Two month fling with a 40+ y/o busboy that lives with his parents after OP and her have had 5 (FUCKING FIVE!!) children together. So I’m assuming she works at this restaurant/hotel/whatever as well, which leads me to believe that OP is the clear breadwinner here. My parents went through a really rough divorce but they still had more respect for each than this. What lesson are you teaching your wife OP? That she can admit to an affair, “take time to think about it”, and you still welcome her back with open arms? There’s not much to think about. She’s taking advantage of you in every way. Not to mention, she might be getting her shit together to try and serve you and get custody of your kids. In most states if she files she in all likelihood will win. Then you jeopardize losing this dream house of yours, your kids, a large amount of your salary to support 5 kids on child support (assuming she continues only working two days a week), and on top of it all - busboy probably moving into the house you worked so hard to get. OP please read this, You need to lawyer up and serve her before she gets her ducks in a row and serves you. You have a lot more to lose than just her. Cut and run now. Take your kids, keep your house. After time you’ll start dating again when you’re ready. If I’ve learned anything from my parents, it’s that you don’t have to be under 50 to fall in love with someone that treats you right. As a kid from a broken family, yeah it sucks seeing your parents split up... but seeing them genuinely happy with people that actually treat them right is so much more rewarding and is the reason that I still believe that you can love someone. At this point, she doesn’t love you. She probably hasn’t for some time now. But now she’s comfortable... OP you really have only one option here and I think you know it, you just needed to hear it bluntly from reddit first.