Very funny, these are verbatim quotes from actual congressional proceedings.  For example the first paragraph is from Joe Baca, you can find it about halfway down this page: <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.congress.gov&#x2F;amendment&#x2F;109th-congress&#x2F;house-amendment&#x2F;514&#x2F;text" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.congress.gov&#x2F;amendment&#x2F;109th-congress&#x2F;house-amen...</a>