" 

 == Wrong Woman == 

 A guy is in line at the supermarket when he notices that a rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him. He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar, he can't place where he might know her from, so he says ""Sorry, do you know me?""  

 She replies ""I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children.""  

 His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful. ""Holy crap,"" he says, ""are you that stripper from my bachelor party that I screwed on the pool table in front of all my friends while your girlfriend whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my behind?""  

 ""No,"" she replies, ""I'm your son's English teacher 

  
 laptop battery cheap 
 cheap diamonds"