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" 1. Police helicopters always want you, and you alone.\u00A0Haven&amp;#039;t done anything wrong? Pfft, irrelevant. That distracting 3am circling is aimed entirely at punishing you for the time you spat some chewing gum out on the pavement. In 1995. When you were 11. Because most people get arrested retrospectively for something that happened while the Spice Girls weren&amp;#039;t even topping the charts yet.\u00A0 2. You are the most embarrassing person alive.\u00A0Everything you&amp;#039;ve ever done has been tinged with a nauseating green pallor of failure (mainly whilst in a ditch, crying). Meanwhile, the rest of humanity swans around in posh cars on their way back from easy yet lucrative jobs to hot dates which involve 50 orgasms. Mind you, sometimes (oh those halcyon moments) you vaguely realise that nobody else has actually noticed that you are made of solid awfulness, because there is a chance that you might not be. Or you&amp;#039;re not actually that important\u2026    3. Feeling as if you&amp;#039;re not important sucks.\u00A0Negative thoughts beget other negative thoughts. Here we go! You can&amp;#039;t win.\u00A0 4. The cat is looking at you weirdly today.\u00A0Yes, even the cat hates you. When the cat goes for a crap, it&amp;#039;s thinking of your sorry face when it ejects its effluvia on to the cat-lit you bought for it with your last sorry-ass pennies. When it throws up, it&amp;#039;s thinking of you. But the cat is still your best, most comforting, softest friend.\u00A0    5. The empty coffee cup from yesterday is looking at you even worse.\u00A0OK this is getting silly. Mould doesn&amp;#039;t develop that fast. Unless it actually does??? Maybe mould which I cultivate is different, because I suck so bad that even mould is out to get me\u2026 Oh god. It&amp;#039;s green. It smells. It&amp;#039;s coming my way\u2026\u00A0 6. Wearing a duvet forever would be wonderful.\u00A0Thing is, though, if you don&amp;#039;t get out of bed at 5am with a light laugh then you won&amp;#039;t be doing all the millions of things you&amp;#039;re supposed to be doing (everyone with anxiety has been specially selected to aspire to do the jobs of 900 people, BTW), so that sucks equally. Bed for the requisite eightish hours a night? Doing extra things? Which do I choose?\u00A0    7. Maybe \u2013 maybe - you&amp;#039;re just more honest about this than other people.\u00A0They say that lots of people are like swans \u2013 gliding along the surface but paddling like mad underneath. Perhaps us anxiety queens just have our legs poking weirdly above the water, like a really mad swan that&amp;#039;s given up on hiding it.\u00A0 8. Success is sometimes irrelevant.\u00A0Last night I won a BAFTA, got knighted and became Prime Minister. My nails don&amp;#039;t look quite right - I saw someone else with better nails - so all of this is meaningless. Google &amp;quot;Impostor Syndrome&amp;quot;. That&amp;#039;s us.\u00A0 9. Sometimes success didn&amp;#039;t actually happen.\u00A0Everybody who&amp;#039;s ever given you a job or an A grade did it by accident. They got your name confused with someone else&amp;#039;s. Even though the only other &amp;quot;Charlotte Dingle&amp;quot; who comes up on Google died circa 1800.\u00A0    10. Your partner doesn&amp;#039;t love you.\u00A0They buy you cheesy chips and stroke you and tell you you&amp;#039;re gorgeous and only stroke you and you alone because... there&amp;#039;s nothing on telly. That&amp;#039;s basically why.\u00A0 11. Your parents don&amp;#039;t love you.\u00A0They put up with you getting a Marilyn Manson tattoo on your face and a D for A-level French but they still don&amp;#039;t actually like you. What? It&amp;#039;s true\u2026\u00A0 12. You kind of possibly aren&amp;#039;t rubbish.\u00A0Perfectionism is a bitch. But there are some big kick-ass glimmers of hope in it \u2013 don&amp;#039;t you argue with me. It wouldn&amp;#039;t have the word &amp;quot;perfect&amp;quot; in it otherwise\u2026\u00A0 If you, or someone you know is suffering with anxiety or other mental health problems, visit Mind.org.uk\u00A0or call them on\u00A00300 123 3393.       "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/body/health/a42597/anxiety-symptoms-signs-struggles/>