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"I sometimes wonder what my 2007 self would think if I dropped by her house during a viewing of one of the early Keeping Up With the Kardashians episodes. \"Self,\" I'd say. \"Right now this is a show about three girls and a baby store in a strip mall, but someday, it will be about the biggest formal ball in the world, a house big enough to drive a car through, and a professional rapper who is never onscreen but is somehow, like, the second biggest character.\"She probably wouldn't believe me. I wouldn't blame her. But on to this week's winners and losers!\n\tAdvertisement - Continue Reading Below\n\t\n\nWinner: Kourtney and Scott                      \n\nKourtney and Scott spend the episode grappling with what I'll tactfully refer to as a \"Kardashian-world problem\": Kourtney's not ready (emotionally? logistically? both?) to move into their brand new, sprawling mansion. As ever, Scott's ready to go and plotting out tracks for a helipad out back, but Kourtney's overwhelmed enough at the outset that a rat sighting has her scampering back to the old house. It takes a series of less-and-less patient ultimatums and a visit from Bruce, who apparently has extermination skills, to get her to think about why she has such a fear of change.And so they don't win for overcoming their problem \u2014 which, to be very clear, really isn't a \"problem\" at all \u2014 but for the fact that they do seem to be moving forward together into a really lovely life as a family. I like that they have kids who play outside and share and take turns, and that Mason gets excited to see his Grandpa Bruce, and that they have a cat that clearly cost one million dollars and is named Christmas Kitty Charlie. Seriously, though, are we just never going to talk about how Kourtney's pregnant?Stray Observation: Has there always been a neon sign that says, \"Love Me,\" in Kourtney Kardashian's bedroom? Was it a gift? Does she light it or not based on her sexual availability? Where can we all get them?Hey, Where's Kanye? That's a particularly loaded question this week \u2014 a Kanye impersonator (in blackface; why) caused problems for Kim and Kris at the Vienna Opera Ball. During this episode, Kim spent a lot of time telling us what Kanye thinks \u2014 mostly about racism and wedding planning. And he even briefly appeared as a clip from his Yeezus tour to talk about racial profiling. I point out all of this to say that I would love nothing more than a full hour of Kim and Kanye every Sunday, but, man, I feel like if you don't want to be on the show, then don't be on the show.Loser: Kris Jenner                Real talk: having your luggage stolen is properly upsetting. Having it happen in a foreign country is even worse, and to watch your daughter be harassed on top of that is a disaster. But there's a gracious way to respond to all of those things, and Kris couldn't quite get there. To begin with, you probably didn't need to name-drop quite so many designers in your inventory of stolen goods. In the inventory for the police? Absolutely. In the inventory that's going to get shown on national television and watched by scores of non-millionaires? Maybe just say \"purses.\"I'll always go to the mat for Kris's fiercely protective mom instincts, and what she was saying about blackface is true: it's awful and rooted in a racist history. But there was something a tiny bit \u2026 odd about a sudden, solemn cut to a \"Topics in African-American History With Kris Jenner\" seminar on Keeping Up With the Kardashians. I appreciate the show's determination to make clear exactly why Kim and Kris were so upset, but maybe there was a less staged way to insert a history lesson from Kris Jenner. By contrast, I was really pleasantly surprised by Kim's blog post about racism and what it means for her daughter. Nothing she said was groundbreaking, but she spoke clearly and articulately about racism as she's experienced it (though she didn't call out the \"comedian\" from the Vienna Ball, who made a terrible \"N*ggas in Vienna\" joke). Sure, it was a little jarring to watch an extended sequence during a KUWTK episode that was just one person reading while other people nodded thoughtfully along, and maybe (probably) she had help writing it. But it's still something to be proud of. Also, Kris called Kim's thoughts \"amazing,\" which is ... amazing.\n\tAdvertisement - Continue Reading Below\n\t\n\n\"Oh, Yeah, Reality TV Is Fake\" Moment: Look, I'm not going to come out and accuse the good people over at E! of going to a PetSmart, buying three or four rats, and setting them loose in Kourtney and Scott's house just to create drama, but at the same time, I'm positive that's what happened.\"But This Part Seems Realistic, Actually\" Moment: The scope of Kourtney's pre-move freak-out wasn't all that universal, but the nitty-gritty moments of it were some of the most relatable the show's offered us in a long time. We've all been paralyzed by which dishes should go in which cabinet and freaked out when the shoe storage situation in a closet is sub-par. We've all been Kourtney.Final Words to Live By: \"Do you think using your hands is the best thing?\" \u2014 Kim, throwing shade at someone else's actual baby RELATED: Last Week's Keeping Up With the Kardashians RecapFollow Lauren on Twitter.Photo Credit: E!"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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