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"&lt;p&gt;\r\n\r\n&lt;h3 id=\"E128\" qowt-divtype=\"para\" qowt-eid=\"E128\" &gt;This Dusties/Ascension Feud Will be Awesome&lt;/h3&gt;\r\n\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The Gold goes to the Golden Ones! Congrats to NEWWW Tag Team Champions @Goldust &amp;amp; @StardustWWE! #WWENOC pic.twitter.com/oa8U5R3V87\r\n\u2014 WWE (@WWE) September 22, 2014\r\n\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The Brothers Dust won the tag-team titles off the Usos, which marks a transition from one of the most anonymous duos on the roster to a pair of guys who pack enough charisma and straight-ahead weirdness to open an entire book of potential angles. That\u2019s great! We need more life in the tag-team divisions, and the Dusties doing strange post-match space-worship is a GREAT START to a whole new dimension. I love what the Usos are capable of in the ring, but their complete lack of discernable character outside of \u201Cguys that people who like John Cena like\u201D has assassinated their momentum. They\u2019ll still get to do stuff, and hopefully that involves some soul-searching.\r\n\r\n\r\n\t&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;South Park&lt;/em&gt;&amp;nbsp;takes on the Washington Redskins name controversy&lt;/strong&gt;\r\n\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Mostly though, this sets up the Dusties for a killer feud with The Ascension. If you don\u2019t know who The Ascension are, they were the two guys who held the NXT tag belts FOREVER until they lost on Takeover 2 last week. Naturally that signals for a call up to the main show, and that\u2019s great, because when The Ascension are on your wrestling promotion that means fans get to do fun things, like yell \u201CYAK\u201D over and over. The Dust Brothers and The Ascension are both equally weird, which means we\u2019re about to take the tag-team division into the 12th dimension.\r\n\r\n&lt;h3 id=\"E142\" qowt-divtype=\"para\" qowt-eid=\"E142\" &gt;Why Didn\u2019t I Like This as Much as You?&lt;/h3&gt;\r\n\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sheamus With TWO Irish Curse Backbreakers To Cesaro! @WWESheamus #NightOfChampions #USTitle pic.twitter.com/BwbPpOsNsI\r\n\u2014 K\u03B9\u0455\u0455\u03B9\u0454\u0455 F\u03C3\u044F R\u03C3\u043C\u03B1\u03B7&amp;nbsp; (@WWEPixiePanther) September 22, 2014\r\n\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I don\u2019t know why this Sheamus/Cesaro match didn\u2019t totally work for me. They\u2019re both guys I like, and two of the best workers in the company, and that final flurry of finishing combos was predictably great. But yeah, there was a lot of lying around on the mat in this match, almost a 1/1 ratio with cool wrestling moves. That can be great, if you\u2019re wrestling a 60-minute WrestleMania iron-man match to pay off a legendary feud, but when you\u2019re just a couple guys competing for the USA strap? It doesn\u2019t really work.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The usual internet wrestling haunts confirm that I\u2019m clearly in the minority on this, but I\u2019m not of the belief that 5 minutes of awesome wrestling justifies 15 minutes of boring wrestling. A precarious position, I know.\r\n\r\n&lt;h3 id=\"E152\" qowt-divtype=\"para\" qowt-eid=\"E152\" &gt;The WWE Cares Less About This Ziggler/Miz Match Than You Do&lt;/h3&gt;\r\n\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The #MoneyMaker is MONEY once again, winning the #ICTitle from @HEELZiggler at #WWENOC! @MikeTheMiz @TheDamienSandow pic.twitter.com/WvLoX0MO76\r\n\u2014 WWE (@WWE) September 22, 2014\r\n\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Brandon Stroud said something poignant the other day about how in 2014 \u201Cfeuding\u201D basically means \u201Cexclusively wrestling each other.