text: The fat guy behind the counter of your local record store, you know the guy with the chili dog-stained NRBQ t-shirt stretched over a slave trader's physique, will wax righteously about the shambling genius of Beefheart's Trout Mask Replica, flecks of cheeto dust will fly from his foamy maw as he vehemently lauds that particular album as a monument of avant-tard expression, an unparalleled work of unfathomable importance. Well, fuck that guy. Beefheart's real work of genius was actually his first album, Safe As Milk, and all the cowardly authorities on rock, so afraid to diverge from the popular opinion, will fail to recognize this in their vain attempts to seem erudite and possessing sophisticated taste. Safe As Milk, like Trout Mask Replica has Beefheart's distinct guitar skronk, dustbowl vocalizing, and Dadaist non sequitur lyrics but it also has something that Trout Mask Replica lacks: cohesive songs. Safe As Milk contains songs that swing, and breathe, and bounce, and lurch, with a gritty fumble that seems natural, and not as self aware as the Captain's later work. This is precisely why it should be the Beefheart album getting the attention and accolades of know-it-all music jerks the world over. See for yourself, and don't be surprised if this post gets pulled soon by some crack legal team.