i m year old diagnosed with gouty arthritis at and i ve been battling with myself for almost a year now and it ha gotten to the point where i m tired of living this tuesday morning at am i tried to commit suicide my second attempt on taking my own life in le than a year and yet i ve still managed to fail once more i wa able to get at least hour of sleep but nothing more and that s the best i can get from a day just sleep wishing and praying to god to take my life every night passing away in my sleep best way possible imho for the last few month i ve been starting all my day and ending in tear soaking my pillow i m constantly emotionally unstable i break down in the middle of my lecture and i m genuinely tired of feeling sad and having different type of emotion on a daily basis i m lacking enormously in motivation to keep on living my mind is a thinking machine and won t stop thinking about all the suicidal way i could end my pain most of the time i ask myself why me i used to be an energetic kid who enjoyed doing many thing in my free time mostly gaming all by myself since i never had an opportunity to make a solid friendship so most of the time i end up talking expressing to myself because in this world there is no one here for me no one ha ever cared for me or even shared the least tiny drop of affection towards my person that s why i just don t try to make friend any more because i feel like i m a failure at it and i don t want no one to invest time in me i currently have an absurd amount of hate rage towards myself for not being able to finish everything and not looking upon my flaw and imperfection and wasting the endless opportunity of improving myself now i ll just have to live with the consequence and i m just here in this world all alone thinking and knowing that some people are doing better than me and living their best life and i envy that and i m jealous of that i m writing this deep down from a part of me that ha just a millimeter of hope of recuperating but i highly doubt i ll be able to do it i won t lie a of writing this it feel like i m getting rid of an anchor that ha been pulling me back all this time
Classification of TEXT into LABEL: is depression , is not depression
### TEXT:
i m year old diagnosed with gouty arthritis at and i ve been battling with myself for almost a year now and it ha gotten to the point where i m tired of living this tuesday morning at am i tried to commit suicide my second attempt on taking my own life in le than a year and yet i ve still managed to fail once more i wa able to get at least hour of sleep but nothing more and that s the best i can get from a day just sleep wishing and praying to god to take my life every night passing away in my sleep best way possible imho for the last few month i ve been starting all my day and ending in tear soaking my pillow i m constantly emotionally unstable i break down in the middle of my lecture and i m genuinely tired of feeling sad and having different type of emotion on a daily basis i m lacking enormously in motivation to keep on living my mind is a thinking machine and won t stop thinking about all the suicidal way i could end my pain most of the time i ask myself why me i used to be an energetic kid who enjoyed doing many thing in my free time mostly gaming all by myself since i never had an opportunity to make a solid friendship so most of the time i end up talking expressing to myself because in this world there is no one here for me no one ha ever cared for me or even shared the least tiny drop of affection towards my person that s why i just don t try to make friend any more because i feel like i m a failure at it and i don t want no one to invest time in me i currently have an absurd amount of hate rage towards myself for not being able to finish everything and not looking upon my flaw and imperfection and wasting the endless opportunity of improving myself now i ll just have to live with the consequence and i m just here in this world all alone thinking and knowing that some people are doing better than me and living their best life and i envy that and i m jealous of that i m writing this deep down from a part of me that ha just a millimeter of hope of recuperating but i highly doubt i ll be able to do it i won t lie a of writing this it feel like i m getting rid of an anchor that ha been pulling me back all this time
### LABEL:
is depression