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"FacebookPinterest\n\n Attention, Googlers. You&amp;#39;re about to wear the future on your face. I refer, of course, to Google glasses, the computerized spectacles due out later this year, which have the potential to recast all human perspective and permanently sear everyone who wears them with The Mark of The Nerd.\n\n Let&amp;#39;s skip past the style question and the, well, optics for a moment. Let&amp;#39;s not get bogged down in dark thoughts, like: Wait, we&amp;#39;re going to take advice on fashion accessories from the same company that employs Eric Schmidt? Serial eyewear offender? Grand Poo-Bah of the Secret Order of Nerdus Maximus? And let&amp;#39;s repress the fact that early prototypes of the device appeared alarmingly goobery, in shades of color that include &amp;quot;tangerine&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;sky.&amp;quot; The glasses looked large and lunar, crypto-paranoid, like something Bono&amp;#39;s security goons would wear to a G8 event.\n\n Let&amp;#39;s just concentrate on the technology, which, honestly, I&amp;#39;m amazed by. It recalls the promise of those X-ray glasses you could buy in the back of comic books when you were a kid so as to see through people&amp;#39;s clothes. Only these things work. A mini-processor is attached to the rim of the glasses, enabling a small screen that pops up in the wearer&amp;#39;s field of vision. Imagine if you could search online for anything, anytime, and the results would appear in, like, your eye sockets. Or imagine if little snippets of How I Met Your Mother were playing constantly in the corner of your eye, like an errant lash. Everything&amp;#39;s at your command. All you&amp;#39;ve got to do is say &amp;quot;Okay, Glasses, take a video&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;Okay, Glasses, do any naked photographs exist of Scarlett Johansson that I could upload while pretending to listen to my girlfriend?&amp;quot;\n\n It&amp;#39;s funny that the company&amp;#39;s promotional videos for the product accentuate adventure\u2014skydive with Google glasses on! take a video of your real-time experience and post it immediately!\u2014because although the technology is groundbreaking, the use of it feels, on a species level, like a move away from adventure. For techies, the glasses are a triumphant, long-awaited move toward what they call &amp;quot;ubiquitous computing.&amp;quot; Pretty rad in theory, but um: You are jumping out of a plane in order to look at a tiny screen in the corner of your eye?\n\n Recently Google announced a contest to get people psyched to walk around in the glasses once they come out. They&amp;#39;re looking for &amp;quot;bold, creative individuals&amp;quot; who will be among the first to try out the specs. You just have to post a short plea to #ifihadglass (and shell out $1,500 for the glasses if you get picked).\n\n So now, because I love a challenge more than I love eyesight, I want to be the very, very, very first person to own a pair. So here goes:\n\n Dear Google, I am a bold, creative individual! I wanted Google glasses before anyone knew what they were. I ordered them on Amazon in 1979 and they never came. I need them. The things that I would do include virtual texting and paragliding. I would jump out of airplanes while voicing commands and asking all the Big Questions I usually ask you, such as &amp;quot;How old is Neil Diamond?&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;Ira Glass gay?&amp;quot;\n\n I would frequently use the hands-free video function and videotape my hands being free.\n\n The device would come in really handy in restaurants, when I have to wait till my guests go to the bathroom before I break out my iPhone to find out the answer to nagging questions that crop up in our conversation, such as who starred in Tango Cash. Now I can just nod my head to the right and answer them in real time.\n\n I know that doctors are warning that Google glasses wearers might suffer from optical strain and chronic dry eyes because the screen is so close, but, come on, wet, rheumy eyes are gross, and I don&amp;#39;t cry.\n\n There&amp;#39;s nothing I want more than to share my visual cortex with my friends. Please send immediately."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.gq.com/story/jim-nelson-april-2013>