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"  &amp;quot;These jeans were only $30!&amp;quot; &amp;quot;No, I don&amp;#039;t care that your feet are on the coffee table.&amp;quot; White lies don&amp;#039;t doom a marriage, right? &amp;quot;We don&amp;#039;t want to upset, annoy or scare our spouse, so it&amp;#039;s easier to lie,&amp;quot; says biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, PhD, Chief Scientific Officer of Chemistry.com and Match.com. But fibbing is a slippery slope. &amp;quot;When you lie continually, you won&amp;#039;t be able to keep your lies straight. Your husband will find out you&amp;#039;re lying, and then there&amp;#039;s no trust.&amp;quot; And a marriage like that isn&amp;#039;t one you want to be in. Here, experts explain common lies women tell, how they can harm the relationship and what you can do instead of stretching the truth.  1. &amp;quot;I never talk about our personal life with my friends.&amp;quot; Some women tell their girlfriends about relationship problems, knowing their guys would be upset if they found out. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s important for spouses to feel like their marriage is a secret, sacred space,&amp;quot; says licensed marriage and family therapist Carin Goldstein, creator of Be the Smart Wife. Taking private information to a friend means you&amp;#039;re running from a problem to avoid confrontation.   Venting about your husband&amp;#039;s messy closet is one thing, but don&amp;#039;t take serious issues public. &amp;quot;If you&amp;#039;re constantly asking a friend how to solve a problem in your marriage, then you&amp;#039;re going to the wrong source,&amp;quot; says Goldstein. &amp;quot;You&amp;#039;re stunting your relationship by trying to fix the issue with another person.&amp;quot; 2. &amp;quot;I had only one glass of wine at dinner.&amp;quot;  Your husband may have told you he doesn&amp;#039;t like how you act when you drink too much. &amp;quot;Maybe you flirt with other men or yell, which makes your husband critical of you,&amp;quot; explains Andra Brosh, PhD. So now you hide how many glasses of wine you&amp;#039;ve had so he&amp;#039;s not on the lookout for bad behavior.   The problem grows when you start layering lies. &amp;quot;You might stop telling your partner where you&amp;#039;re going out or make up stories about why you drank, which erodes trust even more.&amp;quot; Instead of covering up your drinking habits, address your husband&amp;#039;s concerns and work on solutions for valid issues together.  3. &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;ve never seen Jim outside of work.&amp;quot; If you think your husband can&amp;#039;t handle your friendship with another man, you may think telling him about your relationship would create tension. &amp;quot;Partners lie about meeting up with friends of the opposite sex because they believe they won&amp;#039;t get caught\u2014and they&amp;#039;d prefer not to open a can of worms,&amp;quot; says Dr. Brosh. But if you say you don&amp;#039;t see a male friend and then do, innocent interactions can feel like betrayal if your husband finds out. &amp;quot;Tell your spouse you don&amp;#039;t want to jeopardize your marriage for a friendship with your coworker, but you&amp;#039;d like to understand what bothers him about the relationship,&amp;quot; says Dr. Brosh. &amp;quot;Work on what&amp;#039;s triggering the jealousy. When two people feel a sense of safety in the relationship, having an opposite-sex friendship becomes less of an issue.&amp;quot;  4. &amp;quot;I always watch what I eat.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;I buy these amazing coffee cakes sometimes on my way to work,&amp;quot; says Renee* from Dearborn, MI. &amp;quot;I think I&amp;#039;ll have just a piece at lunch, but end up eating half the cake. I don&amp;#039;t want my husband to know I&amp;#039;ve had that much.&amp;quot;  Although some men may care about their wives&amp;#039; munches, the pressure to eat well is usually internal. &amp;quot;Women often make presumptions about their partners without ever hearing them say anything judgmental,&amp;quot; says Dr. Brosh. &amp;quot;You&amp;#039;re judging yourself and then blaming him for preventing you from owning up to it.&amp;quot; Cut yourself some slack about the occasional food indulgence. Tell your husband, and laugh about it with him. Lying about a non-issue only corrodes trust in your marriage.  