i want to preface this by stating that i haven t gone to anyone about this nor have i attempted to get help realistically it s just my mind actively stopping me because in some sick and twisted way it belief that i m okay i m and currently enrolled at georgia southern a a freshman while i have struggled with mild depression in the past it all really started going downhill when i lost my dog in june of last year my dog had to be put down and it wa heartbreaking i had to watch my parent and sister cry while i sat there trying to be strong i let myself fall into that typical stereotype that men aren t supposed to cry i regret it i wish i had shown some emotion then but it s neither here nor there at this point what matter is that she had been in my life since i wa a kid i grew up with her and it felt like my world crumbled beneath the weight of her loss my girlfriend at the time helped me through it a lot and wa an enormous amount of help when it came to my happiness at the time it didn t last however i had reluctantly enrolled into college and honestly felt forced to go the first two week honestly weren t too bad i enjoyed my time and thought i would get through pretty easy then me and my now ex broke up this absolutely crushed me having my dog put down being practically forced into college and now i just got out of the first major relationship i ve had all within the span of month it wa such a slow but inevitable spiral into the worst depression i would ever face my ex and i would continue having contact with each other for the rest of that semester she tried to help me feel better but i got so much worse i no longer had a grasp on who i wa and wa just trying to stitch myself back together again i never got better i struggled for the rest of the semester my grade were awful and my physical health had declined a good bit a well when halloween rolled around i attempted to commit suicide i took about half a bottle of melatonin which wa me trying to attempt but obviously that wouldn t work because it s melatonin i wa a dumbass who wa desperately trying to end it all with anything i could get my hand on well i lived then november passed and it wa finally december a month i enjoy because of it s stress free nature around this time my ex and i were actually recuperating we both still had feeling for each other while we never got back together december wa actually nice and i felt happy for the first time in a while then december ended and the new year came along i wanted to focus solely on bettering myself and although my ex and i were starting to somewhat get along again i wanted to cut off all contact i wasn t good for her and she wasn t good for me or that s what i believe to be true from then on i focused on myself i tried to be more sociable and tried to express my feeling more often to my friend it wa working kind of towards the end of january i attempted again at the time i felt like i had made no progress and i thought i wa stuck being a bad person forever so i used some strong prescription pain killer don t remember the name i made it pill in and vomited something must ve clicked inside me because this wa a turning point the entirety of february wa pretty good i felt happy and i enjoyed so much of life i talked to my parent about not wanting to do college and the fact that i broke up with my ex yes it took me month to tell my parent i wa scared to they were understanding and said they d let me live there a long a i had a job i also explained to them that i wanted to do something else in life then what i previously had said to them i wa majoring in computer science because i really wanted to be a programmer but realized that i didn t actually enjoy it i had tried to do some coding on the side and i just didn t have fun with it what i did have fun with though wa disc golf it wa something that helped me feel better about myself because i wa constantly improving in particular i had started to take it seriously around the beginning of january and by the time i talked to my parent i felt really confident and wa thinking of going pro in the future they shut it down because it s rare to succeed in sport and if anything it would be up to luck after that entire conversation about me not being able to be who i wanted i had signed a lease to live with my sister down near the college since we both go there i did not have any intention of going to school for a second year because it wa not good for my mental health i even told my parent that i didn t want to continue college but they said that i have to because the rent where my sister and i are going to be living is too high to pay without a student loan now i m here reluctantly signing up for class next semester all while feeling i have no purpose in life my parent won t support my actually dream and would rather me find some 9 that ll at least keep me living paycheck to paycheck so i m struggling to really know who i am still while slowing piecing myself together in an attempt to better myself i m having a shitty time in college due to several thing dragging me downwards into depression my parent won t support me in what i actually want to do and are instead forcing me to do a second year of school i just don t have the energy or motivation to keep going everything is so extremely stressful right now and it s just been all one slow build up my self image ha absolutely plummeted and i m ashamed to really even go outside anymore because i hate the way i look i feel like i have absolutely no purpose anymore because of all the mixed message i m getting from my family the only thing i don t have right now that i want is a way out i have ibuprofen that i could overdose with but i ve looked it up and it seems too painful and it probably won t kill me i have a car that i could crash of course but i don t want to drag anyone else into this nor do i feel like it s reliable enough of a way out i could try to drown myself in the lake on campus but i ve already tried drowning myself in 0 0 and that didn t pan out well i just want something simple and effective i don t have the money unfortunately i haven t found the courage motivation to get a job i want this feeling to be gone i ll still try to work on myself but a this tightening in my chest get stronger and stronger each day i m not sure i ll make it
Classification of TEXT into LABEL: is depression , is not depression
