due to a bunch of reason i wa never close to my mother side of the family there were some cousin and great uncle i saw a lot briefly a a kid one recently chatted with mother through facebook and mentioned how he loved coming to our house back in those day he actually got married a few year ago but i didn t went i feel like depression social anxiety and being a closeted trans person denied me all the relationship normal people have it doesn t help that my mother had her reason to not make an effort to be close to some of those relative but i keep thinking that they became stranger to me even my great grandfather who i must have seen him once before he passed after my mother distanced ourselves from the rest of the family i keep thinking that all of it could be different i didn t had to be so lonely and even if some of them are terrible people i could still be close to the good one like the cousin who chatted with my mother if so weren t like this another cousin is getting married next month my great uncle came to our house to bring the invitation and want me to come a well i keep thinking what the hell am i even going to say to all these people i haven t seen since i wa a kid it wa normal to be a shy child and not to speak to them but now at they will think i have development issue and what would i talk about with them after graduating college year ago i did nothing with my life i just wasted my youth by hiding at home i don t think most of them give a shit about me but i bet at least some would be curious what i have been up to oh i got to sleep at am and wake up at noon everyday after which i proceed to do nothing but waste away in front of a computer screen i m so depressed and i m so fixated on this fear of time passing that i literally do nothing but that what about you i guess i would do what my parent do and just lie and say i do freelance work my father already told me how embarrassed he is when people ask him what i m doing and that s the lie he us i have a cousin almost my age in the other side of the family which i also dread about the idea of meeting him again we were close during summer a child but i remember our last summer together when we were a i started to develop depression and it wa really awkward it wa like we became stranger and would barely speak i would feel so ashamed to see him now he is normal he ha friend he doe what he want he s independent he s talkative he s normal he s everything i am not i just want to be fucking normal i wish i could restart my life but this time without depression social anxiety and being trans i feel like i won t survive this year but i wish i could have lived a little before i go
Classification of TEXT into LABEL: is depression , is not depression
### TEXT:
due to a bunch of reason i wa never close to my mother side of the family there were some cousin and great uncle i saw a lot briefly a a kid one recently chatted with mother through facebook and mentioned how he loved coming to our house back in those day he actually got married a few year ago but i didn t went i feel like depression social anxiety and being a closeted trans person denied me all the relationship normal people have it doesn t help that my mother had her reason to not make an effort to be close to some of those relative but i keep thinking that they became stranger to me even my great grandfather who i must have seen him once before he passed after my mother distanced ourselves from the rest of the family i keep thinking that all of it could be different i didn t had to be so lonely and even if some of them are terrible people i could still be close to the good one like the cousin who chatted with my mother if so weren t like this another cousin is getting married next month my great uncle came to our house to bring the invitation and want me to come a well i keep thinking what the hell am i even going to say to all these people i haven t seen since i wa a kid it wa normal to be a shy child and not to speak to them but now at they will think i have development issue and what would i talk about with them after graduating college year ago i did nothing with my life i just wasted my youth by hiding at home i don t think most of them give a shit about me but i bet at least some would be curious what i have been up to oh i got to sleep at am and wake up at noon everyday after which i proceed to do nothing but waste away in front of a computer screen i m so depressed and i m so fixated on this fear of time passing that i literally do nothing but that what about you i guess i would do what my parent do and just lie and say i do freelance work my father already told me how embarrassed he is when people ask him what i m doing and that s the lie he us i have a cousin almost my age in the other side of the family which i also dread about the idea of meeting him again we were close during summer a child but i remember our last summer together when we were a i started to develop depression and it wa really awkward it wa like we became stranger and would barely speak i would feel so ashamed to see him now he is normal he ha friend he doe what he want he s independent he s talkative he s normal he s everything i am not i just want to be fucking normal i wish i could restart my life but this time without depression social anxiety and being trans i feel like i won t survive this year but i wish i could have lived a little before i go
### LABEL:
is depression