i am a male within the armed force and never really got the chance to speak my mind about a lot of thing i wa always told by everyone thats male shouldn t cry or even show a slight a bit of sadness or else it would redeem them weak a little bit if background before the military i wa a person that would always have friend along with people i thought they would appreciate who i am later on bad luck started to come around or at least i thought it wa bad luck to this day i do not have any idea why thing happen around me or people i love it seemed like every week or month or so i would go to a funeral that wa among all my friend i made accident suicide cancer or even by natural cause so far i been to funeral at this point and not able to cry or shed a tear it seems like whenever i try to show an emotion to what ha happened it never doe then people look at me like a monster and think i am a psycho or a robot in reality i am lost in the void of either to try to keep or make more friend eventually i got to enlisting into the military to serve or find a purpose in life and eventually found myself in a deeper hole i remember i had a platoon size or so group of buddy i drank and had fun with a brotherhood many would call it a home away from home that did not really last long one by one they killed themselves due to various amount of situation either it be from a divorce or just pure depression that dragged them to the ground despite all these thing i came to the conclusion that i always will think i am a robot or even a ghost that sens nothing but just what go on non human to the point where at one point i saw them paint their brain on the wall a i walked in to give them a well needed drink my reaction wa nothing and to just calmly report it to the mp on base i am sorry elijah currently in the service still have about two year left my wife at home with the dog i do feel love for both of them but for me not at all i feel guilt in the fact of it all happening like i am the bad luck charm i been seeing what seems like people that i used to speak to and where alive around me at time my old friend that could have been around but aren t i am not much of a paranormal type person but i feel them watching me or even expecting me to join them at some point a heavy weight on my shoulder if you will i can t lose myself in thought or else they are everywhere so i keep it to myself and ruck on but believe me the demon have learned how to swim after i tried drowning them with drinking i keep going in life but what purpose what it be if i keep losing those i love whoever read this thank you to my wife a well i love you and our dog despite my dark situation i don t want my demon to win but they try every night who know if i will ever wake up to see something bright again
Classification of TEXT into LABEL: is depression , is not depression
### TEXT:
i am a male within the armed force and never really got the chance to speak my mind about a lot of thing i wa always told by everyone thats male shouldn t cry or even show a slight a bit of sadness or else it would redeem them weak a little bit if background before the military i wa a person that would always have friend along with people i thought they would appreciate who i am later on bad luck started to come around or at least i thought it wa bad luck to this day i do not have any idea why thing happen around me or people i love it seemed like every week or month or so i would go to a funeral that wa among all my friend i made accident suicide cancer or even by natural cause so far i been to funeral at this point and not able to cry or shed a tear it seems like whenever i try to show an emotion to what ha happened it never doe then people look at me like a monster and think i am a psycho or a robot in reality i am lost in the void of either to try to keep or make more friend eventually i got to enlisting into the military to serve or find a purpose in life and eventually found myself in a deeper hole i remember i had a platoon size or so group of buddy i drank and had fun with a brotherhood many would call it a home away from home that did not really last long one by one they killed themselves due to various amount of situation either it be from a divorce or just pure depression that dragged them to the ground despite all these thing i came to the conclusion that i always will think i am a robot or even a ghost that sens nothing but just what go on non human to the point where at one point i saw them paint their brain on the wall a i walked in to give them a well needed drink my reaction wa nothing and to just calmly report it to the mp on base i am sorry elijah currently in the service still have about two year left my wife at home with the dog i do feel love for both of them but for me not at all i feel guilt in the fact of it all happening like i am the bad luck charm i been seeing what seems like people that i used to speak to and where alive around me at time my old friend that could have been around but aren t i am not much of a paranormal type person but i feel them watching me or even expecting me to join them at some point a heavy weight on my shoulder if you will i can t lose myself in thought or else they are everywhere so i keep it to myself and ruck on but believe me the demon have learned how to swim after i tried drowning them with drinking i keep going in life but what purpose what it be if i keep losing those i love whoever read this thank you to my wife a well i love you and our dog despite my dark situation i don t want my demon to win but they try every night who know if i will ever wake up to see something bright again
### LABEL:
is depression