\u201D It\u2019s unfortunately true, and reflective of the leaking creative energy in the writer\u2019s room. Dolph Ziggler and The Miz have been engaged in a dead-end feud that is destined to elevate neither one of them. You know why I know this? Because before the match Florida Georgia Line, the country duo that made a song with Nelly once, were invited down to join commentary. So for every dropkick, we got a quick cut to our special guests who were here to promote, and I quote, \u201Cthat WWE honor the troops thing.\u201D\r\n\r\n\r\n\t&lt;strong&gt;High school running back gives best post-game interview ever&lt;/strong&gt;\r\n\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The payoff for their half-remembered USO service is a chance to punch out Damien Sandow. Poor Sandow man, he\u2019s certainly the only guy who\u2019s been beaten up by Hugh Jackman, Florida Georgia Line, and John Cena. Mostly I just think it\u2019s funny that the WWE had this this promotion they needed&amp;nbsp;to do, and instead of having some cut away segment Vince was just like \u201CSCREW IT, PUT EM ON DURING THE MIZ MATCH, THEY\u2019VE BEEN WATCHING THIS SAME THING FOR THE LAST MONTH ON RAW, THEY WON\u2019T CARE.\u201D\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The scary thing is, he\u2019s right! I totally don\u2019t care! But that says more about you than it does me!\r\n\r\n&lt;h3 id=\"E170\" qowt-divtype=\"para\" qowt-eid=\"E170\" &gt;An Ambrose Run-In That Was Actually Mildly Disappointing&lt;/h3&gt;\r\n\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&amp;nbsp;stephs face when ambrose dives into the security lol pic.twitter.com/0mTlHC2wmj\r\n\u2014 &amp;nbsp;Sarah Marie &amp;nbsp;(@SarahMarie4321) September 22, 2014\r\n\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;We all knew Ambrose was showing up when Rollins was cutting his \u201CRoman Reigns has a hernia so here I am talking about how great I am\u201D promo, and I popped super hard when that cab rolled up and our beloved lunatic fringe came rumbling down the ramp. Dean Ambrose has been my favorite guy on the whole show, and his absence forced us to watch Heath Slater feud with a bunny, so I\u2019m happy he\u2019s back. \r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;He chases Rollins around the ring for a bit, then outside, and then gets swarmed by security. The segment sort of ends. And\u2026 yeah, I don\u2019t know. I was really stoked to see our man again, but not necessarily to see him do what he\u2019s been doing for months. I know I can say that about pretty much anyone on the roster, but Ambrose is dynamic enough that his resurgence deserved some more drama. This might just be sour grapes, but I doubt I\u2019m the only one.\r\n\r\n&lt;h3 id=\"E179\" qowt-divtype=\"para\" qowt-eid=\"E179\" &gt;Mark Henry Fails America Worse Than Jack Swagger&lt;/h3&gt;\r\n\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Mark Henry!!!!!!!! pic.twitter.com/hHW8nOhQfz\r\n\u2014 WWE BITW (@WWEisTheBITW) September 22, 2014\r\n\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;We all knew Mark Henry wasn\u2019t going to win, because squandering Rusev\u2019s undefeated streak against a wily old veteran who\u2019s halfway retired would be\u2026 silly to say the least.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;But man. Did it get me a bit when Mark Henry cried those patriot tears to the national anthem? Absolutely, because he was about to get demolished in a red white and blue onesie. Patriotic jingoism always works best when the guy at the center is genuinely likable.\r\n\r\n\r\n\t\r\n\t&lt;strong&gt;Watch Mark Wahlburg refuse to give Patriots owner a high-five&lt;/strong&gt;\r\n\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Here\u2019s the thing though Mark. You couldn\u2019t break the Accolade? Really? Even Jack Swagger broke the Accolade, and he\u2019s lost to Adam Rose before! You\u2019re MARK HENRY. THE WORLD\u2019S STRONGEST MAN! HOW ARE YOU GOING TO TAP THAT QUICK. YOU ACTUALLY HAD ME AGREEING WITH JBL WHEN HE SAID YOU FAILED AMERICA. \r\n\r\n&lt;h3 id=\"E189\" qowt-divtype=\"para\" qowt-eid=\"E189\" &gt;You Guys Gotta Start Scouting Randy Orton Before You Wrestle Him.&lt;/h3&gt;\r\n\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The Walls Of Jericho @IAmJericho vs @RandyOrton #WWENOC pic.twitter.com/XDTv8HMXCD\r\n\u2014 Jessica (@Y2J_Jessica) September 22, 2014\r\n\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I actually forgot Chris Jericho/Randy Orton was a match-up until the very moment Jericho\u2019s music hit.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I wasn\u2019t down on it, not at all, but it\u2019s just the exact sort of high-profile flotsam you\u2019d expect from a veteran about to finish his three-month run and return to his rock band. Randy Orton is basically the guy you fight when you\u2019re famous enough to be on the show, but not famous enough to merit any top-card feuds.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;It was a perfectly solid match, Jericho\u2019s best moments of his latest run probably came against Wyatt at SummerSlam, but that was mostly for psychology reasons. His romp with Randy Orton reeked of&amp;nbsp;two dudes who have wrestled each other plenty, and were just rolling through the house-show tropes to fill out the mid-card. Best moment? Randy Orton daintily moving JBL\u2019s hat out of the way, before throwing Jericho across the announcer\u2019s table.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;One thing though. About a month ago I watched a match with Orton where Sheamus dove from the top rope, and was immediately countered into the RKO. Orton then did the dove pose, and it was awesome. Last night, Jericho did the EXACT SAME THING, and it was met with the EXACT SAME RKO COUNTER, and afterwards Randy Orton did the EXACT SAME DOVE POSE.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Look I know this is all fake. But do you think in kayfabe someone could say \u201Clook, when you go out there, make sure you don\u2019t point your head at Randy Orton. That\u2019s like, the last thing you wanna do.\u201D Chris Jericho needs to get into the film room, man.\r\n\r\n&lt;h3 id=\"E206\" qowt-divtype=\"para\" qowt-eid=\"E206\" &gt;The Greatest Triple Threat Match of All Time&lt;/h3&gt;\r\n\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;-NEW PHOTOS-AjLee Paige &amp;amp; Nikki at #NightOfChampions tonight for the divas title September 21 2014 pic.twitter.com/5Jes6LdG3w\r\n\u2014 AJ LEE Updates\u2122 (@AjLeeHearts) September 22, 2014\r\n\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Like most of you, I was pretty cool on the whole \u201Clet\u2019s inject Nikki Bella into this Paige and A.J. feud\u201D thing. Mostly because I was almost certain the match was going to end with some phony, poorly-enunciated Brie Bella run-in. But not only did that not happen, it also might\u2019ve been the best show on the card! Let me count the ways.\r\n\r\n\r\n\tPaige is working this weird unrequited love thing with A.J. so well you guys. As much as it might look thirsty for a straight dude being into the storyline that involves a twisted romance between two beautiful women who wrestle, let me make the case that the WWE has been great about stringing this storyline along with a remarkable level of subtlety. Yes! Subtlety! That thing that isn\u2019t Dolph Ziggler leaking Photoshop nudes of The Miz! That moment when they\u2019re on the mat and Paige is screaming \u201CWHY DON\u2019T YOU LOVE ME!\u201D while giving some savage headbutts was SICK. I\u2019m excited about this angle, and I\u2019m 100 percent sure the WWE will screw it up.\r\n\t&amp;nbsp;\r\n\tI don\u2019t know who got it into my head that Nikki Bella couldn\u2019t wrestle. Maybe it was Total Divas, maybe it was all that internet wrestling chatter, but man Nikki looked awesome here. She\u2019s throwing girls on her shoulders like motherfucking Goldberg, and it\u2019s the perfect complement to Paige and A.J.\u2019s quicker, more submission-heavy style. The two lightweights take chips off each other until Nikki stomps in to throw backbreakers like the most frightening Hoss in the world.\r\n\t&amp;nbsp;\r\n\tWe need a Nikki/Stephanie tag-team. We need it. Now more than ever. Oh my God can you even imagine.