Susan Anderson (psychotherapist)
While Kübler-Ross, Anderson, and others have attempted to define discrete stages of grief, such as an initial period of numbness leading to depression and finally to reorganization and recovery, most modern grief specialists recognize the variations and fluidity of grief experiences, that differ considerably in intensity and length among cultural groups and from person to person. No grief stage theory has been able to account for how people cope with loss, why they experience varying degrees and types of distress at different times, and how or when they adjust to a life without their loved one over time.
Dual process model of coping
In restoration-oriented process, the loss of the loved one is accepted and attachments with the deceased are relinquished. These include focusing on the new roles in their post loss reality and responsibilities in lives. The restoration-oriented process incorporates endurance through reconstruction of perspective by taking over grief, grieving thoughts are adjusted adaptively by creating new meanings with the deceased. The restoration process is a confrontation process, that allows the person to adjust with the world without the deceased. People in this process can feel subjective oscillations of pride and grief related stressors in the avoidance mentalization. This process allows the person to live their daily life as a changed individual without being consumed by the grieving they are facing. William Worden calls this as the four tasks of grief. Therese A. Rando calls the letting go process as emancipation from bondage due to the strength required for change and recovery.