Hey, thanks for opening up!<p>Yes, there is a psychological risk you take when you state an opinion on a topic that is important to you. The more important, the more disagreement hurts.<p>There isn&#x27;t much one can do about opinions of others. We all try to keep things civil here, but it doesn&#x27;t always work. Not immediately, at least. I remember the discussions after the last Paris attack; some comments were awful and literally heartbreaking, and I too was feeling a mix of anger and despair.<p>&gt; <i>What if it&#x27;s, for example, similarly insensitive and disgusting comments about islam&#x2F;muslims? I don&#x27;t just feel awful being around that person, I feel crushed by the amount of people who would agree with it. I&#x27;m quite afraid of what happens when such opinion is widely held. I feel like I&#x27;m looking at a lifetime of awful and I feel crushed by it.</i><p>I recognize that feeling. Frankly, I prefer hanging on HN so much because it sometimes seems like one of the last few bastions of sanity on the planet. Back after Paris, my Facebook feed was <i>literally</i> breaking my heart, and it was HN that reminded me that not everyone holds harmful beliefs.<p>Anyway, when you see knee-jerk attacks and hurtful behavior, I recommend judicious use of the downvote and flag buttons. That&#x27;s what they&#x27;re for, and they seem to work pretty well at keeping the discourse at proper level.<p>Best wishes to you and your fiancée. Stay strong!