hi im an m and i just feel i am a lost cause i hate everything about my life and barley if at all want to do any of the work to make it better nothing about my life is horrible besides my relationship but thats another story lol i live in an average middle class house with my dad and have a decent setup for life i have friend who like me for me i hope and have started to go to party and etc but i just cant shake my depression or feeling of hating myself ive been like this since i wa or and nothing could help and all ive gotten is worse i wa a smart kid but now i haven t done any of my schoolwork and im supposed to graduate in month and i cheated through all of last year schooling because of covid i had a job then switched to doing doordash instacart since im but now i cant even motivate myself to go do that i hate my body the way i act i especially hate being gay i hate my adhd i hate that i get jealous of other people being happy with themselves it really hurt and i hate that i feel like i have no passion in life and i have nothing i really want to work towards besides having nice clothes and even then when i think of that i get more unmotivated because i already hate my body and wish clothes fit better on me already so i just get disappointed and think i will never look remotely close to the way i want i really think this is because of the tik tok era my body make me feel disgusting and i feel like i have the ugliest face in the world im like abnormally skinny 9 0 lb but i cant gain weight because even when i try i forget to eat or put it off to continue what im fixated on at the moment like i had my first meal at pm today ive asked my dad various time to get me setup with a psychiatrist but that will never happen knowing my parent ive been recommended to a therapist by my school counselor since th grade the only one ive had is the school provided one they gave for covid i just like in general hate myself and my life and i feel even worse about it because i shouldn t hate it i have a lot that i should be grateful for that i just take for granted for god sake i have been in my room for the past month doing nothing most people do not have that kind of luxury amp x 00b oh yeah and on the topic of my relationship which i think contriubutes to this feeling gt we ve been on and off for like year almost now i wa groomed im pretty sure he im you can do the math he is emotionally abusive and denies that he wa horribly abusive to me in the past for example he used to tell me about people asking to hookup with him constantly boost his own ego he put me down with insult and name accuses me of causing a scene or starting something when i have a reaction to a rude action he doe he didnt get me anything for valentine day or christmas he ha hit me twice but love to be like it wa a shirt i whipped you with and im sure he like that im depressed he ha said im going to end up a strung out drug addict like my mom that im a loser who will rot away who isn t even doing that bad rn and she isn t a strung out addict never wa she wa rich most her life im sorry if this isn t cohesive or whatever i just needed somewhere to vent my thought and hopefully get help i just really wish i didnt feel like this and my brain didnt hate me i wish i could just go to the gym and start doing my school work and get myself on track but i just cant
Classification of TEXT into LABEL: is depression , is not depression
### TEXT:
hi im an m and i just feel i am a lost cause i hate everything about my life and barley if at all want to do any of the work to make it better nothing about my life is horrible besides my relationship but thats another story lol i live in an average middle class house with my dad and have a decent setup for life i have friend who like me for me i hope and have started to go to party and etc but i just cant shake my depression or feeling of hating myself ive been like this since i wa or and nothing could help and all ive gotten is worse i wa a smart kid but now i haven t done any of my schoolwork and im supposed to graduate in month and i cheated through all of last year schooling because of covid i had a job then switched to doing doordash instacart since im but now i cant even motivate myself to go do that i hate my body the way i act i especially hate being gay i hate my adhd i hate that i get jealous of other people being happy with themselves it really hurt and i hate that i feel like i have no passion in life and i have nothing i really want to work towards besides having nice clothes and even then when i think of that i get more unmotivated because i already hate my body and wish clothes fit better on me already so i just get disappointed and think i will never look remotely close to the way i want i really think this is because of the tik tok era my body make me feel disgusting and i feel like i have the ugliest face in the world im like abnormally skinny 9 0 lb but i cant gain weight because even when i try i forget to eat or put it off to continue what im fixated on at the moment like i had my first meal at pm today ive asked my dad various time to get me setup with a psychiatrist but that will never happen knowing my parent ive been recommended to a therapist by my school counselor since th grade the only one ive had is the school provided one they gave for covid i just like in general hate myself and my life and i feel even worse about it because i shouldn t hate it i have a lot that i should be grateful for that i just take for granted for god sake i have been in my room for the past month doing nothing most people do not have that kind of luxury amp x 00b oh yeah and on the topic of my relationship which i think contriubutes to this feeling gt we ve been on and off for like year almost now i wa groomed im pretty sure he im you can do the math he is emotionally abusive and denies that he wa horribly abusive to me in the past for example he used to tell me about people asking to hookup with him constantly boost his own ego he put me down with insult and name accuses me of causing a scene or starting something when i have a reaction to a rude action he doe he didnt get me anything for valentine day or christmas he ha hit me twice but love to be like it wa a shirt i whipped you with and im sure he like that im depressed he ha said im going to end up a strung out drug addict like my mom that im a loser who will rot away who isn t even doing that bad rn and she isn t a strung out addict never wa she wa rich most her life im sorry if this isn t cohesive or whatever i just needed somewhere to vent my thought and hopefully get help i just really wish i didnt feel like this and my brain didnt hate me i wish i could just go to the gym and start doing my school work and get myself on track but i just cant
### LABEL:
is depression