where do i even start this feeling ha been going for year but now i reached a point where i am fully convinced that my life is just pointless purposeless empty i keep finding way to help myself to get better socialize talk to a psychologist then i got refered to a psychiatrist and talk to god i don t blame god for anything okay i still believe in god the psychiatrist did gave med escitalopram amp na divalproex amp quetiapin amp olanzapine amp vit b complex for a year i took those med constantly after a year i wa only prescribed with the first two med then recently the psychiatrist needed to move up my med to something more stronger because i said the med didn t work in socializing i tried to talk to friend but i couldn t open myself fully to any of them it is because no one listened or no one gave anything to help same go with my family i even tried looking for a relationship but with the trauma that my past caused me my ex s mirrored my depression towards me i also tried dating apps but every single one is either horny or just hard to talk to i tried to connect with workmate but you know that feeling when just can t connect it s hard to describe but yeah bottom line in socializing no one listens or give help in talking to god i still believe that there s a purpose for everything that s why we are created right i really don t blame god for anything even though i am suffering so much the only question is how long will i have to suffer more detail about work right now i m happy with what i m doing there s stress problem and shitty experience but at least i get task that need to be done yeah so when i m given a task i can finish it regardless of my mentality so my background well i ve been bullied since elementary until highschool for being different in the look it wa nd year highschool when the whole class bullied me constantly the teacher can t even help lol my depression really attacked me in nd year college there i realized all my suffering all my mistake and all my regret i attempted suicide for like time but always failed unfortunately twice i got caught by my family they were concerned at first but a time pass by so is the concern after all that i gave up trying to kill myself because i can t i m too much of a coward to kill myself all those physical abuse i tried to do on myself i can t do it twice so yeah i m like in the middle of trying to live and trying to kill myself if only i m brave enough to just commit suicide i would do it but i m not i actually tried to do sport in the past i wa very active in physical sport like taekwondo athletics and mma i even went to the gym right now i m doing biking but all those physical activity stopped a i lost interest or no motivation anymore i continued biking but everytime i do it i go full speed thinking i would die unfortunately my body just hold the break to slow down and make turn right now i just literally gave up on everything i m convinced that i ll be living my life like an empty shell med don t work socializing don t work and etc etc i just do my work then after just back to emptiness again i am able to do task but is it still living when you just do task out of obligation for advice sorry but i already heard too much but it didn t work anyways just trying to vent out i hope this story is clear or understandable thank you for reading
Classification of TEXT into LABEL: is depression , is not depression
### TEXT:
where do i even start this feeling ha been going for year but now i reached a point where i am fully convinced that my life is just pointless purposeless empty i keep finding way to help myself to get better socialize talk to a psychologist then i got refered to a psychiatrist and talk to god i don t blame god for anything okay i still believe in god the psychiatrist did gave med escitalopram amp na divalproex amp quetiapin amp olanzapine amp vit b complex for a year i took those med constantly after a year i wa only prescribed with the first two med then recently the psychiatrist needed to move up my med to something more stronger because i said the med didn t work in socializing i tried to talk to friend but i couldn t open myself fully to any of them it is because no one listened or no one gave anything to help same go with my family i even tried looking for a relationship but with the trauma that my past caused me my ex s mirrored my depression towards me i also tried dating apps but every single one is either horny or just hard to talk to i tried to connect with workmate but you know that feeling when just can t connect it s hard to describe but yeah bottom line in socializing no one listens or give help in talking to god i still believe that there s a purpose for everything that s why we are created right i really don t blame god for anything even though i am suffering so much the only question is how long will i have to suffer more detail about work right now i m happy with what i m doing there s stress problem and shitty experience but at least i get task that need to be done yeah so when i m given a task i can finish it regardless of my mentality so my background well i ve been bullied since elementary until highschool for being different in the look it wa nd year highschool when the whole class bullied me constantly the teacher can t even help lol my depression really attacked me in nd year college there i realized all my suffering all my mistake and all my regret i attempted suicide for like time but always failed unfortunately twice i got caught by my family they were concerned at first but a time pass by so is the concern after all that i gave up trying to kill myself because i can t i m too much of a coward to kill myself all those physical abuse i tried to do on myself i can t do it twice so yeah i m like in the middle of trying to live and trying to kill myself if only i m brave enough to just commit suicide i would do it but i m not i actually tried to do sport in the past i wa very active in physical sport like taekwondo athletics and mma i even went to the gym right now i m doing biking but all those physical activity stopped a i lost interest or no motivation anymore i continued biking but everytime i do it i go full speed thinking i would die unfortunately my body just hold the break to slow down and make turn right now i just literally gave up on everything i m convinced that i ll be living my life like an empty shell med don t work socializing don t work and etc etc i just do my work then after just back to emptiness again i am able to do task but is it still living when you just do task out of obligation for advice sorry but i already heard too much but it didn t work anyways just trying to vent out i hope this story is clear or understandable thank you for reading
### LABEL:
is depression