I hit 50 two years ago.  I didn&#x27;t mind turning 50.  It was the constant stereotyping that society(at least in the U.S.) that finally got to me.<p>I recall hitting 50 and not giving it much thought, but it seemed like when ever I turned on any from of media,  I was reminded of all the pitfalls of getting older.  It&#x27;s so depressing, I am thing about getting rid of cable.  I&#x27;ll still watch movies on my devises, but I need to tune out the commercials, and warnings?  And yes, I got it tobacco causes cancer.  I smoke one, or two cigarettes a week, and been around people who smoked; yes--I got it.  I raised my chances of getting cancer.  Enough?<p>I have been kinda neurotic&#x2F;hypochondrical my entire life; I don&#x27;t want to be reminded daily I&#x27;m going to die.  Oh, those cancer center commercials? I don&#x27;t care how sick I was I would never go to one of those centers--just on principle.  I really hope that company goes bankrupt.  Actually, I wish we could ban all medical&#x2F;Pharmacutical advertisement.<p>As to getting older, I don&#x27;t like it.  I had better ideas when I was younger.  I guess because my testosterone is startling to go down, the world is definetly lets say-- a little less colorful?  My sex drive is way down, but I&#x27;m kinda ok with that.  I can focus on boring stuff better than when I was younger.  And I find web developement boring!  Sorry, I don&#x27;t get excited about this industry.  I&#x27;m drawn to it, but never got the romance some of you have for the industry?  I am just a web developer, self employed, and always needed to do other things to make a living.  Maybe that&#x27;s why?  Or, maybe I&#x27;ve never been totally in love with anything I&#x27;ve done?  I have a ton of interests, but I never fell in love with any of them?<p>The one thing I really wished I did differently is I wish I made friends with people younger than myself?  I know it sounds selfish, but it seems like so many people I knew are gone?  For some reason, I didn&#x27;t really like my generation.
I found I had more in common with people who were 15 plus years older than myself?  I had some really good friendships.  Friendships that were solid.  Friends that I could trust with my innermost secrets.  I don&#x27;t have that anymore.  I&#x27;m not feeling sorry for myself, but don&#x27;t do what I did.  It&#x27;s lonely.<p>That&#x27;s about it.  Oh, yea, if you have an anxiety disorder, getting older does releave some of the symptmology.  When I was younger, I just couldn&#x27;t relax.  I still can&#x27;t, but I&#x27;m better than I was?<p>If you ever bump into me, please don&#x27;t call me Sir.  I am still not my father, and don&#x27;t think I will ever turn into him.  I&#x27;m still scared, and don&#x27;t have confidence.  I still look at the rest of the world, and still don&#x27;t feel I&#x27;m one of the grown-ups? I am not one of them!  I&#x27;ve never fell like I&#x27;m entitled.  I don&#x27;t demand respect.  I know I need to earn it. I don&#x27;t understand mean&#x2F;narcisstic individuals.   I like some rap, but don&#x27;t get Kayne, or Beaver?  Don&#x27;t think I ever will?  I think tattoos are fine, but never got one. (I never got one because I thought they looked like bruises, and reminded me of people who had liver disease.(platelets not forming as they should?).  In other words, I&#x27;m not really that different than the young man I used to be, just look older.<p>I sure miss my dogs!  I wish they lived as long as we do?<p>Bye!