Discovery Bank does NOT want you as a new customer
The advertising standards authority ought to pick up on this, it does NOT take "minutes" to open an account, in fact it may not even be possible if you don't have a smart phone. I spent 2 hours going back and forth trying to find out how to upload documents on the website. You cannot even login to the website without getting verification through the useless App on your phone, which on my phone keeps hanging and goes into an endless loop of logging in all the time. And forget about the help line, they only work to scripts and the so-called "banker" I spoke to couldn't care less about losing a potential customer. 
Maybe Discovery has simply got too big, but it certainly doesn't seem to care if it gets new customers or not. They have become the personification of ineptitude.