It makes sense to talk that way to your friends, because you&#x27;re already friends and there are stronger bonds holding you together. That makes shredding each other fun, because everyone knows it&#x27;s in jest.<p>A large semi-anonymous internet forum like HN is at the opposite extreme. We&#x27;re almost all strangers and near-strangers. The community has low cohesion, so the same behavior, with the same good intention, does harm.<p>You know how rugby players are famous for beating the shit out of each other on the pitch, then going out drinking after the game? I always envied those guys that experience. It works because they have high cohesion. They also know not to walk up to a stranger, smack them onto the pavement, and expect to be bought a beer later. You need to adjust for context.