She did not know whether he felt it too; and she could not try to find out because if it turned out that he didn't – she had a premonition, sometimes, that in middle age you could find you had lost everything in a moment: husband – lover, friend, children, it was as if they had never happened, or you had wandered off from them without knowing, and now stood stock-still with the discovery.
1	She	she	PRON	PERS-SG-NOM	Case=Nom|Gender=Fem|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs	4	nsubj	_	_
2	did	do	AUX	PAST-AUX	Mood=Ind|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin	4	aux	_	_
3	not	not	PART	NEG	_	4	advmod	_	_
4	know	know	VERB	INF	VerbForm=Inf	0	root	_	_
5	whether	whether	SCONJ	WH	_	7	mark	_	_
6	he	he	PRON	PERS-P3SG-NOM	Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs	7	nsubj	_	_
7	felt	feel	VERB	PAST	Mood=Ind|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin	4	ccomp	_	_
8	it	it	PRON	PERS-SG	_	7	obj	_	_
9	too	too	ADV	_	_	7	advmod	_	SpaceAfter=No
10	;	;	PUNCT	SemiColon	_	15	punct	_	_
11	and	and	CCONJ	_	_	15	cc	_	_
12	she	she	PRON	PERS-SG-NOM	Case=Nom|Gender=Fem|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs	15	nsubj	_	_
13	could	could	AUX	PAST-AUX	VerbForm=Fin	15	aux	_	_
14	not	not	PART	NEG	_	15	advmod	_	_
15	try	try	VERB	INF	VerbForm=Inf	4	conj	_	_
16	to	to	PART	_	_	17	mark	_	_
17	find	find	VERB	INF	VerbForm=Inf	15	xcomp	_	_
18	out	out	ADV	_	_	17	compound:prt	_	_
19	because	because	SCONJ	_	_	30	mark	_	_
20	if	if	SCONJ	_	_	22	mark	_	_
21	it	it	PRON	PERS-SG	_	22	nsubj	_	_
22	turned	turn	VERB	PAST	Mood=Ind|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin	17	advcl	_	_
23	out	out	ADV	_	_	22	compound:prt	_	_
24	that	that	SCONJ	_	_	26	mark	_	_
25	he	he	PRON	PERS-P3SG-NOM	Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs	26	nsubj	_	_
26	did	do	VERB	PAST	Mood=Ind|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin	22	ccomp	_	SpaceAfter=No
27	n't	not	PART	NEG	_	26	advmod	_	_
28	–	–	PUNCT	Dash	_	30	punct	_	_
29	she	she	PRON	PERS-SG-NOM	Case=Nom|Gender=Fem|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs	30	nsubj	_	_
30	had	have	VERB	PAST	Mood=Ind|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin	15	advcl	_	_
31	a	a	DET	IND-SG	Definite=Ind|PronType=Art	32	det	_	_
32	premonition	premonition	NOUN	SG-NOM	Number=Sing	30	obj	_	SpaceAfter=No
33	,	,	PUNCT	Comma	_	34	punct	_	_
34	sometimes	sometimes	ADV	_	_	30	advmod	_	SpaceAfter=No
35	,	,	PUNCT	Comma	_	34	punct	_	_
36	that	that	SCONJ	_	_	42	mark	_	_
37	in	in	ADP	_	_	39	case	_	_
38	middle	middle	NOUN	SG-NOM	Number=Sing	39	compound	_	_
39	age	age	NOUN	SG-NOM	Number=Sing	42	obl	_	_
40	you	you	PRON	PERS-P2	_	42	nsubj	_	_
41	could	could	AUX	PAST-AUX	VerbForm=Fin	42	aux	_	_
42	find	find	VERB	INF	VerbForm=Inf	32	acl	_	_
43	you	you	PRON	PERS-P2	_	45	nsubj	_	_
44	had	have	AUX	PAST-AUX	Mood=Ind|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin	45	aux	_	_
45	lost	lose	VERB	PERF	Mood=Ind|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin	42	ccomp	_	_
46	everything	everything	PRON	TOT-SG	Number=Sing	45	obj	_	_
47	in	in	ADP	_	_	49	case	_	_
48	a	a	DET	IND-SG	Definite=Ind|PronType=Art	49	det	_	_
49	moment	moment	NOUN	SG-NOM	Number=Sing	45	obl	_	SpaceAfter=No
50	:	:	PUNCT	Colon	_	51	punct	_	_
51	husband	husband	NOUN	SG-NOM	Number=Sing	45	parataxis	_	_
52	–	–	PUNCT	Dash	_	53	punct	_	_
53	lover	lover	NOUN	SG-NOM	Number=Sing	51	conj	_	SpaceAfter=No
54	,	,	PUNCT	Comma	_	53	punct	_	_
55	friend	friend	NOUN	SG-NOM	Number=Sing	51	conj	_	SpaceAfter=No
56	,	,	PUNCT	Comma	_	57	punct	_	_
57	children	child	NOUN	PL-NOM	Number=Plur	51	conj	_	SpaceAfter=No
58	,	,	PUNCT	Comma	_	57	punct	_	_
59	it	it	PRON	PERS-SG	_	60	nsubj	_	_
60	was	be	VERB	PAST	Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin	45	conj	_	_
61	as	as	SCONJ	_	_	66	mark	_	_
62	if	if	SCONJ	_	_	61	fixed	_	_
63	they	they	PRON	PERS-PL-NOM	Case=Nom|Number=Plur|Person=3|PronType=Prs	66	nsubj	_	_
64	had	have	AUX	PAST-AUX	Mood=Ind|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin	66	aux	_	_
65	never	never	ADV	NEG	_	66	advmod	_	_
66	happened	happen	VERB	PERF	Mood=Ind|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin	45	parataxis	_	SpaceAfter=No
67	,	,	PUNCT	Comma	_	71	punct	_	_
68	or	or	CCONJ	_	_	71	cc	_	_
69	you	you	PRON	PERS-P2	_	71	nsubj	_	_
70	had	have	AUX	PAST-AUX	Mood=Ind|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin	71	aux	_	_
71	wandered	wander	VERB	PERF	Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part	66	conj	_	_
72	off	off	ADV	_	_	71	compound:prt	_	_
73	from	from	ADP	_	_	74	case	_	_
74	them	they	PRON	PERS-P3PL-ACC	Case=Acc|Number=Plur|Person=3|PronType=Prs	71	obl	_	_
75	without	without	SCONJ	_	_	76	mark	_	_
76	knowing	know	VERB	ING	Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Part	71	advcl	_	SpaceAfter=No
77	,	,	PUNCT	Comma	_	71	punct	_	_
78	and	and	CCONJ	_	_	80	cc	_	_
79	now	now	ADV	_	_	80	advmod	_	_
80	stood	stand	VERB	PAST	Mood=Ind|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin	45	conj	_	_
81	stock-still	stock-still	ADV	_	_	80	advmod	_	_
82	with	with	ADP	_	_	84	case	_	_
83	the	the	DET	DEF	Definite=Def|PronType=Art	84	det	_	_
84	discovery	discovery	NOUN	SG-NOM	Number=Sing	80	obl	_	SpaceAfter=No
85	.	.	PUNCT	Period	_	4	punct	_	_
