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" If it please the court, we now present one Peter Wallis, who responded to a paternity suit brought by his ex-girlfriend with a lawsuit of his own. His charge: breach of contract, fraud, and conversion of property. The property in question was his semen; the conversion . . . a bouncing baby girl. True story.  It would not, it turns out, please the court, which earlier this year dismissed the case of &amp;quot;the misappropriated sperm.&amp;quot; But the debate raises an obvious yet often overlooked point: In a world where half of all pregnancies are accidents, and accidents lead to unexpected children or abortions or two decades of support payments, it would arguably behoove men to wise up and shoulder more responsibility for the birth-control burden. Unfortunately, choices in male prophylactic proactivity have always been few and unpleasant, consisting mostly of losing sensation to latex or losing manhood to lasers or doing things with fruit-filled baked goods, as seems to be all the rage these days. If the scientists at Immucon, a Montreal-based biotechnology firm specializing in the avoidance of unplanned pitter-pattering of tiny feet, have their way, however, a new weapon will soon appear in the arsenal. Immucon has just received a patent for what it promises will be a decidedly more appealing option--one that not only would protect the Peter Wallises of the world but would actually increase the amount of sex enjoyed by committed couples and, just maybe, improve its quality, too. Immucon is set to perform clinical trials with the first reversible male contraceptive vaccine, an injection potentially capable of rendering a guy infertile without complication. &amp;quot;One shot delivered in the arm is all it would require to safely sterilize a man for an entire year,&amp;quot; says Immucon&amp;#039;s president, Alain Boss\u00E9. In other words, keeping your boys off the playing field could require no more effort than remembering her birthday. This male method would provide roughly the same contraceptive assurance as, say, Ortho-Novum. But there areadditional-- and significant--upsides, chiefly the avoidance of the Pill&amp;#039;s considerable side effects. Everyone knows of weight gain and water retention, but experts say that birth-control pills can also inhibit vaginal lubrication and even decrease a woman&amp;#039;s desire for sex. And this is not just her problem, is it?  &amp;quot;When men leave contraception responsibility in a woman&amp;#039;s hands, they have no idea they are creating a change in her sexuality,&amp;quot; says Norma L. McCoy, a professor of psychology at San Francisco State University. And the problem doesn&amp;#039;t end there. &amp;quot;Diaphragms, spermicidal gels, and other female alternatives,&amp;quot; she adds, &amp;quot;can all reduce how sexual a woman feels, making her less inclined to be interested in having sex.&amp;quot; The folks at Immucon believe the male birth-control vaccine would essentially eliminate many of the hidden anxieties that most women bring to the bedroom. And yours, too, if you&amp;#039;ve been suffering the ignominy of rolling on a raincoat every time you wish to wild. The idea of chemical contraceptives for men isn&amp;#039;t new by any means--it&amp;#039;s just never worked. &amp;quot;In the past, these drugs used hormones similar to oral contraceptives for women,&amp;quot; says Boss\u00E9. &amp;quot;These hormonal inhibitors affected the body&amp;#039;s chemistry by lowering testosterone levels within the subjects, leaving them with lower sex drives.&amp;quot; Obviously, transferring such a nasty side effect to man from woman is not a solution most guys would embrace. But Immucon&amp;#039;s approach doesn&amp;#039;t use or affect hormones in any way; instead, it targets proteins that naturally bind to the heads of sperm cells during their production.  In tests on rodents, one protein in particular, known as P26h (P for protein, 26 for its molecular weight, and h for hamster), has been found to be responsible for informing sperm cells when they&amp;#039;ve reached the surface of an egg. &amp;quot;Once a sperm cell distinguishes the ovum, it&amp;#039;s able to attach to the exterior and carve its way inside to fertilize it,&amp;quot; says Robert Sullivan, a professor at La Vel University in Quebec and Immucon&amp;#039;s scientific director. &amp;quot;But if the sperm cell never identifies the ovum in the first place, it simply bounces off.&amp;quot; In other words, the money shot arrives bankrupt. By introducing a fragment of P26h, the vaccine triggers the release of antibodies specifically engineered to combat that protein. &amp;quot;As these antibodies reach the epididymis, they collect on the P26h present on each sperm cell, creating a physical interference,&amp;quot; says Boss\u00E9. &amp;quot;Because the antibodies affect only the protein around the sperm, the cell and DNA within remain unharmed during the process.&amp;quot; So far, the vaccine has proven to be 100 percent effective among Habitrail residents. The clinical trials will determine whether the same principles hold true in humans, where P34H (the capital H standing for human) is the target protein. The science seems sound, but no one&amp;#039;s suggesting it&amp;#039;s time to turn Trojans into water balloons just yet. &amp;quot;Having a contraceptive be 100 percent effective without posing a single side effect is an incredibly hard promise to live up to,&amp;quot; says Beverly Whipple, a leading sex educator. &amp;quot;A vaccine that could accomplish all these things would certainly be incredible,&amp;quot; she adds. &amp;quot;But there&amp;#039;s still a long way to go before it can even begin to stand up to its claims.