_:n103ecd4942a54d1f94c524499d17993fxb0
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"\nSo yesterday we spent some time with my FiL, MiL and our two nieces.  There were many tongue biting moments.  Here&#39;s a sampling:\n\n1)  You are not 9 years old. Yes, I know you don&#39;t like Margaret Atwood, but you don&#39;t need to physically react when you see her picture in the newspaper.  The picture isn&#39;t going to jump to life and start lecturing you on feminism, (as much as I might wish for that to happen).  And really, if you could get past your own kneejerk bias, you might find that you and Atwood have more in common that you think, if you could bring yourself to read Payback: Debt and the Shadow side of Wealth.\n\n2)  If you really want your ex-wife to come back to you perhaps you shouldn&#39;t keep talking about how scatterbrained you think she is every time she is away from the group.  Better yet, if you want your ex-wife back, how about you stop stringing your girlfriend along?  Your ex-wife/my MiL knows exactly what game you are playing, and says that the fact that you would dump the girlfriend in a heartbeat if she said she wanted you back, is yet another reason why she will never want you back.\n\n3) And while we&#39;re on the subject of your girlfriend, how about instead of complaining to us about how she never comes to visit you from the town where she lives an hour away from you, you go up there and visit her?  She&#39;s still working:  you&#39;re the one who is retired.\n\n4) Perhaps the reason that you are having such a hard time relating to your 12 year old granddaughter has less to do with the fact that she&#39;s hormonal, and more to do with the fact that she is now old enough to pick up on the fact that you are her mother do not have a father-daughter relationship?  She&#39;s old enough to realize that you did some horrible crap to her mother when she was growing up and is definitely going to be on her Mom&#39;s side.  \n\nOh, and whining to us that she doesn&#39;t want to talk about the things you want to talk about, or do the things you want to do isn&#39;t going to change things.  Most 12 year olds aren&#39;t going to be excited about going to the ROM for an exhibit on Ancient Mesopotamia.  On the other hand many 12 year olds, your granddaughter who wants to be a Vet included, might be interested in a ROM trip to see the Natural History Floor.\n\nWell, that&#39;s everything that I can recall from yesterday&#39;s visit.  I&#39;m sure there were more moments.\n\n"
<https://groupthink.kinja.com/things-i-wish-i-could-say-to-my-fil-1199469211>