<http://schema.org/articleBody>
" Growing up, I couldn&amp;#039;t ask for anything better than having divorced parents, grandparents, and step-grandparents. I had second and third sets of every family member, which meant more presents, more food, and more love. All I had to do was listen to my parents argue over who had me for Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas morning, then show up. Unfortunately, once I became an adult, I was thrown into the minefield in the middle of the chaos and fighting. I try to avoid hurting anyone&amp;#039;s feelings and duck for cover when artillery is coming my way. However, my schedule is no longer made for me, I don&amp;#039;t get all the extra presents anymore, and everyone gets jealous when I spend an extra five minutes at the other side of the family&amp;#039;s house. The first step is figuring out when and where everyone will be. I write down the many different stops I have to make, allotting a certain amount of time to each group. Figuring out how long to stay at each place gets a little complicated because my sister will be at her mom&amp;#039;s in the morning, which means she won&amp;#039;t be at my dad&amp;#039;s at night, so I can&amp;#039;t go to Aunt Monica&amp;#039;s that night because I have to be at my dad&amp;#039;s with my sister, but then my mom will be upset because I won&amp;#039;t be at Aunt Monica&amp;#039;s, but if I show up at my dad&amp;#039;s before my sister and stay for a short time after my sister does, I can probably still make it to Aunt Monica&amp;#039;s and have time to make it to Grandma Rachel&amp;#039;s before that ends. Phew, I got it. I figured it out and the schedule is set. Anyone who tries to change it now will be taken out. Now it&amp;#039;s time to tackle gifts. As an adult, I no longer receive all the fun extra presents; instead I now buy the fun extra presents. YAY! As I write my never-ending list, I go on a roller-coaster of emotions. I write the obvious names that I remember right away. Sigh of relief, that wasn&amp;#039;t too bad. Then I start remembering more people and begin to feel like Santa Claus. Am I buying gifts for the entire world? Can I eliminate the people who were bad this year? I start to think of all the reasons I don&amp;#039;t have to buy gifts for certain people and cross them off only to remember the freak out it caused last year when I bought Cousin Joey a present, but didn&amp;#039;t buy one for Ross. I reluctantly add them back to the list. My budget just got blown into pieces by the land mine I stepped on. I give myself permission to cry, but not for too long because I have to get my head back in the game. I pray that someone gets me a full spa day to help me relax after the stressful hell I&amp;#039;m going through. Then it&amp;#039;s time to actually go to the first family gathering. As I enter, I proceed with caution. I&amp;#039;m careful not to talk about the other side of the family too much or mention that those aunts and uncles got way better presents. I remind myself not to eat too much; I don&amp;#039;t want to be full at my next stop, as that could lead to a grenade being thrown at me. Also, I don&amp;#039;t mention why I&amp;#039;m leaving, so I just carefully slide out. I repeat this six times and then collapse in my bed. I congratulate myself on making it all the way through without a disaster. I managed to celebrate one holiday, six different times with a smile on my face and without hurting anyone&amp;#039;s feelings. I don&amp;#039;t check my bank account for the next couple weeks or look at the mess of myself in the mirror, but I do celebrate by avoiding all family members for at least a week and relaxing. Only to then do it all over again next year. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/relationships/a35735/family-divorces-terrible-holidays/>