text: Wonkette, The World's Last Website!
  I'm sick. Please send tea and money.
  HELLO I am working from bed and probably strep throat, and neither rain (it's a stunningly beautiful day out actually) nor snow nor the rest of it will stop me from reminding you that YOU are what keeps Wonkette going, and why will nothing stop me? Because I skipped last month. (August was great. I hate doing a moneybeg after a great month, like "oh help us help us" when WE ARE FINE. I would be a very bad pastor.) Luckily, I can't skip two months in a row or what would happen? WE WOULD DIE!
  So there you have it. We would die.
  If you are one of the 923,000 readers who joined us in September (out of 927,000) and didn't send us any money, and if you are able, sending us money sure would be swell, and please click the widget and remember to click monthly if you can and then choose "paypal" or "stripe" or your payment will not go through! Or you can join us at Patreon, if you like wee gifties. Or you can send a check in the mail to WONKETTE, PO Box 38273, Detroit MI 48238.
  And why are you keeping Wonkette going? Because we are the world's last website. And we got no ads, and we got no paywall, because information wants to be freeeeeee and also Daily Caller and Breitbart and that Dan Bongino guy on Faceborg are all free, and who's going to counter that kind of disinfo? ONLY US, THE WORLD'S LAST WEBSITE.
  That's right, we are doing God's work, and you are paying us to do God's work. I would be a good pastor after all. The end.