&amp;quot; Nonetheless, if short-term goals are met as quickly as the company expects, plans are to design an oral or nasal vaccination by 2005 that could one day be available over the counter and would last, depending upon potency, from three months to a year (followed by a four-to six-week recovery period). Boss\u00E9 expects the future cost of the vaccine to be much less than the current price of oral contraception for women, perhaps as low as $60 a year. But, he says, &amp;quot;the market will determine the price once the product makes its way to the public.&amp;quot; Boss\u00E9 believes a male reversible contraceptive vaccine has the potential to be an $850-million-a-year business. But wait \u2014 a world completely void of condom-ringed wallets, peopled with slimmer, anxiety-free women who are ripe and lusty for sex-soaked horizontality, and a few less schmoes attempting to sue for the theft of their semen? Boss\u00E9 is horribly undervaluing his market. &amp;quot;Having a contraceptive be 100 percent effective without posing a single side effect is an incredibly hard promise to live up to,&amp;quot; says Beverly Whipple, a leading sex educator. &amp;quot;A vaccine that could accomplish all these things would certainly be incredible,&amp;quot; she adds. &amp;quot;But there&amp;#039;s still a long way to go before it can even begin to stand up to its claims.&amp;quot;  Nonetheless, if short-term goals are met as quickly as the company expects, plans are to design an oral or nasal vaccination by 2005 that could one day be available over the counter and would last, depending upon potency, from three months to a year (followed by a four- to six-week recovery period). Boss\u00E9 expects the future cost of the vaccine to be much less than the current price of oral contraception for women, perhaps as low as $60 a year. But, he says, &amp;quot;the market will determine the price once the product makes its way to the public.&amp;quot; Boss\u00E9 believes a male reversible contraceptive vaccine has the potential to be an $850-million-a-year business.  But wait--a world completely void of condom-ringed wallets, peopled with slimmer, anxiety-free women who are ripe and lusty for sex-soaked horizontality, and a few less schmoes attempting to sue for the theft of their semen? Boss\u00E9 is horribly undervaluing his market.  Immucon&amp;#039;s male birth-control vaccine is just the latest in a long line of contraceptive attempts, some of which have been more effective (or more odd) than others.  2000 B.C.  Ancient Egyptians plug the vagina with a mixture of honey and sodium carbonate prior to coitus. Alternately, a paste of crocodile dung and sour milk is used.  1525 B.C. A more advanced Egyptian civilization recommends that women grind acacia leaves with honey, moisten lint in the concoction, and place the resulting wad within.  4th Century B.C. Aristotle notes that women of the day use several birth-control methods, including dousing the vaginal opening with olive oil or an ointment made with lead.  1st Century A.D. Pliny the Elder, the well-known encyclo-pedist, recommends three different contraceptives: a deerskin amulet filled with the innards of hairy spiders and worn about the neck; &amp;quot;mouse dung applied in the form of a liniment&amp;quot;; and the rolfing of the penis with crushed juniper berries prefornication.  6th Century Byzantine court physician Aetio of Amida advises men to wash their genitals with vinegar or brine before the deed.  13th Century Islamic writings recommend a douche with elephant dung as opposed to one with crocodile dung, because of the former&amp;#039;s greater acidity. 17th Century  England&amp;#039;s Charles II, bothered by the number of illegitimate children he has fathered, commissions the Earl of Condom to invent a contraceptive device. Though Dr. Condom would get the credit, animal-intestine prophylactics most likely originated in ancient times.  18th Century Inuit women brew dried, crushed beaver testicles in an alcohol solution or tea and drink it before sex to forestall pregnancy, presumably theirs, though it also takes care of the beaver&amp;#039;s.  18th Century Casanova uses an organic barrier method, predecessor to the modern cervical cap: half a lemon, squeezed and fitted over the cervix. The lemon&amp;#039;s acid also serves as a spermicide.  1840s Rubber condoms are mass-produced. Thick and vulcanized, they allow a man virtually no sensation.  Early 20th Century Scientists invent an inch-high wooden cube with concavities carved into each side to block the cervix and collect the sperm. Generally, its sharp angles hurt everyone involved.  1970s When taken by men in China, gossypol, an extract from cottonseed, successfully prevents insemination. Unfortunately, repeated use renders many testers permanently sterile.  1990s Scientists begin clinical trials with testosterone-injection therapy, which proves to lower sperm count, but only after months of treatment. Because it mimics puberty, its side effects include increased appetite, acne, and spontaneous erections whenever you&amp;#039;re called upon to go to the blackboard. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a272/esq1099-oct-emission-control/>