<http://schema.org/articleBody>
"&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;Here are 10 tips for managing conflict, tension and anger. After all, to be a safe and predictable person for those around you at work and at home, it is essential that you are able to maintain your composure when you feel like your &amp;amp;#39;buttons&amp;amp;#39; are being pushed. This strength will help you to &amp;lt;a href=&amp;quot;https://www.verywell.com/goal-setting-and-reaching-goals-3145004&amp;quot; data-component=&amp;quot;link&amp;quot; data-source=&amp;quot;inlineLink&amp;quot; data-type=&amp;quot;internalLink&amp;quot; data-ordinal=&amp;quot;1&amp;quot;&amp;gt;achieve your goals&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt; in business as well as your goals for your personal relationships.\u00A0&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;strong&amp;gt;1. Share negative emotions only in person or on the phone.&amp;lt;/strong&amp;gt; E-mails, answering machine messages, and notes are too impersonal for the delicate nature of negative words. What feels like a bomb on paper may feel like a feather when delivered in person.\u00A0&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;strong&amp;gt;2. Pepper your responses with the phrase, &amp;amp;#34;I understand&amp;amp;#34;.&amp;lt;/strong&amp;gt;\u00A0This phrase will support your goals when the tension is high and you need to find common ground to form compromises or agreements with the other party.\u00A0&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;strong&amp;gt;3. Take notice when you feel threatened by what someone is saying to you.&amp;lt;/strong&amp;gt;\u00A0Resist the temptation to defend yourself or to &amp;amp;#34;shut down&amp;amp;#34; the other person&amp;amp;#39;s communication. It will take this kind of discipline to become an open, trusting communicator.\u00A0&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;strong&amp;gt;4. Practice &amp;lt;a data-inlink=&amp;quot;VHhMwMAoQigCwCi4UekpYQ&amp;amp;#61;&amp;amp;#61;&amp;quot; href=&amp;quot;https://www.verywell.com/what-is-passive-communication-3024630&amp;quot; data-component=&amp;quot;link&amp;quot; data-source=&amp;quot;inlineLink&amp;quot; data-type=&amp;quot;internalLink&amp;quot; data-ordinal=&amp;quot;2&amp;quot;&amp;gt;making requests&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt; of others when you are angry.\u00A0&amp;lt;/strong&amp;gt;It is often much more useful to make a request than to share your anger. For example, if the babysitter is driving you crazy by leaving dirty dishes in the sink, it is better to make a request of them than to let your anger leak out in other ways such as by becoming more distant.\u00A0&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;strong&amp;gt;5. Try repeating the exact words that someone is saying to you when they are in a lot of emotional pain or when you disagree with them completely.&amp;lt;/strong&amp;gt;\u00A0This mirroring technique can keep both the speaker and the listener &amp;amp;#39;centered&amp;amp;#39; &amp;lt;a data-inlink=&amp;quot;NncHZewcY3ap7_nOJQUOOA&amp;amp;#61;&amp;amp;#61;&amp;quot; href=&amp;quot;https://www.verywell.com/how-to-have-a-difficult-conversation-2337495&amp;quot; data-component=&amp;quot;link&amp;quot; data-source=&amp;quot;inlineLink&amp;quot; data-type=&amp;quot;internalLink&amp;quot; data-ordinal=&amp;quot;3&amp;quot;&amp;gt;in a difficult conversation&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;, especially when the attitude of the person doing the mirroring is to gain understanding of a different point of view.\u00A0&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;strong&amp;gt;6. Take responsibility for your feelings to avoid blaming others.&amp;lt;/strong&amp;gt;\u00A0Notice when &amp;amp;#39;blameshifting&amp;amp;#39; begins to leak into your speech. &amp;amp;#34;I feel angry when you are twenty minutes late and you don&amp;amp;#39;t call me&amp;amp;#34; is much better than, &amp;amp;#34;You make me so mad by being late.&amp;amp;#34;\u00A0&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;strong&amp;gt;7. Learn to listen to the two sides of the conflict that you are in as if you were the mediator or the counselor.&amp;lt;/strong&amp;gt;\u00A0If you can listen and respond in this way you will bring peace and &amp;lt;a href=&amp;quot;https://www.verywell.com/conflict-resolution-skills-for-healthy-relationships-3144953&amp;quot; data-component=&amp;quot;link&amp;quot; data-source=&amp;quot;inlineLink&amp;quot; data-type=&amp;quot;internalLink&amp;quot; data-ordinal=&amp;quot;4&amp;quot;&amp;gt;solutions to the conflict&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt; more quickly. For example, in response to an employee&amp;amp;#39;s raise request, you might say, &amp;amp;#34;On the one hand I understand that you really need the raise, and on the other hand I represent the company, whose funds are very scarce at this time. Is there a way that I can work on your compensation package that does not involve cash?&amp;amp;#34; Here, the mediator&amp;amp;#39;s point of view can look for the creative compromise that takes into account the limits and the needs of both parties.\u00A0&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;strong&amp;gt;8.\u00A0Take a playful attitude towards developing the skill of emotional self-control in high conflict situations.\u00A0&amp;lt;/strong&amp;gt;You could view maintaining self-control in a tense, angry conversation as an athletic feat. You could also view developing this skill as similar to working out at the gym with weights - the more that you use your self-control muscle the bigger it will grow and the easier it will be to remain calm when tension is great.\u00A0&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;strong&amp;gt;9. Wait a few days to cool down emotionally when a situation makes you feel wild with intense feelings, such as rage.\u00A0&amp;lt;/strong&amp;gt;As time passes, you will be able to be more objective about the issues and to sort out the truth about the situation more clearly.\u00A0&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;strong&amp;gt;10. Make a decision to speak with decorum whenever you are angry or frustrated.\u00A0&amp;lt;/strong&amp;gt;If you give yourself permission to blow up, people will not feel safe around you. They will feel that you are not predictable and will carry &amp;amp;#39;shields&amp;amp;#39; when they are near you. The fear and walls of others will not support your goals for success in relationships or at work.&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<https://www.verywell.com/ten-tips-for-managing-conflict-tension-and-anger-2330720>