text: Feeling stuck about next steps is generally a state of ambivalence—wanting something different without clarity of knowing what or how. Having mixed feelings are at once a good indication there is something important to figure out and is its own prison if the ambivalence keeps you from moving forward.
  Ambivalence feels a bit like sticky mud, molasses, fog, a seesaw—choose your own metaphor. To some extent this is a necessary stage, however uncomfortable. Yet eventually, a decision needs to be made which usually involves letting go of something significant enough to hold us back. The question is, what is so significant:
  · A personal narrative that no longer serves us well?
  · Fear of making a mistake?
  · A misplaced expectation?
  A starting point is to shift how we talk to ourselves. Next time ambivalence creeps up and is taking too much space—try stating “what if (what you want) and (what you want)”:
  · What if I made a salary proportionate to my experience and I felt appreciated?
  · What if I retired and flourished?
  · What if my significant other and I grew closer and got married?
  · What if I moved out of my parents’ house and made ends meet?