Please write a humorous/ironic script for a speech in a crowdfunding video by a man named Dr. Disaster. He is asking for $500 Million to fund a doomsday device that he calls, "The Crust Cracker 5000," which works by cracking a planet's crust like an egg and exposing the mantle. One paragraph about the general pitch, one about why people will want to donate to make such a thing, and one about what the money will be used for. Add some action lines including a comparison demonstration to cracking an egg with a spoon.
system
kripaya dow. aapadaa naamak ek vyakti dwaara ek croudfnding video main bhaashan ke liye ek vinodi/vidambnaapurna script likhen.vah ek dumsade divaais ko fund karne ke liye $ 500 million ke liye puch rahaa he jise vah kahata he, "da crust craikar 5000," jo ek grah kii crust ko ek andey kii tarah or mental ko ujagar karke kaam karata he.saamaanya pich ke bare main ek paragraph, ek ke bare main ek kyon log is tarah kii chiz banane ke liye daan karnaa chahenge, or ek ke bare main ek paisa kiske liye istemaal kiya jayega.ek chammach ke saath ek andey ko daraar karne ke liye tulana pradarshan sahit kuch ection line joden.
user
hello, main dow. aapadaa hoon, or yah...*dow.aapadaa ek chammach ke saath ek andey ko daraar karti he...ek anda tha.yah bahut santoshjanak tha, he naa?ab kalpana karen ki bade paimaane par kitna santoshjanak hoga.nahin, usase bada.yah sahi he, main prithvi ke bare main baat kar rahaa hum.kya yah bahut acha nahin hoga agar koi aisi mashin thi jo ek andey kii tarah prithvi ko daraar kar sakati he?main nishchit rup se aisa maanata hum.isliye maine yahaan ye yojanaayen banaain...* ek jatil dizin mashin ke liye blueprint khinchataa he*...main pyaar se crust craikar 5000 kahata hum. haalanki ye abhi blueprint hai, meri team or main prototip par kaam karne main kathin hai.durbhaagya se, dumsde divaais saste nahin hai.isliye hamen aapaki sahaayta kii aavashyaktaa he.ham is sundar mashin ko nidhi dene main hamaari madad karne ke liye sirf $ 500 million ke liye kah rahe hai.

ab, main koi bevakoof nahin hoon.mujhe yakeen he ki is video ko dekhakar har koi aashcharyachakit ho saktaa he, "dow. aapadaa, main ek mashin ke utpaadan ko nidhi dene main madad kyon karnaa chaahunga jo prithvi ke mul ko crack karegi? main vahaan rahata hum!"aap in vichaaron ke liye sahi hai.yahi aapako smart banaata he.yahi aap maanviya banaata he.kya aap jaanate hai ki maanav hone ke saath or kya aata he?samasya.or ladkaa, unamem se bahut saare hai.main 99% nischitata ke saath kah saktaa hum ki crust craikar 5000 har ek kii dekhbhaal karata he.kar?gaya.rin?mitaa diya.us kshtprad hangnel ki aap abhi se chhutkaaraa nahin paa sakate hai, jaise ki aap apni ungali par sabhi twachaa ko faad rahe hai?bilkul tirachha.shabdic rup se, kisi bhi samasya ke bare main aap soch sakate hai ki crust craikar 5000 ke saath jaldi or maanviya rup se hal kiya jayega. mrityu ko chhodkar;lekin ham sabhi antat mar jate hai, isliye tab tak kyon peedit hai?

