I Cannot Be a Feminist

I will always be pro-woman

Ali Alexander Blocked Unblock Follow Following Dec 22, 2013

Being the eldest of three boys with a single mom struggling to survive, I know what it means to be for the empowerment of women.

The woman is beautiful and unique. She is powerful. She incubates and delivers life. Her pain, her joy, her emotions are better expressed across the full spectrum that are feelings. She is a fierce protector, a gentle comforter, and even in all her complexity, she shows mankind simplicity.

There can be no doubt that women face structural challenges in all present societies, especially in the workplace. Recognizing this is a first step, but those who don’t, should not be labeled haters.

There are things we can do to make things more fair; more merit-based. That doesn’t mean that every piece of legislation that’s paraded around with lipstick should be supported.

Structural challenges in society also face the black, the yellow, the albino, the fat, the too-skinny, the person of faith, the repented felon, the southerner. Burdens exist because we are human. Burdens should not define our humanity nor our gender. And gender is a very real thing.

Talking to a feminist recently (a friend of many years), she was taken aback when I said to her that “I am pro-women’s empowerment. I am not and will never be a feminist.” She laughed. Of course she did. I simply didn’t understand.

She explained to me what I already knew: the title feminist is gender-neutral. Blah blah blah. A feminist is defined as someone who believes in the equality of the genders. Blah blah blah. Then I laughed. I already knew all of this.

Feminists do not believe in the equality between the genders, not alone anyway. These fringe activists believe in degrading men until they’ve received reparations and only then, can equality be achieved. They’ve mainstreamed their titles so artsy celebrities and coastal elitists adopt the title too. ‘Hi, I’m Dr. John Doe (Feminist-at-large), because… equality.’

See, the feminist believes that in tearing down men, the irreplaceability of fatherhood, male bosses, and the dissolution of any separation (or recognition) between the genders, they’ll somehow establish equality.

Mandela, Ghandi, and King taught reconciliation accomplishes equality. Feminists teach what the communist Chinese regime did: reeducation. If only you knew what I know. Think what I think and everything will be better.

My friend was shocked that I was familiar with all the talking points.

“Education always works. There must be something wrong—some right-wing bias,” she probably thought to herself. Conformity in language, social theories, all seem to surround feminism.

Feminism, as a belief, must stand on its own. And it must be held to account for all of its work. It cannot be supported because it sounds emphatic or has the right definition in the dictionary. Every revolutionary dictator renames his country to something that sounds pretty.

The feminist proudly touts their “slutwalk” protest while shouting to us about their latest gospel, rape culture. Did you know that men are the greatest perpetrators of rape culture? Apparently, according to feminists, explaining the circumstances around a rape or considering measures that would reduce rape actually contribute to more rape.

Rape is evil! Every reasonable person believes this. But not according to the feminist.

This has nothing to do with empowering women. When I think about my mom and growing up, none of this comes to mind. In fact, it’s pretty insulting.

I will still throw my annual party celebrating women in D.C. I will always believe that I was extremely blessed to grow up in a home with a proud single-mother. Everything about the tolerance and perseverance of women will continue to amaze me. In America, women outnumber their male counterparts at the ballot box and in raw population. That’s not a bad thing at all. The woman will continue to be celebrated, without needing to tear down men to do so.

My friend protested when I explained to her that feminists tear down men to make themselves equal, which not only makes the man a legitimate victim but also makes the argument extremely dangerous for women as it implies they are not capable.