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"  My husband and I have been close to another couple at work for over 20 years, and we&amp;#039;re all best friends. Two years ago, my husband had an affair with a coworker. It&amp;#039;s been a difficult road back, but we&amp;#039;re making it. The problem: Our best friends still talk to this other woman at work and at social gatherings. I told them this hurts me, and they said I have no right to dictate their behavior and that this is my problem. The husband said he was sorry I was hurt, but the wife has said nothing. I can decide not to be friends with them, but I feel bad for my husband, who could lose his best friend. He says whatever I decide is fine. What should I decide? D.G., 50, Springfield, MA Lose &amp;#039;em. Really. They&amp;#039;re not your friends if they won&amp;#039;t support you in what is, hands down, the hardest thing a married couple ever faces. True, you have no right to dictate their behavior, but their hairsplitting about whose &amp;quot;problem&amp;quot; this is and the husband&amp;#039;s refusal to own up to his role in causing your hurt is neither constructive nor kind. As for your husband&amp;#039;s losing his friend, it doesn&amp;#039;t seem like he&amp;#039;s too broken up about it if he&amp;#039;s willing to honor your wishes. In fact, pulling away from these folks will free him from associating with people who are always in contact with the other woman, and who therefore indirectly remind him of his mistake. So maybe a clean break is in order here. In the meantime, seek out friendships with people who make you feel good about yourself, your marriage, and your future. Award-winning writer Karen Karbo is the author of How to Hepburn: Lessons on Living from Kate the Great. She&amp;#039;s also a mom, a writing teacher, and a horse owner.  Need smart advice? Maybe your best friend is suddenly acting strangely. Or your parents or in-laws are making you nuts. Or your sister always takes your moms side in an argument, instead of yours. Whatevers bugging or perplexing you about your friends, brother, sister, parents, in-laws, husband, you name it REDBOOKs Karen Karbo has the smart advice you need. Email your questions, rants, and worries to her at karenkarbo@redbookmag.com and please include your initials, age, city and state. Letters may be edited for clarity and length. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/life/friends-family/q-and-a/a10850/my-friends-are-disloyal/>