If&#x2F;when it happens, you&#x27;d politely discuss it with the caretaker and others in the establishment (just like what happens here when someone says &quot;hey can we have the black bar?&quot;), and you&#x27;d then respect the consensus outcome. And if the caretaker and the other members rebuked such a request that was important to you, it would be fair enough to express your feelings then and there, and discuss it to the point of resolution.<p>That isn&#x27;t what&#x27;s happened here.<p>Seriously, civil behaviour around a bereavement is just not that hard.<p>Respectfully, I won&#x27;t be commenting further on this thread.