Introduction: Think of values like an inner compass; they provide direction along the journey of life. Values are a core piece of an individual’s self-understanding and identity. Values define what one considers to be important in terms of living life and interacting with others.
Adolescence is defined by a rapid period of cognitive, physical, and socio-emotional development. Young people start to actively seek independence and autonomy from parents or their family structure. They undergo identity exploration and seek out ideas and cues from their social surroundings. Their values shift as they evolve and begin to solidify in late adolescence.
Studies show that well established value sets can promote well-being, psychological growth, and community engagement in youth (Ahn et al., 2022) Values help teens spark internal motivation, goal setting and striving, and accountability. They also influence social connection, academic performance, career choices, and relationships.
Here are three ways adults can help teens discover and define their own values:
- Ask Powerful Questions
Intentional and open-ended questions can help adolescents think deeply and gain awareness around morals, beliefs, and values. As the adult, you have an opportunity to actively listen to their response and reflect back what they have shared with you. Check out this blog for tips on active listening.
What kind of impact do you want to make in the world?
How do you want people to treat you?
How do you want to treat others?
How would you want a friend to describe you?
Who are three people you admire? Why do you admire them?
What qualities do you value most about yourself? What do you want to improve?
For more open-ended questions, check out our blog on conversation starters with adolescents.
- Seek Opportunities for Exposure
Humans find fulfillment when they are able to act in alignment with their values. Values-based action and goal setting is powerful for adolescents and adults alike. Exposure to values-aligned opportunities in school, sports, life can increase internal motivation and promote growth in teens.
Value: Helping others. Exposure: Adult helps teen find opportunities to mentor or volunteer in their community.
Value: Making a difference. Exposure: Adult connects teen to non-profit organizations or helps teen raise awareness/funds for a cause of their choosing.
Value: Learning, knowledge, growth. Exposure: Adult helps teen discover learning opportunities in their passion areas outside of school – camps, seminars, free classes, etc.
Value: Teamwork. Exposure: Adult shares opportunities for teen to be a teammate – in sports, arts, leadership, etc.
- Be A Role Model
Teens look to their environments for cues on what to value and how to behave. Adults can model what it looks like for them to life their life in alignment with their values through open demonstration and discussion.
Share what it looks to intentionally pursue values-based action in your own life.
Explain how you felt during a time when you did NOT act in alignment with your values.
Tell adolescents how you discovered your passions/your values and how they have impacted your life.
Have open conversations about values in shared spaces: home, school, team, community, etc.
Need more advice? Our blog on How to Be A Positive Role Model will help!
CTA: Are you interested in helping teens discover and live out their values? Check out our accredited life coach trainings for more information.