tl dr have been abused mentally and physically by both parent throughout my childhood and even now at year old very depressed and have suicidal thought failing school and have poor social life afraid to fight back because it will end up in conflict someone getting hurt and me getting kicked out of the house for the millionth time i still care about my parent for some reason and love them i dont know why and am hesitant to go to authority i have nobody to move in with not much money no car what do i do am i a coward i am currently in my second semester of community college i have lived through physical and verbal abuse throughout my entire childhood asian family beaten the crap out of every other day by drunk father my mother is mentally unstable and controlling and also hit and insult me don t want to get into specific because it would be lengthy and there too much but let just say the worst thing my father ha done to me wa crack my head against a table and i had to go to the er to get staple lied and said i knocked my head into the table by accident my mother burned me with a hair iron when i wa around ten and she say stuff like i am worthless should have never been born etc daily i am not a bad son very respectful my parent just have a lot of issue that stem from being abused from their parent too and are very controlling for much of my life i thought this treatment wa normal for example my mother would start hitting me if i didn t address her a mom when talking to her when she felt moody stuff like that not warranted last semester i took difficult stem class to be an engineer and on the morning of my calculus final my drunk father punched me in the mouth and i bled because i did not wake my brother up for school when he overslept i failed the final after that i told them i wanted to join the marine because i wa sick of home they apologized and promised to change they still talk shit to me but haven t hit me until last week my mother socked me in the back of the head for leaving the light on in the staircase of the house i felt betrayed since this is the first time they hit me in three month and i thought they really did change i screamed dont touch me and glared at her fist clenched and got wrestled to the floor and swung at by my father then kicked out of the house only allowed back in the house yesterday after sleeping on a park bench the whole weekend and eating fast food they called me and told me to come home they apologized but i know they didn t mean it just like every other time i am hesitant to fight back against my parent because apart of me still love them and who they are when they aren t angry i also know if i yell back or hit back never hit them before i would get kicked out of the house so i just take it i want to separate from them but i have nobody i could move in with and my depression affected my social life throughout my childhood with few friend that are all dorming at uni across state other extended family believe i m a bad kid because my parent twist the story around and make it look like i m the bad guy not close with any of them i have no car all the money i got from financial aid and scholarship my parent made me pay off their property tax the only thing i look forward to in life anymore is when i talk to a girl i like in one of my class never told her about my situation everyone i have opened up to this about tell me that i m being a pussy and should fight back but that would get me nowhere but back on the street or possibly hurt and injured and i don t want to hurt my parent what do i do am i a coward i just feel like life is not worth living anymore and i have lost all interest in school and my career
Classification of TEXT into LABEL: is depression , is not depression
### TEXT:
tl dr have been abused mentally and physically by both parent throughout my childhood and even now at year old very depressed and have suicidal thought failing school and have poor social life afraid to fight back because it will end up in conflict someone getting hurt and me getting kicked out of the house for the millionth time i still care about my parent for some reason and love them i dont know why and am hesitant to go to authority i have nobody to move in with not much money no car what do i do am i a coward i am currently in my second semester of community college i have lived through physical and verbal abuse throughout my entire childhood asian family beaten the crap out of every other day by drunk father my mother is mentally unstable and controlling and also hit and insult me don t want to get into specific because it would be lengthy and there too much but let just say the worst thing my father ha done to me wa crack my head against a table and i had to go to the er to get staple lied and said i knocked my head into the table by accident my mother burned me with a hair iron when i wa around ten and she say stuff like i am worthless should have never been born etc daily i am not a bad son very respectful my parent just have a lot of issue that stem from being abused from their parent too and are very controlling for much of my life i thought this treatment wa normal for example my mother would start hitting me if i didn t address her a mom when talking to her when she felt moody stuff like that not warranted last semester i took difficult stem class to be an engineer and on the morning of my calculus final my drunk father punched me in the mouth and i bled because i did not wake my brother up for school when he overslept i failed the final after that i told them i wanted to join the marine because i wa sick of home they apologized and promised to change they still talk shit to me but haven t hit me until last week my mother socked me in the back of the head for leaving the light on in the staircase of the house i felt betrayed since this is the first time they hit me in three month and i thought they really did change i screamed dont touch me and glared at her fist clenched and got wrestled to the floor and swung at by my father then kicked out of the house only allowed back in the house yesterday after sleeping on a park bench the whole weekend and eating fast food they called me and told me to come home they apologized but i know they didn t mean it just like every other time i am hesitant to fight back against my parent because apart of me still love them and who they are when they aren t angry i also know if i yell back or hit back never hit them before i would get kicked out of the house so i just take it i want to separate from them but i have nobody i could move in with and my depression affected my social life throughout my childhood with few friend that are all dorming at uni across state other extended family believe i m a bad kid because my parent twist the story around and make it look like i m the bad guy not close with any of them i have no car all the money i got from financial aid and scholarship my parent made me pay off their property tax the only thing i look forward to in life anymore is when i talk to a girl i like in one of my class never told her about my situation everyone i have opened up to this about tell me that i m being a pussy and should fight back but that would get me nowhere but back on the street or possibly hurt and injured and i don t want to hurt my parent what do i do am i a coward i just feel like life is not worth living anymore and i have lost all interest in school and my career
### LABEL:
is depression