I need some advice... I'm a 29 year old female, college graduate, and firmly situated in a great job. I've been dating my 29 year old boyfriend for a year and a half. I love him and I know he loves me. We have a great relationship, enjoy each other's company, and our families love us and emotionally support us. We both are adults with our own homes. We don't live together. We have friends and hobbies. We're both physically active and take care of our bodies. He gets me and loves me for who I am. He defends me and provides a listening ear when I need it. He also isn't afraid to call me out when I'm wrong. He's become one of my closest friends. I love him for all those things.

He started college later than most people and recently graduated. He has a decent job and is job hunting to find something better and more within his degree path. Like me, he has a solid family, great parents who've never been divorced and a sibling married with kids.

He talks about us in futuristic terms. "Our kids, our someday house, our dreams..." I believe he wants a future with me. However, whenever I bring up marriage he gets this "deer in headlights" look. He tells me the thought of marriage frightens and overwhelms him. Those conversation usually end with him frustrated and holding me while I cry. I wouldn't consider myself a clingy or overly emotional woman but when he says those things I get scared. I'm scared on some level of not being enough or unwanted, of being alone for the rest of my life, and of not spending the rest of my life with him. I've stopped bringing it up. I don't want to be a nag and I feel that I shouldn't have to be. Either he loves me and wants to spend his life with me or he doesn't.

I want to be married. I'm ready. I want a family one day. I want a family with him.

My question is this. How long do I wait for him to be ready? Honestly, I feel like the two year mark is the deal maker or breaker. But is that reasonable? I feel like I've been waiting for him... to graduate, to get settled, to become ready... do I keep waiting? I realize, "Love is patient." But how long does one remain patient?

I don't want to have a "you marry me or we're over" discussion. I'm not into ultimatums. But at the same time, I'm nearing my 30s and I do want a family one day. Waiting for years for him to "be ready" doesn't seem healthy.

Your thoughts?