Or else, more generally... people are usually rather terrible at separating out &quot;your behaviour is wrong and needs to be fixed&quot; from &quot;you as a whole are a terrible human being&quot;. People often define their identity by their actions, and to claim that those actions might be problematic is to attack their identity.<p>Even where blame is explicitly not placed on anyone, people tend to go on the defensive as soon as you point out that their actions have unintended or un-thought-of consequences.