Look, I am Japanese and I get it that there are some long standing traditions in our cultures. But at some point we need to ask ourselves *why* we follow these tradions: is it because its nessisary for our economy or because someone is greedy?

Women are in the workforce and arent being looked at as homemakers and child factories anymore. This sounds like a bride price and not a dowry. There is no need to pay her family money because she is a "dead weight" or second class citizen. Tradions like these are sexist and insulting: she isnt an object to be bartered over ffs its 2019. 10k is a massive amount of money that could have been better spent on furthering your life not blowing on some old age practice for the sake of heritage. 

That said, 3 years isnt as much time as you think. You have your whole life to live finding out what you want and on your terms. Good for you for not backing down for what you believe is right and following your intuition. Life is a one road highway and to self yourself short is soul crushing.