It’s not fair watching today’s grade school children flounce around with both of their backpack straps in use. I always feel compelled to sneak up from behind and yank one of their straps off. It’s a little thing called humility. When I was in elementary school, one wouldn’t think of slinging both straps across one’s shoulders. Only changelings used both straps. Then in middle school, when it became permissible to use both straps, these losers finally started using a single strap, which always made me chuckle. Some people simply can’t keep up with backpack fashions.
Actually, I’m not sure why it was ever fashionable to utilize only one strap. I think it was meant to imply, “I may be going to school, but I can’t fully commit to wearing a backpack. Something could come up that’s more important than school, and I might not have time to remove both of my straps.” As an adult I realize that there’s nothing “cool” or “hip” about putting undue strain on your rotator cuff. But I still feel like yanking backpack straps off children’s shoulders, and maybe pushing them around a bit.