text: Squiz Today / 06 July 2020
  Squiz Today – Monday, 6 July
  “A nine-month-old dog can have puppies, so we already knew that the 1:7 ratio wasn't an accurate measure of age."
  Said University of California researcher Trey Ideker of the new formula to give your pooch a human age. Food for thought: a 1yo pup compares to a 30yo human. Which explains some 30yos we know…
  HARD LOCKDOWN MEASURES COME TO MELBOURNE
  The residents of nine public housing towers in Melbourne have been placed under the harshest lockdown conditions of the coronavirus pandemic in Australia to date. Banned from leaving their homes in Flemington and North Melbourne for at least five days, the 3,000 residents will be kept in their 1,300 apartments by 500 police officers who are monitoring the towers. The extreme measures come after Victoria added more than 760 new cases of COVID-19 in the last fortnight, with many via community transmission. That includes 108 new cases on Saturday, and 74 yesterday. And things aren’t going to improve in the short-term, Premier Daniel Andrews said. There will be “some big days, some big numbers in the days ahead.”
  THAT’S FULL ON…
  It sure is. And while officials say they need five days to test residents from when the lockdown was announced on Saturday, Premier Daniel Andrews hinted that the lockdown could last longer if people refuse to be tested. So why has the state significantly stepped it up? Because of “patterns of movement, friendship groups, family groups,” within the towers, Andrews said, which could lead to the mass spread of the virus beyond the areas of Melbourne they are currently concerned about. In the meantime, residents will receive financial hardship payments, rent relief and activity packs. Twelve postcodes in Melbourne are subject to stage 3 lockdown restrictions with two more added on the weekend.
  AND WHAT’S HAPPENING FURTHER AFIELD?
  The number of new COVID-19 cases around the world clocked 212,326 cases in 24 hours on the weekend - another record high, the World Health Organisation says. It’s super concerned about the rate of the rise in new cases, particularly in nations that got a handle on things, eased restrictions, and saw a spike in new cases. The US continues to log big numbers, including from the likes of California, Texas and Florida. And parts of northern Spain have been put back into lockdown with outbreaks following the easing of restrictions there. At the other end of the spectrum is the UK. Thousands have cleared away the cobwebs after more than three months of being denied a “proper pint”.
  SQUIZ THE REST
  LABOR CLAIMS THE WIN IN EDEN-MONARO
  Only hardcore political tragics made it deep into Saturday night’s vote count with the high number of early votes stalling proceedings for hours. But by mid-yesterday, Labor’s Kristy McBain was feeling confident enough to claim victory saying she has a lead on her Liberal opponent Fiona Kotvojs that will be near impossible to catch. McBain finished 737 votes ahead yesterday, and the Electoral Commission is now waiting until the end of next week for all the postal votes to come in before declaring the final result. Looking at the primary vote results so far, Labor took a 3.2% hit (which pundits put down to former MP Mike Kelly's personal following), the Liberals were up almost 1.3%, the Nationals were down a smidge (which is the technical term for 0.5%), and the Greens' vote was down by 3.2% on the last election.
  Belgian-born/West Aussie Finance Minister Mathias Cormann yesterday confirmed what political insiders have speculated about for months - he’s leaving politics. The life of a senior federal pollie based in WA is tough, and at almost 50yo, he says he’s looking forward to a new career and more time with his family. "There is a physical limit to how long you can do this job,” he said yesterday. And that limit was reached as the nation's longest-serving finance minister - and he’s the only minister to have retained the role he was given when former PM Tony Abbott was elected to government in 2013. Fun fact: Cormann studied law in Belgium, but his degree wasn’t recognised here, so he started out as a volunteer in a Liberal Senator's office in the mid-90s. He will depart stage right at the end of the year. Cue Cabinet reshuffle jostling…
  PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGNING TAKES OFF
  Commentators said it was less an American Independence Day address from a sitting president, and more a campaign speech as President Donald Trump laid down some political tracks that we're likely to hear more on as November's election looms. Vowing to "safeguard our values" from leftists, looters, agitators, Trump said; "We will never allow an angry mob to tear down our statues, erase our history, indoctrinate our children.” He also promised to establish a ‘National Garden of American Heroes’ that will pay tribute to some of the most prominent figures in US history - a collection of people one critic described as “just so random". If you thought things weren't interesting enough, Christian Billionaire Genius Kanye West (a name change he’s considering... ) says he's entering the race. Tesla/SpaceX entrepreneur Elon Musk is excited. It’s enough to make you speed-eat a hotdog or 75…
  PRESSURE ON PRINCE ANDREW
  Following the arrest of dead financier Jeffrey Epstein’s former flame Ghislaine Maxwell last week over accusations she was complicit in the trafficking and abuse of girls as young as 14yo, the spotlight has fallen on her mate Prince Andrew. Maxwell's the woman who introduced him to Epstein's high-powered American world, Andrew said in the car crash that was his interview with the BBC late last year. US prosecutors say they “would like to talk” to Andrew following Maxwell's arrest, and his legal team says they've indicated he's available, but he hasn't been followed up. Maxwell's ties to Andrew were in focus yesterday as a picture emerged where she’s sitting on a throne in Buckingham Palace with actor Kevin Spacey (who has also been accused of sexual misconduct). And as any kid will tell you, there’s nothing worse than being sprung in the good room with your mates…
  APROPOS OF NOTHING
  The hairstyles of the characters on the US version of The Office were a big deal. If you’re a fan, this interview with the head hairstylist is illuminating, including the time they gave Jim (aka John Krasinski) a wig….
  If you’re thinking about microwaving your library books to zap the coronavirus into oblivion, please don’t…
  We can’t think of another piece of investigative journalism that’s more important than this. That’s not to say we agree with it - we have a lot of feelings about the conclusions it’s reached… But without further ado, here’s the definitive ranking of potato in all its forms.
  SQUIZ THE DAY
  International Kissing Day
  Birthdays for the Dalai Lama (1935), George W Bush (1946), Sylvester Stallone (1946), Geoffrey Rush (1951), Hilary Mantel (1952) and 50 Cent (1975)
  • the release of Forrest Gump (1994)
  • the release of Pokémon Go (2016)
  • the anniversary of the birthdays of Frida Kahlo (1907) and Nancy Reagan (1921)
  The Squiz Archive
  Want to check out Squiz Today from the archive?
  Get the Squiz Today newsletter
  It's a quick read and doesn't take itself too seriously. Get on it.