i love my family i have a slightly distant yet mostly kind older brother a supporting and caring mother and a funny and relatable father i have a stable home life and have a roof over my head and i never starve i would say i have an amazing family and life yet i constantly ruin it i ve been sick and i ll probably need to repeat the grade even doing online course i don t know if i can even pas high school my parent have spent a lot of medical fund for a useless child i have no friend since covid started due to online course and the only people that i constantly to other than my family are doctor and my tutor i make sure that my family never find out i m suicidal though they don t need any more problem i don t even know if you would call me a suicidal a i only have suicidal thought daily i don t cut myself or do anything like that but the reason is because i want to see my family in japan one last time before i die we re going on a trip to japan this summer and that s the sole thing i m living for i m scared of the thought of what will happen to me once i no longer have anything to look forward to i know that at this point i ll probably kill myself the second we come back here at least i ll be known a the cousin who probably died first instead of the suicidal one or a drug addict i know how much my entire family pretend my cousin who is a drug addict doesn t exist so i know the horrid backlash that would occur if i survived i know that if i fail dying i ll fake a recovery before properly offing myself sorry this ended up turning into a suicide idolization rant if you managed to even read it this far i bet your thinking why don t i just get a therapist therapy solves everything not i had a therapist for a whole month and i hated the judging eye the subtle why are you here you have a great life and the fact that they treat you like some kind of test subject orochimaru like creepy people i honestly managed to connect more with my tutor that i ve only known for month who i only met once every two week on zoom never met her in person now i bet your thinking wait why did you contradict yourself you said that your family didn t know you are suicidal and yet you had a therapist it wa because i had to go to so many doctor so often that mother thought about my mental health and gave me a therapist i had the therapist or month before my mother decided that i wa just fine i thank my ability to hide suicidal thought well thank you reddit for letting me make this confession i felt like i needed to say it somewhere where no one would ever find out who i am
Classification of TEXT into LABEL: is depression , is not depression
### TEXT:
i love my family i have a slightly distant yet mostly kind older brother a supporting and caring mother and a funny and relatable father i have a stable home life and have a roof over my head and i never starve i would say i have an amazing family and life yet i constantly ruin it i ve been sick and i ll probably need to repeat the grade even doing online course i don t know if i can even pas high school my parent have spent a lot of medical fund for a useless child i have no friend since covid started due to online course and the only people that i constantly to other than my family are doctor and my tutor i make sure that my family never find out i m suicidal though they don t need any more problem i don t even know if you would call me a suicidal a i only have suicidal thought daily i don t cut myself or do anything like that but the reason is because i want to see my family in japan one last time before i die we re going on a trip to japan this summer and that s the sole thing i m living for i m scared of the thought of what will happen to me once i no longer have anything to look forward to i know that at this point i ll probably kill myself the second we come back here at least i ll be known a the cousin who probably died first instead of the suicidal one or a drug addict i know how much my entire family pretend my cousin who is a drug addict doesn t exist so i know the horrid backlash that would occur if i survived i know that if i fail dying i ll fake a recovery before properly offing myself sorry this ended up turning into a suicide idolization rant if you managed to even read it this far i bet your thinking why don t i just get a therapist therapy solves everything not i had a therapist for a whole month and i hated the judging eye the subtle why are you here you have a great life and the fact that they treat you like some kind of test subject orochimaru like creepy people i honestly managed to connect more with my tutor that i ve only known for month who i only met once every two week on zoom never met her in person now i bet your thinking wait why did you contradict yourself you said that your family didn t know you are suicidal and yet you had a therapist it wa because i had to go to so many doctor so often that mother thought about my mental health and gave me a therapist i had the therapist or month before my mother decided that i wa just fine i thank my ability to hide suicidal thought well thank you reddit for letting me make this confession i felt like i needed to say it somewhere where no one would ever find out who i am
### LABEL:
is depression