Are These Japanese Parenting Tactics Better Than How Americans Raise Children?
Parenting is said to be one of the hardest jobs in the world. When it comes to raising children, many parents wish there was a straightforward manual they could follow. While there are thousands of parenting books out there, it's important to remember that each child and family is unique, and not all parenting styles are the same.
Different cultures have distinct parenting styles that reflect their own values, social norms, and beliefs. As with all cultures, there are differences between American and Japanese parenting tactics that influence how children are cared for. Read on to find out how these parenting styles differ.
As of 2025, Japan is the eleventh-most populous country, with a population of more than 123 million. This country is made up of four main islands: Kyushu, Hokkaido, Shikoku, and Honshu, along with thousands of smaller islands.
The tactics used in Japanese households have drawn attention to Japanese parents and how they raise their children. These parents focus on self-regulation, independence, respect, and discipline and their methods differ from traditional Western approaches. Let’s take a look at a few examples.
1. Family Dynamics
Nuclear families are most common in Japanese culture; however, there are extended families too. Extended families are families with three generations living together. Often, families eat meals together and traditional food is important. Social harmony, politeness, and modesty are also important in Japanese culture.
2. Understanding Proximal Parenting Style
The proximal parenting style is linked to extended and regular body touch between the mother and the child. In Japan, this is the most common style of parenting. It's normal for the mother and child to co-bathe and co-sleep together.
A survey on Japanese parenting customs found that in the first two years of life, Japanese mothers were only away from their babies for two hours a week while American parents would spend 24 hours away. In Japanese culture, it's not common for parents to get babysitters or go on vacation without taking the baby with them.
3. Understanding Distal Parenting Style
Next, we have the distal parenting style. According to a 2009 study, this style focuses more on facial expression, eye contact, verbal communication, and the use of objects to interact. This type of parenting involves more distance between the parent and the child than other parenting styles. It occurs more in Western, modern, and urban culture families and it's not that common in Japan.
4. Individualism vs. Collectivism
Many Western countries, such as the United States, Australia, and South Africa, are considered individualistic cultures. This is because they often prioritize individualism and personal achievement. Many Asian countries, like Japan, are considered collective cultures because they follow social norms and prioritize the needs of group harmony instead of the needs of an individual.
5. Responsibility and Self-Discipline
Japanese children are instilled with responsibility and self-discipline from a young age. This teaches them to manage their own behavior and make good decisions in life. It's also a way of teaching them to value and work hard to achieve their goals.
Japanese parents allow their children to work on tasks independently. This teaches them important skills, such as problem-solving, and will enable them to take on challenges with confidence.
7. Screen Time
The government of Kagawa said that children’s marks have been dropping in school. Because of this, a new law was passed limiting screen time for children under 18. The new rule states that children can only play video games for 90 minutes on holidays and weekends and 60 minutes on school days. However, the government has no way of enforcing these rules.
8. Community and Extended Family
The Japanese have very strong ties with their community. Extended family and community play an important role in raising children for Japanese parents. This support and guidance helps the children to feel connected with those around them.
9. Cleaning Time
In Japan, parents and teachers implement cleaning time at home and school. Cleaning up your space is part of learning good manners and consideration towards others in their culture. Having children clean also develops their social abilities and helps to clear their minds. In the schools, children are put in groups of four or six and given roles to clean the group's area each week, which usually takes about 5-15 minutes to do.
Finally, Japanese parents put significant focus on their children's academics. Compared to many other countries, these students have longer school days and often attend after-school activities. The education system is highly competitive, which is why they have to study so hard. This competitive environment can put a lot of pressure on school-age children.