How to talk to your kids about race and racism? Teach them to be anti-racist. Credit: Vicky Leta / Mashable
So you’ve decided to raise an anti-racist child. Perhaps something profound has brought you to this crossroads. For many parents, the murder of George Floyd, in 2020, and the nationwide reckoning that followed, was the catalyst for taking a proactive approach with the next generation.
Yet, a lot has changed politically since then. Conservative backlash to concepts like anti-racism and critical race theory, along with protests that target educators and books that address racism, challenge parents and caregivers to remain committed to raising children who understand and practice anti-racism.
Of course, for countless other parents there is no choice, only the reality of knowing how the world will treat their Black child or child of color and the overwhelming instinct to protect them, particularly from anti-Black racism.
Andrew Grant, cofounder of the educational site EmbraceRace(opens in a new tab), says that while interest in anti-racism parenting resources appears to have receded from the “high water mark” of 2020, research suggests caregivers remain quite open to teaching their kids about a race.
A nationally representative, forthcoming survey of parents commissioned by EmbraceRace in December 2022 found that 84 percent of respondents were “very” or “extremely” open to these conversations. Two-thirds of participants felt the matter was of “real urgency.” However, only 39 percent of parents reported doing anything to make those discussions happen.
Grant says this is largely because parents felt their children were too young. While research indicates children develop racial biases(opens in a new tab) by preschool or kindergarten, the stubborn myth that they’re unaware of race and racism until well into childhood persists, Grant notes.
“I really think a lot of that ‘the kids are too young’ stuff is really parents’ own fears of not being able to do their part — simply not knowing how to do it,” says Grant.
That’s where the following list of books, guides, websites, and podcasts can be useful. They provide language, context, and history that parents often feel they’re lacking when they try to tackle discussions about race with their children.
But once you’ve chosen to teach your children about anti-racism, experts say it’s imperative to begin with a reckoning of your own racial identity and beliefs. Being “not racist” simply isn’t enough, according to author and historian Ibram X. Kendi. If you cannot accept that racist ideas are everywhere and that you knowingly or unwittingly hold racist views, have voted for racist policies or politicians, or make racist choices, you will struggle to teach your child to be anti-racist.
That’s because you cannot raise an anti-racist child without honesty and critical self-reflection. This is indeed the trap of good intentions: When you believe your efforts are noble but cannot hold yourself truly accountable, you will continue to perpetuate racism and teach your child how to do the same. The journey you’re on now is hard, uncomfortable, and lifelong.
When it comes to books, which are a go-to medium for many parents, consider a few things. First, have foundational conversations about race and racism with your children before or at the same time you introduce new books on the subject, and before a national tragedy makes headlines. Adding to your library in the meantime may give you a sense of accomplishment, but the real learning happens in everyday conversation with a child — and in answering difficult questions.
Also, be sure your collection includes stories in which Black, brown, and Indigenous children experience joy, adventure, and love. Otherwise, you may inadvertently portray their experiences as suffering, and not incredible resilience.
The following list of resources to help you move forward isn’t an exhaustive compilation — these are starting points from which you can explore and challenge yourself.
Books1. All the Colors We Are: The Story of How We Get Our Skin Color(opens in a new tab), by Katie Kissinger, offers a straightforward yet engaging explanation (in English and Spanish) of melanin and why people’s skin comes in different shades and hues. It’s best suited for older preschoolers and elementary school-age children. Knowing these basic facts will help you talk to a child about race.
2. How to Raise an Antiracist(opens in a new tab), by Ibram X. Kendi, addresses the ways structural racism shows up in children’s lives and experiences, and why it’s so critical to talk to them about it throughout key developmental stages. Kendi brings his own candid perspective as a Black father and scholar of antiracism to the difficult topics he encounters.
3. Our Skin: A First Conversation About Race(opens in a new tab), written by Megan Madison and Jessica Ralli and illustrated by Isabel Roxas, is a board book that combines principles of early childhood education and activism in an approachable way for parents of young kids.
4. Raising Antiracist Children: A Practical Parenting Guide(opens in a new tab),(opens in a new tab) by Britt Hawthorne, takes concepts you may have heard but don’t fully understand — think “global majority,” “microaggressions,” and “co-conspirator” — and explains them in the context of teaching your children to take meaningful action against racism.
Tweet may have been deleted (opens in a new tab) 5. So You Want to Talk About Race(opens in a new tab), by Ijeoma Oluo, is a guide to having honest conversations about race and racism for readers of all backgrounds.
6. Something Happened in Our Town: A Child’s Story About Racial Injustice, written by Marianne Celano, Marietta Collins, and Ann Hazzard and illustrated by Jennifer Zivoin, takes place in the wake of a police shooting that leaves a Black man dead, and the reader watches how conversations about the tragedy unfold in different households. Written by three child psychologists, the book aims to give all parents, regardless of their racial or ethnic identity, tools for having tough conversations with elementary school-age children about police violence.
7. Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You(opens in a new tab), written by Ibram X. Kendi and Jason Reynolds, is a “remix” of Kendi’s award-winning book Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America(opens in a new tab). (The latest iteration of that book is a graphic novel(opens in a new tab).) The collaboration condenses the history of racist ideas and plows through centuries of time in a snappy 246 pages. Chapters are typically no longer than 10 pages. Sometimes the font is bolded and enlarged to drive home a point, and numbered lists frequently break down complex ideas. It’s a great read for both adults and young adult readers.
Tweet may have been deleted (opens in a new tab) 8. Start Here, Start Now: A Guide to Antibias and Antiracist Work in Your School Community(opens in a new tab), by Liz Kleinrock, is designed for educators who want to “break the habits” that hold adults back from transforming schools.
9. This Book Is Anti-Racist: 20 Lessons on How to Wake Up, Take Action, and Do The Work (Volume 1)(opens in a new tab), written by Tiffany Jewell and illustrated by Aurelia Durand, helps young people learn about themselves and racial oppression in a step-by-step approach.
Google Docs10. This anti-racism resource guide(opens in a new tab) was written and shared by a user named Tasha K. in the wake of Ahmaud Arbery’s death. The list offers numerous recommendations, including suggestions for topic areas like ethnic studies, teaching, immigration, and voting.
11. Sarah Sophie Flicker and Alyssa Klein compiled this Google doc(opens in a new tab) of anti-racism resources for white people(opens in a new tab). It includes recommendations for parents as well as suggested books, articles, podcasts, and organizations to follow.
12. Astrophysicist and author Sarafina Nance(opens in a new tab) put together this list of anti-racism resources(opens in a new tab), which includes information about where to donate, petitions to sign, ways to take action, what to read, and discussion questions.
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Online Resources and Websites13. The Big Heart World guide to discussing race with children(opens in a new tab) offers simple activities to start conversations about the topic, among other tools. The guide is available in English, Spanish, and Chinese.
Tweet may have been deleted (opens in a new tab) 14. The Conscious Kid(opens in a new tab) is an organization that focuses on promoting access to children’s books that feature “underrepresented and oppressed groups.” Its book subscriptions help parents discover stories for all youth age ranges, including infants and toddlers. It also publishes “critical conversations” with authors, academics, and activists.
15. EmbraceRace(opens in a new tab) is a standout source for both white parents who want their children to be thoughtful allies as well as parents of color working to raise confident, resilient children. The site offers webinars, tipsheets, book suggestions, and more.
16. The Girl Scouts’ tipsheet(opens in a new tab) on taking action against racism is clear, thoughtful, and direct. It offers readers advice on how to start talking about race with their children, how to teach them inclusiveness, and how to empower them to challenge racism when they see it.
17. The Greater Good Science Center at U.C. Berkeley shared a list of resources(opens in a new tab) to help people understand the the science behind bias and discrimination, and how to reduce or eliminate those impulses over time. It includes a reading list for parents.
18. The National Museum of African American History and Culture and the Smithsonian partnered to produce a website(opens in a new tab) on talking about race. Sections specifically on anti-racism and parenting provide valuable information and thought-provoking guidance.
Podcasts19. Freedom Means(opens in a new tab) is a podcast hosted by Grace Aldrich, a storyteller and mom, and Emma Redden, a preschool teacher. In each episode, Aldrich and Redden model conversations about race, racial violence, and colonialism.
20. Nice White Parents(opens in a new tab) takes listeners on a thoroughly reported journey to understand the fate of a New York City school. The five-part series, created by the New York Times and Serial Productions, raises hard questions about the decisions white parents make about where to send their children to school, and what that has to do with race and racial equity.
21. The Seeing White(opens in a new tab) podcast is a production from the Center for Documentary Studies(opens in a new tab) at Duke University and is distributed by the public radio nonprofit organization PRX. The second season, which explored the “history and meaning of whiteness,” is essential listening for parents.
22. So Get Me(opens in a new tab), a podcast from the Grammy-nominated children’s hip-hop group Alphabet Rockers(opens in a new tab), is for families of all backgrounds who want to work for racial justice. In their music and work with school children, the Alphabet Rockers encourage kids to practice intervening when they witness exclusion of any kind in school or out in public, including racism and prejudice.
Originally published in June 2020, this story was updated in June 2023.
Rebecca Ruiz is a Senior Reporter at Mashable. She frequently covers mental health, digital culture, and technology. Her areas of expertise include suicide prevention, screen use and mental health, parenting, youth well-being, and meditation and mindfulness. Prior to Mashable, Rebecca was a staff writer, reporter, and editor at NBC News Digital, special reports project director at The American Prospect, and staff writer at Forbes. Rebecca has a B.A. from Sarah Lawrence College and a Master’s in Journalism from U.C. Berkeley. In her free time, she enjoys playing soccer, watching movie trailers, traveling to places where she can’t get cell service, and hiking with her border collie.