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" As the story goes, in 1966 filmmaker Marty DiBergi heard a band at the Electric Banana in New York City called Spinal Pap Tap, a band that, to him, &amp;quot;redefined the word rock &amp;#039;n&amp;#039; roll.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;I remember being knocked out by their exuberance, their raw power, and their punctuality,&amp;quot; he states. Thus begins This Is Spinal Tap, the mock rockumentary, released thirty years ago this week, about the fictive ill-fated British group. When the Rob Reiner-directed film came out in 1984, no one saw it, but it found new life in the following decades, and has since become a revered gut-punching comedy about a composite rock band (think Led Zeppelin, Yes, Beatles, the Stones, and Queen rolled into one) on a comeback American tour, who are tested with Murphy&amp;#039;s law situations and clich\u00E9 internal band fissures. Today&amp;#039;s rock bands have become soft in comparison. Sure, Spinal Tap made a lot of mistakes, but as their manager Ian Faith said in the film: &amp;quot;For one thing that goes wrong, a hundred things go right.&amp;quot; Modern indie and rock bands can learn a lot from these guys. 1. The drummer is the most vulnerable member of the band. The reoccurring joke in Spinal Tap is all of its drummers die, including one who died in a &amp;quot;bizarre gardening accident.&amp;quot; Their second drummer died this way:  Another drummer spontaneously combusted at a jazz-blues (or was it blues-jazz?) fest. &amp;quot;You know, several, you know, dozens of people spontaneously combust each year,&amp;quot; singer David St. Hubbins (Michael McKean) says. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s just not really widely reported.&amp;quot;  Near the end of the tour, drummer Mick Shrimpton spontaneously combusts right in the middle of a performance. People dismiss drummers all the time \u2014 they&amp;#039;re not as vital or well-known as the lead singer \u2014 but when percussionists join a band, they should be made aware of the harsh fate they may suffer. 2. Releasing an album cover without cover art is the way to go.  Originally, the band&amp;#039;s album art for Smell the Glove featured a lubed-up naked woman wearing a dog collar and a leash held by a man sticking a glove in her face.  Of course, this offended Polymer, the band&amp;#039;s label. The label&amp;#039;s artist relations person, Bobbi Flekman (Fran Drescher), opines: &amp;quot;I don&amp;#039;t think a sexy cover is the answer for why an album sells or doesn&amp;#039;t sell.&amp;quot;   To the dismay of the group, the record gets released as a black cover with no text \u2014 kind of like Prince&amp;#039;s The Black Album and Metallica&amp;#039;s self-titled record. Bands today are always jockeying for interesting and/or offensive art work to move albums, but releasing this type of album builds mystery, and as Ian Faith suggests, &amp;quot;death sells.&amp;quot; 3. Keep production costs low. Artists like Kanye, U2, and NIN spent millions to erect fantastical stage shows for their fans, but it&amp;#039;s best to keep it miniature minimal. Spinal Tap decides to spice up their show and commissions an artist to build a Stonehenge replica to complement their song &amp;quot;Stonehenge.&amp;quot;  Lead guitarist Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest) draws a model on a napkin and writes the dimensions as 18 inches instead of 18 feet, misleading the designer (Angelica Houston) to build a diminutive prop.   &amp;quot;I think the problem may have been that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf,&amp;quot; says an exasperated St. Hubbins. &amp;quot;All right? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.&amp;quot; Yes, the incident embarrassed the band, but it was cheaper than rendering the real thing. Kanye, Bono, et al., should take note. 4. Hire a manager who&amp;#039;s willing to go to bat for you.  A lot of indie bands today are touring without a manager \u2014 someone who can get anything done for them. During an interview, DiBergi (Rob Reiner) asks manager Ian Faith why he has a cricket bat. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s come in useful on a couple of situations,&amp;quot; he says. &amp;quot;Certainly in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is quite often useful.&amp;quot;  As a manager, Faith deals with the band&amp;#039;s day-to-day minutiae, like Nigel&amp;#039;s confounding sandwich situation. He tries to explain to Nigel how to eat mini-sandwiches, to no avail.  A calm, cool manager is all a band really needs. 5. Play any venue you&amp;#039;re offered, even if it seems like a step backward.  Spinal Tap went from playing 10,000-capacity arenas on their last tour to 1,500-person venues on this tour. It may seem like their popularity is waning \u2014 as DiBergi puts it \u2014 but it&amp;#039;s really because &amp;quot;their appeal is becoming more selective,&amp;quot; and apparently obscure.  The more unique the venue, the better. Spinal Tarp Tap obliges a request from Lindberg Air Force Base. Support the troops!  Nigel gets a little fed up (or is he just being a rock star?) and smashes his guitar during &amp;quot;Sex Farm.&amp;quot;  Later on, the guys get booked at Themeland Amusement Park. &amp;quot;If I told them once I&amp;#039;ve told them a hundred times, to put Spinal Tap first and puppet show last,&amp;quot; says the band&amp;#039;s new Yoko-esque manager, Jeanine Pettibone. Really, playing an amusement park isn&amp;#039;t a step down at all. It&amp;#039;s a means for a band to reach people they normally wouldn&amp;#039;t reach, like puppet fanatics. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/entertainment/movies/a27645/spinal-tap-lessons/>