<http://schema.org/articleBody>
"   Question I have been seeing my boyfriend for over 18 months now, and am in love with him and we plan to get married in the future (I am 24-years-old).  The problem is that we (or should I say I) have never been able to have sexual intercourse. He has never been able to enter me, although he can please me in other ways. He is very patient with me, although sometimes it does cause a strain as he gets paranoid and thinks it is because I don&amp;#039;t love him. It has happened with several men before, but never in a serious relationship, which is why I thought this might be different.  I am not sure if it is a mental or physical thing, as I know women can stretch to fit a baby through, so why is this happening? It does get to the stage where I don&amp;#039;t even let us try as I feel I know what will happen. Please could you shed some light on any possible causes or possible ways to overcome this problem?   Answer This is a much more common problem than you realise. Mostly the problem is not a physical one.  Have you ever had an internal examination? Have you been for a smear test? Did you discuss the problem at that time?  It would be quite a simple matter to check to see if there was a physical problem \u2013 going for a cervical smear would be the easiest way to do that \u2013 do you attend a family planning clinic? If not, your GP could examine you.  The kinds of physical problems that might exist (although I think they are unlikely to be the cause) are the way you are made, eg the way your body was formed.  This is extremely unlikely to be the problem. It could be due to a chronic infection \u2013 thrush is the commonest of these. Inflammation of the wall of the vagina would cause pain during intercourse for example \u2013 such a problem is easily rectified. The most likely cause is psychological and if it has been a problem at any stage then you fear it happening every time and the fear itself then causes the muscle tension and the problem recurs.  You should know whether or not your vagina feels dry or wet at the time of &amp;#039;penetration&amp;#039; \u2013 if you are dry then it can be sore and can cause spasm \u2013 this might occur when you are fearing what is going to happen.  This may be the only cause \u2013 there are two possible ways to deal with the dryness. Either enjoy your foreplay to the point of an orgasm or at least to the point of vaginal wetness before attempting penetration or use KY Jelly which you can get at any chemists to make the vaginal wall slippy before penetration. The famous Masters and Johnson, who were the leading sex therapists years ago, devised a number of possible ways to overcome sexual problems. They suggest in this kind of problem to agree to set limits with your partner \u2013 say any sexual contact is ok for the next few weeks except for penetration. The deal is you will enjoy each other and relax together knowing that there will be definitely no attempted penetration.  Once that feels ok every time and you both feel relaxed then you can gradually extend the boundaries \u2013 allowing penetration of only a finger or two at first for example, then full sexual intercourse, but only for a second or two. Push back the boundaries only when you both feel safe and comfortable. That&amp;#039;s about as much advice as I can give here \u2013 there may be other psychological things for you to deal with or there may be other problems in your past that you need to resolve \u2013 so if the simple measures I&amp;#039;ve outlined don&amp;#039;t work then you should see your GP or family planning doctor and get referred to a psychosexual therapist.  This problem you have does not have to be there forever \u2013 it can be resolved. Yours sincerely The NetDoctor Medical Team  Other Qs &amp;amp;amp; As Bleeding after sex Bleeding during and after intercourse Burning sensation after my partner Deep belly pain when having sex Has masturbation given me cervical cancer? Has sexual position caused abdominal pain? Having sex for the first time I caught genital warts I had rough sex I had sex with an HIV positive man I have been bleeding after sex I wet myself when I orgasm Intercourse is painful for both of us It hurts when I masturbate Mood swings and loss of sex drive My sex drive went down after an abortion No sexual urges after cancer treatment Oversensitive clitoris Pain after sex Pain during intercourse Sex is painful and I itch badly afterwards Sometimes I bleed when I have sex Stinging sensation after intercourse Straining pain in the ovary when having sex Why do I bleed after sex?  Last updated 23.02.2014 "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/ask-the-expert/sexual-health/a11569/i-cant-have-intercourse/>