Why would you write "What's new: I'm not at liberty to reveal the contents of this update to you quite yet. It's hush-hush. On the down low, need-to-know basis kind of stuff. Honestly, I don't actually know what they actually did, and it's not out of the realm of possibility that the developers just wanted me to go away. I'm hoping for a humanoid robot that can drive my self-driving car. So meta. Stay tuned."