my year relationship ended about a month ago for me it feel like it just happened yesterday every time i wake up i remember this person is no longer in my life i check my phone constantly throughout the day knowing there won t be message from them anymore i haven t accepted that it is over they were my first for everything it s hard right now because i m not working and sometimes i get a week break from school i ve had free time before but i haven t had free time without speaking to them constantly in year so i feel super lonely and i don t know what to do most of the day i spend in bed i wa diagnosed with depression about a week ago i have probably eaten le than 00 calorie a day for the past week which is just making the depression worse because there s no fuel in the tank sometimes le than that because i have no desire to eat i just feel nauseous i wa doing better somewhat until i decided to reach out to this person to confirm whether or not we could contact each other again and thinking we could possibly be friend in the future i got a message from this person about a week ago stating that it wa completely over a far a ever communicating with each other again and also my dog died so i lost the two thing i cared about the most all in the span of a month and long story short i harassed that person because i wanted them to talk to me i wanted to say goodbye properly and i wanted them to say goodbye properly because it didn t end well and i wanted to fix it i have always tried to fix thing and be perfect and never make mistake i just wanted to fix it i definitely made it way worse by spamming them i didn t mean to i have always tried to be a good person and do the right thing and treat people the right way and now i don t know who i am anymore i feel really really bad about it i would never actually do anything to hurt this person this person knew me more than anyone in my life ever ha i really didn t understand that what i wa doing wa harassment i thought if i messaged them enough they would understand me and talk to me but that wa not the case i tried to message them on multiple different platform and begged for them to speak to me most of the time i sent the message i wa in the middle of one of my panic attack or cry on the floor and sometimes i would try to reach out super late at night when the depression get the worse i would like to add that i ve never experienced heartbreak before and i ve never had anything this bad happen to me my mom s car accident affected me year ago but this wa a different kind of pain i even sent them money through a money transfer app just so i could send a message because i wa blocked on everything else i know that i m not okay but i don t know what to do or how to fix it it s worth noting that this person life very very far away so when the relationship ended i knew i d never see or hear from them again and i couldn t handle not having this person in my life we had talked messaged each other every single day for year and we had traveled to different place together over the last year my life ha always involved this person i don t know who i am without them the only time i m not in pain is when i m sleeping and even then i have dream about them but we are still together in those dream so when i wake up the realization is brutal i thought they were my soulmate and that we would be together forever and grow old together one day i think it s hard because i remember u promising to always be with each other and have each other to love each other forever i think i could maybe deal with the relationship ending but i can t let go of the promise we made and when i remember this person isn t in my life anymore it make me physically sick sometimes i get actual chest pain i m 0 and i don t think i m capable of loving someone else ever again i knew this person wa special from the moment i meant them i hesitated to ask them out because i knew there wa a possibility that relationship could end and i never wanted to have this person out of my life i wanted them to always be my friend and didn t want a relationship to possibly ruin that it did in the end anyways i lost my best friend not talking to them every day feel like a part of me is gone missing it doesn t feel right that we re not together anymore it feel like they died it feel like the universe isn t going right like it s not in alignment and this wasn t suppose to happen i don t think that we aren t suppose to be together it feel wrong they were suppose to come visit soon but now it s never going to happen i had already practiced how i wa going to show them how the shower work because everyone s work differently bought spare soap moved thing out of my room so it would be quieter at night for them planned the place we were going to go and thing we were going to do imagined u going to get food and sit in the car and talk how i wa going to show them new thing and comfort them during the long car drive the movie we were going to watch etc it s not happening anymore now i can t do any of those thing without breaking down how do i let this go and i definitely can never get on another plane again because i ve only ever been on plane to see them i wa at my happiest when i knew i wa on my way to them even though it usually took 9 hour total to get there i have deleted almost all our picture together but all the gift from them and their family are in my bottom dresser because i can t bring myself to get rid of them some of them were very special meaningful gift i wa there for christmas and i don t know what to do with them i don t feel like i m capable of throwing them away i am unable to open the dresser and look at them i feel like i m a bad person because this is not something i thought i would ever do i still love this person more than anything but i am going to go to therapy today so that i can work on moving on i can not do it myself i will never message them again but it s too late to take back everything i did and said i even said i hate them i wa so angry but i m incapable of hating this person even in my anger i could never hate this person i said it because i wa so hurt i wa told that i am going through grief i couldn t apologize because i m blocked on everything understandable so it s probably best that they leave me blocked for now because i m afraid that i will get angry sad again and say thing i don t mean or beg them to talk to me i also sent a letter to them where i said some thing when i wa angry but they won t receive that for week do you think they will ever forgive me one day for the harassment my intention weren t to scare them i needed to talk to them to stop the overwhelming sadness i thought that they still cared about me i think i wa begging them to still care i thought if i told them everything going wrong they would comfort me because our relationship had been so strong do you think that they will know that i m sorry am i a bad person for doing what i did
Classification of TEXT into LABEL: is depression , is not depression
