text: Is exactly my question. I've been dealing with this for the last two years with my fiance. He doesn't like me going anywhere unless he is with me, I'm definitely not allowed to go hang out with my friends that are guys (even if he is with me), and if I do go out, he wants to know where I am going, who I'll be with, what I plan on doing, and what time I plan on coming home. He snoops through my phone call log, text messages, and my Facebook messages. I can't even just say hi to a guy without him giving me the third degree about it. Who's that? How do you know him? Is he an ex? Did you have sex with him? He blames it entirely on the fact that he has issues from a past relationship where his ex cheated on him several times, and now he has trust issues because he is scared it will happen again. I went through the same exact situation that he went through with my ex girlfriend. I spent 2 years with that girl, just to find out it was wasted because the whole time she cheated on me. But do I have trust issues with him? Do I use it as an excuse to be insecure? Do I snoop through his phone to know what he is doing and who he is talking to? No, because the past is the past and he isn't the one who wronged me. I've been with him for 2 years now, and I've never given him a reason not to trust me. And I should also mention that we do have a daughter together, too. I don't plan on just up and leaving him after 2 years and a child together, even if I could. I do love him, but it is getting to the point that I just can't handle it anymore and I want to leave. What if it gets worse? If it hasn't changed at all in the last 2 years, it never will. I've tried everything to get him to realize that I won't do anything to compomise that, but he just won't get it. I've even had to take my daughter and go stay at my moms before because I couldn't take it anymore. It just keeps going full circle back to his ex and those problems. What should I do?
  I should add though, he is NOT a horrible person. Except for moments like stated above, everything is great with us. Everything else about him lights up my life, and that is why I love him. He is wonderful to our daughter, and he does take care of us, especially when I was pregnant and didn't have a job. He supported me my whole pregnancy and stuck by my side. His insecurity is the only flaw about him and our relationship. So by no means am I trying to give you the impression that he is a mean, abusive, controlling freak, because he isn't. Keep that in mind. |