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"&lt;p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;It sucks to fail.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I want to say that it wasn\u2019t my fault, that the rope ladder was slippery and waterlogged. I know that\u2019s true, but I also know that the competitors directly before and after me grabbed it easily. If I\u2019d let go of the Big Dipper a quarter second earlier, I could\u2019ve swung higher and done the same as them. So even now, two months later, if asked how I feel about my performance on \u201CNinja Warrior,\u201D I\u2019d give the same answer I gave that night when I climbed out of the safety pool, skulking along the sidelines, dripping wet, the cameras following behind me:&amp;nbsp;disappointed.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Driving down to Kansas City to compete, I had told myself that I would be satisfied just to make it to the city finals. It was my rookie year, and I\u2019d already started to burn out from the two-plus hours of training every day, anyway. From constantly obsessing about what the course obstacles might be to renouncing beer and pizza and sour cream, I was at the end of my proverbial rope. When I arrived at the hotel that night, I refused to do my nightly routine of stretching and foam rolling; it was my great act of defiance.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The next day, I did what I set out to do and&amp;nbsp;climbed to the top of the Warped Wall.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I smiled as the crowd cheered. And I smiled as their cheers faded. And I smiled still. \u201CThis guy really doesn\u2019t wanna leave!\u201D I heard Matt Iseman say, after which I finally climbed down the stairs. At the bottom, my dad and brother hugged me, and a producer gave me instructions that I had to ask her three times to repeat. She was directing me to the Winners\u2019 Circle, a collection of folding chairs next to the Warped Wall reserved for everyone who\u2019d completed the course.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Joining the other finishers was like sitting down at a cousin\u2019s wedding: everyone looked familiar and was ready to celebrate. Earlier in the day, my brother had pointed out Meagan Martin\u200A\u2014\u200A&lt;em&gt;\u201CDude, that\u2019s one of the best climbers in the world!\u201D&lt;/em&gt;\u200A\u2014\u200Aso I sat down next to her. Like the other veterans, she was casual, relaxed,&amp;nbsp;unsurprised by her success.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;\u201CVegas is so much fun,\u201D she told me, \u201Cyou just get to hang out and train for five days.\u201D The guy next to her nodded and took a bite of a candy bar. That\u2019s when I realized I hadn\u2019t eaten in six hours, and reached for my unopened bag of snacks before watching the rest of the night\u2019s competitors. When they\u2019d slip on the Hanging Tiles or fall off the Ring Toss, I\u2019d shrug: &lt;em&gt;Better luck next year, guys.&lt;/em&gt;\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The following day, as they showed us the four new obstacles on the finals course, I remembered what Meagan had said about Vegas. I dreaded the thought of more ripped calluses and sore elbows and meals without pizza, but when I saw them, I knew I could climb the Salmon Ladder, lache across the Flying Shelf Grab, and cruise through the Body Prop if I used my legs well. For the Invisible Ladder, I\u2019d either make it to the top or die of heart failure trying.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I started to warm up.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The second time around, my anxiety was less debilitating. I was still pacing and spontaneously breaking into five-meter sprints while I waited, but I\u2019d stopped picturing myself collapsing into the water at the start line. Eventually, the producer gave me the cue, I heard the gong, and took the Q-steps somewhat awkwardly. I was thinking about how I\u2019d run the Hanging Tiles when I unlatched the bar for the Big Dipper. Then I swung and released too late. As I grabbed it, the ladder jerked down, and I felt my toe touch the water. The lights on the course flashed red, I struggled to get my feet on the platform, and backflipped off into the water, knowing that as soon as I surfaced, someone behind a camera was going to ask me how I felt about failing on the second obstacle.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;When I checked in with the producer at the Winners\u2019 Circle, I looked dejected enough that someone in the stands yelled, \u201CYou did great, man!\u201D I kept my head down. Since I was the 11th ninja to run, and 15 would go through to Vegas, I needed to wait around until I was bumped out of the qualifying bracket. I grabbed my bag and changed inside of Union Station. Coming out, I found a group of high schoolers in tuxes and evening gowns standing in the lobby, staring through the windows at the course. \u201CYour prom must not be very fun,\u201D I thought as I pushed my way through. One of them shouted after me: \u201CHey dude, how\u2019d you do?\u201D\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;After I sat down and the adrenaline wore off, I noticed that my fingers hurt. I put them in ice, but still, they hurt, as if all the pain that I would\u2019ve endured while training for Vegas had been condensed and channeled into my hands. Embarrassed to be both injured and a loser, I asked the producer to see a medic. I wanted him to tell me that I\u2019d compound fractured three fingers, that it was miraculous I hadn\u2019t gone into shock from the pain. \u201COpen your hand,\u201D he instructed. \u201CClose your first. Does this hurt? They\u2019re just bruised. You\u2019re fine.