wife. Talk about an open relationship. Find a solution together Ffs. But to go behind your wife’s back and pursue your own selfish interests and potentially tear apart your family (under the pretense she WOULDNT be okay with the affair) all while lying to her face every single day is vile and disgusting.