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" 1. If the guy suggests a dry date as your first date you immediately do not want to go. You&amp;#039;re like, Jamba Juice? I&amp;#039;m not going to fucking Jamba Juice. There are going to be weird silences, and I&amp;#039;m going to overthink everything I say, and potential kissing will be uncomfortable, and I&amp;#039;ll actually feel the cold. Who are you? It&amp;#039;s hard for People Like Us to muster up the energy to do this shit without the manufactured interpersonal chemistry of drinking. I know how you feel, because my family crest is a bottle of Absolut with the logo &amp;quot;Drink Enough To Forget The Divorce Rate,&amp;quot; but sober dating is not as awful as you think. Actually, it totally is, but you&amp;#039;re both in it together.  2. If you drink a lot before the date. It is very easy and breezy to have a glass or two of wine while you&amp;#039;re getting ready and your get-jazzed-to-meet-a-new-human jam is cranked up (mine is &amp;quot;Let The Bodies Hit The Floor&amp;quot; by Drowning Pool). But are you drinking for pleasure or for purpose? Because you are a connoisseur of fine wine or because you are using pinot to wrap yourself in a cozy amniotic sac of liquid courage? Remember \u2013 you are very likely heading to a night of more drinking. Pregaming heavily is a one-way ticket to Puke Out The Window of a Cabville. Where I am the mayor-elect, incidentally. 3. If you order and finish a drink before he even rolls up to the place. So you are sitting at the bar by yourself, dreading the moment when this stranger walks in the door and is inevitably shorter than he said he was, with every bone in your body screaming that you should get out of this bar and go home and watch NCSI: Miami. The chances are good that you are sucking down that drink. Already being one or one-and-a-half deep when he gets there is not great form. The caveat is if he texts you: &amp;quot;running l8, nbd just child support drama lol see u soon!!!!&amp;quot; and had not even told you he had a kid. In that case, you can just find a nice thick vein in your arm and inject Sambuca. I&amp;#039;m not going to stop you.  4. If you judge him by his drink order, or the way he drinks, or how little he drinks. Like if you notice he makes a face while drinking straight liquor, or is drinking slower or less than you, and you&amp;#039;re like &amp;quot;This Is Not a Man.&amp;quot; This is not a fair or decent snap judgment to make, or a good value system for who you date, which of course means I do it all the time. 5. If you start feeling like it&amp;#039;s easier to stick it out and get completely hammered on a bad date than pretend you&amp;#039;re really tired and leave. This partly also has to do with being socialized, as gals, to not hurt people&amp;#039;s feelings. But fuck this, just go home, it&amp;#039;s not worth the hangover/potentially hooking up with the guy because you&amp;#039;re so drunk. 6. If you&amp;#039;re worried you won&amp;#039;t be attracted to him without booze involved. Then you need to not date him, I think. Is that harsh? 7. If you always order the strongest drink you can to start off. Or, if you never drink straight liquor or beer normally because it gets you too drunk, you do when you&amp;#039;re on dates.  strong&amp;gt;8. If you&amp;#039;ve ever done that thing where you were trashed and basically begging the guy to have sex with you but he&amp;#039;s like, &amp;quot;No, you&amp;#039;re too drunk and I don&amp;#039;t want to take advantage,&amp;quot; and you start wailing, &amp;quot;OHMAGAAAA, YOU THINK I&amp;#039;M AN UGLY HAG FROM THE OCEAN FLOOR.&amp;quot; It&amp;#039;s so real. 9. If the looming threat of whiskey dick doesn&amp;#039;t even cross your mind. The possibility of him drinking so much that he can&amp;#039;t get it up later doesn&amp;#039;t occur to you, or deter you from drinking. Because without drinking, you&amp;#039;ll have whiskey soul, as in you won&amp;#039;t be able to get your soul up. 10. If you drink heavily on dates because you think you&amp;#039;re more charming when you&amp;#039;re drunk. You&amp;#039;re not. You only think that because your brain stem looks like this, and also because you are, maybe, just a tiny bit worried that your regular sober self isn&amp;#039;t good enough for him. It is. Now put down the shot. Follow Anna on Twitter. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a5347/drunk-on-dates-always/?click=rel>