95_https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhpTJMKVsmg_reducing self-harm
gpt
Right. Hi, Ruth, thank you for coming today. How are you?
human
Um, okay. Just, I don't even know why I'm doing this anymore. I'm-I'm just so stupid. I'm such an idiot. I didn't know what the point of-of this is. I just- I just keep doing the same thing over and over, even though I know it can kill me. I just, I don't have any more willpower, ma'am. Yeah, [foreign language].
gpt
Well, Ruth, it sounds like you're very frustrated first of all. And you're saying that you're just tired. You've lost all your willpower.
human
Mm-hmm.
gpt
You don't want to continue.
human
No, it just seems that cutting myself is the only way out. And I just get suicidal thoughts and [foreign language], I'm just very, very like depressed and what's going on at home.
gpt
So you feel really, really like you've had it up to here.
human
Yeah.
gpt
Yeah. You're-you're tired. You're stressed. You feel so sad to the point that you're hurting yourself physically so that you can feel something other than what you're feeling right now.
human
Yes. Sometimes a pain in-in the body. It's, uh, to [unintelligible 00:01:27] handle and-and the pain inside of me.
gpt
So you were in a lot of pain?
human
Yes. I am.
gpt
I'm sorry about that. It must be very, very frustrating to feel all that pain and not be able to do anything about it. And it seems like the only thing that you can do right now is to cry.
human
Yeah, yeah, suicide.
gpt
It's okay, Ruth. I understand. Pain inside.
human
[foreign language]
gpt
So your mom doesn't understand you and you don't have a dad, that's around?
human
Yeah, 'cause she's a single mom and she struggles a lot. I wanna help her, but I can't help her. So it just makes me sad. I feel like if I don't live anymore, she'll be okay. And she wouldn't have to worry about me or pay my stuff.
gpt
So you feel like your hands are tied, you feel like you're a burden to mom. She's a single parent. She works a lot. You have all of these problems in your life. And it sounds to me like you feel like you're just adding more problems to her.
human
Yeah.
gpt
And if you're not alive, that's gonna solve the issue for her. She'll do better.
human
I-I think so?
gpt
How is she gonna be better off without you?
human
Because it won't be a burden to her.
gpt
And how are you a burden now?
human
Because she has to pay for my food and my uniforms, um, to have a roof over our heads.
gpt
And how do you help her now?
human
Um, I try to be a good kid. I tried to go to school. I may not have the best grades, but I'm not failing any classes.
gpt
Okay. So then even by you coming here today, Ruth, and talking to me and opening up and telling me that you don't feel like you want to continue moving in and telling me and-and confiding in me that, you know, you hurt yourself and all this pain that you feel, that is you trying to help yourself out in one way or another. And that shows that you care. And even more, it shows that you care about your mom and that, in the end, it doesn't sound like you wanna leave her alone because you're still worried about ot-you're still worried about all the burdens on her that you're even thinking of removing yourselves to make her life easier. That shows me that you care about her so, so much, but right now the immediate solution that you have in your mind, it seems like it's-it's-
human
That's the right one.
gpt
-How could it be the right one? Ending your life hurting yourself when it's just you and your mom. And you just said, she's a single parent. She doesn't have a husband, you don't have a dad. It's just the two of you. So how could it be the right choice? But I understand your pain and I know where you're coming from. And I know that the release that you feel physically is something that helps you in the moment. Are there other things that we can help you find to start replacing, um, that behavior?
human
Um, I don't know. I don't know. It's just, um, I'm not sure I can.
gpt
You're not sure. So you have a lot of on your mind right now. You just opened up to me. You told me that you've been cutting, that you've also been thinking about hurting yourself, killing yourself, not being here. Short-term, the cutting is helping you. You feel like a burden to mom, that stresses you out. That makes you sad. You see how much she struggles, but also on the same hand, we see how much you've been trying and how much you've been trying to help out by trying to go to school. We know your attendance is good. You go most of the time, you know, you're trying to keep up your grades.You have a C average, even having A in math, which we know was the lowest grade you had all semester. So all of those things shows how much effort you've put in and we see that effort. So you've been doing what you can and it's normal to feel like sometimes it's not enough. But that's-that's what we're here for so that you can tell us those things and we can help you.
human
Thank you, ma'am, I feel better.
gpt
Oh, thank you, Ruth. Thank you for coming today.
human
Okay.