i ve made like post already in different part of reddit trying to explain the mess that is myself and my life story but i swear this time i m gon na try and get a grip on all my thought and what i think is messing up me and my life ok first off i don t think i ve had anxiety or at least not nearly a bad until like year ago after i quit my job it wa fine at first but a the year went on i just slowly started to feel more and more like shit right after i graduated high school like almost year ago my dad s alcohol problem really started getting bad and he wa already sort of an asshole but it really ramped up when he started getting wasted every day ditching work not taking care of himself a much etc he started guilt tripping me into taking care of him and it got to the point where i basically had to babysit him until he either fell asleep or ran out of booze mom eventually got to that point too and from there it wa basically constant verbal abuse and a sense of worthlessness until mom finally got disgusted with herself and him and slowly began shaping up but that wa only because they ran out of money both theirs and mine by the time they started becoming relatively functional again my mental state wa fucking shot and i m surprised i m retaining enough sanity to not kick the shit out of them and anyone else all i got out of it wa the neverending fear that if i do anything to upset them they re probably gon na kick me out of the house more on this later now we re living with dad s mom who s crazy but still function much better than either of them and i would be fine around her except she doesn t even want me around and if dad keep getting fucked up then i would be kicked out while he get off with basically no punishment starting the year i quit my job i developed a porn addiction that i didn t even think wa possible until just recently i don t know if it s the main cause of all my problem but if it make me feel any better i ll quit on the spot i want to move out go to college start my own life and all that fun shit so badly but there is no way in hell i m gon na be able to pas class get financial help or even take care of myself in the mental state that i m in right now i m trying to avoid online college because i miss being able to go out and meet people and be a weirdo and there s no way i m gon na get anything done sitting in this house i don t have any idea on what to do except sit around and pray for some sort of miracle because i m completely fucked at this point i can t even bring myself to get out of bed most of the time sometimes i ll fall asleep for no reason and i can t tell if it s because i m freaking out too much or there s something else wrong with me after i ve spend the past couple day reflecting on everything that s happened and constantly fearing that my family will eventually throw me out i think i ve lost my mind i want to believe it ll pas but i have no idea anymore right now i think my best bet is cry until i get enough financial assistance to move out and start college but i have no fucking clue where to begin on that i don t care how low quality my life and housing is i just wan na get away from my crazy fucking family they re one of the few reason i have anxiety whatsoever the only other thing that really give me anxiety are project because i can never finish them presentation because i can never finish them properly and driving to a destination for the first time because my sense of direction is utter shit if i have any other random related thought i ll edit them in but for now i think this get my point across if this post doesn t belong here i ll move or delete it or whatever if this post seems like a mess it s because it is and i m sorry edit ok another thing that really fucking bother me is my parent are always telling me i m so smart and all that but then treat me like a dumbass i really don t feel smart at all especially after how much i struggled in grade middle school and how much trouble i have figuring out anything past basic stuff the only reason this give me anxiety is because if i can t do normal schoolwork there s no way in hell i m gon na be able to do college level work like should i even attempt college when i have nothing going for me edit i forgot to mention the reason i hate when they call me smart or anyone really is because it s just an excuse for me to do more work instead of it being some sort of compliment edit will having a sugar addiction give me anxiety make it worse because ever since i got to grandma s house i ve been eating a lot more sweet junk food because she won t stop buying it if i need to cut that out too i ll try my best tl dr family crazy terrible decision from everyone how do i stop feeling like shit and move out
Classification of TEXT into LABEL: is depression , is not depression
### TEXT:
i ve made like post already in different part of reddit trying to explain the mess that is myself and my life story but i swear this time i m gon na try and get a grip on all my thought and what i think is messing up me and my life ok first off i don t think i ve had anxiety or at least not nearly a bad until like year ago after i quit my job it wa fine at first but a the year went on i just slowly started to feel more and more like shit right after i graduated high school like almost year ago my dad s alcohol problem really started getting bad and he wa already sort of an asshole but it really ramped up when he started getting wasted every day ditching work not taking care of himself a much etc he started guilt tripping me into taking care of him and it got to the point where i basically had to babysit him until he either fell asleep or ran out of booze mom eventually got to that point too and from there it wa basically constant verbal abuse and a sense of worthlessness until mom finally got disgusted with herself and him and slowly began shaping up but that wa only because they ran out of money both theirs and mine by the time they started becoming relatively functional again my mental state wa fucking shot and i m surprised i m retaining enough sanity to not kick the shit out of them and anyone else all i got out of it wa the neverending fear that if i do anything to upset them they re probably gon na kick me out of the house more on this later now we re living with dad s mom who s crazy but still function much better than either of them and i would be fine around her except she doesn t even want me around and if dad keep getting fucked up then i would be kicked out while he get off with basically no punishment starting the year i quit my job i developed a porn addiction that i didn t even think wa possible until just recently i don t know if it s the main cause of all my problem but if it make me feel any better i ll quit on the spot i want to move out go to college start my own life and all that fun shit so badly but there is no way in hell i m gon na be able to pas class get financial help or even take care of myself in the mental state that i m in right now i m trying to avoid online college because i miss being able to go out and meet people and be a weirdo and there s no way i m gon na get anything done sitting in this house i don t have any idea on what to do except sit around and pray for some sort of miracle because i m completely fucked at this point i can t even bring myself to get out of bed most of the time sometimes i ll fall asleep for no reason and i can t tell if it s because i m freaking out too much or there s something else wrong with me after i ve spend the past couple day reflecting on everything that s happened and constantly fearing that my family will eventually throw me out i think i ve lost my mind i want to believe it ll pas but i have no idea anymore right now i think my best bet is cry until i get enough financial assistance to move out and start college but i have no fucking clue where to begin on that i don t care how low quality my life and housing is i just wan na get away from my crazy fucking family they re one of the few reason i have anxiety whatsoever the only other thing that really give me anxiety are project because i can never finish them presentation because i can never finish them properly and driving to a destination for the first time because my sense of direction is utter shit if i have any other random related thought i ll edit them in but for now i think this get my point across if this post doesn t belong here i ll move or delete it or whatever if this post seems like a mess it s because it is and i m sorry edit ok another thing that really fucking bother me is my parent are always telling me i m so smart and all that but then treat me like a dumbass i really don t feel smart at all especially after how much i struggled in grade middle school and how much trouble i have figuring out anything past basic stuff the only reason this give me anxiety is because if i can t do normal schoolwork there s no way in hell i m gon na be able to do college level work like should i even attempt college when i have nothing going for me edit i forgot to mention the reason i hate when they call me smart or anyone really is because it s just an excuse for me to do more work instead of it being some sort of compliment edit will having a sugar addiction give me anxiety make it worse because ever since i got to grandma s house i ve been eating a lot more sweet junk food because she won t stop buying it if i need to cut that out too i ll try my best tl dr family crazy terrible decision from everyone how do i stop feeling like shit and move out
### LABEL:
is depression