long story short i haven t been feeling well for the past two week i think it s a depressive episode the day befroee yesterday i wa already damn done with life but yesterday wa my final straw i have only seriously had suicidal thought time in my life and have never wanted to do actually do it before i have a fear of death but yesterday wa horrible i wa actively searching for stuff to kill me and a i expected my family s first reaction is to scold me saying that even during school holiday they have to worry about my as and i m not even in school right now what do i have to be suicidal about they just straight up scolded me did not give a fuck otherwise it s been a day and idk everyone s pissed at me and i m at my wit end i m actively asking to be hospitalised but the people who actually ha the authority to do that are too pissed at me to want to do that and complaining about how it cost so much to go u are hurting all of u what happens if it s in the record for the rest of your life first of all what life my whole life my family dynamic is fucking bullshit it s not abusive or even manipulative it s just that no one communicates with each other probably because we know when we do fighting will ensue so no one talk to one another idk what i can do all the time the rule change all the time idk how to talk to them idk what they want from me this cycle is just gon na continue until day i eventually snap at them or snap at myself if i snap at them i m gon na get scolded i knew the only reason they would actually not scold me is if i actually did it but i know if i did it i would have let them won and i will most likely survive and i hate that only if i actually did it would they actually care about me i do not know what i ll do for the next few day and i don t trust myself i actually wan na go to the hospital but no one let me for fuck sake idk what to do anymore
Classification of TEXT into LABEL: is depression , is not depression
### TEXT:
long story short i haven t been feeling well for the past two week i think it s a depressive episode the day befroee yesterday i wa already damn done with life but yesterday wa my final straw i have only seriously had suicidal thought time in my life and have never wanted to do actually do it before i have a fear of death but yesterday wa horrible i wa actively searching for stuff to kill me and a i expected my family s first reaction is to scold me saying that even during school holiday they have to worry about my as and i m not even in school right now what do i have to be suicidal about they just straight up scolded me did not give a fuck otherwise it s been a day and idk everyone s pissed at me and i m at my wit end i m actively asking to be hospitalised but the people who actually ha the authority to do that are too pissed at me to want to do that and complaining about how it cost so much to go u are hurting all of u what happens if it s in the record for the rest of your life first of all what life my whole life my family dynamic is fucking bullshit it s not abusive or even manipulative it s just that no one communicates with each other probably because we know when we do fighting will ensue so no one talk to one another idk what i can do all the time the rule change all the time idk how to talk to them idk what they want from me this cycle is just gon na continue until day i eventually snap at them or snap at myself if i snap at them i m gon na get scolded i knew the only reason they would actually not scold me is if i actually did it but i know if i did it i would have let them won and i will most likely survive and i hate that only if i actually did it would they actually care about me i do not know what i ll do for the next few day and i don t trust myself i actually wan na go to the hospital but no one let me for fuck sake idk what to do anymore
### LABEL:
is depression