AY. DIOS. MIO.

The Platano Paleta is a day-maker. There's caramel, creamy, frozen chunks of banana, and añejo rum all swirled together on one wooden stick. At least five different people asked me what I was eating and where they could get it as I walked down Mill Avenue, vainly trying not to make eye contact with anyone while eating a popsicle. If you're looking for something new and interesting (and sexy, as popsicles go), eating one of these would be more effective in drowning one's sorrows than a pint of ice cream.

For the more timid, or perhaps just fans of classic flavors, the Fresa con Crema actually smells and tastes of a fresh, organic strawberry upon first bite, until the flavor of rich cream overwhelms the taste buds to create a perfect harmony of awesome and more awesome. Anyone who's partial to artificial strawberry flavor over that of a real strawberry should a) avoid this paleta and b) reprogram your mouth and possibly reevaluate your life. 

Pure fruit lovers, even you cannot escape the appeal of Paletas Betty. The Pura Piña is almost just a frozen pineapple on a stick, but much more exciting. It's a sweet, delectable confection filled with pineapple pieces and a consistency that's closer to creamy than it is to icy, even though this one's totally vegan. It also contains some sort of hallucinogen that will make you think you're in Jamaica for a short period of time.

Go. Eat. Prosper. You'll probably see me there with a paleta in each hand.