*dow.aapadaa ek aadha-nirmit mashin ke saamne chalati he, iske chaaron ore lab kot main vaigyanikon ke saath.* ab, aap soch rahe honge ki ham aapaki mehnat se arjeet paise ke saath kya karenge.vastav main yah kahan jaataa he?mujhe yah aashwast karne ke liye ki isamen se koi bhi hamaari jeb main nahin jaataa he.ham vishuddh rup se ek gaiyr-laabhakaari sanghathan hai.hamaare dwaara kiye gaye prayek pratishat ko sidhe crust craikar 5000 ke vikaas main rakhaa ja rahaa he. udhaaharan ke liye, aaie hamaare prototip ke is khand par ek nazar daalen.mere pradarshan main, is tukade dwaara kii gai karrwai ek chammach ke saath kii gai thi.ise ek bade chammach ke rup main sochen.durbhaagya se, crust craikar 1 ke madhyam se crust craikar 1 is bindu par vifal rahaa he.ham sirf is grah ko khule main crack karne ke liye paryaapt bal utpann karne ke liye ek chammach bada nahin mil sakate hai.aapke paise ke saath, ham un upkarnon ko praapt kar sakate hai jinhen hamen maujuuda crust craikar plateform main jodne kii aavashyaktaa he or vastav main mental main us achche megma gu ko mil saktaa he.phir, main dow. aapadaa rahaa hum, or yah meri daraar he...*dow.aapadaa vinc*...vaigyanikon kii team.aapke samay ke liye bahut bahut dhanyavad, or mujhe aashaa he ki aap is adbhut kaaran ko daan karne par vichaar karenge.
assistant
<|system|>
</s>
<|user|>
kripaya dow. aapadaa naamak ek vyakti dwaara ek croudfnding video main bhaashan ke liye ek vinodi/vidambnaapurna script likhen.vah ek dumsade divaais ko fund karne ke liye $ 500 million ke liye puch rahaa he jise vah kahata he, "da crust craikar 5000," jo ek grah kii crust ko ek andey kii tarah or mental ko ujagar karke kaam karata he.saamaanya pich ke bare main ek paragraph, ek ke bare main ek kyon log is tarah kii chiz banane ke liye daan karnaa chahenge, or ek ke bare main ek paisa kiske liye istemaal kiya jayega.ek chammach ke saath ek andey ko daraar karne ke liye tulana pradarshan sahit kuch ection line joden.</s>
<|assistant|>
hello, main dow. aapadaa hoon, or yah...*dow.aapadaa ek chammach ke saath ek andey ko daraar karti he...ek anda tha.yah bahut santoshjanak tha, he naa?ab kalpana karen ki bade paimaane par kitna santoshjanak hoga.nahin, usase bada.yah sahi he, main prithvi ke bare main baat kar rahaa hum.kya yah bahut acha nahin hoga agar koi aisi mashin thi jo ek andey kii tarah prithvi ko daraar kar sakati he?main nishchit rup se aisa maanata hum.isliye maine yahaan ye yojanaayen banaain...* ek jatil dizin mashin ke liye blueprint khinchataa he*...main pyaar se crust craikar 5000 kahata hum. haalanki ye abhi blueprint hai, meri team or main prototip par kaam karne main kathin hai.durbhaagya se, dumsde divaais saste nahin hai.isliye hamen aapaki sahaayta kii aavashyaktaa he.ham is sundar mashin ko nidhi dene main hamaari madad karne ke liye sirf $ 500 million ke liye kah rahe hai.

ab, main koi bevakoof nahin hoon.mujhe yakeen he ki is video ko dekhakar har koi aashcharyachakit ho saktaa he, "dow. aapadaa, main ek mashin ke utpaadan ko nidhi dene main madad kyon karnaa chaahunga jo prithvi ke mul ko crack karegi? main vahaan rahata hum!"aap in vichaaron ke liye sahi hai.yahi aapako smart banaata he.yahi aap maanviya banaata he.kya aap jaanate hai ki maanav hone ke saath or kya aata he?samasya.or ladkaa, unamem se bahut saare hai.main 99% nischitata ke saath kah saktaa hum ki crust craikar 5000 har ek kii dekhbhaal karata he.kar?gaya.rin?mitaa diya.us kshtprad hangnel ki aap abhi se chhutkaaraa nahin paa sakate hai, jaise ki aap apni ungali par sabhi twachaa ko faad rahe hai?bilkul tirachha.shabdic rup se, kisi bhi samasya ke bare main aap soch sakate hai ki crust craikar 5000 ke saath jaldi or maanviya rup se hal kiya jayega. mrityu ko chhodkar;lekin ham sabhi antat mar jate hai, isliye tab tak kyon peedit hai?

*dow.aapadaa ek aadha-nirmit mashin ke saamne chalati he, iske chaaron ore lab kot main vaigyanikon ke saath.* ab, aap soch rahe honge ki ham aapaki mehnat se arjeet paise ke saath kya karenge.vastav main yah kahan jaataa he?mujhe yah aashwast karne ke liye ki isamen se koi bhi hamaari jeb main nahin jaataa he.ham vishuddh rup se ek gaiyr-laabhakaari sanghathan hai.hamaare dwaara kiye gaye prayek pratishat ko sidhe crust craikar 5000 ke vikaas main rakhaa ja rahaa he. udhaaharan ke liye, aaie hamaare prototip ke is khand par ek nazar daalen.mere pradarshan main, is tukade dwaara kii gai karrwai ek chammach ke saath kii gai thi.ise ek bade chammach ke rup main sochen.durbhaagya se, crust craikar 1 ke madhyam se crust craikar 1 is bindu par vifal rahaa he.ham sirf is grah ko khule main crack karne ke liye paryaapt bal utpann karne ke liye ek chammach bada nahin mil sakate hai.aapke paise ke saath, ham un upkarnon ko praapt kar sakate hai jinhen hamen maujuuda crust craikar plateform main jodne kii aavashyaktaa he or vastav main mental main us achche megma gu ko mil saktaa he.phir, main dow. aapadaa rahaa hum, or yah meri daraar he...*dow.aapadaa vinc*...vaigyanikon kii team.aapke samay ke liye bahut bahut dhanyavad, or mujhe aashaa he ki aap is adbhut kaaran ko daan karne par vichaar karenge.</s>
