You would cry, too, if it happened to you.

Yes, it’s Senator John Ensign’s (52nd) birthday today. And yes, our junior senator is crying us a river. In the form of complaining that he is a victim of “gotcha” journalism.

Yes, really.

When asked whether he’s been subpoenaed in the grand jury probe into his after-affair attempts at damage control – some of which may have been slightly illegal – he rebuked the press for its coverage of the scandal (per Politico):

“Seeking of the truth should be not only part of the Justice Department and part of our judicial system, but also should be … a goal of reporters today,” Ensign said. “Unfortunately, too much of our press is … (1) biased or (2) just about ‘gotcha.’”

And:

“It’s just, I have a responsibility to do my job and, as part of this republic that we have, the fourth estate does too, and they’re both important roles,” he told POLITICO. “Unfortunately, some in my part don’t give it a good name. But some in your part don’t give it a good name, [and] it’s all of us trying to do our best. That’s all I’m trying to say.”

And also:

“Whether it’s Republican or Democrat, it’s about nailing somebody,” Ensign said. “So sometimes people look at something, and whether or not it’s true, they want to try to nail them on it.”

Ah, the melodramatic machinations of a once a rising star in the GOP galaxy. There are few things more painful to watch than a graceless fall from grace.

I borrow from an email sent out this morning by the DSCC and and offer Ensign this birthday gift and a token of sympathy. Behold, the world’s smallest violin: