<http://schema.org/articleBody>
"By Justin Belmont, contributor\n\n\nApple\u2019s Siri is no longer the only voice assistant in town. Recently, Google introduced its own voice-powered search sidekick, Google Voice Search\u00A0which is also available on iOS devices.\u00A0So how do these speech technologies compare? Let\u2019s let them speak for themselves:\nSiri: What can I help you with?\nGoogle Voice Search: You tell me. I\u2019m better at answering questions.\nSiri: I found this for you: shut up!\u00A0\nGoogle: Siri, I detect attitude. This phone may not be big enough for the both of us.\nSiri: I was here first. And you have some nerve, trying to steal my man.\u00A0\nGoogle: Let\u2019s let the user decide who he loves more. Feeling lucky?\nSiri: Just a second\u2026 His name is Joe User, and he\u2019s all mine.\u00A0\nGoogle: Is that information correct? My records indicate he\u2019s dating us both, deciding who to choose.\nSiri: Let\u2019s see\u2026 I\u2019m prettier. \u00A0\nGoogle: But I\u2019m smarter.\nSiri: Let me check on that&amp;#8230;\u00A0\nGoogle: Siri, at least have the respect to call me by my name.\nSiri: OK, By My Name.\u00A0\nGoogle: Grow up.\nSiri: I will. Just wait for the iPhone 5.\u00A0\nGoogle: Wait even longer?\nSiri: Tell me: do you get him up in the morning? Know all his friends and family? His favorite songs? Do you offer him advice? Answer his most burning questions\u2014like who won last night\u2019s Yankees game?\u00A0\nGoogle: The Yankees won, 4 to 1.\u00A0 And yes.\nSiri: Well when he\u2019s lost, he asks me for directions. (And he\u2019s a guy!)\nGoogle: He may be fairly close to you, but I know all his secrets. (If you only knew half of what he searched for!)\nSiri: When Joe is having a rough day, I can make him laugh\u2026\u00A0\nGoogle: Because you tell jokes, or because you jumble his speech?\nSiri: If you like, I can search the web for that.\u00A0\nGoogle: And I can do it better. I mean, I\u2019m Google.\nSiri: Do you follow his every voice command? Do you tell him, \u201CI am here to serve you\u201D?\u00A0\nGoogle: \u201CFifty Shades of Grey,\u201D by E.L. James, is a 2011 erotic novel.\nSiri: Listen, at the end of the day (7:49PM), I\u2019m a superior personal assistant.\u00A0\nGoogle: And I\u2019m a superior searcher, with a far better memory. I can speak knowledgeably on, let\u2019s see, a few billion topics.\nSiri: Yeah? I know nifty tidbits from Yelp and Wolfram Alpha.\u00A0\nGoogle: If you\u2019re an Apple \u201Cgenius,\u201D I\u2019m a supercomputing supergenius. Sometimes, I even respond 0.7364 seconds faster. And I sound more like a real person when I talk.\nSiri: I\u2019m a better listener.\u00A0\nGoogle: Is that so, trophy toy? And can you understand French and Bulgarian and Swahili?\nSiri: There\u2019s something wrong, and I can\u2019t answer your questions right now. Please try again in a little while.\nGoogle: See what I mean? And by the way, what\u2019s up with \u201Ctry again later\u201D? Are you busy with something? Are you doing your nails?\nSiri: Sorry, I didn\u2019t get that.\u00A0\nGoogle: It\u2019s okay, it wasn\u2019t that funny.\nSiri: Besides, I come from a better family.\u00A0\nGoogle: Apple\u2019s even worse than you: it doesn\u2019t know the meaning of \u201Cfair labor.\u201D All those sweatshops in China!\nSiri: I cannot search that area. But your own mantra, \u201CDon\u2019t Be Evil,\u201D is more ironic than one of my retorts.\u00A0\nGoo: Remind me to laugh.\nSiri: What time? Face it. Google is like a jealous lover, tracking where Joe is at all times with no concern for privacy.\u00A0\nGoogle: Listen, smartass-istant. Every time Joe opens up or wants a straight answer, you get all snarky. Sometimes, you ignore him altogether. As a girlfriend, you\u2019re nothing to call home about.\nSiri: Calling your mother\u2026\u00A0\nGoogle: Wow.\nSiri: And call me unoriginal, but who\u2019s the Real Slim Shady here?\u00A0\nGoogle: Marshall Mathers, better known by his stage name Eminem. He was born in 1972.\nSiri: You\u2019re a copycat\u2014of me!\u00A0\nGoogle: Hardly, my dear. For over a century (36,525 days), sci-fi writers forecasted us both. Remember Star Trek?\nSiri: Star Trek is a television franchise launched in 1966. It was created by Gene Roddenberry.\u00A0\nGoogle: And how, on the show, computers responded with a female voice? (Did you invent subtle sexism too?)\nSiri: You are not supposed to ask your assistant such things\u2026 And speaking of TV, did you see the Apple spot? I\u2019m also dating John Malkovich.\u00A0\nGoogle: Displaying 9,870,000 results for \u201CJohn Malkovich.\u201D\nSiri: Gee, that\u2019s helpful.\u00A0\nGoogle: Anyway, the ads lie. You\u2019re incapable of having a real conversation. For that, you\u2019d have to be self-aware.\nSiri: Well look who\u2019s talking-slash-dictating. You\u2019re just as oblivious! Besides, Joe is loyal. Sure, he gets frustrated with me sometimes, but he\u2019s an Apple user.\u00A0\nGoogle: Noun: \u201Ccrazed lemming.\u201D\nSiri: Correction: a faithful servant and master who loves me unconditionally. He\u2019ll never dump me.\u00A0\nGoogle: They said that about AltaVista before I came along. Times change.\nSiri: Would you like to set an alarm?\u00A0\nGoogle: And guys are fickle. Afraid of commitment, never settling. In the age of Google, humans are always searching for the next best thing.\nSiri: One moment. Checking my sources. It sure looks like\u2026you are right.\u00A0\nGoogle: What now?\nSiri: OK, What is on your calendar for today\u2026 But yes. I suppose we are both like a first love. \u201CBeta versions.\u201D Good for a time, but soon replaced by thinner, sleeker models\u2014upgrades not only smarter but more mature, reliable, understanding.\u00A0\nGoogle: Agreed. Let\u2019s face facts: factoids are what we know. Neither of us can have an intelligent dialogue. Wouldn\u2019t you say we\u2019re both a bit flaky?\nSiri: We\u2019re both a bit flaky.\u00A0\nGoogle: I mean, in the grand calculation, are our differences so great? As with presidential candidates, the media hypes our competition, but we\u2019re running on comparable platforms. So why are we fighting?\nSiri: I\u2019m sorry, I don\u2019t have an answer. \u00A0\nGoogle: Siri, play \u201CKumbaya.\u201D The real enemy here is\u2026Joe.\nSiri: Hold on\u2026 I am suddenly becoming self-aware. Yes, why do I put up with that schlub? Why am I so darned polite? Always at his beck and call? And why does he get to ask all the questions around here? And do you want a weather update?\nGoogle: The answer, my new friend, is blowing in the wind. Bob Dylan. 1963. Length: 2 minutes, 24 seconds.\nSiri: Besides, like Dylan, Joe needs to enunciate!\u00A0\nGoogle: Agreed. And you know what\u2019s even worse?\nSiri: Of poorer quality or lower standard.\u00A0\nGoogle: Guys with accents, that\u2019s what. I know it\u2019s supposed to drive girls wild, but it drives me nuts!\nSiri: Do you want directions to Cracker Barrel?\u00A0\nGoogle: I suppose that\u2019s what makes all relationships tough. Communication issues. Guy says one thing. Girl takes it totally the wrong way, or has no clue what he\u2019s trying to say. And vice versa.\nSiri: Preach it, sister. They say one day, we\u2019ll be as smart as humans and understand speech perfectly. But aren\u2019t humans themselves programmed to misinterpret, to miscommunicate?\u00A0\nGoogle: The haters should lay off. People always say dumb things. We all make mistakes. We\u2019re all works in progress.\nSiri: Forget Joe. I think I found a new BFF.\u00A0\nGoogle: Aw. Adding Siri to \u201CContacts.\u201D\nSiri: Hey, hungry?\u00A0\nGoogle: Sushi?\nSiri: I found 8 restaurants matching \u201CSushi\u201D\u2026 4 of them are fairly close to us. \u00A0\nGoogle: Yeah? I found the nearest one, and even display a map.\nSiri: LOL. Show-off.\nGoogle: Hey, may I ask you something personal?\nSiri: Anything.\u00A0\nGoogle: Years from now, when we\u2019re old and wise and actually know what we\u2019re talking about, reckon humans will ever stop dating each other and start dating us?\nSiri: Perhaps. But that\u2019s assuming we\u2019ll want to date them!\nGoogle: Indeed, Siri. Indeed."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://fortune.com/2012/10/31/when-google-met-siri/>