" 

 ::::: I think that might be better. I mean, it's factual that sex addiction isn't in the DSM and no one quite agrees on the specific diagnosis. The characteristic points of sex addiction are the real items that are disputed, basically as you've outlined. I can definitely see where your points are coming from. I do want to try and give you some perspective (mine). I guess this is the point where I out myself as a sex addict. I'm in a much better place right now than I was 18 months ago, so I can look back and remember certain emotions/behaviours. Preoccupation to me is more than just thinking about it often and wanting it. Yes, that did indeed form a component with daydreaming and the whole bit. Up to a point, I believe that is normal, especially in puberty and in sexually charged situations like bars or strip clubs. But there is a line that gets crossed, preoccupation then becomes disruptive. I stopped going to sleep because I wanted it. I would seduce people at work. It was stupid and potentially destructive behaviour. That is the line.  
 :::::Ritual, i'll concede, getting gussied up to go to the bar every night is something a lot of people do, and while I might question anyone who does it every night, I think that one may be too vague to ever really draw a line. I would frequently engage in behaviours that resulted in sex, with great compulsion (surfing the web, etc.), but I'm not sure that made me any different than a lotto player.  
 :::::Despair is when I hit rock bottom, was having unprotected sex with strangers, and the realization that this fucking sucked (pardon the colloquialism). At the same time, it was just depression, and just one of a million roads to get there. But yeah, the controversy is more in the symptoms than anything. ""How is this different from being normal?""  
 :::::Just because I started sharing. I should say that I'm not trying to change your mind on whether it exists. I believe it does though. In any case, the story continued with trying to get help from a 12-step program, but believe me, being a woman in an all-male group didn't fly well. I found out I was a lucky girl when all was said and done. I met my present partner, and for a long while I thought I was getting better, but honestly, I'm not, I'm just in a socially acceptable outlet for my behaviour. I mean, the goal of the 12-step program is to stop objectifying people and no masturbation (ever) or sex until marriage. I didn't last long enough to know if it worked, but from my POV the sex after marriage was somewhat masking the symptoms in a socially acceptable role, and the no masturbation ever was making a normal act into a taboo one. I know that said that marriage was acceptable because marriage is a union under god in which you show true love and bring children into the world. I'm still not sure how I feel about that one. 
 :::::I don't think I'm ever going to be completely well in this regard, so I work hard in my relationship and with any luck I won't be single any time soon to see where I really am in my progress, because that frankly scares me. Anyhow, take it as you will, but I do think when behaviour crosses a line and works towards destroying your life, and you keep doing it and you're not sure if you can stop, then I call it addiction. "