### TEXT:
i want to preface this by stating that i haven t gone to anyone about this nor have i attempted to get help realistically it s just my mind actively stopping me because in some sick and twisted way it belief that i m okay i m and currently enrolled at georgia southern a a freshman while i have struggled with mild depression in the past it all really started going downhill when i lost my dog in june of last year my dog had to be put down and it wa heartbreaking i had to watch my parent and sister cry while i sat there trying to be strong i let myself fall into that typical stereotype that men aren t supposed to cry i regret it i wish i had shown some emotion then but it s neither here nor there at this point what matter is that she had been in my life since i wa a kid i grew up with her and it felt like my world crumbled beneath the weight of her loss my girlfriend at the time helped me through it a lot and wa an enormous amount of help when it came to my happiness at the time it didn t last however i had reluctantly enrolled into college and honestly felt forced to go the first two week honestly weren t too bad i enjoyed my time and thought i would get through pretty easy then me and my now ex broke up this absolutely crushed me having my dog put down being practically forced into college and now i just got out of the first major relationship i ve had all within the span of month it wa such a slow but inevitable spiral into the worst depression i would ever face my ex and i would continue having contact with each other for the rest of that semester she tried to help me feel better but i got so much worse i no longer had a grasp on who i wa and wa just trying to stitch myself back together again i never got better i struggled for the rest of the semester my grade were awful and my physical health had declined a good bit a well when halloween rolled around i attempted to commit suicide i took about half a bottle of melatonin which wa me trying to attempt but obviously that wouldn t work because it s melatonin i wa a dumbass who wa desperately trying to end it all with anything i could get my hand on well i lived then november passed and it wa finally december a month i enjoy because of it s stress free nature around this time my ex and i were actually recuperating we both still had feeling for each other while we never got back together december wa actually nice and i felt happy for the first time in a while then december ended and the new year came along i wanted to focus solely on bettering myself and although my ex and i were starting to somewhat get along again i wanted to cut off all contact i wasn t good for her and she wasn t good for me or that s what i believe to be true from then on i focused on myself i tried to be more sociable and tried to express my feeling more often to my friend it wa working kind of towards the end of january i attempted again at the time i felt like i had made no progress and i thought i wa stuck being a bad person forever so i used some strong prescription pain killer don t remember the name i made it pill in and vomited something must ve clicked inside me because this wa a turning point the entirety of february wa pretty good i felt happy and i enjoyed so much of life i talked to my parent about not wanting to do college and the fact that i broke up with my ex yes it took me month to tell my parent i wa scared to they were understanding and said they d let me live there a long a i had a job i also explained to them that i wanted to do something else in life then what i previously had said to them i wa majoring in computer science because i really wanted to be a programmer but realized that i didn t actually enjoy it i had tried to do some coding on the side and i just didn t have fun with it what i did have fun with though wa disc golf it wa something that helped me feel better about myself because i wa constantly improving in particular i had started to take it seriously around the beginning of january and by the time i talked to my parent i felt really confident and wa thinking of going pro in the future they shut it down because it s rare to succeed in sport and if anything it would be up to luck after that entire conversation about me not being able to be who i wanted i had signed a lease to live with my sister down near the college since we both go there i did not have any intention of going to school for a second year because it wa not good for my mental health i even told my parent that i didn t want to continue college but they said that i have to because the rent where my sister and i are going to be living is too high to pay without a student loan now i m here reluctantly signing up for class next semester all while feeling i have no purpose in life my parent won t support my actually dream and would rather me find some 9 that ll at least keep me living paycheck to paycheck so i m struggling to really know who i am still while slowing piecing myself together in an attempt to better myself i m having a shitty time in college due to several thing dragging me downwards into depression my parent won t support me in what i actually want to do and are instead forcing me to do a second year of school i just don t have the energy or motivation to keep going everything is so extremely stressful right now and it s just been all one slow build up my self image ha absolutely plummeted and i m ashamed to really even go outside anymore because i hate the way i look i feel like i have absolutely no purpose anymore because of all the mixed message i m getting from my family the only thing i don t have right now that i want is a way out i have ibuprofen that i could overdose with but i ve looked it up and it seems too painful and it probably won t kill me i have a car that i could crash of course but i don t want to drag anyone else into this nor do i feel like it s reliable enough of a way out i could try to drown myself in the lake on campus but i ve already tried drowning myself in 0 0 and that didn t pan out well i just want something simple and effective i don t have the money unfortunately i haven t found the courage motivation to get a job i want this feeling to be gone i ll still try to work on myself but a this tightening in my chest get stronger and stronger each day i m not sure i ll make it
### LABEL:
is depression