text: Greetings Soylentils! This is your captain and overlord of editors Dopefish speaking, with an exciting announcement.
  I'm pleased to announce that we have two freshly minted editors added to our team here at SoylentNews and their handles are janrinok and girlwhowaspluggedout. They have demonstrated a passion for the site through their submissions and contributions via comments.
  With these new additions to our editorial staff, we will keep pushing the site to new heights and help increase the number of quality submissions that post to the main page for all to see and enjoy. Furthermore, janrinok and girlwhowaspluggedout are based out of France and Israel, respectively, which should both improve editor coverage during the hours when the Americas are asleep and, more significantly, help us post news that appeals to international members of our community.
  Thank you all for your continued interest in SoylentNews and keep up the good fight! This is Dopefish signing off.
  [ED Note: "Per the feedback reflected in the comments, I changed any mentions of 'audience' to 'the community', which better reflects who we are."]
  which is more appropriate: *eye-roll* or *face-palm* ?
  Maybe he was saying it with extra irony, and had no intention being unwelcoming. Maybe he thinks that women like having their physical attractiveness up for discussion at any time so his remarks are bound to help grow the community.
  Hmmm ... okay, I'll go for *eye-roll*