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" First things first: After thousands of miles, we still love this thing. Grunting around town and country in an outrageous, froofed-up infantry vehicle is always good for a grin. Being the undisputed king of the road is perpetually satisfying, and driving an apocalypse-ready anything is good for peace of mind. But that&amp;#039;s the only peace of mind the G63 is going to give you. Mercedes-Benz&amp;#039;s oldest SUV is about as smooth and effortless as it is logical, and since it&amp;#039;s a military truck with a full-boat luxury interior and a hot-rod engine, there&amp;#039;s no logic to be found. Loving this monster ain&amp;#039;t easy. It&amp;#039;s a thirsty, ill-handling, thirsty, expensive, thirsty, rough-riding, thirsty, ridiculous-looking truck that uses a lot of gas. It&amp;#039;s almost enough to make you forget how much spectacular fun you&amp;#039;re having. Because let&amp;#039;s face it: You weren&amp;#039;t shopping for this. This is not a vehicle subject to consumer research. Buyers point at it and say, &amp;quot;I want that.&amp;quot; And it&amp;#039;s easy to exercise that same sort of impulse control from behind the wheel. The turbo V8 cudgels you along; the rollover-mitigation light flashes like a disco ball; the windshield shudders; and, laughing heartily, you pull into another gas station.  We took a few long trips in our G63, even going so far as to tow the odd boat or trailer in an attempt to discover utility lurking in its depths. We got around 13 mpg no matter how we drove or what we pulled. This is not a great tow vehicle or long-distance machine. It has little straight-line stability. It constantly asks you to slow down. And at night, the flat windows throw up distracting reflections. But there we go again, giving real-world advice. The G63 is anything but realistic. No product-planning department would have signed off on it. It had to evolve organically, and the mere fact that it could\u2014and that people buy more and more G-classes every year\u2014means we live in a nuttier world than you might think. Based solely on that, we&amp;#039;re glad the G-class exists. We might just be growing tired of it, but we&amp;#039;re genuinely sad to see it go. WHY WE GOT IT Sheer hell of it, really. + Larry won&amp;#039;t let us have a pet gorilla. - Barely more livable than a pet gorilla. 2014 Mercedes-Benz G63 AMG Vital Stats   Base Price: $135,205  As Tested: $144,305  Powertrain: 5.5-liter V-8, 536 hp, 560 lb-ft; AWD, 7-speed automatic  EPA (City/Hwy): 12/14 (mpg)  Our Fuel Economy: 13 (mpg)  Miles Driven: 8036 miles  "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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