a life must be balanced around certain principles; we feel it and we see the undesirable results when it is unbalanced; recalibrating -- adjusting boundaries in our lives -- is often necessary, as Pham illustrates. these boundaries must be derived from a respect for one&#x27;s self, one&#x27;s work (regardless of whether you are paid for that work or not -- e.g., a poet often is not), and one&#x27;s family.<p>however, we must never throw magnanimity out the window wholesale; it would be a travesty to abandon such an essential virtue.<p>&quot;Why I Quit Being So Accommodating&quot; is a great essay that showed up on HN some time back; worth a read for a fuller treatment of this topic. <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;news.ycombinator.com&#x2F;item?id=4969041" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;news.ycombinator.com&#x2F;item?id=4969041</a>