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" Here, Justin Timberlake, take this torch. Frank Sinatra had it once. He brought it into brothels you didn&amp;#039;t even know were brothels. This torch has touched people with diseases we eradicated before the VHS player was invented. Its flame was withering, but no longer.  It&amp;#039;s yours now, Justin Timberlake. Light up some sexy candles for America, Justin Timberlake. Make it smell like cinnamon wax in here, Justin Timberlake. We&amp;#039;ve been in need of a 20- or 30-something guy to be an all-around entertainer \u2014 a guy who can elicit nothing worse than an &amp;quot;Oh, all right, that guy!&amp;quot; when he shows up on your TV twice each year. We give this guy a torch. We have for thousands of years, starting with Charlemagne. (In addition to being really tall, he could do card tricks. Card tricks are great.) It has survived every storm, including that time we gave it to Robert Downey Jr. for six months once by accident. We were all surprised it survived that. But now it&amp;#039;s yours, Justin Timberlake.       You confirmed it on Saturday Night Live this weekend. You made sketches better with Jimmy Fallon. You made him do that thing he only does on SNL, where he cracks up and cannot continue the sketch, which is funny again because he hasn&amp;#039;t done it in three years. Then you performed a song and, thing is, I still don&amp;#039;t even know if I liked the music, but there was a light show like something at the goddamn planetarium and it was beautiful. It was new and it was entertaining and you were well-dressed and I&amp;#039;m just done fighting it.       Take the damn torch, Justin. SNL tried to hand this torch to the mildly charming but ultimately dweebish mom-bait Michael Bubl\u00E9 (whose Christmas music is somehow all anyone&amp;#039;s listening to on Spotify right now) a couple of years ago. It didn&amp;#039;t work. It was a greased-up man at the handoff in a relay race, except not as funny. There is that one thing that we&amp;#039;re not supposed to talk about. We&amp;#039;re not supposed to talk about &amp;#039;N Sync, but everybody has that one thing they&amp;#039;re not supposed to talk about. That&amp;#039;s what makes him perfect for this role. I cannot name the one thing I&amp;#039;m not supposed to talk about with Michael Bubl\u00E9. I can tell you Frank Sinatra had two things. Sinatra was also in a boy band in his teens. Plus, he was in the mafia, and we&amp;#039;re not supposed to talk about that for a couple of reasons. You&amp;#039;re right, &amp;#039;N Sync is arguably worse than the mob. But with a greater failure comes a greater comeback. The fire burns brighter. Pick up the torch, JT. Bring me to the light show. Show us the way. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/entertainment/a26585/justin-timberlake-torch/>