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"    1. Wear rose-colored glasses New research published by the Australian Institute of Family Studies basically confirms what we&amp;#039;ve always suspected\u2014that having a husband who adores you, even when you&amp;#039;re feeling down on yourself, is key to a successful marriage. The study found that as women, we&amp;#039;re happiest when our husbands have glossier views of us than we have of ourselves, and vice versa. It&amp;#039;s all about perspective, which is why it&amp;#039;s smart to focus on the best aspects of your husband\u2014how much he and the kids both look forward to their Saturday afternoon playground trips or that he brings home takeout when you&amp;#039;ve had a rough day\u2014rather than the things that drive you a little nuts. 2. Cue up a rom-com on Netflix He might not take kindly to your suggestion to watch The Notebook (again), but a study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychologydiscovered that newly married couples who watched at least five movies about relationships a month and discussed them after were half as likely to get divorced over three years. Why? Talking about the way other couples act toward each other onscreen is an easy way to reflect on your behavior. In fact, these movie nights were just as effective as more intensive marriage therapy because most couples already understand what they&amp;#039;re doing well and not so well\u2014they just need an excuse to chat about it. If you want to try the exercise yourself, pop some popcorn, put on Wanderlust\u2014or one of the other recommended flicks\u2014and check out the study&amp;#039;s guided questions. 3. Skip date night We know it goes totally against everything you&amp;#039;ve ever been told, but hear us out. Instead of dinner out, where you often wind up spending the meal discussing bills, child care, and the like, try something a little bit sexier. &amp;quot;Rent a motel room for a few hours and have sex,&amp;quot; says Charles Orlando, author of The Problem with Women\u2026 Is Men. &amp;quot;It keeps your spark alive by ensuring the focus of the night is the two of you, rather than your kids, work, or the laundry waiting for you at home. At the end of the day, marriage is about two people, and sometimes you need to get out of your element to foster that connection.&amp;quot; Of course, it&amp;#039;s unrealistic to do this every time you want to spend some alone time with your husband, but work these very mini getaways in as often as you can\u2014and maybe don&amp;#039;t mention the exact details to your parents, who so kindly agreed to babysit.  4. Don&amp;#039;t be his therapist When your husband comes to you with a problem\u2014he had an argument with his overbearing boss or is beating himself up for missing your daughter&amp;#039;s softball game\u2014he&amp;#039;s not necessarily interested in hearing your advice. Sometimes he just wants you to listen without advising him how to do better next time. &amp;quot;There are times when you think you can clearly see the solution, but telling your husband how he should change may rob him of finding the lesson himself and cause him to retreat,&amp;quot; says Tonilyn Hornung, author of How to Raise a Husband. &amp;quot;That&amp;#039;s not good for your relationship.&amp;quot; And if you get into the habit of becoming more of a lecturer than a listener, he could resist opening up to you in the future, says Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger. &amp;quot;Consider it a law of physics. Your husband will be more likely to move toward you when he feels that he has room to express himself, so follow this simple rule: Under stress, don&amp;#039;t press.&amp;quot; 5. Step away from his email  It starts off innocently enough\u2014you read a text here, a private Facebook message there\u2014but this behavior can wear away at your marriage. &amp;quot;If you don&amp;#039;t trust your husband, figure out why and talk to him directly about it,&amp;quot; says marriage therapist Paul Hokemeyer, Ph.D. &amp;quot;If you just continue to go through his phone, you may never get to the root of why you feel suspicious. And once he finds out you&amp;#039;ve been snooping, the conversation will shift to what you&amp;#039;ve done wrong and how you&amp;#039;ve betrayed his trust. Then you&amp;#039;ll never be able to focus on the real issue\u2014that you feel you have a reason not to trust him.&amp;quot; 6. Stop arguing about his socks, seriously Though it&amp;#039;s tempting to nag your husband every time he leaves the remnants of his morning protein shake on the counter or doesn&amp;#039;t clean the toothpaste out of the sink, resist the temptation to fight about the silly stuff. Finding it difficult to put those annoying habits in perspective? &amp;quot;If you&amp;#039;re getting seriously peeved by them, chances are a hidden issue is being triggered,&amp;quot; says Marcie Pregulman, president of counseling service Love Your Relationship. &amp;quot;That&amp;#039;s what you should be talking about\u2014the deeper feelings underlying the annoyance\u2014not the toothpaste debris.&amp;quot; 7. Have better\u2014not more\u2014sex The average 20-something couple has sex every one to three days. That drops to about twice a week for couples between 30 and 50\u2014and it&amp;#039;s not necessarily a bad thing, according to Harry Fisch, M.D., author of The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education for Grownups. &amp;quot;It doesn&amp;#039;t matter how much sex you and your husband are having,&amp;quot; says Fisch. &amp;quot;What matters is whether or not you&amp;#039;re both satisfied with the sex once you do get around to it. Quality wins out over quantity every time.&amp;quot; Instead of focusing on frequency and forcing it when you&amp;#039;re absolutely exhausted, promise yourself that when you and your husband do get frisky next, you&amp;#039;ll devote more mental and physical energy. However, if it gets to the point where you&amp;#039;re never in the mood, start by cuddling and touching. &amp;quot;You&amp;#039;ll become more into it than you expect, and once you&amp;#039;ve had that fulfilling sensual experience, you&amp;#039;ll start desiring sex more, which is an important way to stay connected with your husband,&amp;quot; says Pregulman.  Related:6 Signs Your Marriage Will Last a LifetimeSecret Fears All Guys Have About Marriage7 Things He Wished He&amp;#039;d Known Before You Got Married "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/relationships/a18028/make-marriage-last/>