5 TV Shows I Wish I Could Unsee

Like everyone else, I’ve seen my share of television shows I disliked.

Some simply weren’t my taste while others were objectively awful, and usually it’s not a big deal. No harm, no foul; I just move on to something else.

Once in a while, though, a show hits me so wrong that it sticks with me, burrowing into my brain like an irritating bug until I want to scoop it out with a melon baller.

Here are five such shows that I wish I could go back in time and unsee.

[Warning: There are some spoilers in the following discussion]

JOEY

I loved Friends. I laughed (and occasionally cried) with them through ugly naked guy poking, the endless Ross-Rachel rollercoaster (I don’t care that you were on a break, Ross!) and God knows how many cups of coffee at Central Perk. When it was announced that Matt LeBlanc was spinning off Joey, I thought it had a chance since it had worked for Frasier when Cheers ended. Wishful thinking on my part; obviously, but I wasn’t quite ready to let go.

A few episodes of Joey later, and I couldn’t run away fast enough.

The show wasn’t funny and Joey was no longer loveable-just dumber, more deluded, and much more grating. I wished I hadn’t made the move to LA with him because it made me miss Friends even more.

COUPLING (USA)

As a fan of the original Coupling, I had to check out the American version despite, shall we say, less than stellar reviews. I ended up only watching two episodes, but that was more than enough (and it didn’t last much longer than that, anyway).

Why were the jokes I had laughed at uproariously in the UK version suddenly so unfunny, and how is it possible that none of the actors had any chemistry?

In an especially cruel trick, BBC America showed the UK version of the Coupling episode immediately after NBC aired its version. The difference in quality between the two was embarrassing and made me suspicious of any future American remakes.

HOARDERS

This one is my fault.

I have clutter issues–I know this, and yet one night while flipping through the channels, I landed on a Hoarders marathon and couldn’t look away.

This show is both disturbing and riveting on so many levels. While I squirmed at the disgusting “living” conditions with the piles upon piles of paper, trinkets, and garbage, the people destroyed me. This is a serious illness on display for everyone to gawk at as if it were a train wreck. I know I couldn’t look away. At least not until an episode involving animals came on and the sheer horror of that broke the spell.

I had nightmares for a week, and I’ve never watched another episode, but I wish I could forget the ones I did see.

VIVA LAUGHLIN

I hadn’t seen Viva Blackpool, the British miniseries upon which Viva Laughlin was based, but Hugh Jackman in a musical murder mystery show? Come on! I thought it would be delicious.

Instead it was bland, clichéd, almost incomprehensible, and flat-out terrible with some of the worst dialogue ever uttered. And don’t get me started on the not quite lip synching but not really singing, either.

This show made Cop Rock look Emmy-worthy .

PERSONS UNKNOWN

Not only do I wish I could unsee Persons Unknown, I wish I could forget it ever existed.

I originally thought it was a fascinating idea for a show-seven strangers wake up in a strange hotel in a deserted town with no idea how they got there. So many possibilities, and while the pilot was just okay, there was a tremendous amount of promise, so I created a season pass.

Big mistake. Huge.

It went steadily downhill after the pilot meandering down blind plot alleys and never quite settling on a tone with characters who became less interesting as the show wore on. I still stayed with it because I had to know how it would end, and NBC promised we would get answers.

Ha! Persons Unknown spun its rusty wheels, looping back and forth and creating giant plot holes in the process, until the finale when we got–nothing. We still didn’t know what the “Program” was and the characters we had hoped would escape were once again stuck. Sure, some of them had made it to level two in the middle of the ocean, but I didn’t spend thirteen hours to find out the whole show was just a video game.

Most maddening finale I have ever seen.

Worse, I had to listen to my husband complain about “that God awful show you made me watch” for a month and he still brings it up if I suggest a new show. “It’s not going to be like that terrible Persons Unknown, is it?” Sigh.

If I had Hermione’s time turner, those are the shows I would go back and unsee. What about you? Are there any shows that you wish you could erase from your memory? Let me know in the comments.