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" I didn&amp;#039;t think my trip to New York would last more than a few days, but neither Brittany nor I are anxious to get back on a plane with ZJ, who tends to spend the entire trip either shouting or shitting (but never sleeping).  Some of the people formerly known as my relatives, like Aunt Vivian and Cousin Jilly, have been helping out a ton with the child care, which has given me a good excuse to head to the city and spend some of my buyout money on seriously delicious meals.  Yesterday, however, I was on ZJ duty, but rather than hang around the apartment playing &amp;quot;Giant Robot&amp;quot; (which involves me chasing him around saying, &amp;quot;Does not compute, does not compute&amp;quot; for four hours), I decided to take him to Central Park, which I remembered had some of the best playgrounds for kids in the city.  Okay, I&amp;#039;ll admit my motives taking ZJ there were not entirely aboveboard. The kid deserved some fresh air and fun, but his &amp;quot;Uncle&amp;quot; Zach also deserved a little playtime, too. Aside from a puppy, there are few accessories more attractive to women than a little boy. Especially when his &amp;quot;dad&amp;quot; doesn&amp;#039;t have a ring on his finger.  We set up camp at a zoo near 72nd Street with a big, winding marble slide that ZJ became obsessed with. It must have been MILF season, cause the mommies (and even a bunch of the nannies) were thumping.  Seriously, in the course of an hour I found myself in conversations with four different hot moms and one spectacular nanny from the Dominican Republic. We talked potty training, preschool, terrible twos, head lice \u2014 and amazingly I knew just to hold my own. In fact, I was making serious strides with a Russian model named Tanya, whose husband was away in Beijing at the Olympics, until the incident happened.  Said incident took place in the sandbox and involved a toy bulldozer. An older boy, about 4 or 5, was playing with his bulldozer when ZJ decided he wanted the bulldozer all to himself. He walked over and pointed to it, but the boy just ignored him. ZJ then grabbed for it, but the boy pulled it away. A punch was thrown. Both boys went down. And next thing I know, I&amp;#039;m pulling a hysterical toddler off a kindergartner.  The little boy&amp;#039;s mother also arrived on the scene, horrified but apologetic. &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m so sorry,&amp;quot; she said. &amp;quot;Frankie knows he&amp;#039;s supposed to share.&amp;quot; In the chaos and commotion, I didn&amp;#039;t get a good look at her face, but when I did I nearly pissed my pants.  It was Jesse. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/mens-perspective/a3845/diary-he-080808/>