116_https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbEDPU1ICcY_overcoming issues at school
gpt
Molly, thank you so much for coming over and yakking with me today.
human
You're welcome.
gpt
Yeah, I appreciate it. So, um, uh, your mom had given me a call and said that, um, um, there were some problems with kids kinda given you problems at school and being mean and things like that, and, uh, that's a hurtful thing.
human
Yeah. I stayed home two times already from school just 'cause of the bullying and everything.
gpt
That's a- that's a lot of school to, yeah, and, you know--
human
And as I was out of school like more rumors started to happen as I was out of school. I come back and like these rumors are going around about me. Like one time when I stayed home, supposedly, I was in the principal's office the whole day and I had security guards like escort me to classes which that was not true 'cause I was home the whole time.
gpt
People like to make up stories.
human
I've been getting blamed ever since like fifth or sixth grade about with every single thing that's going on.
gpt
For, like why do you think, wh-what kinds of-
human
I think because the kids-- 'cause I like to nag on things. Like when people tell me things, I like to like talk more like with the person instead of just leaving it be, and I think the kids that like blame me for everything say that I'm an easy target to like hit, to like talk about, it's like annoying.
gpt
So it's, uh, so when you were talking about like nagging on, tell me a little bit more about, can you give me an example of what you mean?
human
If somebody says like, "Oh, I heard this thing about you." I go, "Oh, really, what is it," and I just keep talking and like make things worse. Like, if somebody says that they wanna beat me up, I like go on, and say like, "Okay, then hit me," and like I just don't leave it be, like I just don't walk away. I like stay there and like talk more.
gpt
And-and what happens when you don't leave it be, what usually happens?
human
I think possibly more like talking more like it gets like bigger and bigger. It's just like if you stop it, then they don't know what to say, they-they're like, "Oh, like she's walking away." And like that stops everything but like if I talk it-it keeps building up and we both get in trouble-
gpt
Okay.
human
-and like called down to the principal's office.
gpt
Okay.
human
-and get talked to.
gpt
Okay, so and then what-what's it like for you after that, once you get spanked in the principal's office?
human
Well, usually I try telling myself to just like, leave it be-
gpt
Mm-hmm.
human
-but if somebody says something about me, it gets me mad 'cause like what the heck, like you're talking about me so like I try to stop but sometimes I just say like a few words. Like I think now I'm trying to get like better.
gpt
Mm-hmm.
human
Like there's this one incident that somebody was talking to me, I just said like, "Oh, wow, this is like really lame, like I'm just gonna leave," and I like let the conversation be.
gpt
That's pretty cool that you did that.
human
Yeah. I felt proud of myself.
gpt
You should be proud of yourself, and how did you do that?
human
I was just like thinking of like when I'm- whenever I like I'm saying like stuff back, mom gets really mad at me, she's like, "Well, I'm not gonna help you anymore." 'Cause, she tells me to like leave it be, but I really don't lis-listen to her so she gets mad. So I tried like thinking of like her feelings and like what would happen after if I say, "This is lame, leave me alone," 'cause then they'll like stop and I won't get like yelled at anymore.
gpt
Uh, that says a lot about you and your mom's relationship though that you can kind of put yourself in her head and think about how she would feel about it.
human
Yeah.
gpt
You know what I mean? It's pretty cool, not everybody can do that, so. So you could kind of put yourself ahead, uh, it's almost like watching a movie ahead-
human
Yeah.
gpt
-and knowing how it's gonna turn out.
human
'Cause usually, if I get in trouble, mom gives me the silent treatment that I don't like. It's like she doesn't talk to me, I'm like trying to talk to her, she don't like wheezing being like, uh, I don't like it.
gpt
That's the worst, the silent treatment.
human
Yeah.
gpt
Yeah, so, um, so but that worked for you, where you just let it go, you thought about your mom, you like what we would call like, you channeled to your mom, you know, and, uh, channeling mom, and then, um, you were able to walk away, and you were proud of yourself and nothing bad happened.
human
Yeah.
gpt
Is that right?
human
Yeah.
gpt
Does it--
human
Like they all like stopped talking to me, and the funny thing was that their eighth-graders that like didn't even go to my old school like I don't even know how they said of talking to me, I was like, creepy.
