Charlie Adam and late, clumsy, and just generally embarrassingly terrible tackle attempts go together like hard liquor and a hangover, and on Saturday in Baltimore he added to his long list of late, clumsy, and embarrassingly terrible tackle attempts when he stamped down on Gareth Bale's ankle from behind without even coming close to the ball.

Seeing as he came up through Ranges' youth system and Bale recently claimed injury to avoid playing at the Olympics, there's always a chance Adam was out to protect the honour of the Queen and Team GB. More likely though it was just another late, clumsy, and embarrassingly terrible tackle attempt by a player who does that sort of thing at least three or four times a match.

Either way, professional hand model and part-time manager Andre Villas-Boas wasn't happy: "I think it is a very nasty challenge from Charlie. The player is gone and he comes in from behind on Gareth's ankle. Charlie came to me and said something about the challenge. I can accept but I think he should go to the player to say sorry, because if the player escapes hospital it is because he is very lucky."

Seeing as Adam has a bit of a history with Spurs in general and Bale in particular—he was sent off at White Hart Lane last season for a second yellow following a late mauling of Scott Parker's knee and as a Blackpool player the previous year he ruptured Gareth Bale's ankle with a similarly late and poorly coordinated effort—the answer seems straightforward. In the simplest terms possible, Tottenham need to offer Liverpool between £5-7M. And they need to do it before the transfer window closes otherwise Charlie Adam might just find himself lining up against them again on November 28th.

We aren't saying Charlie Adam definitely would do something terrible to Bale or Parker or whoever Spurs bring in when Modric toddles off to Chelsea or Madrid. We're just saying he's Charlie Adam. And if there's one thing you can count on when it comes to Charlie Adam it's that he's as likely to injure an opponent as to cleanly take the ball.

So call it a transfer fee; call it protection money; call it whatever lets the accountants in Monaco sleep at night. Just pay up, Tottenham, and the problem goes away. For all of us.

Just maybe don't let Adam on the training pitch at the same time as Bale if you do.