<https://www.dinet.org/forums/topic/21317-kinda-pissed-does-anyone-ever-find-peace/>
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"I've been having a really bad day today, symptoms abound and constant migraine aura.  Somehow I found the strength to teach a class this evening, as it is about the only thing I can really enjoy anymore.  Just thinking about trying to go back to work puts me into a downward spiral.  Anymore I'm pretty unreliable, one day I'm great and try to do 10 days worth of work for fear that the next day will be worthless.  It usually is, and a few more days for that matter. I got a call the other day from the migraine neuro's office - my EKG was finally received, but we can discuss it during my appointment - not until early/mid-October.  As if I'm going to wait that long.  Next day I feel well enough I'll be driving to the local hospital to request disclosure of the test results.  Apparently it isn't bad enough to tell me now, but it surely can't be normal either, or they would say that.  I was told not to up my beta blocker.  Hmm, okay - definitely something is up. I feel like I haven't really gotten much better than this all started over a year ago.  I've been off work since July '11, yet the disability insurance apparently thinks this is all a big joke.  I'm waiting for the results of my appeal, but it will more than likely be denied.  The internist consultant said I could work with chronic migraine with no problem, HAHAHAHAHA.  What a pompous ***.  I can totally feel those of you that get dealt this ** - the arrogance of these \"medical\" practitioners is just immense.  I seriously think that most of them would do themselves in after a day or two, let alone a week of dealing with what some of us have put up with for a long time... I guess, at this point, that all I really want is to have a plan for the future or the ability to have a doctor that can actually help me seek further answers.  It is really getting old to be in the constant state of waiting, waiting, waiting to see if someone deems my suffering to be enough to warrant help.  This is independent of my employer's misunderstanding and request for me to not come back until \"you can keep a normal schedule\".  That, sadly, just reeks of discrimination in so many ways. I guess at this point, I'm curious if anyone has actually had successful treatment that has rendered them better off than doing nothing at all.  With my knowledge of alternative remedies, I've so far not had any improvement over juggling things to keep my autonomic nervous system closer to balanced than doing nothing.  The testing, doctors, and meds, if nothing else, have made me more incapacitated than I was before.  They say that ignorance is bliss, they might really be right. Sorry for having to get into a hardcore rant, but I've just been really beside myself lately.  This definitely isn't the person I used to be.  Maybe knowing what is wrong with me is worse than using my inner strength to fight the unknown.  I mean, I don't even have an ANS neuro anymore that is trying to work with me.  There has to be a better way than this, that's for sure.  I can definitely understand that most, if not all, others that don't have to be here would likely be out enjoying life.  I'm just kinda curious how the rest of you feel about things. If anyone has a recommendation for a helpful doctor in the greater SE Wisconsin area, I'm all ears.  I'd like someone that knows at least as much as I do or more about this for a change, even if that is hard to find.  I'd just love even part of my life back, if not all of it. Thanks again for listening - I'll keep researching with the hope that someday we might find something to bring us all some peace.  If we don't have hope, then what really do we have? -C "
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