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"&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;If you read the page of &amp;lt;a href=&amp;quot;https://www.verywell.com/living-with-herpes-3133004&amp;quot; data-component=&amp;quot;link&amp;quot; data-source=&amp;quot;inlineLink&amp;quot; data-type=&amp;quot;internalLink&amp;quot; data-ordinal=&amp;quot;1&amp;quot;&amp;gt;herpes stories&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt; submitted by users of this site, you will see two common complaints that stem from the same misconception. The first: &amp;amp;#34;My partner lied to me about having herpes, but I&amp;amp;#39;ve just had my first herpes outbreak and I know he gave it to me.&amp;amp;#34; The second: &amp;amp;#34;I was just diagnosed with &amp;lt;a href=&amp;quot;https://www.verywell.com/an-overview-of-genital-herpes-hsv-3133290&amp;quot; data-component=&amp;quot;link&amp;quot; data-source=&amp;quot;inlineLink&amp;quot; data-type=&amp;quot;internalLink&amp;quot; data-ordinal=&amp;quot;2&amp;quot;&amp;gt;genital herpes&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;, so my partner must have cheated on me.&amp;amp;#34;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;In some cases, these statements are probably true. People do lie about their infection status and cheat on their partners. However, they aren&amp;amp;#39;t always true.&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;ul&amp;gt;&amp;lt;li&amp;gt;Herpes is so often &amp;lt;a href=&amp;quot;https://www.verywell.com/asymptomatic-disease-and-the-std-epidemic-3133039&amp;quot; data-component=&amp;quot;link&amp;quot; data-source=&amp;quot;inlineLink&amp;quot; data-type=&amp;quot;internalLink&amp;quot; data-ordinal=&amp;quot;3&amp;quot;&amp;gt;asymptomatic&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt; that many people may never know that they are infected. They may never find out unless they get &amp;lt;a href=&amp;quot;https://www.verywell.com/when-should-you-get-screened-for-stds-3132733&amp;quot; data-component=&amp;quot;link&amp;quot; data-source=&amp;quot;inlineLink&amp;quot; data-type=&amp;quot;internalLink&amp;quot; data-ordinal=&amp;quot;4&amp;quot;&amp;gt;screened&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt; or one of their partners has a &amp;lt;a data-inlink=&amp;quot;UqUuQtYzHp8Dty8-mooe6w&amp;amp;#61;&amp;amp;#61;&amp;quot; href=&amp;quot;https://www.verywell.com/living-with-herpes-3133004&amp;quot; data-component=&amp;quot;link&amp;quot; data-source=&amp;quot;inlineLink&amp;quot; data-type=&amp;quot;internalLink&amp;quot; data-ordinal=&amp;quot;5&amp;quot;&amp;gt;first herpes outbreak&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt; and sends them to get tested. In other words, when someone says, &amp;amp;#34;I didn&amp;amp;#39;t know I had herpes,&amp;amp;#34; they may be telling you the truth.&amp;lt;/li&amp;gt;&amp;lt;li&amp;gt;As for the assumption of cheating, there are problems with that too. People who are infected with herpes are not always equally infectious. &amp;lt;a href=&amp;quot;https://www.verywell.com/what-is-asymptomatic-shedding-3133029&amp;quot; data-component=&amp;quot;link&amp;quot; data-source=&amp;quot;inlineLink&amp;quot; data-type=&amp;quot;internalLink&amp;quot; data-ordinal=&amp;quot;6&amp;quot;&amp;gt;Asymptomatic shedding&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt; does occur, but not at the same levels all the time. That means that transmission of the virus could occur one night or 1 year into a relationship. A sudden transmission doesn&amp;amp;#39;t mean a new infection.\u00A0&amp;lt;/li&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/ul&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;If you&amp;amp;#39;ve just had your first herpes outbreak, you are understandably upset. You are probably in significant discomfort. You may feel &amp;amp;#34;ruined&amp;amp;#34; or otherwise shamed by the social &amp;lt;a href=&amp;quot;https://www.verywell.com/the-stigma-stds-have-in-society-3133101&amp;quot; data-component=&amp;quot;link&amp;quot; data-source=&amp;quot;inlineLink&amp;quot; data-type=&amp;quot;internalLink&amp;quot; data-ordinal=&amp;quot;7&amp;quot;&amp;gt;stigma&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt; surrounding the diagnosis. However, when you talk to your partner about your diagnosis, try to do so calmly and without accusations. It&amp;amp;#39;s possible that they did not know they were already infected. It&amp;amp;#39;s also possible that you came into the relationship infected and only now had your first herpes outbreak.&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;This is one of the reasons I often suggest &amp;lt;a href=&amp;quot;https://www.verywell.com/the-pre-sex-checklist-3133116&amp;quot; data-component=&amp;quot;link&amp;quot; data-source=&amp;quot;inlineLink&amp;quot; data-type=&amp;quot;internalLink&amp;quot; data-ordinal=&amp;quot;8&amp;quot;&amp;gt;pre-relationship&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt; screening and discussions about &amp;lt;a href=&amp;quot;https://www.verywell.com/the-mechanics-of-safe-sex-3133053&amp;quot; data-component=&amp;quot;link&amp;quot; data-source=&amp;quot;inlineLink&amp;quot; data-type=&amp;quot;internalLink&amp;quot; data-ordinal=&amp;quot;9&amp;quot;&amp;gt;safe sex&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt; and sexual history. I want to help people avoid just this sort of misunderstanding during a relationship. Screening isn&amp;amp;#39;t something you do to weed out potential partners. It&amp;amp;#39;s something you do so that you can make informed decisions about your sexual risk. Informed decisions are less likely to be ones that you&amp;amp;#39;ll regret.