Help Wanted
Wanted: National Jobs Czar</br></br>Employer: The Democratic Party</br></br>Job Type: Crisis Management/Complex Mathematics/Mental Health Professional</br></br>Start Date: Now. Like, Right Now.</br></br>Description: The Democratic Party seeks a wildly optimistic individual to oversee a national jobs-creation program. Jobs can be real, or not, so long as the public thinks the party is "doing something." The National Jobs Creator will have at his disposal Congress to pass new "jobs legislation" (aka The It-Is-Not-Another-Stimulus Act of 2009).