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"    A reader recently emailed me with an interesting question: What are guys thinking right after sex? I wanted to help because I wonder what women think about right after sex. The reader mentioned both one-night stands and sex in committed relationships. One thing to keep in mind: If you have sex with a guy who is not thinking or reflecting on it (whether it&amp;#039;s a one-night stand or not), it&amp;#039;s a red flag. Anyone who dismisses something as intense as sex has no respect for the other person or themselves. I believe that every encounter deserves reflection, although most of my reflection is filled with self-loathing and self-doubt. Here is how my twisted mind works right after sex:  One-Night Stand   Piecing the Night Together  Most of the time, one-night stands occur after a heavy night of drinking has battered my judgment. I hate that horrible feeling of waking up and realizing that something is slightly different \u2014 and then it all hits me like a ton of bricks. I realize that someone random is with me. If I&amp;#039;m cursed enough to be the first one awake, I lie there trying to figure out how I got there by putting the previous night&amp;#039;s exploits together like a puzzle...a very difficult puzzle.  Why Did I Do That?  After one-night stands, I analyze my mental state. Why did I end up doing this? Am I lonely? Losing respect for myself?  Is There Any Mystery Left?  One-night stands are counter-productive for long-term relationships because they are an accelerated form of a relationship. There&amp;#039;s no courtship between meeting and sex. It&amp;#039;s almost as fast as the Crystals song &amp;quot;Then He Kissed Me&amp;quot; , where the guy&amp;#039;s asking her to dance and then two minutes later they are married. It&amp;#039;s hard to get into a long-term relationship without comfortable pacing and the measured progression of surprises and moments.  Should I Call Her?  Naturally, one-night stands make for awkward good-byes. Usually, I feel obligated to call the girl and see her again, even if I&amp;#039;m not interested in seeing her again. But there is a lot of mental anguish as I decide what to do.  How Will I Tell My Friends?  It&amp;#039;s bad, but guys do like to gossip. Even as I&amp;#039;m lying there the next morning, I&amp;#039;m going over the story and the order of friends I will tell.  What Are the Ramifications?  Whether I use protection or not, I worry about STDs. I have no idea who she&amp;#039;s been with, and who her partners have been with.  Girlfriend   Did She Enjoy It? (Performance Review)  Once you get into a serious relationship, you care a lot more about performance. After sex, I&amp;#039;ll wonder if she enjoyed it \u2014 but it feels too cheesy to ask her if she did. This is when I debate over whether she orgasmed or faked or whatever. I&amp;#039;d never make it on Broadway. In addition to wondering if my girlfriend enjoyed sex, I go over every little negative detail like a flawed audition. What did it mean when she kind of laughed? And how embarrassing was it when the condom slipped off? That can only mean bad: Either I wasn&amp;#039;t hard enough, or I was too small for it. And because I&amp;#039;m never sure if anything was good, I can only dwell on the bad things.  Does She Feel Respected?  I try to be sensitive to how a girl feels right after sex. It is degrading if a guy &amp;quot;finishes his business&amp;quot; and then rolls off and leaves. It&amp;#039;s important to hang out, laugh together, listen to some music, watch some TV, and, yes, cuddle. I admit that there&amp;#039;s some physiological/psychological thing in guys that causes them to want to move on to something else as soon as they&amp;#039;ve ejaculated. But guys should make an effort to spend time with a woman after sex, even if they don&amp;#039;t want to be there.  Are We Having the Right Amount Of Sex?  I don&amp;#039;t want my girlfriend to feel like I&amp;#039;m obsessed with sex and having it too much, but I don&amp;#039;t want her to feel like we&amp;#039;re not having it enough. I consider frequency after each time we do it, and put it on a per week scale. Hopefully, she just tells me if she&amp;#039;s satisfied with the amount of sex we are having. What are women thinking about right after sex in both situations? Are you surprised about what I am thinking about? Are these things guys should be thinking about? Follow me on Twitter:  twitter.com/richravens "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/a3591/men-thinking-sex/>