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" A few years ago, I was just a typical teen who spent hours in front of my computer watching Kingsley and Jenna Marbles on YouTube. I also followed them \u2014 and tons of other social media stars \u2014 on Instagram and Twitter, and it seemed as if they had it all: successful channels, good friends (each other!), and amazing lives in Los Angeles. So in June of 2015, when I made the decision to move from Miami to Los Angeles so I could grow my Vine following, I assumed I&amp;#039;d end up with the same incredibly happy, friend-filled life. What actually happened was quite the opposite. The New Girl  It took a lot of convincing, but my parents let me leave high school before my junior year so I could pursue my dream of being a social media star. They even helped me set up my own apartment in California. (The idea of living alone didn&amp;#039;t make me nervous.) Instead of attending a regular school, I enrolled in a local program where a teacher comes to your house, but I wasn&amp;#039;t worried about making new friends. I had a bunch back home, plus I&amp;#039;d been to social media-related events in L.A. a few times and met a bunch of fun people. So at the very least, I had that network to fall back on. But almost immediately after settling into my new place, it hit me: Although I spent my days interacting with fans, none of it happened face-to-face. The only person within miles who I actually knew was my manager. I legit didn&amp;#039;t have anyone my own age to even grab lunch with. I turned to my industry contact list much sooner than I&amp;#039;d originally thought I would, and luckily everyone was quick to say yes to hanging out. I was so relieved and thought, Okay, no need to freak out: You aren&amp;#039;t alone here. I liked having people to do things with, and it felt like we were on the road to becoming besties fast. Frenemy Ground As the months passed, my new group and I were getting along well, I was boosting my followers on social, and I was starting to have the life I&amp;#039;d always dreamed of. Naturally, all of my hangout sessions were documented through my posts, tweets, and videos. I thought nothing of it at first. Then one day, I didn&amp;#039;t post a pic right away from an outing with my friends, and they started bugging me about putting it up. It made me worry they were using me for my popularity, and that made me sad. I tried to ignore my concerns \u2014 it felt so narcissistic. Still, because I knew everything we did was going to be documented for the whole Internet to see, I felt like I always had to look put together and be &amp;quot;on.&amp;quot; My life didn&amp;#039;t seem real anymore \u2014 it was all for show. I wondered, Where were the besties who I could just kick it with and be myself around?  Friend Fallout  I decided to start distancing myself from the squad. When they asked me to do a video collab and I said no, we got into a huge fight. I realized then that I valued our offline relationship more than they did. I felt so betrayed. After that, I tried going out to parties and events so I could meet new people, but I would always end up surrounded by a bunch of social media stars who, I suspected, were looking for followers rather than friends. The glamorous scene I saw from afar turned out to be nothing but a bunch of people willing to do anything just to make it \u2014 even if that meant acting fake in order to boost their numbers.   At the same time, I was having a falling out with my BFF back in Miami, so the only person I could turn to as a friend was my manager. As awesome as it was to have him to talk to, I missed having a girlfriend who totally gets me and what I&amp;#039;m going through. One day, I had the worst period cramps ever, and I knew I couldn&amp;#039;t tell him about them, so I ranted on Snapchat instead. While my fans are so supportive and I know they have my back, it&amp;#039;s not the same as telling your BFF \u2014 she&amp;#039;d run out to get chocolate! New Bestie Pact My guard is up now because I don&amp;#039;t want to get hurt again, but I really do want to trust people and have close relationships. It&amp;#039;s a tough balance. Don&amp;#039;t get me wrong: There are tons of people I like to hang out with, but I&amp;#039;m sad that even though I have millions of followers, I don&amp;#039;t feel like I have a deep level of friendship with anyone. I do know that once I find that person, I&amp;#039;ll appreciate how valuable it is to have someone I can be my real, silly, unfiltered, makeup-free self around \u2014 no cameras required. Follow Lauren on Vine, YouTube, Twitter, Snapchat (Lglaurennnn), and Instagram.           Found a familiar face in @seventeen this morning. On stands now, give it a read &#128149;\u2728 A photo posted by lauren giraldo (@laurengiraldo) on Sep 9, 2016 at 1:23pm PDT     This story was originally published as &amp;quot;I Have 7.5 Million Followers \u2014 But No BFF&amp;quot; in the October 2016 issue of Seventeen. Look for it in stores everywhere now and subscribe to the digital edition here.  "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.seventeen.com/life/real-girl-stories/a42837/lauren-giraldo-no-best-friend/>