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"\nI cavalierly hand out a lot of advice about sex. Try something new. Take a field trip to Babeland. Pick up a vibrator. Share your fantasies. Do this. Do that. Have an open mind. Do it all.\nBy contrast, my own sex life can sometimes be a valuable lesson in what not to do.\nI&amp;#39;m not saying I&amp;#39;ve committed all of the bedroom faux pas below. But I have committed many of them. And I know that the other ones definitely occur as the enemy of a great time.\nA lot of the items below come as a result of nerves or self-consciousness. The key is getting out of your head&amp;#8212;when you stop overthinking things, you give yourself space to fall naturally into fantastic sex. So don&amp;#39;t worry too much about what you should be doing the next time you and your partner get naked. And follow these (very basic) don&amp;#39;ts, just to steer clear of some of the biggest orgasm-killers.\nPinterestFacebook1. Don&amp;#39;t let the dog/cat sit next to you on the bed and watch you get it on.\nYes, he&amp;#39;s a soft, adorable fluff ball, and you totally want to give him hugs. But it&amp;#39;s just creepy to suddenly look over and see an animal staring at you intensely while kneading the bed sheets with his claws.*2. Don&amp;#39;t break into a discussion of that sex how-to book you read the other day.\nAt least not during intercourse. The two of you can debate the merits of vaginal orgasms vs. clitoral orgasms vs. cervical stimulation another time (if that&amp;#39;s your thing). Analyzing what you&amp;#39;re doing while you&amp;#39;re doing it is guaranteed to kill the romance and/or eroticism.\n3. Don&amp;#39;t think about the laundry during intercourse.\nAnd if you do think about it, don&amp;#39;t discuss it. Or the dirty dishes in the sink you&amp;#39;d like him to clean before he goes to bed. Or the phone call you got from your mom that morning. Or the marketing ideas you brainstormed earlier in the day. Or anything other than how hot he or she looks, how good it feels when he does that, and how close to climax you are.\n4. Don&amp;#39;t discuss the sexual prowess&amp;#8212;or the sexual blunders&amp;#8212;of past partners. Period. Yes, partner, we know you&amp;#39;ve had sex before.\nYes, we&amp;#39;re aware you&amp;#39;re not some otherworldly, virginal being we&amp;#39;ve been sent to deflower in some sacred, magical union. But Sexy Time is supposed to be about us\u2026not us and all the people we&amp;#39;ve slept with in the past. Nothing will get your head out of the game faster than the thought that your partner is thinking about her ex.\n5. Don&amp;#39;t try to slip it in the backdoor without warning.\nAnd then pretend it was totally an accident. We all know better.\n6. Don&amp;#39;t treat his head like a steering wheel when you&amp;#39;re receiving oral sex.\nBoth because it&amp;#39;s rude and because it&amp;#39;s unpleasant to suddenly be suffocating on whatever&amp;#39;s between one&amp;#39;s lips. If you want to give feedback, try a more hands-off approach: Oh, yeah\u2026that feels good\u2026deeper\u2026deeper\u2026more\u2026more\u2026touch my balls.\n7. As an extension of the item above, don&amp;#39;t be critical.\nEven in your head. Yes, we know that you may be comparing and judging every move. But take it upon yourself to release all those opinions and get into the moment. To do this, talk about what feels good and what you wish your partner would do to you, or lead by example. Frame things in a positive light. No one wants to feel judged when they&amp;#39;re naked and vulnerable.\n8. On the other end of the spectrum, don&amp;#39;t be mute.\nYour partner can&amp;#39;t read your mind. If you&amp;#39;re not having a good time in bed, that&amp;#39;s on you. Speak up about what you&amp;#39;d like more of and what makes you feel good.\n9. Don&amp;#39;t fake the big O.\nThis is as bad&amp;#8212;and as misleading&amp;#8212;as not saying anything at all and will only lead to terrible, or sub-par, sex in the future. When you fake your orgasm, your partner assumes he (Men do fake it too) did everything right. As a result, he or she continues to do everything wrong. (A caveat: I&amp;#39;m not saying an orgasm is the only indicator of great sex. There are plenty of ways to have fun in bed.)\n10. Finally, don&amp;#39;t sprint from the bed as soon as your partner rolls over and jump into the shower as if your immune system depended upon it because EWW GROSS COOTIES.\nSure, a hot shower can feel nice post-sex. But use some tact, for God&amp;#39;s sake.\n*OK. This one is obviously about me.\n&amp;#8212;Written by Steph Auteri for HowAboutWe\nAll very important points to keep in mind! What would you add to the list?\nMore from HowAboutWe...\nGive Him the Best Orgasm of His Life: 6 Practical Tips From a Real Guy\nThe 10 Signs You Have FOBU (Fear of Breaking Up)\n10 Things Women Forget to Do During Sex\nPhoto: Courtesy of Fox"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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