I give this perspective as a neat freak myself and as someone who has been with my partner for 20 years who is not st all a neat and tidy person.  

So the starting place for this conversation is that you need to accept that there is no right way to keep a home so long as it is safe to live there and that’s much dirtier than he keeps it.   

While you feel incredibly strongly about what your base level of clean and tidy is, that strong feeling or even cultural norms don’t make it right or even normal, it just means that that is your preferred way.  

Likewise, his level of clean and tidy and the importance is holds in his like is not right or wrong.  

From that place you then need to acknowledge that there is a significant gap between your preferred levels of clean and tidy.  It is not his obligation to meet your desired level of clean, it is a gift  to you if he does so.  

You are allowed to be unhappy and even disgusted with his level of clean and tidy but not to say that he is wrong with the way he likes to live.  

Now onto the dynamic.  
1). You need to accept that he will never see mess in the same way you do.  It will never bother him as much as it does you and he will never prioritise it in the same way you do.  
2) You also need to accept that he doesn’t owe it to you or to himself to meet your level of tidy and clean. 
3) You can make deals and make requests, you can shower him with gratitude and you can make it easy for him to clean and tidy in a way that works for you, but it’s unlikely that he will meet your criteria because he won’t even see the home in the same way.  
4) You can’t parent him - that dynamic will destroy your sex life and your relationship. 
5) If he’s awesome, he may work hard and meet you much of the way it at least some of the way, much of the time.  You will then need to decide if you life with a bit of mess or if you make up the difference while not holding it against him. 

No one is perfect.  If you have found a person who is underwear a wonderful match and he’s a great person and you two find a lot of happiness together, my advice is that you learn to work with this. He’s okay with you cleaning and tidying and that’s helpful too.  He may also be willing to do some things that are important to him and to you but that you also hate in order to see up for the lack of cleaning. For example, he may do all the shopping and and cooking while you tidy and clean. That can make it feel more balanced.