gpt
Yeah, so- and so when you- when somebody else told you that they or people said you that you're an easy target, um.
human
Well, they don't really say that to me like I just like think that 'cause that's what I've like heard from my mom, and people talking to me 'cause I keep talking to them-
gpt
Okay.
human
-so they keep coming back at me.
gpt
Okay, so they-they kinda know how to hook you.
human
Mm-hmm.
gpt
-and reel you in-
human
Yeah.
gpt
-right, and get you upset. And then bad things happen and then you get in trouble.
human
Yeah. [chuckles] That happens a lot.
gpt
Yeah. So, yeah. And it's, uh-- So, um-- so you-you know that when you're kind of channeling your mom, that helps. It sounds like you taught yourself almost. Like there's-
human
Yeah.
gpt
-a conversation inside. What other ideas do you have about what you could do?
human
I was thinking of like, um, if I'm like at school like a peep things are happening during class-
gpt
Mm-hmm.
human
-I just say, can I use the washroom or something to go like walk and like think of like how to like leave them be. And one time during my gym class, there's this girl that I had her like not talking early. And we're playing pickleball, I don't know if you know that, it's like a-
gpt
I don't know what pickleball is.
human
-it's like a badminton, big life-size ping pong ball game.
gpt
It looks like a pickleball?
human
Yeah, you have like a big bracket—
gpt
There's no pickle?
human
No.
gpt
Okay.
human
No, [chuckles] there's no pick.
gpt
I wanted to pickle and stuff.
human
Mm-hmm. And like I was supposed to be like again turn. I told my-- I went to my gym teacher like silently and said I can't be by this person, can I move to the next court. So he like switched us around so I won't be by her. And that like happened.
gpt
That's a really good decision.
human
The girls like what the heck like.
gpt
Yeah. No, but how smart on your part to know that if you would- if you would had to play with her, something bad would've happened.
human
Yeah. Like I would like smacked her in the face or some- [laughs]
gpt
You knew that.
human
-or something.
gpt
Right? You knew that. So-
human
Yeah.
gpt
So you know actually which kids-
human
Yeah, that's like—
gpt
-know how to push your buttons that real you in.
human
Yeah, there's like four main ones but not that like I can say who.
gpt
That's okay. That's-- Yeah, 'cause it's not important. The important thing is for you to be happy. And, uh--
human
And the friends that I have like I know are my true friends, They're like ones that don't really 'cause drama or like—
gpt
Uh-huh.
human
I mean, they might but like they're not like bad and they actually like help me. Like some of these girls that like so-called friends like-
gpt
Uh-huh.
human
-They're like they come to me saying like, "Oh, did you really have to like punch this girl." I'm like, "No." It's like you're not a friend if you'd actually believe that, you know what I mean?
gpt
Yeah.
human
Yeah, it's kind of annoying, 'cause it's kind of hard like going into high school and like knowing how to believe and who not to believe.
gpt
Yeah. That's-- that-- it's-it's really big unknown territory. Pressure High School class is probably 1,000 kids.
human
Yeah, 1,003.
gpt
1,003 kids.
human
And then there's the sophomores also that you have like another 1,000, so it's like—
gpt
2,000-
human
Yeah.
gpt
-potential enemies, friends, who knows which ones.
human
Yeah, with these like the first rumors had started going around about like my friend and I, and like I lost him just 'cause of rumors. It's like, what the heck. Like I couldn't get over him for like gosh, who knows, it was like three months and I finally just had got over him.
gpt
That must have been hard for you.
human
Yeah.
gpt
Yeah.
human
I was like really, you're probably just jealous 'cause I was friends with him or something.
gpt
Mm-hmm. So but finally after three months, time went by-
human
Yeah.
gpt
-and you got--
human
I just found like other people and just like forgot about it.
gpt
Okay. And so how else do you identify who your friends are that you can really trust who have your back?
human
I say the ones that like not even that I've known the longest, but like the ones that actually hang out with me a lot, or like texting me a lot, or like calling. And the ones that are actually like that helped you before with like situations. And that they tell you stuff and they know they can trust you. Like one of my friends tells me everything about her. And like that's how I know she's a good friend 'cause she trusts me with things.
gpt
You trust her back then?
human
Yeah.
gpt
Okay. Well, that makes a lot of sense that people-- it goes both ways.
