Over the past few decades, parenting has undergone a quiet revolution. Gone are the days of authoritarian parenting styles marked by rigid rules, emotional distance, and an overarching demand for obedience.
Today’s parents are raising more emotionally intelligent, adaptable, and resilient children. But what’s driving this shift, and what can modern parents learn from the research?
A growing body of evidence, including a recent study from the University of Oslo’s Department of Psychology, sheds light on the transformation of parenting practices and the positive outcomes for children.
Psychologist Yvonne Severinsen’s work reveals that modern parents are far more attuned to their children’s emotional needs, often taking a supportive and validating approach to difficult emotions. This stands in stark contrast to the punitive and dismissive parenting styles of the past, where children were expected to be “seen and not heard.”
The Rise of Emotionally Supportive Parenting
One of the most significant changes Severinsen highlights is the emphasis on seeing children as individuals with their own thoughts, feelings, and perspectives.
Research shows that when parents validate their children’s emotions—acknowledging and helping them process feelings like anger, sadness, or frustration—kids learn to regulate those emotions more effectively. In fact, children of parents who are emotionally supportive exhibit fewer behavioral problems and overall better mental health.
Studies confirm that authoritative parenting—a balanced approach that combines warmth and support with clear boundaries—produces the best outcomes for children. This parenting style has been linked to improved mental health, better social skills, and higher overall resilience.
By contrast, dismissive or punitive reactions to children’s emotions can have long-term adverse effects. When children are punished or ignored for expressing strong emotions, they may internalize the message that feelings are unimportant or should be suppressed, potentially leading to anxiety, depression, or difficulties forming healthy relationships later in life.
Raising Resilient Children
One of the most encouraging findings from recent research is that children raised by emotionally supportive parents tend to be more resilient. Greater openness and inclusivity have allowed children to feel more confident exploring their identities and choosing careers, relationships, and other aspects of their lives.
Modern parenting practices—like including children in decision-making processes—help foster independence and resilience. While kids shouldn’t bear the burden of making final decisions, being given a voice helps them develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills.
This openness has also translated into a stronger connection between parents and children. In a 2023 national survey of Norwegian adolescents, 86% reported being satisfied with their parents. Another survey found that the vast majority of parents set clear boundaries for their children while maintaining close, supportive relationships.
Research-Backed Tips for Raising Well-Adjusted Children
If you’re wondering how to implement these findings in your relationship with your children, here are some research-backed tips to guide you:
- Validate Emotions: Acknowledge your child’s feelings, even when they’re challenging. Help them understand that all emotions are valid and teach them healthy ways to process those feelings.
- Set Clear Boundaries: While warmth and support are essential, children also thrive on structure. Establish rules and expectations that are firm but fair, and enforce them consistently.
- Be a Role Model: Children often mirror their parents’ emotional responses. Practice healthy emotional regulation yourself, showing your child how to navigate stress, frustration, and joy constructively.
- Foster Open Communication: Create an environment where your child feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings. Regularly check in with them about their experiences, concerns, and aspirations.
- Encourage Independence: Involve your child in age-appropriate decision-making. This not only builds their confidence but also helps them develop problem-solving skills.
- Prioritize Quality Time: Modern life is busy, but making time to connect with your child strengthens your relationship and gives them a sense of security.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Remember, there’s no such thing as a perfect parent. Be kind to yourself and recognize that parenting is a learning process.
Parenting in the 21st century is undoubtedly different from 50 years ago. While no approach is without challenges, the research is clear: modern parents are doing better than ever. Today’s parents are equipping their children with the tools they need to thrive in an increasingly complex world by focusing on emotional validation, maintaining clear boundaries, and fostering strong connections.
And as modern parents continue to evolve, so will the next generation—better prepared, more emotionally intelligent, and ready to take on the challenges of tomorrow.