Your wife is in the wrong, but something like this probably shouldn't be hashed out in texts.

When I call to talk to my children, I expect to talk to them. But you didn't call. You texted to have the kids call you. Instead of putting the burden of showing affection on them, show *your* attention directly by calling.

Your wife shouldn't give them the option of talking to you or make excuses for them. It should be, "Your dad is on the phone. Stop what you're doing and talk to him."

Also, you say you're involved, but take a hard look and see just how positively interactive you are with your kids. I swear my husband (who has very much improved as the kids have gotten older) was on the road to not having a relationship with our kids outside of yelling. The FaceTime and calling while you're visiting family screams showing off to me. Look at what a great Dad I am!

Your relationship with your kids is your problem, but you and your wife should be working together to build it. You need to put in the effort and she needs to facilitate. It appears you are putting in some effort, but she's not interested at all in facilitating. Does she play into being the favorite?