i know not many people will see this or probably care but i have no one or at least no one who ll genuinely listen a year or two ago i wasn t the best person selfish and careless i wa an alcoholic and a drug addict to deal with everything which i know now wa a horrible coping mechanism but it wa all my year old brain knew how to do a addiction ran in my family i wa hypersexual with no fundamental understanding of consent because all i knew wa assault i would get drunk and say horrible thing and my action reflected that i know trauma isn t an excuse for everything i did to people i used to call my friend but i swear i never meant to hurt anyone i wa horrible and when i realized how much hurt i had caused i never let myself live it down i couldn t look at myself the same i would cry for hour because i wa a monster that brought trauma to others life i honestly didn t know how to be healthy and i didn t know how to make real friend without making it sexual because that s all i thought people wanted from me i know these are a bunch of bullshit excuse but i don t know what to do i never wanted to be this person i left the school that wa once my haven because of the rumor i can t tell who i am anymore am i the monster they think i am i barely remember anything and i wa always drinking so it s all a blur amp x 00b i m a girl i m and this is where it started i m not going to give my life story just the bit that matter i wa accused of assault almost a year ago now with many other claim that had to do with my toxicity the original person who accused me and i had dealt with it privately and she had recognized that i wa extremely drunk when it happened and the lack of communication on both end honestly i have taken accountability for the fact that i shouldn t have drank underage and made her uncomfortable i remember bit and piece of that night some of it i can t even put together in my head but i realized that my behavior wa unacceptable and it wasn t okay not okay in the slightest but it got out to my whole school rumor began and people i had past romantic and sexual relationship with accused me of either assaulting them or being toxic i left the school and sought a lot of therapy but the rumor have entered my life in a more public setting i don t blame anyone i wa honestly a piece of shit but i know everything wa consensual but now i m not even sure of anything i think i m a monster i don t know what s real and what isn t i wa manipulative and a downright horrible person but i ve done everything i can to change and apologize but i can t seem to do it right i want to take accountability and be better but also want my name out there on the internet associated with these thing my parent don t deserve this i want to be able to be normal again but then i realize my life ha been normal i ve always through trauma my life is basically one big thing of trauma whether i realize it or not i m so sorry i really hate myself for hurting the people i did i don t want pity and i know nothing i can do can fix my reputation i don t even think i deserve it i really think i should just kill myself i think that d give the people i hurt peace of mind i don t think i deserve to live this life i m really sorry i know you ll judge me too but i promise i m really trying to be better and to help people i m not sure which perception is real theirs or mine i m broken down and i wan na be a kid again with my favorite stuffed animal maybe just take a nap and then i ll wake up and be okay
Classification of TEXT into LABEL: is depression , is not depression
### TEXT:
i know not many people will see this or probably care but i have no one or at least no one who ll genuinely listen a year or two ago i wasn t the best person selfish and careless i wa an alcoholic and a drug addict to deal with everything which i know now wa a horrible coping mechanism but it wa all my year old brain knew how to do a addiction ran in my family i wa hypersexual with no fundamental understanding of consent because all i knew wa assault i would get drunk and say horrible thing and my action reflected that i know trauma isn t an excuse for everything i did to people i used to call my friend but i swear i never meant to hurt anyone i wa horrible and when i realized how much hurt i had caused i never let myself live it down i couldn t look at myself the same i would cry for hour because i wa a monster that brought trauma to others life i honestly didn t know how to be healthy and i didn t know how to make real friend without making it sexual because that s all i thought people wanted from me i know these are a bunch of bullshit excuse but i don t know what to do i never wanted to be this person i left the school that wa once my haven because of the rumor i can t tell who i am anymore am i the monster they think i am i barely remember anything and i wa always drinking so it s all a blur amp x 00b i m a girl i m and this is where it started i m not going to give my life story just the bit that matter i wa accused of assault almost a year ago now with many other claim that had to do with my toxicity the original person who accused me and i had dealt with it privately and she had recognized that i wa extremely drunk when it happened and the lack of communication on both end honestly i have taken accountability for the fact that i shouldn t have drank underage and made her uncomfortable i remember bit and piece of that night some of it i can t even put together in my head but i realized that my behavior wa unacceptable and it wasn t okay not okay in the slightest but it got out to my whole school rumor began and people i had past romantic and sexual relationship with accused me of either assaulting them or being toxic i left the school and sought a lot of therapy but the rumor have entered my life in a more public setting i don t blame anyone i wa honestly a piece of shit but i know everything wa consensual but now i m not even sure of anything i think i m a monster i don t know what s real and what isn t i wa manipulative and a downright horrible person but i ve done everything i can to change and apologize but i can t seem to do it right i want to take accountability and be better but also want my name out there on the internet associated with these thing my parent don t deserve this i want to be able to be normal again but then i realize my life ha been normal i ve always through trauma my life is basically one big thing of trauma whether i realize it or not i m so sorry i really hate myself for hurting the people i did i don t want pity and i know nothing i can do can fix my reputation i don t even think i deserve it i really think i should just kill myself i think that d give the people i hurt peace of mind i don t think i deserve to live this life i m really sorry i know you ll judge me too but i promise i m really trying to be better and to help people i m not sure which perception is real theirs or mine i m broken down and i wan na be a kid again with my favorite stuffed animal maybe just take a nap and then i ll wake up and be okay
### LABEL:
is depression