human
Mm-hmm.
gpt
You know. And, um-- So and for you, friends that, um, kind of, um, give you the attention that you'd like to have. Texting you-
human
Yeah.
gpt
-calling and you hanging out with you, and stuff like that, rather than pretending to be a friend-
human
Mm-hmm.
gpt
-when you know maybe they're gonna--
human
Yeah, that happens a lot with me with like a lot of friends. Like this one person like we've been friends since like-- Well, we were friends since fourth grade.
gpt
Mm-hmm.
human
And like she just starts like lying and like just talking smack about me. And it's like, you're not a good friend then. Like I thought you were a friend since you've been my friend since our fourth grade.
gpt
Mm-hmm.
human
And she just like causes a lot of drama now. And like she came- Like the friends I met at high school, she came like into them like, you're not gonna know-- In college, you're not gonna know who to follow 'cause-- since you keep following with my friends, what are you gonna do in college like not being able to find your own friends? It's kind of annoying 'cause they're my friends and like I can't be by her and she comes to my friends. It's like-
gpt
Mm-hmm.
human
-get your own friends, [chuckles] stop following me.
gpt
Mm-hmm. Wh-what don't you like about her?
human
She just lies a lot and like just starts dramas about me and I haven't even talked to her like since eight grade. We only went to school together and she just like makes me lose other friends 'cause of the drama she starts
gpt
Okay. So she sounds like she's, um--
human
A nobody. I'm gonna say that. She's like—
gpt
Or-or not worth your time.
human
Yeah.
gpt
She's not worth your time. So what would it be like for you to really just spend time with the friends that you know are really--
human
I do spend time with them. Like I hang out with them a lot.
gpt
Good. That's really good. Yeah. And if-if you need like some extra support from them--
human
Ask for it. Yeah.
gpt
Right, and what kind of things do you ask from them?
human
I just ask them like if I'm like gonna get like sent down to the principal's office for like something happening, I call them to come down to, like, support my, like, backup information.
gpt
'Cause they can do that. They can- they can kinda give you some, uh, information like, uh, um-- they can give some accurate information, um, and back up your story versus the other person's story.
human
Yeah.
gpt
So, okay. So we're-- You know what? Um, it sounds like you actually have some pretty good ideas about, um, how to handle this, and yet kids are-- I know kids-- actually, adults can be really mean too. But, um, I know in high school, i-it's really bad.
human
Yeah.
gpt
So I'm wondering if, um, uh, if-if you wanted to, we could get together again and continue to talk 'cause you-you've got some good ideas already. And I'm very open that if you wanted to bring any of your good friends in, that that would also be totally cool too.
human
Yeah.
gpt
So would that be something--
human
Yeah, there's one friend that might wanna like talk about it.
gpt
Yeah.
human
And she's really like-- she doesn't know, like, who to talk 'cause her mom is not always there for her.
gpt
Okay.
human
And so like she's like doesn't know where to go.
gpt
Yeah.
human
Like she doesn't know who to believe.
gpt
Well, I would want this session though to be for you though, Molly.
human
Yeah.
gpt
I mean I'm willing to see her too, you know.
human
Yeah.
gpt
It sounds like she really needs-- she'd like someone to listen to her.
human
Yeah.
gpt
Yeah. So, um, we could maybe talk about some other ways of, um, helping, uh, deal with this because, um, it does sound like, um, people are, you know, just being plain old mean to you for no good darn reason.
human
Mm-hmm.
gpt
Yeah. And, um, so you'd be willing to come back and talk about it then? Okay. All right. And I just wanna let you know that I think that you're, um, really doing a good job of-of, uh, dealing with how hard it is to be in high school, 'cause it is hard.
human
Yeah.
gpt
It is.
human
I've noticed that.
gpt
Yeah. And it is hard, and-and I-I think it gets better. My experience was it got a little better. The freshman and sophomore year, you know.
human
Mm-hmm.
gpt
But, um, anyway, I think you are hanging in there beautifully, and I love hearing that you're involved in swimming and some other things 'cause they must help connect you up with some pretty-- I would hope-
human
Yeah.
gpt
-[unintelligible 00:13:12] people. So okay, anything else? No? Okay. All right.
human
Mm-hmm.
gpt
Thank you.