Phil Jackson’s return the Garden as the President of the New York Knicks excites me for countless reasons. I really don’t have anything new to add to why I’m giddy about this since you probably already read tons of laudatory articles by now.

There is one small thing I can think of though and that’s Phil’s infamous reading assignments he gives to every player. I’m sure Phil already figured out his book assignments weeks ago, but just in case he doesn’t, here’s what I would assign to each player:

1) Carmelo Anthony – The Trial

Like Josef K, at some point this season Melo, who has given the Knicks everything, must have woke up in horror to realize that his entire world was upside-down. The tribulations this team has put him through this year are not unlike the bizarre trial a baffled Josef K had to endure in Franz Kafka’s existential classic “The Trial”.

Actually now that I think of it, every loyal Knick fan that has no idea why they are perpetually tortured for their support should read this as well because only Kafka can capture the essence of what it feels like to be a Knicks fan.

2) Raymond Felton – Skinny Bastard

You thought I was probably going to recommend a divorce advice book or some kind of NRA guide on how to shoot, didn’t you? Nope that would be too easy. From the authors of the best selling “Skinny Bitch”, here’s a book Felton might want to dive into.

3) Iman Shumpert – How to Reduce Workplace Conflict and Stress

It’s obviously been a rough season, but it’s been a particularly long one for Shump. Whether it’s from teammates, the coach, or the front office; he’s arguably been one of the most jerked around employees of the Knicks. Here’s a book that could have probably helped him out this year.