79_https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZEdbK0VFXU_recognising success
human
Something clicked, I'd had a bunch to drink and, uh, and I knew I'd messed up. I totally messed up.
gpt
How did you know you messed up?
human
Because I was- because I was right there, man. I was right there in the same place when I'd come home and I'd pop a couple of those pills, it was the same deal, like and I wanted to stay there. I wanted to stay exactly right there. And I just felt like I'd ruined everything. You know, Erin's using the phone now, and he called me the next day and it was, uh, great, but I kinda felt ashamed of myself, and I don't want to feel that way again.
gpt
Was it that something happened, um, where you put something that was really important to you at risk? Is that what that was about, um, when you say you felt guilty, uh, you felt bad talking to Erin on the phone?
human
Because of what-- Yeah, I guess, I think that's what I mean, yeah, yeah. Because you know, I mean- I mean I could have stayed, I could have got, I could have got absolutely hammered and I could have done it every night for the rest of the week.
gpt
So you saw yourself putting something that was important to you at risk.
human
But I don't know if I stopped because I knew I had to stop or because, you know, it was like right there, that's where I wanted to stay, you know? Anyway, I just, uh-- [crosstalk].
gpt
Here you are actually, three months on, three long months as you say, um, and things have been going really well, Uh, you even get a bit of—
human
They're better, yeah.
gpt
Yeah. Well, and then you get the kind of, I don't know if it felt like a green light or a yellow, it went from red to cautionary, you could see your kids, and that was something that was really what you were working for.
human
Yeah, yeah.