This is a big problem.<p>If you think someone is stuck and you offer to help, you&#x27;re being condescending or mansplaining but if you think that someone is just in their process and working something out so you leave them alone, you&#x27;re being cliquish and not welcoming to the newcomer.<p>Is the subculture supposed to change to fit the needs of the newbie or should the newbies be expected to learn to fit in to the subculture?