Many humans use mantras or ceremonies for their benefit in structure.  My wife and I certainly do.<p>These are key questions.  What&#x27;s interesting is not the questions, but the answers.  And in listening.  Listening is itself an investment.  What&#x27;s important to your partner?  Find a way to make that important to you.<p>I can speak those six questions in a few seconds.  But I am listening to the answers, and to the associated streams of thought, attentively, for about 30 minutes.<p>We used the six questions approach for our first seven or so years.  In the last 10 years, we actually ask the questions less frequently.<p>We are apart about 10 or 11 hours per day, 5 days a week.  So we each have about 30 minutes to catch up on 10 hours.<p>But I find the biggest value in the weekends, when we&#x27;re together most of the day.  In that case, I can usually predict will want to talk about.  But that doesn&#x27;t make it boring.  That gives me an excellent chance to fine-tune my understanding of her mind and emotions.  The gap between what I expect she has been thinking about and what she was actually thinking about is an excellent education.<p>And she does the same with me.<p>Recall the baseline assertion: my relationship with my wife is the most important thing in my life.<p>I listen to people talk for hours at work, which is pretty important.  Listening to my wife for 30 minutes is a no brainer for me.