\r\n\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;For the first time in a long time, I\u2019m feeling pretty positive about the women\u2019s division. Hooray! I guess Night of Champions isn\u2019t all bad, right? Right?\r\n\r\n&lt;h3 id=\"E234\" qowt-divtype=\"para\" qowt-eid=\"E234\" &gt;You Guys Never Learn, Do You?&lt;/h3&gt;\r\n\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Rollins' interference gives @JohnCena a DQ win vs. @BrockLesnar. But still your @WWE World Hvt. Champion ... #WWENOC pic.twitter.com/8uGy7yfbOr\r\n\u2014 WWE (@WWE) September 22, 2014\r\n\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I\u2019m willing to give the WWE a bit of a break here, because I\u2019m sure they weren\u2019t exactly planning on&amp;nbsp;Roman Reigns\u2019 stomach to implode and be forced out of the show for a month. My best-of-brand dirt-sheet reconnaissance has lead me to believe that our Cena/Lesnar headliner match was booked and rebooked a number of times over the course of the weekend, which is understandable, considering you\u2019re dealing with a super pivotal feud.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;But look man. There was exactly two ways this match could\u2019ve gone down. This isn\u2019t any fantasy-booking hogwash, I\u2019m just going by the logic of the fucking story, which SHOULD matter, because you DO put on a THREE HOUR SHOW every week to make sure the pay-per-view PAYS OFF the major points.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Paul Heyman says John Cena can\u2019t beat Brock Lesnar unless he becomes a monster himself. On the go home show, we have a John Cena (IN BLACK SHORTS!) shove a hapless Paul Heyman out of the ring, who gets an absolutely sinister \u201CI\u2019VE ALREADY WON\u201D look on his face. Cena and Lesnar brawl, and Cena forces Lesnar retreat, ostensibly because Cena gave into the hate at least a little bit. The Night of Champions rematch was a venue where we were going to see whether or not Cena becomes the malefic brute that we all know is residing somewhere deep within his soul. He was either going to embrace the bloodlust, or go down sticking to his ideals. Again, this is the story, the stuff that\u2019s on the show, not me.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;But no. Cena fights like John Cena, and that\u2019s somehow more effective against Lesnar this time. Lesnar eats four Attitude Adjustments, but is busted up by a Seth Rollins who\u2019s fixing to cash in his contract. The ref is forced to end the match by way of disqualification, and Rollins hands over the briefcase.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;\u201CCool!\u201D you think. \u201CThat whole Cena is Going to Win Because Never Give Up thing was kinda lame and anachronistic, but at least something interesting is going to happen with Rollins! I wonder what he\u2019ll look like in that belt.\u201D\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Except, no. Rollins rolls back into the ring to cover Lesnar, but is interrupted by Cena, who runs him all the way backstage. There\u2019s no cash in. Lesnar keeps the belt. We\u2019re literally going around in circles.\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Here\u2019s the thing, WWE. You keep telling us that the network is only $9.99, and that\u2019s great! The network is great! I just watched hours of CM Punk matches for another feature that\u2019s going on the site, I could\u2019ve never done that before this year! \r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;But when you balk at PPVs like this, it actually comes off disingenuous! Cena/Lesnar was the only thing of note on the entire card. And it ends with a DQ. A DQ involving a Money in the Bank briefcase that didn\u2019t end up getting cashed in anyway. That\u2019s dumb, you know it\u2019s dumb. Finishes like this are what makes the stocks plunge.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Follow Extra Mustard and Luke Winkie on Twitter\r\n&lt;/p&gt;"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.si.com/extra-mustard/2014/09/22/wwe-night-champions-recap-9-22>