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" If you&amp;#039;re okay with freezing your balls off, it&amp;#039;s on your bucket list. It&amp;#039;s on everyone&amp;#039;s bucket list. In fact, a study recently released ranks seeing the Aurora Borealis in Norway as the No. 1 bucket list destination in the world. Not trying to make your dying wishes seem common, or anything. There&amp;#039;s an allure to watching psychedelic green (and red) lights dance gracefully across an immaculate, stygian sky. The Vikings were drawn to the lights. They referred to them as their departed maidens, and the native Samis have even used the phenomenon to scare youth into obedience. They&amp;#039;d say, &amp;quot;Eat your soup or Aurora will get you&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;Put your hat on or Aurora will singe your hair&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;Don&amp;#039;t make me turn this reindeer around; I&amp;#039;ll sick Aurora on your ass.&amp;quot; Okay, maybe not the last one.  People wait their entire lives for the chance to stand beneath what Norwegians call &amp;quot;the fickle lady.&amp;quot; The Northern Lights are rare. They&amp;#039;re unpredictable. Hell, they even dance for you if you play your cards right. All part of the allure. Not part of the allure? The balls-freezing-off part \u2013 that time while you wait to see if they&amp;#039;re even going to show up.  The best time to see the Northern Lights in Norway, historically, is above the Arctic Circle in February and March, a time when the country is Nordically nipply or ball-freezingly cold. And experts predict this year, winter 2014, to be the most spectacular light show for 50 years due to the solar maximum -- a fortunate fact for the thick-skinned, Viking-esque traveler out there, but unfortunate for those of us who run to a hot toddy and a roaring fire the second it drops below freezing. Luckily for you, even winter-phobic people like me can take a trip up north with one goal in mind: avoid being too miserably cold to fully enjoy the once-in-a-lifetime experience. Not only was I able to see the Northern Lights when I went, but I found some places to view them where you won&amp;#039;t even need a jacket -- or a swimsuit in some cases.  1. Vulkana Spa Boat - Troms\u00F8, Norway Restored from a 1957 fishing schooner, it&amp;#039;s a floating spa that has a Turkish Hamam, a Japanese Zen lounge, and a fancy, 12-seat restaurant on board. But the best spots on this thing are the wood-fired Finnish sauna with a panoramic window and the saltwater hot tub on deck, where you can sip local booze and watch the Aurora in all her blazing glory.  2. Holmen Husky Lavvo Tents - Holmen, Norway The lavvo tents at this dog-sledding compound are set up like traditional Sami huts, except they&amp;#039;re &amp;quot;luxury&amp;quot; versions now. So they&amp;#039;re insulated and come with manly animal skin rugs, a crackling fireplace, and a window that spans 1/3 of the tent so you can watch the Northern Lights from a heated double bed.  3. The Posthuset Expedition Lodge - Senja, Norway Even though you need a minimum of four people to rent out this thing -- a renovated post-office-turned-trendy-lodge -- it&amp;#039;s worth it. You get to take advantage of the wall-to-wall windows that look out over the Bergsfjord, where you can watch humpback and killer whales splash through the waters as the Northern Lights dance above. And you can do all that while getting drunk around a toasty 10-plus person dining table.  4. Hurtigruten Cruise Ship - The Norwegian Fjords The beauty of this vessel is that, even though the rooftop hot tub may not be hot enough for some pansy American journalist standards (ahem, I like my hot tubs hot), the captain makes a ship-wide announcement over the PA when the Lights are out, making it easy to pre-game for the cold in the wood sauna or at the bar before running out in the frigid air into a (somewhat) hot tub just in time for the show.  5. Lyngen Lodge - Olderdalen, Norway Almost anywhere you are in this eight-room lodge, you can catch a glimpse of the Northern Lights when they come out with nothing more than a stiff drink to keep your body heat up. It&amp;#039;s a timber-framed, grass-roofed chalet, and it&amp;#039;s got an amazing view of the Lyngen Fjord where some windows are the only things that come between you and the fickle lady herself. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/news/a23534/how-to-see-the-northern-lights/>