i little personal reflection here i guess i ve been working so hard to not want to kill myself trying to give myself space to heal while also when possible pushing myself to get back to life and i ve been doing amazingly going from my day being filled with trying to not want to die to actually cleaning my appartment and doing thing the last couple of week have definitely been a relapse of my pet who we re the reason i wa keeping myself alive and getting out of bed in my deepest moment have died within the same month in dramatic way i ve been trying to keep my head above water and to keep doing what i m suppose to do and the longer i tried to do it the more i went back to feeling like life is a never ending cycle of doing the same shit thing till you die i ve been feeling more and more again like it doesn t matter how hard i try and today it just became to much i m sitting here alone in this messy appartment that i m never gon na get under controle my partner is out all day and i just feel pain being alive again so i selfharmed again after month of not wanting to do it nothing serious or permantly damaging i ve never done something permanently damaging it felt both deliberating and just sad deliberating cause it did help me and calmed me down in the moment sad because you never wan na have to do this to stay alive and okay enough i don t really feel guilty or bad about doing it relapsing can happen right two step forward step back and i guess i also feel calmer about it knowing that i did get myself on a upward slope so that mean i can get myself there again so i guess i feel hopefull while feeling like this so i guess i m not doing well but i ve been getting back from worse
Classification of TEXT into LABEL: is depression , is not depression
### TEXT:
i little personal reflection here i guess i ve been working so hard to not want to kill myself trying to give myself space to heal while also when possible pushing myself to get back to life and i ve been doing amazingly going from my day being filled with trying to not want to die to actually cleaning my appartment and doing thing the last couple of week have definitely been a relapse of my pet who we re the reason i wa keeping myself alive and getting out of bed in my deepest moment have died within the same month in dramatic way i ve been trying to keep my head above water and to keep doing what i m suppose to do and the longer i tried to do it the more i went back to feeling like life is a never ending cycle of doing the same shit thing till you die i ve been feeling more and more again like it doesn t matter how hard i try and today it just became to much i m sitting here alone in this messy appartment that i m never gon na get under controle my partner is out all day and i just feel pain being alive again so i selfharmed again after month of not wanting to do it nothing serious or permantly damaging i ve never done something permanently damaging it felt both deliberating and just sad deliberating cause it did help me and calmed me down in the moment sad because you never wan na have to do this to stay alive and okay enough i don t really feel guilty or bad about doing it relapsing can happen right two step forward step back and i guess i also feel calmer about it knowing that i did get myself on a upward slope so that mean i can get myself there again so i guess i feel hopefull while feeling like this so i guess i m not doing well but i ve been getting back from worse
### LABEL:
is depression