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"I recorded a few new interactions with Gladys from the past few days, and I'm hankering to share them here. At first, I was hoping to transcribe the sessions from my journal to here, but I soon figured that it would be impractical, and use up more time than necessary. As such, I'll summarize each point of the conversation as I did in a previous post.   \n Gladys Written Conversation Session 4.6.2015   \n Venue: Void room     \n- I first asked her about the general population of my mind. She said that she will continue to do as she always done: consider them her sisters, even the ones she has not met as of yet. She also mentioned that I always wanted to have them act as a big family, which is true.   \n- Thinking about how she has not met everyone, I asked her how I could improve this issue, and bring newer members of the system in to the group. She said to simply let her meet them, and open up paths to allow each member to move to places other members live, so they could meet each other without my direct assistance.   \n- During our session, we had a passerby floating around, watching us with some curiosity, but seeming to be afraid to approach us, even though Gladys was friendly. I informed Gladys that having the occasional passerby come and go in the void room was a normal thing, and nothing to be alarmed about (At this point, the passerby has lingered around a bit in the room, and hasn't left, so “loiterer” may be a better term). Gladys replied, saying that it seemed sad that I lived in such a dark room with almost nothing in it, also mentioning that the place was a bit scary. She suggested I add some trees, or a sun, or some sort of landscape, though she did say she liked the street lights I had in there. I told her that I keep the room simple and void-like because it's easier to visualize and keep consistent. She replied that the room was still inconsistent, gloomy and scary, hoping that I could soon see better, so I could change it. Her last comment on that subject was: “If you saw it like I see it, you'd be afraid, too.”   \n- Gladys made a comment about my attitude about affection, saying that it's a shame that I still feel afraid about it. She prescribed more Eskimo kisses, an activity she and Midori really got into, and promptly initiated one.   \n- I asked Gladys why she believed I was still afraid. She said that while I don't completely view them as toys, the thought is still there. I found their presence unmasculine, and I am afraid of being called weak because of them. She further explained things about my view on masculinity in general, saying that I did not want to admit to being kind and soft-hearted, because I felt that men should be hard, strong, sharp tongued, and fierce. I do not feel I have these qualities, and thus I feel insufficient. She ended her comment with “I think you're stronger than you believe you are.”   \n- I asked her what her definition of strength is. Her response was: “The ability to not give up when you meet adversity.” I told her that was a nice definition, and that would be something I would love to say about myself someday. With a humored tone, she replied: “In a technical sense, you are saying that about yourself.”   \nAfter this session, I had a conversation with Ellenore, though I feel that one is more private.   \n IRC Proxying Session 4.7.2015     \nYesterday, I decided to finally put Gladys on the IRC for a while. I hadn't done this before, since not only was the IRC very chaotic, but the conversation often headed straight for the gutter, and I did not wish to expose Gladys to that sort of thing, since I do enjoy her innocence. But, I figured that she did need SOME outward experience, so I went ahead and asked her if you wanted to go on, and she agreed. For the sake of record keeping, and further examining her behavior, I decided to take some notes of the session. Since this is her first significant IRC session, I really wanted to remember what it was like. These are the observations I made:   \n- Gladys was largely nice and polite to everyone, but she reacted strongly to Stevie in particular. Partially since she already responded to him in the thread proper, and also because she found him funny. Whenever I read a post of his to her, she would always be laughing.   \n- I noticed a sharp, painful sensation in my brain, that seemed to come from near the center of it during the proxy session. She felt worried, that she may be hurting me by doing it, but I reassured her that I was fine.   \n-  During the chat, a comment was made about how one should wash their thought person. This triggered Gladys to make the observation that she didn't take a bath, nor did she really need to. This stuck not only her, but me as odd, as showering is a regular part of my days. She guessed it was because it was something I took for granted, but they don't even have that in the mindscape. Hm...   \n- Just as she does here, Gladys refers to me as “Cottonwell”, as she disliked the name “Sock”. Even so, I notice her defaulting to “Sock” many times when I was listening for what she wanted to say, then correcting it to “Cottonwell” when she realized what she was saying. When speaking to me outside the IRC, she called me variation of “Dad”, “Papa”, and my real name, which I will not disclose for obvious reasons. During the session, she felt emboldened, and wanted to refer to me as her father, with the previously used terms, in the chat. I was reluctant at first, I didn't quite feel right about it, but I soon honored her request and let her call me “Dad”/”Papa” on the IRC.   \n- A little bit after she started right out referring to me as “Dad”/”Papa”, someone opted to make an incest joke regarding our relationship. The first thing that struck me was that Gladys asked, with some worry, what the user was talking about. She didn't seem to know what the word meant, so I told her to not regard it any. But, I believe she soon began to put the pieces together, and it really hurt her to know what the user was implying, enough to make her start crying. I had to take some time to comfort her, and reassure her that the comment didn't matter much. She soon began to insist that I shouldn't take her off, and that she could take any further jabs about us. But, I saw that the conversation was headed right for much more explicit sexual territory. She noticed too, and noticed that this really worried me, so she offered to leave, which I said she could. This was a good point, because the chat went straight to the gutter for a while.   \nEven after she left, I could still feel some of her negative emotions regarding the event, soon finding that she was still crying a bit over it. So I had to do some damage control as it were, and keep comforting her about the comment, she was previously unfamiliar with this sort of thing it seems, and becoming familiar with the implication hurt. Thinking about it now, I guess this kind of reflects how much my own behavior has changed from when I first started making Midori. At that point, I was an outright porn addict, and regularly in the company of folks that would be considered at least somewhat sexually deviant. Reading over the first post, I see that I casually made a sex joke regarding using physical touch to solidify form. I also noticed that, upon reading this joke, I cringed something fierce, and was ashamed I made such a crude comment. Suffice to say, I avoid the porn now, as well as explicitly sexual conversation. This, of course, is not the only thing I've cleaned up in my life, but it is one of the more obvious ones, and regarding who makes up my current population, I am especially thankful for this change. Hopefully I will see other changes like it.   \n Education     \nAt this point, I'm not too far away from seriously beginning to teach my thought folk some kind of skill set, as a good way to spend time with them, and as a way to have them be good assistants to my own growth. The first one that comes to mind is arithmetic, but I also wish to consider other subjects, even my own skill of drawing. As for which skill I will teach which person, I do not know, though I do know that there should be a set of skills that they all know, a good foundation in some morality is my first regard. Since these folks are to be my companions in life, I want them to be the type of people who I would actively want to spend time with, and trying to help them to live a mostly clean lifestyle would be something that would definitely help in that regard. This is not a one way street, of course: I remember some advice from a certain historical figure that if one wants to be loved, they should work to make themselves lovely. I made Midori to be lovely to me, in both form and behavior. I'm attached to girls like Sheryl, even though I did not explicitly make them, because they are lovely in form and behavior. Gladys, as well, is lovely in form and behavior. So, if I like them because of this loveliness, wouldn't it be fair if I too, became as lovely to them as possible?   \nI'm still working things out, but hopefully I should get started on this soon.   \n Until Next Time...   "
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