&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;Finally, if you&amp;amp;#39;re having your first herpes outbreak, take a breath. I want to reassure you that being diagnosed with herpes is not the end of the world. &amp;lt;a href=&amp;quot;https://www.verywell.com/living-with-herpes-3133004&amp;quot; data-component=&amp;quot;link&amp;quot; data-source=&amp;quot;inlineLink&amp;quot; data-type=&amp;quot;internalLink&amp;quot; data-ordinal=&amp;quot;10&amp;quot;&amp;gt;Living with herpes&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt; can be difficult, both physically and emotionally. However, it is possible to live a full and happy life with the virus. No matter how hard it seems right now, &amp;lt;a data-inlink=&amp;quot;mKQcG2ZT2AjUYMN-b37sVA&amp;amp;#61;&amp;amp;#61;&amp;quot; href=&amp;quot;https://www.verywell.com/how-to-deal-with-depression-after-a-herpes-diagnosis-3133005&amp;quot; data-component=&amp;quot;link&amp;quot; data-source=&amp;quot;inlineLink&amp;quot; data-type=&amp;quot;internalLink&amp;quot; data-ordinal=&amp;quot;11&amp;quot;&amp;gt;a herpes diagnosis&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt; is not the end of your life. It&amp;amp;#39;s also not the end of your love life. Please don&amp;amp;#39;t let anyone tell you differently.&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;em&amp;gt;NOTE: A &amp;lt;a data-inlink=&amp;quot;xRJYNZD65kO_jUgXyPI9nQ&amp;amp;#61;&amp;amp;#61;&amp;quot; href=&amp;quot;https://www.verywell.com/could-i-have-genital-herpes-and-not-know-it-3132936&amp;quot; data-component=&amp;quot;link&amp;quot; data-source=&amp;quot;inlineLink&amp;quot; data-type=&amp;quot;internalLink&amp;quot; data-ordinal=&amp;quot;12&amp;quot;&amp;gt;genital herpes diagnosis&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt; is &amp;lt;strong&amp;gt;not&amp;lt;/strong&amp;gt; a reason to stay in a bad or &amp;lt;a data-inlink=&amp;quot;slB4VYNy3IrWkg7_k1Ab6g&amp;amp;#61;&amp;amp;#61;&amp;quot; href=&amp;quot;https://www.verywell.com/talk-about-sex-with-teens-906920&amp;quot; data-component=&amp;quot;link&amp;quot; data-source=&amp;quot;inlineLink&amp;quot; data-type=&amp;quot;internalLink&amp;quot; data-ordinal=&amp;quot;13&amp;quot;&amp;gt;unhealthy relationship&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;. If your partner is pressuring you to stay in a relationship by telling you that no one will want you now that you are infected with herpes, it isn&amp;amp;#39;t true. Furthermore, such implied threats may be a sign that your relationship is or is becoming &amp;lt;a href=&amp;quot;https://www.verywell.com/how-stds-can-play-a-role-in-abusive-relationships-3132706&amp;quot; data-component=&amp;quot;link&amp;quot; data-source=&amp;quot;inlineLink&amp;quot; data-type=&amp;quot;internalLink&amp;quot; data-ordinal=&amp;quot;14&amp;quot;&amp;gt;abusive&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;. Please consider contacting a &amp;lt;a href=&amp;quot;http://www.thehotline.org/&amp;quot; data-component=&amp;quot;link&amp;quot; data-source=&amp;quot;inlineLink&amp;quot; data-type=&amp;quot;externalLink&amp;quot; data-ordinal=&amp;quot;15&amp;quot;&amp;gt;domestic abuse hotline.&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt; or discussing your situation with a local counseling professional whom you trust.&amp;lt;/em&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;sub&amp;gt;Sources:&amp;lt;br/&amp;gt;Koutsky LA, Ashley RL, Holmes KK, Stevens CE, Critchlow CW, Kiviat N, Lipinski CM, W\u00F8lner-Hanssen P, Corey L. &amp;lt;a href=&amp;quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2163115&amp;quot; data-component=&amp;quot;link&amp;quot; data-source=&amp;quot;inlineLink&amp;quot; data-type=&amp;quot;externalLink&amp;quot; data-ordinal=&amp;quot;16&amp;quot;&amp;gt;The frequency of unrecognized type 2 herpes simplex virus infection among women. Implications for the control of genital herpes.&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt; Sex Transm Dis. 1990 Apr-Jun;17(2):90-4.&amp;lt;br/&amp;gt;&amp;lt;br/&amp;gt;Tronstein E, Johnston C, Huang ML, Selke S, Magaret A, Warren T, Corey L, Wald A. &amp;lt;a href=&amp;quot;http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21486977&amp;quot; data-component=&amp;quot;link&amp;quot; data-source=&amp;quot;inlineLink&amp;quot; data-type=&amp;quot;externalLink&amp;quot; data-ordinal=&amp;quot;17&amp;quot;&amp;gt;Genital shedding of herpes simplex virus among symptomatic and asymptomatic persons with HSV-2 infection&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;. JAMA. 2011 Apr 13;305(14):1441-9. doi: 10.1001/jama.2011.420.&amp;lt;/sub&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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