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" Here it is, another wedding anniversary, and I&amp;#039;m still in separation limbo. Worse, I&amp;#039;ll be spending the evening sitting next to Peter, at Anna&amp;#039;s music concert. Oh, the joy. And here we are, still legally man and wife - a weird zombie couple looking like they used to be a living marriage. At the end of the evening, he&amp;#039;ll go home to his house with the woman he replaced me with, and I&amp;#039;ll go home to the kids and the cats. What&amp;#039;s wrong with this picture? Ironically, Fox published an article today (of all days) on how to make your divorce cheaper. It has some good suggestions - use a mediator, an arbitrator, or seek a collaborative divorce if your state allows it. It also brings up the smaller points that a lot of people don&amp;#039;t realize when they&amp;#039;re dealing with lawyers: time is money. Get your documents together and in order before you go to the lawyer. Save your questions up and ask them all in one phone call or email (answering them individually will cost you much more - lawyers will bill you for every occurrence). Another great suggestion they made was to chronicle your married life on a timeline for your lawyer, so they had a more accurate picture of what they should be fighting for. I definitely would like to go the route of mediation, especially since we&amp;#039;re in agreement as to custody and mostly in agreement as to support and devision of assets. My fellow blogger, Kate at 1st Year Divorce reached out to me to let me know that she had success with a mediation team comprised of a lawyer with a background in tax and real estate law and a licensed marital therapist. She also found it a definite plus that no one had to get &amp;quot;served&amp;quot; at work or home, all the paperwork was handled and signed in the privacy of an office - together. And now to find a way to pay for said mediator. Or at least half of said mediator. Even that&amp;#039;s going to be pricey. If I thought I could do it with a clear conscience, I&amp;#039;d start an Indiegogo or Kickstarter campaign to finance it. Maybe I could give away muffins or something for donations. I make a great apple muffin. Till then, I&amp;#039;ll rub shoulders in my uncomfortable auditorium chair next to the almost-ex and maybe we can talk about ways we can go from almost to all the way &amp;quot;ex&amp;quot;. That&amp;#039;d be a nice anniversary present, don&amp;#039;t you think? **Follow Ellie on Twitter or Facebook** "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.womansday.com/relationships/dating-marriage/a47945/would-it-be-tacky/>