Tony Abbott, the man who was colossally shit at the only job he’s ever wanted, made a lot of noise during the marriage equality campaign. He was one of the brave soldiers who tried to convince the nation that same-sex marriage is not actually about two people of the same sex getting married, but in fact was an insidious campaign of political correctness and cultural Marxism designed to undermine western civilisation. But when it got down to actually vote, oldmate abstained.

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That’s right. He didn’t vote for it – despite a full 75% of his electorate voting yes in the postal vote – and he didn’t vote against it and then have to stand up and explain precisely why he had rejected a democratic outcome. He left the chamber altogether, and didn’t vote. This is the man who masterminded the entire concept of a marriage equality plebiscite, and deemed that only via surveying the will of the Australian people could marriage ever be changed… and he decided to reject the will of the people. What a copout.

“This government wants the people to decide,” he told Parliament all the way back in the halcyon days of 2015. “We want the people’s choice, and what could be fairer than leaving this to the people of Australia?”

The man who argued that the Australian people’s choice is entirely sacrosanct chose to flip the Australian people the bird when it all came down to it. Not just Australia, but specifically the people of Warringah, who are the entire reason he has himself a cushy parliamentary paycheck. We’re essentially paying Tones our tax dollars to jack himself off. (I do not wish to insinuate we aren’t doing this for a large number of MPs across the spectrum)

And no, he didn’t do the noble thing and withdraw himself from the entire debate. Nope, he stood up in Parliament yesterday and railed against the MPs who refused to indulge the pathetic conservative amendments to the bill, which were blunt force legislative implements intended to permanently enshrine discrimination in law. He was perfectly happy to furiously argue in favour of those amendments – then bumrush out the door when it came to actually voting on the bill.

You might argue, as some have, that abstaining was the only way Abbott could facilitate the passage of the bill while staying true to his Christian values.

Sorry, that doesn’t really hold muster. Tony. You kicked the tin along on this issue purely because you didn’t want same-sex marriage to happen on your watch – sure. But you spent years boosting secular democracy as the only means to resolve the situation and shouted down any attempt at a free vote, in which you’d be perfectly entitled to vote in line with your values. Then when the moment came, you decided democracy wasn’t something you were keen on enabling at all.

Tony, you fucken ratbag coward. Put up or shut up. The people noticed:

Each to their own…..but i think @TonyAbbottMHR should have voted. He demanded this plebiscite, 75% of his electorate vote yes. If he wanted to vote no despite the result – he should have done so and explained himself. He wasn’t in the chamber. He squibbed it. — Laura Jayes (@ljayes) December 7, 2017

Tony Abbott promised to vote yes but in the end didn't vote at all #auspol — Bevan Shields (@BevanShields) December 7, 2017

tony abbott needs to be roasted mercilessly for cowering in a hall somewhere during the marriage vote until he is hounded out of parliament — ed (@macaulaybalkan) December 7, 2017

And Tony Abbott not even in the chamber for it. #marriageequality — Hamish Macdonald (@hamishNews) December 7, 2017

What’s rich is Tony Abbott pushing the postal vote and then not showing up to represent the 75% of Warringah who votes Yes. — Samuel Leighton-Dore (@SamLeightonDore) December 7, 2017

Malcolm Turnbull has turned out to be a complete dud – and who could have possibly imagined it – but every passing day is a reminder that the Liberals were absolutely right to boot Abbott to the kerb. He’s a self-absorbed twat who couldn’t give a single toss about democracy.

Now it’s up to the good burghers of Warringah: come the next election, show this dickhead the door.