Greetings, all.

My apologies for this being a few days late. I have zero excuses. I went out with some friends after the gym Friday night, and I was only suppose to be out for an hour or so, because I had to write the new article to get it in on time. Well…one rum & coke turned into several, and the only writing I was doing was an email to let 411 know I’d be a day late. My bad, guys, sorry.

I’ve covered my 3 favorite films in the Nightmare franchise, and while I intended to finish out October by talking about my least favorite, I realized this year that October had 5 Monday’s packed into it. So, instead of just talking about my least favorite, I thought I’d talk about all the rest in this article, along with my favorite VHS covers. I don’t know what it is, but the 80’s horror VHS covers are some of the most awesome looking things I’ve ever seen. Also, I figured, why just have a look at Nightmare’s VHS covers? Because the offerings in Crystal Lake were pretty sweet at times too.

Tune in next week as we finish off October with my all time favorite horror film. And if you’re wondering what your boy thinks of the Friday The 13th franchise, look no further than my platinum selling ebook, My Summer Vacation At Camp Crystal Lake. A complete collection of my review of the Friday The 13th franchise, done Man Movie Encyclopedia style, along with a few countdown lists, and a center fold that features me in a hot-tub with a hockey mask on.

Alrighty, let’s get it.

FIVE – JASON GOES TO HELL

Despite what you want to say about this film, you can’t deny the cover is pretty sweet. Back in the day, the cover, in some cases, were 3D. The mask & the snake deal were raised up. Either way, the cover absolutely drew me in as a kid, because I’d been looking at all these others for a while, years, even and here was this brightly colored one, with a bright, shiny mask, and the snake demon. Really, I had zero idea what was going on. Was Jason going to fight a snake demon? Was a snake demon going to be a tag-team partner? On the back Jason looked awesome, and clearly he was going to be all over that film….right?

FOUR – FRIDAY THE 13TH PART V: A NEW BEGINNING

I know, I know, people hate this one, with few cats like me who actually dig it. Regardless, the simple cover is great. Because for 2 films, we knew Jason as the hulking dude in the beat up, rough looking hockey mask. It’s a very iconic look, one that as a kid I knew like the back of my hand. So, I was always so fascinated with this cover. I mean, who’s mask is this?! It’s so clean, and looks nothing like Jason’s. Also, the back of it showed a guy with a meat-clever in his neck, and Jason with blue on his mask. There were so many questions asked with this thing, and regardless, I just love the red glow and clean, white mask.

THREE – FRIDAY THE 13TH

Although I honestly don’t like this film, the cover is absolutely iconic. It’s perfect. You’ve got the outline of the killer, unknown in the first, with the woods background and a group of worried looking people huddled together under the moon. Honestly, it’s something that would catch your attention if you hadn’t seen the films. The back always disappointed me though, ho-hum.

TWO – FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 4: THE FINAL CHAPTER

C’mon, this cover is the definition of iconic. Who couldn’t love this? You’ve got Jason’s mask, beaten up and damaged, sitting in a pool of blood, with a knife through the eye hole. I wanted to see this one so badly as a kid, because I couldn’t imagine Jason actually getting it, and I’d wondered so badly how it was going to be done. Unfortunately, it’s not featured here, but on the back you had a shot of Tommy Jarvis in the mask, and I couldn’t even wrap my mind around that! An alien?! Do aliens kill Jason?! So many questions. But regardless, a timeless cover and one of the all time greats.

ONE – FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN

Sure, Part 4 is probably more iconic, but Jason Takes Manhattan is one of my all time favorites. I mean, look at that motherfucker! You’ve got New York [actually, it’s Vancouver], with Jason looming over it, ready to take that bad bitch! I love how they work the knife in, with a choice of cool colors on the bottom, and on top they’ve got Jason in reds & oranges, creating a fantastic contrast. It’s just a fantastic piece of art. The back is nice and simple, where we actually see Jason, and he’s super pissed. Like, he looks so angry, he looks like if he knew your middle name, he’d totally middle name you, he’s that angry. Fantastic stuff.

FIVE – A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET

Honestly, I never dug this cover at all. It doesn’t pull you in. Even the larger version doesn’t say much, and serves only like abstract art, really. I mean, it’s a close up of a girl’s face, and a few of Freddy’s claws. When I was a kid, I never looked at this one, at all. The back wasn’t much better, really, as it’s just a still of the scene where Freddy is attacking the mother. Yawn.

