Hi HN community,
first off, I'm writing from a throwaway account and the following problems might sound superfluous or insignificant for people well past my age, so I'm sorry in advance. To set the contex, I'm someone who is turning 23 years old this year.Having spent a good proportion of the last decade in programming and mathematics - a time which brought me many joyful moments - I've also spent a significant amount of time, maybe even reaching the zenith in the past months, being very depressed, lonely, socially anxious; all are obvious hindrances in life.For some inexplicable reason, a short circuit in my brain lead me to believe that creating a Tinder account might be a countermeasure for not feeling lonely anymore.Seeing in the profile pictures what "normal", "well-rounded" people in my age are doing on Tinder, such as traveling, spending time with friends, etc., made my pain even worse, let alone the fact that I received zero matches. Feeling like a social outcast, and having an even stronger urge now in taking my own life - a decision I contemplated many times - ... I just feel very lost in life. I know that I'm a complete failure in life.Over the years I've gotten to know this community quite well. I know that I'm probably not alone in dealing with these problems.My hope is that, as so often, you people might have an insight, an idea, words of wisdom, or anecdotal experience in trying to rationalize my current feelings and situation. Thank you.