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"  I\u2019m at work, at Christie\u2019s, wearing a suit, knitted tie and a pair of expensive shoes. I bought the shoes recently and they\u2019re of the type, fashionable right now, that look as if you\u2019ve owned them for decades: the polish is uneven and they appear a little scuffed.  I love the shoes but, earlier in the day, when I\u00A0met a new colleague for the first time \u2013 a colleague not familiar with the fashion world \u2013 I became conscious that he\u2019d have thought it odd that I\u2019d made such an effort to look smart that morning but had clearly forgotten to put my work shoes on.  I\u2019m discovering that some elements of my previous career in fashion retail do not travel well into the current one in art.  It\u2019s sometimes tricky trying to fit in sartorially with an auction house soon to celebrate its 250th anniversary with a wardrobe bought from a\u00A0menswear website that\u2019s just celebrated its third. The other dilemma, which I predicted might happen, has already raised its head: how to pop straight out from work to\u00A0meet a mate and not look as if\u00A0I\u00A0am\u00A0going\u00A0to attempt to sell him a\u00A0mortgage (or a painting).  Last week, a young actor friend asked if I fancied seeing a movie at the\u00A0IMax that evening. It had been a\u00A0long day and the thought of some celluloid escapism was a tempting one. It turned out he\u2019d bought us both tickets to watch, on the giant screen, a film starring...er, himself. If I was a\u00A0handsome movie star, I suppose I\u00A0would watch myself endlessly on the big screen, too.  However, the problem was that while he was wearing skinny jeans, sneakers, a leather jacket and a\u00A0baseball cap (in case anyone in the\u00A0audience spotted Noah\u2019s son was actually in Row G and not on the ark), I\u00A0was wearing a suit and tie and carrying\u00A0a\u00A0business briefcase. I looked like his dad. Or a perv.  I need to conjure up an outfit that works for both scenarios \u2013 boardroom and bar \u2013 or keep a change of clothes at the office and, each evening as I\u00A0run\u00A0out, morph from Clark Kent into Superman. Well, Superman is being a tad optimistic, but to help on that front I\u2019ve joined a gym.  Yet another outfit to\u00A0keep in the office; yet another set of\u00A0clothes to worry about. Gym tribes actually deserve a whole column to themselves, but once again I\u2019m trying to navigate a happy medium: I don\u2019t want to go down the baggy, ill-fitting, Napoleon Dynamite-does-a-workout look, but neither do I want to appear as\u00A0if I take it too seriously with a whole load of high-tech, high-performance, too-tight ponce-wear.  A couple of years ago, I foolishly signed up for a triathlon. On the morning of the event, as we prepared to swim, the competitor next to me laid out his super-expensive, semi-pro equipment and made lots of impressive grunts and stretches as we waited for the start whistle. Jesus, I thought, I\u2019m\u00A0never going to be able to compete with\u00A0guys like this. The whistle went,\u00A0everyone dived in and then, lo and behold, halfway across the lake Mr\u00A0Got-All-The-Kit started waving his arms frantically in the air and had to be rescued by an attendant boat. He\u2019d got cramp. Ha!  No, I need a kit that says I may have\u00A0done a spot of cardio and met a\u00A0dumbbell or two before, but I know I\u2019m not at the level where people are going to clap with admiration if I wander past in a sleeveless vest carrying a protein drink (incidentally, why do protein drinks smell of poo?).  For the moment \u2013 and\u00A0if\u00A0you see me in the gym do say if\u00A0you think it looks rubbish \u2013 I am opting for a low-key Saturdays Surf NYC cotton jersey T-shirt (which looks like I found it in the cupboard, in a good way), Nike\u00A0x Undercover Gyakusou running shorts\u00A0(high-tech fabric with an unfussy design), Nike Flyknits (off-duty sneakers that work for the gym), and a\u00A0pair of Hanro sweatpants (they have usefully deep pockets for secret stashes of Haribo).  Next week, I\u2019m in New York and a friend is dragging me to the hot new fitness craze in town: Mitchell Wayne\u2019s class at Chelsea Studios. This intense, 60-minute, cardio-dance workout sees you learning the moves to a different Beyonc\u00E9 promo video each session.  Oh\u00A0dear.  At least it\u2019s unlikely I\u2019ll bump into a colleague from Christie\u2019s.  ***MORE FROM JEREMY LANGMEAD:Tailoring&amp;#039;s New WaveThe Eighties Style Revival\u00A0On Underwear\u00A0 *** "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.co.uk/style/fashion/news/a6514/jeremy-langmead-how-to-dress-for-any-occasion/>