### TEXT:
my year relationship ended about a month ago for me it feel like it just happened yesterday every time i wake up i remember this person is no longer in my life i check my phone constantly throughout the day knowing there won t be message from them anymore i haven t accepted that it is over they were my first for everything it s hard right now because i m not working and sometimes i get a week break from school i ve had free time before but i haven t had free time without speaking to them constantly in year so i feel super lonely and i don t know what to do most of the day i spend in bed i wa diagnosed with depression about a week ago i have probably eaten le than 00 calorie a day for the past week which is just making the depression worse because there s no fuel in the tank sometimes le than that because i have no desire to eat i just feel nauseous i wa doing better somewhat until i decided to reach out to this person to confirm whether or not we could contact each other again and thinking we could possibly be friend in the future i got a message from this person about a week ago stating that it wa completely over a far a ever communicating with each other again and also my dog died so i lost the two thing i cared about the most all in the span of a month and long story short i harassed that person because i wanted them to talk to me i wanted to say goodbye properly and i wanted them to say goodbye properly because it didn t end well and i wanted to fix it i have always tried to fix thing and be perfect and never make mistake i just wanted to fix it i definitely made it way worse by spamming them i didn t mean to i have always tried to be a good person and do the right thing and treat people the right way and now i don t know who i am anymore i feel really really bad about it i would never actually do anything to hurt this person this person knew me more than anyone in my life ever ha i really didn t understand that what i wa doing wa harassment i thought if i messaged them enough they would understand me and talk to me but that wa not the case i tried to message them on multiple different platform and begged for them to speak to me most of the time i sent the message i wa in the middle of one of my panic attack or cry on the floor and sometimes i would try to reach out super late at night when the depression get the worse i would like to add that i ve never experienced heartbreak before and i ve never had anything this bad happen to me my mom s car accident affected me year ago but this wa a different kind of pain i even sent them money through a money transfer app just so i could send a message because i wa blocked on everything else i know that i m not okay but i don t know what to do or how to fix it it s worth noting that this person life very very far away so when the relationship ended i knew i d never see or hear from them again and i couldn t handle not having this person in my life we had talked messaged each other every single day for year and we had traveled to different place together over the last year my life ha always involved this person i don t know who i am without them the only time i m not in pain is when i m sleeping and even then i have dream about them but we are still together in those dream so when i wake up the realization is brutal i thought they were my soulmate and that we would be together forever and grow old together one day i think it s hard because i remember u promising to always be with each other and have each other to love each other forever i think i could maybe deal with the relationship ending but i can t let go of the promise we made and when i remember this person isn t in my life anymore it make me physically sick sometimes i get actual chest pain i m 0 and i don t think i m capable of loving someone else ever again i knew this person wa special from the moment i meant them i hesitated to ask them out because i knew there wa a possibility that relationship could end and i never wanted to have this person out of my life i wanted them to always be my friend and didn t want a relationship to possibly ruin that it did in the end anyways i lost my best friend not talking to them every day feel like a part of me is gone missing it doesn t feel right that we re not together anymore it feel like they died it feel like the universe isn t going right like it s not in alignment and this wasn t suppose to happen i don t think that we aren t suppose to be together it feel wrong they were suppose to come visit soon but now it s never going to happen i had already practiced how i wa going to show them how the shower work because everyone s work differently bought spare soap moved thing out of my room so it would be quieter at night for them planned the place we were going to go and thing we were going to do imagined u going to get food and sit in the car and talk how i wa going to show them new thing and comfort them during the long car drive the movie we were going to watch etc it s not happening anymore now i can t do any of those thing without breaking down how do i let this go and i definitely can never get on another plane again because i ve only ever been on plane to see them i wa at my happiest when i knew i wa on my way to them even though it usually took 9 hour total to get there i have deleted almost all our picture together but all the gift from them and their family are in my bottom dresser because i can t bring myself to get rid of them some of them were very special meaningful gift i wa there for christmas and i don t know what to do with them i don t feel like i m capable of throwing them away i am unable to open the dresser and look at them i feel like i m a bad person because this is not something i thought i would ever do i still love this person more than anything but i am going to go to therapy today so that i can work on moving on i can not do it myself i will never message them again but it s too late to take back everything i did and said i even said i hate them i wa so angry but i m incapable of hating this person even in my anger i could never hate this person i said it because i wa so hurt i wa told that i am going through grief i couldn t apologize because i m blocked on everything understandable so it s probably best that they leave me blocked for now because i m afraid that i will get angry sad again and say thing i don t mean or beg them to talk to me i also sent a letter to them where i said some thing when i wa angry but they won t receive that for week do you think they will ever forgive me one day for the harassment my intention weren t to scare them i needed to talk to them to stop the overwhelming sadness i thought that they still cared about me i think i wa begging them to still care i thought if i told them everything going wrong they would comfort me because our relationship had been so strong do you think that they will know that i m sorry am i a bad person for doing what i did
### LABEL:
is depression