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" The kiss\u2026Doug&amp;#039;s kiss. It is all I&amp;#039;ve been thinking about all week.  He kissed me and then I kissed him back, and it was one of those kisses where you feel your legs go limp, and it&amp;#039;s like you are 17 years old again. When we pulled away, an older Sports Illustrated reporter who had come outside to smoke a cigarette jokingly applauded.  I blushed, and we went back inside to be with Jackson. But before we did, Doug said that he was going out of town for a week to New Mexico on an assignment.  &amp;quot;And there&amp;#039;s no rush for us to talk about this, okay? We will figure it out. We will. In time. I just couldn&amp;#039;t leave without doing that.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m glad you didn&amp;#039;t,&amp;quot; I said. Because I was glad. At the bottom of everything, I was.  Until I walked into Jason&amp;#039;s hospital room yesterday and had to remember the rest of it.  Jason was sitting up in bed watching Law &amp;amp;amp; Order. He gave me a big smile when he saw me. &amp;quot;I can&amp;#039;t decide if I love this show, or hate it,&amp;quot; he said. &amp;quot;I think I go back and forth within the hour.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;I know what you mean,&amp;quot; I said. I was still standing in the doorway, leaning against the door frame.  Jason patted the bed, and I slowly walked over and took a seat.  &amp;quot;How are you feeling?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;Pretty good,&amp;quot; he said. &amp;quot;The doctors seem to think I can be discharged soon.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;That&amp;#039;s great,&amp;quot; I said.  He nodded. Then he got quiet for a little while. &amp;quot;I have a lot to say to you, and I&amp;#039;m not sure where to start,&amp;quot; he said. &amp;quot;But the first thing you need to know is that it is slowly coming back to me. Pieces of it, at least.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;Pieces of what?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;Of how I behaved these last few months.&amp;quot; He looked very upset. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s like a bad dream every time I remember. And, so, what I guess I&amp;#039;m trying to say is that I do not expect you to forgive me right now. I would be confused and concerned if you did. There is no way to know what is for real with me.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;No kidding,&amp;quot; I said.  He gave me a sad smile. &amp;quot;I want you to know a few other things too, Liz. I just need you to know them, so that maybe we can figure out a way to be\u2026.friends.&amp;quot;  I was quiet.  &amp;quot;First off, I will be helping Leslie financially with the child, but I will in no way be involved with her anymore in a romantic way. And, second: I know that Abby is staying with you right now, but my wonderful ex-wife finally called, and she is coming home Monday to get her.&amp;quot;  I felt something break open in my chest. Of course, that was the right thing. Of course it was. But I didn&amp;#039;t want her to go.  &amp;quot;My point, Liz, is that with Abby going back to her mother&amp;#039;s, I have had papers drafted that will allow you to see her whenever you&amp;#039;d like. Regardless of what happens between us. I had the papers notarized this morning, and your relationship with her will remain absolutely separate from whatever you decide to do about me. I even put a clause in there that we can figure out a time \u2014 during my custodial period each week \u2014 where you have a standing date together.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;I appreciate that. I do.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m glad.&amp;quot;  I cleared my throat. &amp;quot;But Jason, even with these gestures, I just can&amp;#039;t imagine going back to where we were\u2026&amp;quot; &amp;quot;Then don&amp;#039;t,&amp;quot; he said. &amp;quot;Just don&amp;#039;t imagine anything else yet either. And when you feel up to it, please read this.&amp;quot;  Which was when he handed me a letter.  &amp;quot;What is this?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;Something else,&amp;quot; he said. &amp;quot;That you need to know.&amp;quot; "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/a1840/diary-e-071307/>