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"  A few months ago, I had the overachieving idea to take my newborn son and my two and five-year-old daughters to the library. While nursing the baby in a corner chair, my toddler, Elena, climbed up a very high bookshelf and nearly made it to the top. My oldest child, being the responsible good girl she is, grabbed her sister by the pant leg and yanked her down to the ground. I hobbled up, baby hanging off my breast and a hooter-hider around my neck, and tried to quell the escalating situation. Elena then threw a full-blown melt down. Until that point, I had never been subjected to the humiliation of a public tantrum of my own. I could feel other moms staring at me with pity, disgust, and judgment as I dragged my screaming child out of the library with one arm, infant car seat in the other.  This public meltdown was a perfect metaphor for the issue of judgment, and how it can bring out the unconscious and negative emotions in everyone \u2014 from the toddler screaming, red-faced and writhing on the ground, to the mom internally disgusted at her friend nursing her two-year-old \u2014 to the forefront.  At one time, I secretly believed the reason I had never experienced a tantrum was because of my stellar parenting skills. Ha, I&amp;#039;ve certainly been humbled!  Until she was two, my first child barely watched television. She ate organic food, drank from BPA-free cups, and we read to her for an hour a day. She is such a calm, bookish, and well-behaved child. When I went to play dates and saw other wild, defiant, misbehaving children, I deemed that it must be related to a lack of discipline, too much TV, or maybe a lack of sleep.  Then, I had Elena. Just like her sister, she doesn&amp;#039;t watch much TV, eats organic food, drinks from BPA-free cups, and is read to. She has been raised under the same circumstances as her sister...with entirely different results. She&amp;#039;s sassy, gregarious, and loving. She has had a few tantrums is prone to screaming in public \u2014 I have literally covered her mouth with my hand at a restaurant! This wonderful, feisty little girl helped me see the error of my judgmental ways.  It&amp;#039;s easy to judge the way other parents raise their children on topics ranging from discipline to how and what they feed their kids. I started my motherhood journey as a no-TV warrior after reading journal articles about how it affects children&amp;#039;s brain neurons and their ability to absorb new information. I avoided plastic, and when I did use it, I hand-washed it in tepid water so no chemicals became volatile during heating. I swore I&amp;#039;d do everything I could to create a &amp;quot;perfect&amp;quot; home life for my children.  I am a more &amp;quot;seasoned&amp;quot; mama now. Baby number three made it so I couldn&amp;#039;t maintain certain standards while maintaining my own happiness. I use spill-proof plastic and even put it in the dishwasher to save time (and sanity). TV has become a useful occasional tool to entertain my kids when I have a deadline (or desperately need a nap). I also have a precious toddler who I adore...who throws mortifying public tantrums. The bottom line is: I&amp;#039;ve become more compassionate and accepting. I try not to judge other moms, knowing I could soon experience her position first hand.  Public meltdowns, such as my anxiety-inducing experience in the library, can provide a priceless lesson and reminder that you too might find yourself having one of those karmic, humbling, &amp;quot;I swore I&amp;#039;d never,&amp;quot; kind of moments. Instead of wasting valuable energy sending out negative vibes or coaching them on &amp;quot;correct&amp;quot; parenting in your mind, maintain an open heart and claim a little compassion from your future wiser, more experienced self. Remember that your friend might be doing just the thing she also &amp;quot;swore she&amp;#039;d never do&amp;quot;...until now. Erin Cox is on a mission to revolutionize motherhood into a hotter, healthier, and more joyful experience, as outlined in her new book, One Hot Mama: The Guide to Getting Your Mind and Body Back After Baby. Erin is an author, life coach, and inspirational speaker in addition to being the mother of three fabulous little ones and the wife to one hot husband. To learn more, connect with her at her website.  "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/life/mom-kids/news/a14628/kids-public-tantrums-judgment/>