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"PinterestFacebookPHOTO:           For those of you who don&amp;#39;t already know me from this space, I&amp;#39;m Christine&amp;#39;s friend who helped my friends (a lesbian couple) have two babies (Lars and Oskar). I&amp;#39;ve written how we&amp;#39;re a funny little family (I spend a day or so a week with them), but that one day I still think I&amp;#39;d like kids in a more conventional format. When I last wrote, I had gotten back together with my ex-fiancee; now I&amp;#39;m sad to report that our old problems got the best of us, and again I find myself single--though still hopeful.\nThis time I want to tell you about another unforeseen eventuality of having kids with your lesbian friends: the difficulty of filling out certain rather important questionnaires, namely, ones that might help you get a date. As the onetime editor-in-chief of Nerve.com, I still had some free credits left on their personals website, so I recently re-posted my profile. They&amp;#39;ve changed the information you need to provide, and one of the new things is: Have kids? Uh oh, I thought. Do and I don&amp;#39;t. Long story. Kind of complicated. Not exactly something I can explain by checking a box. What to do?\nNow, keep in mind that they also have a relationship-status question, and I answered &amp;quot;single&amp;quot; which, in their parlance, means &amp;quot;never married&amp;quot; (if you&amp;#39;re divorced, you&amp;#39;re supposed to say so). Taking that into account, things get dicey really fast. If I say, yes, I have kids, it implies that I had them out of wedlock, may or may not be a deadbeat, and am probably quite accomplished at dodging shotgun blasts. Alternately, it leaves open the possibility that I was lying about being unmarried--which isn&amp;#39;t so savory in itself. Of course we often feel hemmed in by the limitations in forms, but this seemed pretty extreme.\nI decided I&amp;#39;d better say &amp;quot;No&amp;quot; kids for the time being, then explain later once I knew the person. Fine, call me a chicken.\nThe results, however, have been surprisingly great. I can&amp;#39;t say there&amp;#39;s been a large data sample, but the two women that I&amp;#39;ve spoken to at any length both responded really well when I told them I have two sons. In each case, I said it before we&amp;#39;d even gone on a date (hopefully that makes me a little less yellow), and both times they seemed to think it was a pretty great thing that I had done. Now, it&amp;#39;s certainly easier to say that when you&amp;#39;re just emailing with a stranger, and maybe if we get to the point of wanting our own kids it will be a lot harder. But for now it seems that my hope that Mrs. Right would understand--even approve--might not be too far-fetched. And once again I have to conclude, women really are amazing. You continue to impress me, again and again, and every time I wonder if doing what I think is right is really the best choice, I feel the support of the women in my life and I know I&amp;#39;m on the right track. Just wanted to say thanks.\nIn addition to procreating, Jack Murnighan is finishing a book called Beowulf on the Beach: How To Read the Classics for Pleasure due out in June 2009. He teaches writing at The University of the Arts and lives in New York City."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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