I wasn&#x27;t talking about money specifically. I&#x27;m just pointing out that dating (with the goal of a monogamous marriage) is a zero-sum game; in order for you to win, all her other suitors must lose. In that game it&#x27;s highly relevant how you stack up against others, not just objective benchmarks.<p>In your example, if every man was thoughtful enough to know to get her massages, then the gesture would no longer have any differentiating effect. Similarly for muscle tone, education, penis size, money, or whatever she happens to care about.<p>Of course, not worrying about how others are doing and focusing on self-improvement is probably the best <i>strategy</i> to becoming better than other people. But to say it&#x27;s irrelevant how others are doing relative to oneself is just wrong.