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"   Question Can you please help me with this problem, as it&amp;#039;s making my whole life so miserable? I&amp;#039;ve been seeing this guy for about 10 months now. He has been divorced for five years, has two children, and had a very bad marriage break-up.  Since then he has had a succession of girlfriends, each lasting a few weeks/months \u2013 he then ends the relationship because he doesn&amp;#039;t want an involved relationship with anyone.  He is crazy about sport, has loads of interests, and admits to enjoying being &amp;#039;single&amp;#039;. His best friend told me he was hurt so badly, that he doesn&amp;#039;t know if he will ever risk commitment again with anyone. The reason I&amp;#039;m telling you all this is because after three months (we only saw each other once/twice a week) he phoned me to end the relationship, saying that after three months you either get more involved or split up. He doesn&amp;#039;t want an involved relationship, he thought it best to split up in the circumstances, even though he still liked me.  I was really upset, as we got on so well, and we seemed to really gel together. All our respective friends said that it was obvious we both liked each other.  However, he contacted me a couple of weeks later and we met up for a drink, and I told him that I could handle a casual relationship, and that I wasn&amp;#039;t expecting to &amp;#039;meet his kids&amp;#039;, or get more involved.  I admit I lied to him, or rather myself, even saying that it made a refreshing change to meet a guy who put no pressure on me and only wanted to meet up now and again.  I don&amp;#039;t really know why I said what I knew he wanted to hear, although I suppose it was to keep him rather than lose him altogether.  He said he would like to see me approximately every two weeks if I was agreeable, as he&amp;#039;d never wanted to finish with me anyway, but had just panicked! Anyway, the relationship has continued since then, although it did build up from every two weeks to every 7 to10 days. Mostly he contacts me, although I occasionally contact him, and we always have a great time together.  The sex has always been great, and he says that he is usually very quiet, but with me he can&amp;#039;t stop talking!  When he asked me to have a week&amp;#039;s holiday abroad with him I was over the moon, as he seemed to be getting a lot closer to me despite himself.  However, even though the holiday was great, a lot of the time he seemed to put a barrier between us, almost keeping his distance by not holding my hand or putting his arm around me (he does do this at home!), and I found it a bit of a strain not knowing what he was thinking.  We&amp;#039;ve been back a few weeks now and I&amp;#039;m still seeing him, but it is now back to meeting up once every couple of weeks rather than weekly.  I wondered if he was trying to cool it, but he doesn&amp;#039;t seem to be, as he is his usual self when we meet up, but it&amp;#039;s almost like he&amp;#039;s determined to take a step back from the closeness I feel was building up before the holiday. It&amp;#039;s like a constant roller-coaster ride. When I see him, I make the most of every minute. I&amp;#039;m on a high for a day or so, and then go right down, wondering when I&amp;#039;m next going to see him again.  I&amp;#039;ve tried going out with, and even sleeping with other guys, but I just want to be with him all the time.  I know the answer is to end it, but I honestly don&amp;#039;t feel strong enough to do this at this time. I can&amp;#039;t face the alternative of not seeing him again.  I feel so miserable most of the time, and can&amp;#039;t get the situation out of my mind. Please give me your honest take on the situation.  My friends all say that he obviously likes me, but is determined not to get involved, and backs away when he senses we are getting too close.   Answer David writes: Personally, I think that the chances that this will turn into something permanent are very small.  Sorry. Usually, what happens in these relationships is that the guy has a splendid time \u2013 sexually speaking \u2013 and eventually goes on his merry way.  Of course I could be wrong.  Let&amp;#039;s see what Christine thinks. Christine adds: I am so sorry that this is happening to you.  You are obviously someone with masses of love to give and you feel that this guy is &amp;#039;Mr Right&amp;#039;.  And I&amp;#039;m sure that for a lot of the time, things feel marvellous and you become convinced that he will get used to the idea of commitment and may even welcome it.  Sadly, it doesn&amp;#039;t sound as if that day has arrived, or that it will do for a long time to come.  So, what should you do?  I note from your details that you are 38 and that you have not been married and that you have no children.  So I have to pose the question about your biological clock? Are you hoping that this guy is going to be the father of your children? Does this seem likely?  If not, are you aware that you may give him the last of your effective child-bearing years and may still not get him in the end?  You say you have tried dating other men and even sleeping with them \u2013 but that this is the only guy you want.  I think you might agree that it&amp;#039;s unlikely given your current feelings for the man you&amp;#039;ve written to us about, that you are giving the other guys much of a chance.  The thing is that you really love this man. As such it would be very, very difficult for you to walk away. On the other hand, things do not look promising for your future together.  And you have to ask what you are doing to yourself long term by sticking in a relationship where the man is not doing you the courtesy or honour of publicly acknowledging you as his love and partner.  I&amp;#039;m afraid that no one can make your difficult decision for you. But one suggestion I have is that you might put some sort of time limit on the relationship as it is right now.  Of course, there is always a small chance that if you ended it, he would suddenly realise that he really minded losing you and might then want to live with you and commit to you.  But the other possibility is that that won&amp;#039;t happen and that he&amp;#039;ll go on through life saying that he enjoys being single and determined not to commit because he has been hurt once.  In a way I long to shake this man and tell him to go and get some therapy! But you&amp;#039;re the one who&amp;#039;s written to me, not him. So we must assume that right now he&amp;#039;s happy with the situation. It&amp;#039;s you who is not.  And I can only say to you that one day you may regret having given so much of your time to a man who seems determined to deny himself the best that life can offer.  I wish you luck in whatever you decide. I fear that no decision that you take will be easy and my heart goes out to you. Yours sincerely Dr David Delvin, GP, and Christine Webber, sex and relationships expert  Other Qs &amp;amp;amp; As After two years my boyfriend now tells me he is happier on his own Am I better off without my partner and her stepchildren? Am I crazy to still be with my partner? Don&amp;#039;t know whether I should end my marriage I am stuck in a loveless marriage and don&amp;#039;t know what to do I don\u2019t want to be with her anymore I don\u2019t want to have a life full of regret  I don&amp;#039;t love my husband I don&amp;#039;t love my partner anymore I\u2019ve gone off my partner I&amp;#039;m no longer attracted to my partner My marriage is on the rocks Should I leave her? Should I leave my partner and be a single parent? Should I move on? Should I sit tight or make a break for it? Should I stand by my man? Should I stay in this relationship? Should I stay with him for the sake of the children? Should I tell him I don&amp;#039;t fancy him anymore, or should I fake enjoying sex? Should we split? The spark has gone out of our marriage  Last updated 04.01.2008 "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/ask-the-expert/sexual-health/a2165/i-know-the-answer-is-to-end-it-but-what-do-you-think/>