FOUR – A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET PART 5: THE DREAM CHILD

As an adult, it’s a pretty sweet looking cover. You have Freddy, in all his glory, standing over a pram that looks like it’s been to hell and back. It’s all front to a bright blue background, which frames everything perfectly. The back cover has you wondering what the fuck is going on, as there’s a twisted looking child, a woman with huge cheeks that looks like she’s about to explode. If you hadn’t seen this film, you’d be wondering just what the hell was going on.

Now, truth time, I haven’t seen this film in 24 years. As a child I wasn’t allowed to watch NOES films, my mom thought they were too much. Well, one day when I was 9, I was over at a friend’s house and their parents rented Part 5. Everyone wanted to watch, and I didn’t want to be a wimp. I wish I had though. There was a scene where Freddy keeps feeding a woman her own intestines until she dies. I mean…I couldn’t even begin to tell you how much that traumatized me, haha. I just couldn’t get over it. And because of that, I haven’t seen it again. I mean, I know it’s not nearly as bad as I thought, but I feel like I’d be betraying my 9 year old self for going back for a second viewing. I do love the comic book scene though.

THREE – A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2: FREDDY’S REVENGE

I’m sorry, but isn’t the first film Freddy’s revenge? Shouldn’t this one just be Freddy’s Sour Grapes? There’s a poster that’s some what similar to the first 4, but for some reason this was the cover I always saw as a kid, and I love it. It absolutely pops. The yellow & blue are an awesome contrast, and Freddy looks absolutely menacing. If you notice at the bottom, it’s rows of houses, so it’s like Freddy is tearing into the real world, which was the idea in this film. The back always interested me, because I wanted to know how the kid got Freddy’s glove, and what he was going to do with it.

As for the film, there’s a lot to hate, but there’s also a lot of fun to it. For one, I think Freddy has never looked better. He looked menacing, terrifying, even. I loved the red & yellow contacts, something I wish they’d have kept. While the deaths aren’t very cool, we get awesome moments like Freddy popping out of a body, which is one of the best moments of the whole franchise, and Freddy peeling off his skin to show his brain, great stuff. But, yeah, it’s a pretty flawed film, especially considering it was compared to the original.

TWO – A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 4: THE DREAM MASTER

Oh hell yeah. This was, and remains, fantastic. There was so much that would draw this to me at the video store. First off was Freddy tearing up his own face, which looked great with the popped out eye ball. Then you had a junkyard setting with the claws coming up from the ground, and these far nicer eyes in the middle of it all. It’s fucking art. Then on the back, the entire thing is engulfed in flames, with Freddy baring his chest of souls, something that really blew my mind as a kid. I had zero idea what the fuck was going on. They chose great stills too. I wondered what/ that robot arm was, and thought perhaps we’d see Freddy as a cyborg or something. Fantastic stuff.

ONE – A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: DREAM WARRIORS

My favorite of the series is also my favorite VHS cover. As a kid, despite my trauma, I wanted to see Dream Warriors so badly. I mean, how could I not? Look at that cover! It was bathed in a dreamy blue, with Freddy’s face covering the top portion. His claws are stretched out, with each Dream Warrior walking along, ready for the fray. I thought that was so cool, these cats who weren’t afraid of Freddy, and were armed with knives, a mace, and a bat. I wanted to see this brawl, dammit. The back didn’t tell you much, but I couldn’t believe there was a monster version of Freddy swallowing someone whole, and I wanted to know what the hell that was all about, dammit. Just a fantastic cover.

Any questions, comments, drunk-ramblings, feel free to send them my way, I always dig hearing from you, the beautiful people.

Twitter: @CaliberWinfield

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I post almost daily with workout related stuff to help you cats out, along with what’s coming down the pike via the MME, and general pop culture from the 80s and 90s that I can’t seem to let go of.

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If you just can’t wait until next week, you can also find me at these fine places:

The Man Movie Encyclopedia: The Hall of Burly – Vol. 1 – A collection of the first 19 MME articles written for 411. You get all the classics like Commando, Robocop, and Die Hard, not to mention bad-assery such as Point Break and They Live. Beyond that, you also get two new articles. My Top 5 favorite action movies, and what I believe to be the Top 5 most over-the-top scenes in action movie history. I won’t lie, it’s the greatest self=help/martial arts instruction book of all time.

My Summer Vacation At Camp Crystal Lake – My brand new ebook that’s become so popular it’s charting on the album sales charts. I cover the Friday The 13th franchise in Man Movie Encyclopedia fashion, followed up by a few list-based articles, chronicling my favorite kills, moments from the franchise, and a few other subjects. $3 via amazon, or simply email me and get it for $2, either way, it’ll probably change your life.

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