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" We are now officially spinning around in circles as the world collapses before us. Kiev? On fire. Billionaires? Aggrieved and on the offensive. Our faces? A-plus. Never looked better, from all angles. Eminently fkable, if you ask us, taking eight pictures of it at Sea World as we work until we&amp;#039;re 85, all of us. We now have Selfie360, which will take a picture of your balls as the sun rises from East to West in eight simple steps, then export a 3D GIF of it like a ball beacon to your Facebook wall. We could be fixing the rest of it \u2014 we have the tools now! We have so many apps! We have every book in the world on a plastic thing in your pocket that we just leave in cabs, willy nilly! \u2014 and all we&amp;#039;d have to do is read some books or some non-trash articles and formulate a plan, but we&amp;#039;re having a particularly nice day with no humidity and whatnot, so just give me six minutes to make this GIF of my face. Again, this economy\u2014readily fixable by outing corruption. We&amp;#039;re one movement away on the free (for now) Internet. But we have instead made an app that will force people to stand in front of you at Yankee Stadium to look like a video game character rendered stupid by a controller with a broken left arrow for an entire inning. And, hey, if you&amp;#039;re into 2D stuff, try Frontback, where you can take a picture of your bored-ass self as you simultaneously take a picture of a particularly disgusting person in the food court at the mall. The country is broken by a fake binary political construct that places focus on unsolvable social issues while a few hundred people sit and angrily burn money as the rest of it accrues interest in a high-yield bank account in some other country, and, also, your face looks tremendous today, no filter. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/news/a27422/360-selfies-also-the-end-of-the-universe/>