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"&nbsp;&nbsp;We were nearly finished eating lunch at Ruby Tuesday's.&nbsp;&nbsp; Josh (almost 8) managed to carefully stab two grapes with his fork and he said, “Look, a shish kabob.”&nbsp; That phrase reminded me of another familiar phrase that I hadn't heard in a long time.&nbsp; “Hey, how are ya, Bob?”&nbsp; It was a funny little thing my sister used to say, made funny by the way in which she said it, all together, like “Heyhowareyabob?&nbsp; Just a quirky, nonsensical phrase that was, for months and years thereafter, a reminder of her any time anyone recalled it. &nbsp;&nbsp;I asked Josh if he remembered anyone saying that?&nbsp; I repeated it several times.&nbsp; He said, “No, who said it?”&nbsp; So I turned to Evan (12), do you remember anyone saying, “Heyhowareyabob?”&nbsp; “No.”&nbsp; I looked knowingly at Allie, sitting across from me.&nbsp; It was just another reminder of times lost; of memories lost; of you lost. &nbsp;&nbsp;So, I told them it was “Sissy” (what everyone in the family calls my sister) that always said that, Heyhowareyabob!&nbsp; Josh's eyes lost focus as he thought, and he said, “I hope she's well.”&nbsp; Immediately Evan followed with, “I barely remember her.”&nbsp; It was all said innocently and honestly and it broke my heart to hear it. &nbsp;&nbsp;Regardless of the reasons we leave and the places we go, things are never the same.&nbsp; I wasn't happy with the reasons my sister left or the places she has chosen to go, but I recognize those choices are hers.&nbsp; I'm not mad at her for living her life the way she chooses and I don't hate her for the changes she has chosen to make. &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;But, as I sat there in Ruby Tuesday's, hoping my sons didn't see the tears rolling down my face, I realized that I may not be able to forgive her for denying them the chance to grow up knowing her and loving her the way I have.&nbsp; I'm so sad that they have lost that.&nbsp; I wish they could hear her say, “Hey, how are ya, Bob?” &nbsp;&nbsp;Not so well, is the answer.&nbsp; In their short, fragile memories, Bob is apparently dead."
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