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"  &amp;quot;I just got out of an emotionally abusive relationship. Almost every day the guy I was with commented negatively on the way I looked, whether it was about my hair, the pimple that seemed to grow 10 inches overnight, or how I needed to lose weight. I&amp;#039;m not usually so self-conscious, but ever since that relationship I don&amp;#039;t have the same confidence I used to. How do I shake off the horrible things my ex said to me and gain my confidence back?&amp;quot; \u2014Paige, 14  First of all, Paige, CONGRATS for getting out of that relationship and for realizing that it was harmful and damaging. So many girls stay in relationships like that, and soon their self-esteem and confidence is squashed completely. I am so sorry that you were with someone who treated you so terribly. If you haven&amp;#039;t already, I really recommend talking to a professional: a counselor, a mentor, a therapist \u2014 someone who can help you navigate through what you just experienced. If that doesn&amp;#039;t feel right at the moment, then remember that the way you build your confidence is by doing esteemable acts. Is there a school project you can get involved with to meet new people? Is there something in the community you want to volunteer for? Is there someone you have neglected (a friend, a relative) that you&amp;#039;d like to spend more time with? Doing things that make you feel good can help you build your self-esteem. Remember, what he told you isn&amp;#039;t true. And I know it hurt, but now that you are out of this relationship, you get to choose how much power he holds over you. And if you begin to choose to feel better about yourself, then you will slowly take all that power away from him. You deserve so much more \u2014 let yourself have the time to heal these wounds. It will hurt for a while, but it won&amp;#039;t last forever. I am proud of you for recognizing that you need to gain your confidence back. Jess Weiner is an author, self-esteem expert, and Seventeen&amp;#039;s new Body Peace adviser. To ask Jess your body-image questions, share your thoughts, or vent your frustrations, leave your comments below or send them here. Jess will answer new questions every week! Learn more about Jess at withjess.com. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.seventeen.com/health/advice/a889/jess-blog-113007/>