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" Martin Pistorius spent nearly a decade locked\u00A0inside his body like a coffin, unable to communicate.\u00A0  When he was a twelve year old boy, growing up in South Africa in the late &amp;#039;80s, he developed a mysterious illness\u2014most likely cryptococcal meningitis\u2014that\u00A0took away his ability to speak, make eye contact, and\u00A0move.\u00A0 Doctors told his parents Rodney and Joan that their best course of action would be to take him home, make him feel comfortable,\u00A0and wait for him to die. However, Joan\u00A0said,\u00A0&amp;quot;Martin just kept going.&amp;quot; Every day at 5 a.m., Rodney\u00A0would dress him and\u00A0take him to a\u00A0special care center.\u00A0His father told NPR, &amp;quot;Eight hours later, I&amp;#039;d pick him up, bathe him, feed him, put him in bed, set my alarm for two hours so that I&amp;#039;d wake up to turn him so that he didn&amp;#039;t get bedsores.&amp;quot; This was their routine for twelve years.\u00A0  Martin showed no signs of improvement.\u00A0At one \u00A0point, his mother had grown so exasperated that she told Martin\u00A0&amp;quot;I hope you die.&amp;quot; Now she says, &amp;quot;I know that&amp;#039;s a horrible thing to say.\u00A0I just wanted some sort of relief.&amp;quot; Martin heard her words.\u00A0 Martin, who is\u00A039,\u00A0says that from the age of 14 or 15, \u00A0he started to become\u00A0cognizant of everything happening around him.\u00A0 \u00A0&amp;quot;Yes, I was there, not from the very beginning, but about two years into my vegetative state, I began to wake up. I was aware of everything, just like any normal person. Everyone was so used to me not being there that they didn&amp;#039;t notice when I began to be present again. The stark reality hit me that I was going to spend the rest of my life like that \u2014 totally alone,&amp;quot; he told NPR.\u00A0 The only thing Martin had for entertainment were his thoughts...and Barney.\u00A0 Because his caretakers at the center believed that he was in a coma, they often played the childrens&amp;#039; show on repeat.\u00A0 &amp;quot;I cannot even express to you how much I hated Barney,&amp;quot; Martin says. Besides a disdain for that purple dino, Martin was trapped in a feedback loop of thinking\u00A0&amp;quot;No one will ever show me tenderness. No one will ever love me.&amp;quot; Knowing that he could not escape from his body he believed he was &amp;quot;doomed.&amp;quot; In order to survive the sensation of constant emptiness, Martin taught himself how to detach\u00A0from his mind.\u00A0 &amp;quot;You don&amp;#039;t really think about anything,&amp;quot; Martin told NPR.\u00A0&amp;quot;You simply exist. It&amp;#039;s a very dark place to find yourself because, in a sense, you are allowing yourself to vanish.&amp;quot; Eventually,\u00A0Martin was able to come to terms with the thoughts that tormented him the most, like his mother&amp;#039;s haunting words.\u00A0 &amp;quot;As time passed, I gradually learned to understand my mother&amp;#039;s desperation. Every time she looked at me, she could see only a cruel parody of the once-healthy child she had loved so much. &amp;quot; Miraculously,\u00A0as his mind sharpened, his body also improved and slowly, Martin\u00A0was able to prove that there was a real person living\u00A0inside his useless\u00A0mold.\u00A0 Now,\u00A0no longer invisible, Martin is married. He&amp;#039;s written a memoir aptly called\u00A0"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/life/news/a19916/man-trapped-in-body/>