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"\n\tAdvertisement - Continue Reading Below\n\t\n\n\n\nMove over Thailand, because China might be taking your spot as the new naughty vacation destination.  According to a new law, it is now legal in parts of China to give handys at massage parlors.  I've always wanted to visit Asia!   The Global Times reports the hot news that \"giving men masturbation in exchange for money in Guangdong is not considered an act of prostitution, and those who provide these services will not face prosecution.\"  How great is it that a town endorsing handys is called Guangdong?  Do any 12-year-old boys read Cosmo?  Back me up, dudes, that's funny right?  #cricketsThe ruling was inspired by a case that was brought against a massage parlor in 2011, when several female masseurs were discovered giving handies and \"breast massages.\"  Contrary to what it sounds like, a breast massage is when a woman massages a man WITH HER BREASTS instead of hands.  I don't even...but...how...it's just...After being convicted with organizing prostitution, the salon owners were each given five year prison sentences.  The story has a happy ending, though (I had to).  They appealed the charges, won the case and walked free.  How did they convince the courts that third base is totally professional?  Their defense lawyer argued, \"that the crime of prostitution should consist of for-profit sex acts, with masturbation or breast massage excluded.\"  I love that getting someone off with your hands is not considered sexual.  What is it then?  I'm picturing American politicians exploiting the sh*t out of this clause with their wives.  \"Honey, nothing even happend!  I just went to a brothel and splooged into a hooker's hand.  You can trust me!\"  The most important part of this breaking international news is we now have the scoop on Chinese slang for masturbation.   The Huffington Post quips that spanking the monkey is China is also referred to as, \"hitting the airplane,\" \"playing with little brother,\" and \"visiting Miss Five.\" Next time you're late for work just tell your bosses that you were busy \"playing with little brother,\" you might get fired but come on, worth it.Want more musings from Rose? Follow her on Twitter."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a13716/happy-endings-officially-legal-in-chinese-province/>