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"Sarah is 22; AJ is 24. They met in the military on Sarah's 21st birthday, got engaged after six months, and have been married for eight months.What kind of wedding did you have?Sarah: It was so small. We went to Central Park West and just found a little clearing in a part of the woods. It didn't take a lot of planning. I got my dress off Etsy; I got some jewelry off Etsy. We set it up with the officiant, my sister flew out, and my sister's boyfriend lives in New York, and his brother lives in New York with his girlfriend, so it was pretty easy. We drove up there and we got married!\n\tAdvertisement - Continue Reading Below\n\t\n\nDid you always imagine getting married in Central Park?\n\nSarah: No! I never imagined getting married. I think it's the same for him; we're not relationship people.AJ: I'd never really had a serious relationship before her. And if I was gonna get married, I thought it'd be a lot later than this, but I just didn't want to let her go. So, why have such a small wedding?Sarah: Our families are so spaced out it wouldn't have been really convenient for them, so we thought to have a small ceremony right now and later on have a bigger ceremony. My mom was upset because she wasn't there. I felt really bad about that afterward because at the time I didn't think it was that big of a deal, but I now understand that it was a huge moment in my life and she wasn't there and that makes me feel bad about the way we did it. But my mom has come around to it now and she's accepted him as her son and everybody is happy about it.Did either of you have any fears about getting married?Sarah: I didn't really have any fears. I thought, \"It's going to be perfect because we're in love,\" and I couldn't see myself with anyone else, so we'll make it work, regardless. I think now that we've been married, I should've been afraid of some things.Oh? Like what?Sarah: Just all the bickering and getting to know each other. All couples fight, often about the same things for the length of their relationship. Like certain couples fight about sex, money, chores. Have you discovered what you fight about yet?AJ: So far, it's a mixture of all those things. We argue a little bit about money. She has some student loans we're worried about getting paid off.Sarah: And chores; he's much cleaner than I am. And when we're arguing about anything, we're arguing about sex also, because then there's no sex.What's been your biggest fight since you got married?AJ: Early on I kinda had a  problem with \u2026 I would get onto her Facebook account. I don't do that anymore but I was a little jealous for a while there.Sarah: Or, curious.AJ: Right, curious.So you would look at her Facebook or you would log in to her Facebook?AJ: I would log in. Did you find what you were looking for?AJ: No. No, not really. I didn't find anything. But she obviously did find out I was looking through her stuff.Sarah: Yeah! Because he wouldn't delete the history. I'd go into my history and see a bunch of pages that I never opened. So he was just really bad at it. I'd ask him, \"Did you go through my computer?\" and we'd argue. I think we're past that now. Now if he wants to know anything, he'll just ask me. AJ, what was your worry? AJ: She would tell me, like not trying to rub it in my face, but she would tell me there were certain guys she was working with that were hitting on her and stuff. She was just telling me just to be up front, but in the back of my mind I was still kinda worried. I was just insecure.Sarah, why were you provoking his insecurities?!Sarah: I thought I was just being honest! But it's an issue we've worked on and if I were in his shoes, if there were girls at work hitting on him, I'd be worried about it too. So what have you learned from that experience?AJ: That I can trust her 100 percent. I saw when I was looking at her account that nothing was going on and I saw that it was breaking her heart when I was doing it. I haven't looked at anything of hers for months now. Isn't that a nice feeling that she can find out you did that and everything is OK?AJ: Yeah.What's been the most surprising thing so far?Sarah: Probably us getting pregnant!Congratulations!  Were you planning it?\n\tAdvertisement - Continue Reading Below\n\t\n\nSarah: No! We weren't planning it, but I knew my birth control was up and I kinda didn't want to get on birth control again, so we weren't not trying, but we weren't expecting  anything to happen so soon. Have you told everybody?Sarah: We told our parents, but not friends yet.How excited are your parents? Sarah: Oh, they're ecstatic.AJ: My mom was screaming, pretty much. She can't wait to be a grandmother.Has your sex life changed at all since you got married?Sarah: Right now, especially, I'm feeling nauseated and I don't want to have sex, like, at all, and I'm starting to feel bad. It'll get a lot better soon. Have you had to compromise on anything in your marriage?\n\nSarah: We had a discussion about last names and I wanted our kids to have hyphenated names because I'm a feminist, but I haven't changed my last name yet because ... I'm just holding on to it. I don't know why it's so hard for me to change my last name.AJ, what's your thinking on it?AJ: Well, before we got married, she told me she was gonna change her name. I just sometimes feel like she's never gonna. It's probably a little superficial. I'm just more traditional in that sense. That's how my parents and grandparents did it.Do you feel like she's not fully committed until she takes your name or something?AJ: Yeah!Sarah: What more do you want from this woman! She wears your ring, she signed the paper ...Sarah: I'm having his baby!  I really do wanna do it, though, and I'm not trying to lead him on, but it's just like a really big issue for me. My mom has been married twice and she just changed her name like that and I never imagined myself to be married. And then one day, just because I get married, I have to be Sarah ? Could you see letting it go, AJ?AJ: I could. I think I'm at the point with it now where I'm alright with it either way. I just want the straight answer \u2014 is it gonna happen or not?What are you looking forward to in your marriage?AJ: Besides the baby? Sarah: I'm looking forward to getting out of here. I think we're both looking forward to moving to a bigger place.AJ: Even though we're in the military, we're both taking classes right now and going to school. We're looking forward to getting our degrees and then maybe mov to a bigger city. We kinda want our kids to experience living in a big city. \n\tAdvertisement - Continue Reading Below\n\t\n\nSarah: We talk about that all the time. We talk about how in 10 years we'll be settled into the life we want and we're just working toward that. He's got big dreams and I totally believe in him and we've got the military to back us up and we're taking things a step at a time and we just want to be where we need to be so we don't have to worry about what we're worrying about.What's the best thing you've done for your marriage so far?AJ: For a time there we were going through a pretty rough patch and we actually started going to counseling. We've been to like six sessions now. She mentioned counseling to me early on and I was really hesitant toward it, like I didn't want to do it because I thought, I don't want someone else telling me how to do my marriage! or whatever. But I came around to it and it's definitely helped out a lot and I realize  I should've listened to her earlier.What made you bring it up early on?\n\nSarah: I just felt like we were jumping in too fast and for a little bit, in the beginning of our marriage, I felt panicked a little bit, like, Oh my goodness, what am I doing?! I thought maybe if we did a few sessions together it would teach us tools and I look at counseling like that. It gives you tools to better communicate and just to be a better person.The Secret Life of Marrieds is a weekly series of interviews with married couples about the things no one tells you about marriage. Check back every Tuesday at 1 p.m. EST for a new interview. Previously: How to Survive Fights About Money.RELATED: 20 Things No One Tells You About Wedding PlanningJane Marie is a writer living in Los Angeles. Follow her on Twitter."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/q-and-a/a29040/the-secret-life-of-marrieds-aj-sarah/>