5. &amp;quot;I wasn&amp;#039;t with Katie; I was only with Jennifer and Susan.&amp;quot; If one of your friends continually butts heads with your husband, you may feel like spending time with her means aligning with her. &amp;quot;So she&amp;#039;ll tell him she went to lunch with someone else,&amp;quot; says Dr. Fisher. &amp;quot;No one wants to defend her choice of friends,&amp;quot; says Dr. Brosh. &amp;quot;But you may resent your partner for &amp;#039;making you lie.&amp;#039;&amp;quot; The solution: Have a conversation with your spouse about Katie&amp;#039;s role in your life. Your husband may better understand the importance of your friendship\u2014and like her a little better too. 6. &amp;quot;These new shoes? They were on sale.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;I bought electronic toothbrushes from my dentist,&amp;quot; says Anna* from Fairfield, CT. &amp;quot;They were $70 a piece and I said they were $50 a piece. I knowmy husband would&amp;#039;ve said our regular toothbrushes were fine if the price was too high.&amp;quot; Dr. Brosh says lies about purchases stem from the &amp;quot;power differential in the relationship, often modeled by parents growing up. The man controls the money, and the wife thinks she needs permission to purchase something.&amp;quot; Agree to discuss buys over a certain amount with each other, and feel free to keep mum when the total is under that (knowing that he&amp;#039;ll do the same). If your husband asks about a particular item, tell the truth. Past generations of men may have held the purse strings, but that doesn&amp;#039;t mean your hubby does or wants to; he may just be curious.   7. &amp;quot;I didn&amp;#039;t forget to go to the bank. I got busy and figured I&amp;#039;d go later.&amp;quot;  You may not realize you tell the tiniest lies, but it probably comes from a sense you have to give a more legitimate excuse than the real reason, like simply spacing out. &amp;quot;Lying about little things is an avoidance of feeling shame,&amp;quot; says Dr. Brosh.   Small fibs signify a deeper issue of insecurity. &amp;quot;If your partner tends to be condescending, lying might be a direct response to that,&amp;quot; explains Dr. Brosh. If you notice a pattern of senseless lies, be upfront with your husband so he can have a broader view of the situation and help you work through it.  8. &amp;quot;Of course you&amp;#039;re great in bed. I&amp;#039;m totally satisfied.&amp;quot; Whether it&amp;#039;s singing his praises or faking an orgasm, lying about between-the-sheets fulfillment happens a lot. &amp;quot;Wives don&amp;#039;t want to feel responsible for their husband&amp;#039;s shame,&amp;quot; says Goldstein.   Dealing with dissatisfaction this way actually deepens the issue. &amp;quot;If a need&amp;#039;s not being met, the problem will get bigger,&amp;quot; says Goldstein. So nip it in the bud. &amp;quot;First, ask yourself why you can&amp;#039;t orgasm. Figure out what works for your body, and then say, &amp;#039;I love it when you do this. Let&amp;#039;s keep doing that.&amp;#039;&amp;quot; Positive reinforcement encourages your husband to continue doing the things you like in bed, which ultimately satisfies you both. Bonus: You build his confidence and spare his feelings. 9. &amp;quot;No, that doesn&amp;#039;t bother me at all.&amp;quot; The honeymoon phase causes newlyweds to insist things that really bug them don&amp;#039;t\u2014and the annoyance can persist for years. If you&amp;#039;re afraid of rocking the boat, you may hold grievances in until you&amp;#039;re bubbling with anger. &amp;quot;Spouses blow off little things, avoiding having to talk about feelings and resolve issues,&amp;quot; says Goldstein. &amp;quot;But it&amp;#039;s a major issue. I just dealt with this in practice and it ended in divorce.&amp;quot; A little recurring thing is a big deal. &amp;quot;With Twitter, Facebook and social media, there&amp;#039;s so much room to act out what isn&amp;#039;t getting resolved in marriage, confiding in another person,&amp;quot; says Goldstein. Avoid that and be honest with your spouse. Try: &amp;quot;This may sound silly, but it annoys me when you put your feet on the coffee table. You leave smudges. Could you please use the footstool?&amp;quot; It may take some time (and reminders) to tweak his habit, but he&amp;#039;ll get there\u2014without you holding a grudge against him. *Names have been changed "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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