Concern about minor children can have a profound impact on divorce proceedings. Frequently, parents delay divorce for as long as they can when they have children together. When they do proceed with a divorce, the children can be an incentive to work together.
Divorcing parents generally need to monitor their children carefully to watch for signs of distress and take prompt action to minimize the long-term consequences of their divorce for their children. The following are some of the red flags that indicate a child has begun to struggle with their parents divorce.
It is a known phenomenon that the grades of children whose parents divorce tend to drop significantly. In fact, students who may have been on the fast track to college acceptance may suddenly start skipping school or failing courses. Repeated disciplinary issues at school and declining grades are both warning signs that children have had a tough time adjusting.
Notable personality or mood shifts
Parental divorce is often the first true traumatic experience that a child may have. Experiencing a trauma that they cannot control may lead to a change in how they act and their overall personality. A previously outgoing child may become taciturn and withdrawn. Children who were previously troublemakers may change their behavior if they believe that they may have contributed to the divorce. A significant shift in behavior, personality or mood can be an indicator that a child requires support to handle their response to the divorce.
Children whose parents divorce sometimes end many of their closest friendships abruptly. They may find that their peers no longer understand them and may seek out others who have gone through a similar experience. In some cases, they withdraw almost completely from in-person socialization and may turn to the internet as a means of connecting with others.
Children who do not have a healthy outlet for stress may develop physical symptoms because of their emotional state. Some children report difficulty sleeping. Others refuse to get out of bed in the morning and claim to be consistently fatigued. They may also report chronic headaches or stomachaches. In many cases, the symptoms are legitimate and uncomfortable. Other times, they may be a bid for attention and compassion from parents. Children may need various forms of support to adjust to life after divorce.
Sometimes, they need one-on-one counseling or family therapy sessions to heal. Other times, support groups could be beneficial. Parents may want to encourage positive friendships, artistic outlets and other opportunities for their children to express themselves or work through their frustration.
Recognizing that divorce inevitably has an impact on children can help parents prepare to support their kids. Parents who limit the conflict their children experience and the pressure placed on them in shared custody arrangements can potentially minimize the long-term harm caused by their divorce.