<http://schema.org/articleBody>
"\n\tAdvertisement - Continue Reading Below\n\t\n\nBeauty and The Beast\n\nBelle and her boss at a Brooklyn start-up blog don't get along. First of all, he's really scary-looking. Second of all, he's kind of a dick. But her listicles go viral, and the two begin to see each other in a new light. Eventually they have a mediocre-to-okayish sexual encounter. Oh, and Mrs. Potts, Chip, Lumiere and the talking furniture are all an opium hallucination from the mind of Jemima Kirke.The Little Mermaid Bored with undersea life, Ariel has been working on a semi-autobiographical e-Book (yes, underwater, that's what makes it so unique) about a hard-partying teenage mermaid. King Triton doesn't approve. She manages to get it to a publisher on land thanks to Eric, who she then has a mediocre sexual encounter with. We end with her lying in bed and binge-eating kelp.CinderellaNeurotic, artsy college student Cinderella is forced to SAT tutor her spoiled, beautiful stepsisters. She has a clever Twitter. Most of her Twitter following consists of cartoon bluebirds and squirrels. She gets even with her stepsisters by attempting to seduce her stepfather. They have a mediocre sexual encounter. She cries about what a mess she is. Snow White \n\tAdvertisement - Continue Reading Below\n\t\n\nSnow White gets fed up with her Soul Cycle-obsessed, selfie-taking mom and moves into off-campus housing with seven skinny-jeaned male members of an alternative noise band. She has a mediocre sexual encounter with the dude who plays the triangle. She has a bad acid trip and goes crawling back to her mom. They bond by lying in bed and watching TLC. Sleeping BeautyRecently-dumped Aurora takes too much Ambien on a flight to L.A. and is awoken by a super-hot guy with awesome tattoos, and they live happily ever after. Or at least until she somehow sabotages it. \n\nAladdin Jasmine is sick of her bourgeoisie Manhattan lifestyle because it doesn't provide any interesting material to write Thought Catalog articles about. She wishes she were a Poor. The next best thing, however, is dating bohemian squatter Aladdin. She avoids doing laundry for a few weeks in order to get the full experience of human poverty. She returns to her parents' Classic Six when she realizes she has run out of money for kombucha. Follow Anna on Twitter.  Photo Credit: Disney/FameFlynet/Kathleen Kamphausen"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a4930/lena-dunham-disney/>