when you can t work and feel like a shadow of a character you put on for other people when you feel like such a burden to people you love almost like you are taking advantage of them because you need their help i got help but i still feel the effect of this depression medication doesn t seem to help the overall feeling that i feel is a lie i want to kill my self at least the identity that i am a strong man i m young i ve accomplished more than my father did at my age however i am still under his roof failure to launch and failure to exercise work life balance living with what i see to be bipolar disorder and the effect it ha on my and other people life holding on to the idea i have that to commit suicide would be murder in the eye of god because i am a slave of his i gave up my life because jesus gave up his struggling to understand or at least accept my sinful nature and reject it at the same time struggling with the idea that perhaps i m trans perhaps i m gay perhaps i m yes that s ok looking at myself gain weight because of my own lack of self control with eating going from the most disciplined with cutting weight for a pro fight going from 0lbs to lb in le than month getting fairly close to the former in i feel sick i feel worthless impotent the exact opposite of what i felt month ago i wan na be well for other people sake i wan na be taken advantage of in the future a work horse for someone a husband a friend an artist just not a crazy one but what can i do i didn t choose to be mad i just am i want to overdose so far i do so with caffeine and nicotine had i been able to get myself to drink alcohol i d use that however i hate hangover i think once i wake up in limbo i ll still feel it doing everything i can to lock myself in the house and not jump off a bridge head first onto the highway running out of video to watch on youtube running out of idea for making music feeling alone feeling a buzz from my med a i type this feeling god looking at me over my shoulder the devil over the other i want to be ripped in two the life i want is living a duel life one for jesus the other with satan queer perhaps my favorite word lately i identify a that queer
Classification of TEXT into LABEL: is depression , is not depression
### TEXT:
when you can t work and feel like a shadow of a character you put on for other people when you feel like such a burden to people you love almost like you are taking advantage of them because you need their help i got help but i still feel the effect of this depression medication doesn t seem to help the overall feeling that i feel is a lie i want to kill my self at least the identity that i am a strong man i m young i ve accomplished more than my father did at my age however i am still under his roof failure to launch and failure to exercise work life balance living with what i see to be bipolar disorder and the effect it ha on my and other people life holding on to the idea i have that to commit suicide would be murder in the eye of god because i am a slave of his i gave up my life because jesus gave up his struggling to understand or at least accept my sinful nature and reject it at the same time struggling with the idea that perhaps i m trans perhaps i m gay perhaps i m yes that s ok looking at myself gain weight because of my own lack of self control with eating going from the most disciplined with cutting weight for a pro fight going from 0lbs to lb in le than month getting fairly close to the former in i feel sick i feel worthless impotent the exact opposite of what i felt month ago i wan na be well for other people sake i wan na be taken advantage of in the future a work horse for someone a husband a friend an artist just not a crazy one but what can i do i didn t choose to be mad i just am i want to overdose so far i do so with caffeine and nicotine had i been able to get myself to drink alcohol i d use that however i hate hangover i think once i wake up in limbo i ll still feel it doing everything i can to lock myself in the house and not jump off a bridge head first onto the highway running out of video to watch on youtube running out of idea for making music feeling alone feeling a buzz from my med a i type this feeling god looking at me over my shoulder the devil over the other i want to be ripped in two the life i want is living a duel life one for jesus the other with satan queer perhaps my favorite word lately i identify a that queer
### LABEL:
is depression