what keep me awake every night is trying to figure out whether my wife and kid would be better off if i actually did take my own life versus me continuing to exist in their life versus divorce and distancing myself from them a much a possible my best mate in my late 0 his mother took her own life when he wa about 0 year old and he hated her for it ever since my parent split when i wa and i have absolutely no memory of my parent a a couple you know a mum and dad together and i m pretty sure my dad left to live with his parent because he had wanted to take his own life and wanted to distance himself from u to minimise the impact he s still alive looking after his mother but he never had any passion for anything and always seemed to be just existing so i get it i m that way too i don t know of any example of father who decided to just live and not leave the family because all my childhood friend were also poor kid living in single parent household i have no friend now so i don t have any example to go by i can see how me choosing to stick around but the therapy and medication isn t making a fucking difference could make life shit for my wife and kid even tho he s alive i can t talk to my dad about anything deep or meaningful my so called adopted father my uncle is so full of b platitude and braindead socialist bullshit that i can t stand talking to him about this stuff i don t have any friend from church so i have nobody to teach me how i m supposed to pray about this shit so i m getting no answer from jesus god i effectively have nobody to talk to about this i don t want empathy i want fucken solution the mere fact that no matter what i do whether ten of thousand of dollar of therapy or a half dozen different medication over the last five year none of it ha made anything better fuck depression fuck adhd fuck doing a job for money fuck being productive fuck cognitive behaviour therapy fuck autism fuck aspergers fuck anxiety fuck just reach out for help fuck society and fuck god for making me born with this mental illness
Classification of TEXT into LABEL: is depression , is not depression
### TEXT:
what keep me awake every night is trying to figure out whether my wife and kid would be better off if i actually did take my own life versus me continuing to exist in their life versus divorce and distancing myself from them a much a possible my best mate in my late 0 his mother took her own life when he wa about 0 year old and he hated her for it ever since my parent split when i wa and i have absolutely no memory of my parent a a couple you know a mum and dad together and i m pretty sure my dad left to live with his parent because he had wanted to take his own life and wanted to distance himself from u to minimise the impact he s still alive looking after his mother but he never had any passion for anything and always seemed to be just existing so i get it i m that way too i don t know of any example of father who decided to just live and not leave the family because all my childhood friend were also poor kid living in single parent household i have no friend now so i don t have any example to go by i can see how me choosing to stick around but the therapy and medication isn t making a fucking difference could make life shit for my wife and kid even tho he s alive i can t talk to my dad about anything deep or meaningful my so called adopted father my uncle is so full of b platitude and braindead socialist bullshit that i can t stand talking to him about this stuff i don t have any friend from church so i have nobody to teach me how i m supposed to pray about this shit so i m getting no answer from jesus god i effectively have nobody to talk to about this i don t want empathy i want fucken solution the mere fact that no matter what i do whether ten of thousand of dollar of therapy or a half dozen different medication over the last five year none of it ha made anything better fuck depression fuck adhd fuck doing a job for money fuck being productive fuck cognitive behaviour therapy fuck autism fuck aspergers fuck anxiety fuck just reach out for help fuck society and fuck god for making me born with this mental illness
### LABEL:
is depression