\u201D\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;\u201CI\u2019d rather have ripped calluses and sore elbows,\u201D I said to myself as I sat down again. Then, I saw Meagan, who&amp;nbsp;had gone to Vegas&amp;nbsp;the previous season. She was soaking wet; the Big Dipper had defeated her, too, which made me feel slightly better.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Eventually, I was bumped out of the top 15. I thanked the producers, congratulated those who had finished, and left with my dad and brother to go find pizza.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;When the Kansas City qualifier aired in May, I invited everyone I knew to a bar on my block and hooted and hollered when my name flashed on the final leaderboard at No. 17. \u201CFaster than&amp;nbsp;Brian Arnold,\u201D I screamed. \u201CNo big deal.\u201D Beaming, I accepted all of my friends\u2019 congratulations because I knew that I was a phony. In six weeks, when the city finals episode aired, my honeymoon would end. I\u2019d be found out.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;A week ago, I call Meagan, ostensibly to get another perspective on the course. She was coaching her kids at the Youth National Championships in Atlanta, so we chatted about the similarities between climbing competitions and \u201CAmerican Ninja Warrior.\u201D Both give you only one shot, she said.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Then, I asked her about the Big Dipper. \u201CIt was soaking wet!\u201D she said and laughed. \u201CIt didn\u2019t fly the same at all!\u201D I nodded enthusiastically. \u201CI remember kicking off, and I\u2019m like, \u2018Hmmm, this is weird. Oh no. I\u2019m actually not picking up any speed. Oh no! Oh no!\u2019 And I try to jump even though I have no momentum, and then I\u2019m in the water.\u201D This is essentially what I expected to hear, so I asked her the question that I really called to ask: \u201CHow did you handle the disappointment of failing?\u201D\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;\u201CWhat happened ...\u201D she paused for a second and started over. \u201CI don\u2019t know what I could\u2019ve done differently. So, I almost\u2026\u201D Another pause, and then she found her stride. \u201CWhat I tell my kids all the time is: Just do your best. And I think I did do my best. I think what happened was kind of random, but it wasn\u2019t from lack of trying or lack of being smart about it. It just happened, and there was nothing I could do.\u201D\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Competing on &lt;em&gt;American Ninja Warrior&lt;/em&gt; requires a certain level of comfort with the unpredictable. After prospective ninjas send in their audition tapes, they wait for months and find out if they\u2019ll compete just four weeks beforehand. They don\u2019t know what the obstacles will be, where in the order they\u2019ll compete, or if it\u2019s going to rain. Because so much is unknown ahead of time, it\u2019s easy to make a disastrous slip. For many, months of training end with a misplaced step or an errant toe. For a veteran like Meagan (or&amp;nbsp;Brent Steffensen&amp;nbsp;or&amp;nbsp;Kacy Catanzaro&amp;nbsp;or&amp;nbsp;Flip Rodriguez), disappointment is the rule, not the exception.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Meagan takes little solace when fellow champions flop. \u201CI don\u2019t ever compare myself to people on other courses because we weren\u2019t on those obstacles. Things can happen, even if you\u2019re technically supposed to be good at something. Like, you could still fall.\u201D I wish I were as magnanimous. Seeing NFL kickers, Olympic runners, and four-year &lt;em&gt;ANW&lt;/em&gt; veterans fail helped me pretend that others\u2019 gaffes were more glaring than mine, that I was the only ninja who succumbed to bad luck. That\u2019s the seductive thing about &lt;em&gt;American Ninja Warrior\u200A&lt;/em&gt;\u2014\u200Athe fatal mistakes are so minor, so seemingly capricious that victory always seems within reach. It\u2019s easy to believe that on Season Eight, I\u2019ll easily mount the rope ladder.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;When I asked Meagan if she\u2019ll compete again, she said that she has unfinished business now. \u201CEach time I\u2019m becoming a little more addicted. I have to complete the city finals course next year. And I have to complete Stage One in Vegas. And Stage Two and Three and Four.\u201D She wants to train more to prepare. Maybe she\u2019ll skip a climbing competition and fly out to California to get on some obstacles there. I said that I wished she would coach me, and she said we could plan a session if I really wanted.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;We both laughed and made plans to meet at the top of Mt. Midoriyama next year\u200A\u2014\u200Aas long as it doesn\u2019t rain beforehand.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;(This story by Spenser Mestel was originally published at The Cauldron on Medium.com)&lt;/em&gt;\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;\u200B\r\n&lt;/p&gt;"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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